Slowclap awards for genuine stupidity

[Liudeius]

Unfortunately I don't remember stupid things other people do...
One stupid thing I remember saying was that Nicaragua is in Africa. (It's in central America)

Most recently, two of my friends were making fun of the Red Ring of Death like its 2008. So I turn around and remind one of them that two of his PS3s have YLOD'd over a year. He said it was just bad luck, but I told him it was a generally problem with where the Graphics card is placed in the old 60GB models. And he still stalwartly defends the PS3 like its the next messiah.

Actually YLOD's are extremely uncommon. It was just bad luck, because YLOD's are within expected failure percentage for any electronic products (aka: very very low).

 

[Saltyk]

Mine happened in my history class. It went like this.

Girl: I'm not going to be here tomorrow.
Teacher: Why not?
Girl: I'm getting my gall bladder removed.
Stupid Girl: But then how will you have babies?

Luckily that teacher is making a book of stupid things people have said in his class. I can't wait for him to publish it, I would so buy a copy.

A book of stupid things students said in class? Oh, hell yeah! I'd buy that.

Okay, so yours was bad, but I think I might have you beat.
Girl: "Why don't we have robot teachers?" I had to stifle a laugh. I think even the teacher was having trouble containing herself. The girl just seemed confused.
By the way, this was an HONORS class.

 

[Moromillas]

Oh, so you do know how bread is made then?
"Yeah, of course. It's made with bread crumbs. Bread crumbs and water I think."

 

[CptRumGuy]

Have a few:

History teacher is quizzing us before one of our tests. The test is on WWII which we'd been studying for weeks. She asks a question about Pearl Harbor (don't remember the exact wording) and a girl in my class confidently raises her hand and says the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor in 1945. I'd forgive on the basis of simple ignorance except we'd been STUDYING THAT FOR WEEKS.

Another time we were having an assembly where some people came to talk to us about future careers or something. One of the speakers was a female airline pilot. After talking to us about her job for roughly 45 minutes, she asks us if we have any questions. A girl raises her and and asks her "How long have you been a flight attendant?"

And finally,

Guy walks into a ham store. Looks around for a minute, then walks up to the counter and asks,

"Do y'all sell ham here?"

 

[Mr Pantomime]

Most recently, two of my friends were making fun of the Red Ring of Death like its 2008. So I turn around and remind one of them that two of his PS3s have YLOD'd over a year. He said it was just bad luck, but I told him it was a generally problem with where the Graphics card is placed in the old 60GB models. And he still stalwartly defends the PS3 like its the next messiah.

Actually YLOD's are extremely uncommon. It was just bad luck, because YLOD's are within expected failure percentage for any electronic products (aka: very very low).

While that may be true, I was more amused by the hypocracy of condemning a console for a hardware failure while you experiance 2 similar failures with a competiors console, and still sing its praises.

Also, they were 60GB models, which are prone to failure due to a problem with the graphics card, and the fact that theyre pretty old.

 

[SimpleJack]

This actually happened to a friend of mine but, whatever.

So for whatever reason my friend decides to write on this girls notebook or whatever in a class.
He chooses to write "asshole" cause hes a bit of a retard himself.
Anyway he manages to write it down, she turns to him and looks at what he wrote and goes:
"That not how you spell it" (in nasally girly voice) She precedes to spell the word "asswhole"

-_- I slowclapped myself to sleep after hearing this.

 

[Xlr8DETH]

i was on a blind date with literally the dumbest girl i have ever met we were watching the movie 2012. during one of the scenes where it showed the Himalayan mountains she asked "what are they doing in the Appalachians?" than later in the movie when the washington monument got destroyed she thought it was the Eiffel tower i literally got up, left the theater and went home

 

[ntw3001]

Me and a friend were comparing work in a math class one day. I noticed he had a different answer for the what x may be in the equation:

x[sup]3[/sup] + 8x[sup]2[/sup] + 3x - 108

He had -3, -4 and -9 while it was supposed to be -3, 4 and -9. Here came the slow clap.

Oh wait, that was a genuine mistake, not just a guy being stupid. In this thread, you will find an abundance of genuine mistakes, rather than genuine stupidity.

OT: I rarely find anything of actual stupidity. When I do, I correct the mistake. Usually, stupidity isn't genuine and is actually emphasized to get attention, however.

NOTE: You will find that the answers to the equation are wrong. I must have made a mistake, I'm not stupid.

Well, you were right. To nobody's surprise, I'm sure. This thread is a little embarrassing.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Me and my friend talk about a lot of stuff you wouldn't expect us to in our free time -- Stalingrad, Prussia, Persians, a lot of history subjects.

So, on this particular day we were talking about Napoleon Bonaparte, and his ways to rise to power and other parts of it. We were talking about empires, France, Waterloo, when...

A girl asks "wait, are you talking about Napoleon Dynamite?"

 

[Nightvalien]

oh i got one, this moron was yelling and trying to get the bus driver attention by constantly saying "hey sir", but then turns out it was a woman, he turns to his friend and yuks like a moron and say "yuk yuk it was a woman that answered when i called her sir yuk".

 

[Hawkmoon269]

Girl in my history class got confused when I told her Wales was attached to England.
I showed her a map of Great Britain (thats just the island, it doesnt include Ireland) in our history textbook of Oliver Cromwell and she replied that the map was old, and that landmass moves about over time.

