So eh, what are the "modern ways" to get women these days?

[Arsen]

You know, I gotta be honest. The more and more society, human civilization, and the rest of the world go on...the worse things get. I accepted the fact that we're going backwards as a society, are becoming less and less intimate, caring, and overall human as a species and as a race. The 1990's attitude towards the open nature of sexuality, the less courtship and traditional aspects involved...we've devolved into a bunch of whores who believe their sole purpose is to spread their genetic material. It sickens me.

With that being said, the dating scale has tipped so drastically and in a direction that "some people", myself namely, just don't fucking know what to do anymore. It's been...roughly the span of about seven years since I have last dated. This could be the offset of several key indicators and the knowledge that I am either ridiculously judgemental of other human beings, or in the end, am just a very unorthodox, authoritarian minded individual with an outsider's perspective on a multitude of issues and problems.

Now, before we all jump on the bandwagon and feed each other a bunch of meaningless drivel, overstated facts, and exaggerations of the "alpha male" stereotype to "win and fuck the *****", allow me to just simply state that...I really don't even know what the hell I want. I refuse to go through with the embarrassment stage of life again, don't know the damned script to it all, and am quite possibly one of the most vehement, vindictive, wrathful fucking people on the face of the earth because of how things have gone sour for me in the past with this. Let me just say I was in the military, it was a bad time...and oh dear God did things not end well.

Now, just a few basic facts about myself:

- Basic, thin, runner's build.
- Not a 10 out of 10, not a 6 out of 10 either.
- I am not one who gives a shit about getting deeply involved with another until I feel they are of merit and worth.
- My basic problem is "talking" to people. I just...can't fucking stand people.
- The last part comes with a very simple flaw: Those I seemingly wish to date or have an interest in dating (upon physical appearance, minut interaction at a cash register generally) seem to be the one's which are "out of my league" in the sense that they mentally view as someone of a lower standing...however I have the mental, insightful, deep, and otherwise "intellectual" skillset, plus that "dark, brooding" outsider appearance. No. Not the threatening type. More along the lines of just...being a bit closed off to people.
- In the end, my entire opinions and worldviews are shaped by the hellish, grueling, empirical experiences I have had.

Now. Without changing a single thing about myself or my social nature, and just "adding" a few things...tell me videogame nerds of the internet, what the hell should a nearly 26 year old virgin do? I am very open to comments, criticisms, judgements...but let's be CONSTRUCTIVE about it. That is my one condition.

Go ahead.
Ready, aim, fire.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

Out of college eh? Well I'd say, go to a club or something, a bar if you will. Don't come on to strong or to cheesy and if that doesn't work theres always those dating website.

 

[Argonian alchemist]

Well I normally start by following them home whilst smelling a strand of their hair lost from a week before, then when their sleeping I write "I see you " all over their walls.

It definitely gets their attention...

What?

 

[Truth Cake]

It's the same really no matter what you look like- be confident, and don't be an idiot.

Seriously, I know butt-ugly guys that are going out with easy 10's, just because they summed up the guts to ask them out and didn't say blatantly stupid things around them. It's that simple.

 

[JB1528]

Well don't mean to sound like an ass or anything but the main thing is if you want to get a girl is drop that pretentious, smug, and arrogant attitude you have, it doesn't make you charming, it just makes you sound like a dick.

Remember the number 1 rule of getting a relationship, girls LOVE confidence, but girls HATE arrogance.

Lol I remember what my Dad told me, "Son to get girls you don't have to get them drunk, all you have to do is be funny and to feed them". And I gotta say that was the best damn advice he ever told me. Always be funny, always be confident, never be arrogant.

 

[The Virgo]

The captcha is "Respect Me".

I think there's a connection between it and this thread ... O_e

 

[Arsen]

Out of college eh? Well I'd say, go to a club or something, a bar if you will. Don't come on to strong or to cheesy and if that doesn't work theres always those dating website.

The websites are fake. ALL OF THEM.

I am thinking my problem is that I listen to European Metal. That just simply doesn't exist club wise over here.

 

[lordmardok]

Lol I remember what my Dad told me, "Son to get girls you don't have to get them drunk, all you have to do is be funny and to feed them". And I gotta say that was the best damn advice he ever told me.

^^^ this forever.

Confidence is basically it, although try to bear this in mind: We haven't actually degraded all that far, although the dating scene is drastically reduced in the number of couples who go out on dates on friday night and see movie and have dinner and all that '90s romcom stuff, it's not actually dead.

Yah I know, imagine my surprise when I realized it.

Then imagine me slamming my head in car door for not noticing it and wasting two and a half years on girls who weren't worth it.

Anyways the point being, asking a woman out on a date isn't hard, it seems daunting but most woman who are willing to strike up a conversation with a guy are also usually willing to go on at least one date with him assuming he didn't come off like a complete d-bag.

Classic's like 'Dinner & a Movie' are more than alive, they're like a thriving underground cult classic movie, still an excellent example of how to do it but only known to a small number. Most women would love go on a simple date, see a good movie, talk about it over a dinner at a decent restaurant, that kind of thing. It actually works well.

As proof: I've been with my girlfriend going 3 years now, our first date was to go see Ponyo at a mall theater, then get dinner at a sushi place, then go out and sit on a log at a beach watching a sunset.

Is that corny or what?

She says, to this day, that it was the best date of her life.

 

[Arsen]

Well don't mean to sound like an ass or anything but the main thing is if you want to get a girl is drop that pretentious, smug, and arrogant attitude you have, it doesn't make you charming, it just makes you sound like a dick.