Faceplam.

Infact, it was so much of a facepalm, that when the teacher shouted at me to stop talking, I explained to him what my conversation was about and he just laughed.

 

[fragmaster09]

i was in a maths lesson, distacting the teacher(and myself), because i hate maths so bleh... anyway, i was distracting her and i looked up and said really loudly "OH MAI GAWD IT'S A TURTLE!", which i saw in an optical illusion on the wall

 

[TheFinalFantasyWolf]

A girl in my class once read aloud a story concerning her dog....It finished like this "I starved my dog to death. Then. It died."

I'm not sure if this counts, but I once tricked one of my friends who was reading the twilight novels. She was only half-way through the series and she asked me to tell her how it ended since she was so curious, and she just couldn't wait. (btw I'm sorry for bringing up Twilight) I told her that in the end, Bella couldn't decide between Edward and Jacob, so they had a threesome. LOL Her jaw dropped and she was like, "No way". I then told her that both Edward and Jacob got a turn screwing Bella, and that their combined semen turned into one mega semen that impregnated her, so that she gave birth to a vampire dog. She bought the whole story .

For hours she tried to make some logical sense of the situation, asking me if impregnation is really possible from two different people. Of course, I continued to lead her on by saying "its definitely possible! In fact sometimes on the Maury show (a show where on occasion, men find out if they are the biological father to a child or not) the DNA results are mixed between two fathers, and they both have to look after the baby."....I think it got up to the 3-4 hour mark that I couldn't stand it anymore and I just told her the truth. Her reaction? "Awwww, you made want to finish the novel when you told me about the threesome, but now..." XD

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

My little kindergarten aged brother was brought into our old principle's office, told he couldn't hang out with a specific friend, and asked to write an apology for being "Racially intolerant"... What did he do that was "racially intolerant" you ask? Well simple, he was playing a game with some friends where he pretended to be a super villain with the power to "Control people's minds", the group itself was racially diverse, there was one black kid, most of them were white kids, and a few hispanic kids... Well he made the mistake of "controlling their minds" and saying "Now you're my slaves, get me some icecream slaves!" When our old principle heard that, she was so upset that she drove him to tears. >.>

That's just harsh. Of course an adult is going to pick up on the connotations of that but did she seriously think that your brother was even old enough to understand the concept of racism?

 

[RootbeerJello]

A kid in my class asked if Nelson Mandela was resposible for the Haitian Revolution.

 

[Mylinkay Asdara]

My little kindergarten aged brother was brought into our old principle's office, told he couldn't hang out with a specific friend, and asked to write an apology for being "Racially intolerant"... What did he do that was "racially intolerant" you ask? Well simple, he was playing a game with some friends where he pretended to be a super villain with the power to "Control people's minds", the group itself was racially diverse, there was one black kid, most of them were white kids, and a few hispanic kids... Well he made the mistake of "controlling their minds" and saying "Now you're my slaves, get me some icecream slaves!" When our old principle heard that, she was so upset that she drove him to tears. >.>

That's just harsh. Of course an adult is going to pick up on the connotations of that but did she seriously think that your brother was even old enough to understand the concept of racism?

No. A kindergartener is incapable of appreciating the abstract concept of racism, and that "teacher" should be driven from the education system with pitchforks and torches (not going to happen though, so you may want to save your effort for positively spinning the event for the kid instead). It's basic developmental psychology that almost any state requires teachers to take for certification in training or college. So ridiculous. This is what things like 0 tolerance policies breed with the idea that any and everything related to an issue is some social injustice to be stamped out - even if it's not, and it's really just a group of kids playing together - which, is just beginning to happen at that age anyway - more they are "playing around" each other than in a cooperative group yet. That's what you're supposed to learn to do in kindergarten. /sigh.

I should clarify: what's upsetting me is that that was a 'teachable moment' where those kids could have learned something about the idea of slavery being a bad thing, a thing that we should always think about as mean to the other people involved - who are just like us - and all of that. Instead, this kid is probably traumatized and likely don't have a very clear idea of what he did 'wrong' in the first place.

 

[Kukakkau]

The time I made two of my friends (at the same time) believe that pirate hooks sole purpose was for the abortion of the rape and pillage victims

While fishing:
Sister: Oh it's raining, won't the fish come not come out now?
Dad: Yeah, they're afraid of water (sarcasm)
Sister: Yeah I always thought that!

 

[Woodsey]

Me and my friend where talking about Nazis and Hitler back in High school.
This girl who isn't actually that dumb, asked us "What's Hitler?"

That's Germany's response. "What's Hitler?"
Lets see there was that time someone asked me what omnipotence was.

Hardly an act of great stupidity. I'm sure plenty of people have general words that they've just never come across.

 

[Shakomaru]

Ohh this is great. There's a really stupid girl in my year who has said all of the following, with no shame.
"Jews and nazis were the same thing"
"The revolutionary war was in the eighteen hundreds"
"If your last name ends in a vowel, you are Italian"
SO EVERYONE! BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR ITALIAN JEW NAZIS WHO FOUGHT IN THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR IN THE 1800'S!
Also, second place to the lady in duke nukem forever who says "I wonder... If I clap and no one is around to hear it, what will it sound like?"