Remember the number 1 rule of getting a relationship, girls LOVE confidence, but girls HATE arrogance.

Lol I remember what my Dad told me, "Son to get girls you don't have to get them drunk, all you have to do is be funny and to feed them". And I gotta say that was the best damn advice he ever told me. Always be funny, always be confident, never be arrogant.

Arrogance is confidence with balls wearing a leather jacket whilst carrying a switchblade sir.

 

[lordmardok]

Arrogance is confidence with balls wearing a leather jacket whilst carrying a switchblade sir.

Nah, Arrogance is the cousin of confidence, the one who's painfully white but still wears his hat sideways, his pants around his knees, and knots up his fingers in painful shapes that he secretly hopes look like gang-signs.

 

[mythlover20]

Honey, i listen to Symphonic Metal and on top of that I am a ballroom dancer. Add in the fact that I'm a Carer and my dating life is worse than yours, and I'm older than you to.

So listen to your elders when I say this: There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with the old fashioned aproach. Chivilary really does work in your favour. Be nice. Be courteous. Give her a bunch of flowers or something. Men don't do that enough for us these days. And we women do love a man who knows how to dance, so take lessons, either with or without them. Both will work in your favour. Romance is a cliche FOR A BLOODY REASON!!! WE LIKE IT!

Above all don't just go trolling for sex. A lot of women will not put out just because a bloke wants it, and in fact I can tell you right now that for me, and most women I know, it pretty much guarantees that you'll never see me (or her) again. Or ever have a change with any of my (or her) MANY friends at a later date.

Be confident, be HONEST, do NOT be pretencious, do not worry about the style of appearance, because you can do well -dressed and gothic at the same time, so nothing tatty, and be nice.

That will help, at least. The rest would be up to you.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

Contrary to popular belief, we women aren't some bizarre alien lifeform. Do you have friends, OP? I would assume so. And how did you make those friends? Probably by going up and having a conversation with them. So, simply put, do the same with any potential date. Talk to her. If you have an interesting conversation, ask for her phone number at the end of it. Or ask if she wants to go out to dinner sometime. Or whatever. Just do something to arrange some other time to meet. It's as simple as that.

Also...

- My basic problem is "talking" to people. I just...can't fucking stand people.

This might be part of your problem.

Overall... and, mind, I don't know if this is how you normally are... your post came off as really aggressive and confrontational. In a bad way. As in, a "I will attack if you say something that upsets me" sort of mindset. And if you're approaching anyone like that, male or female, potential date or not, they're going to be put off.

I'm a fairly closed-off person myself, who doesn't like letting anyone close, and has an atypical, "outsider"-esque view of many different issues. I apparently am extremely hard to approach due to my tendency to wear an eternal death glare. But I've never had a problem finding a date if I wanted one... or even if I don't want one. What's the difference between you and I? Well, I'd have to know more about you to find out.

If you want to ask me something, feel free to message or quote me. I am in no way representative of my entire gender, but I've been told I'm fairly adept at helping people through issues like this.

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

How does alcohol affect you inhibition-wise? Does it allow you to get along with people? Or does it make you insult them openly?

I'd also agree with the advice that would tell you to be less pretentious. Reading that whole "I am ever so smart and deep" thing is irritating. Certainly you can be smart, but using it as an example of your own superiority does not get you anywhere.

Use smarts to be amusing, as was also suggested.

 

[jthm]

Right click, save image as.

Or y'know... try not to be such a narcissistic ass.

 

[MadHatter1993]

well, one thing i learned was to never say date, it may work sometimes, but it's always better to say hangout, girls feel safer and not as committed because of that word.

 

[Low Key]

Well don't mean to sound like an ass or anything but the main thing is if you want to get a girl is drop that pretentious, smug, and arrogant attitude you have, it doesn't make you charming, it just makes you sound like a dick.

Remember the number 1 rule of getting a relationship, girls LOVE confidence, but girls HATE arrogance.

Lol I remember what my Dad told me, "Son to get girls you don't have to get them drunk, all you have to do is be funny and to feed them". And I gotta say that was the best damn advice he ever told me. Always be funny, always be confident, never be arrogant.

Arrogance is confidence with balls wearing a leather jacket whilst carrying a switchblade sir.

Maybe if you're in a dick waggling contest with some guys over some power struggle, but it doesn't work with women. Clearly, because it hasn't worked for you.

Edit: I suppose that's a bit insensitive, but still, don't be arrogant.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

There's plenty of ways to go about it and different girls respond to different things. But whatever you do, you have to act with confidence. You need to come off as trustworthy and responsible for your actions. As long as you have that going, you can be as quirky, funny, sarcastic, etc. as you please (in fact I'd advise that last part, since you also need to be somewhat interesting and distinguished as well).

Just a couple of quick, general tips as well:

1. Using "Pick-up lines" is an awful approach. I've never seen it work with anyone, it just makes you look like you have little experience with intimate relationships and screams of desperation.

2. Give her the opportunity to do a lot of the talking and let her tell you about herself. People get bored listening to other people talk about themselves, so keep the conversation back-and-forth. I know you probably want to let her know what kind of awesome person you are but you've got to try not to smother her with information. Just keep it casual, give her just as much room to talk to you about herself, and that should be enough to maintain a fun, back-and-forth conversation.

Its really all about the the basics like confidence, humour, personality, etc. All different kinds of people get laid and maintain relationships, so its almost irrelevant how you dress, talk and whatnot.

 

[Linsenman]

Well I normally start by following them home whilst smelling a strand of their hair lost from a week before, then when their sleeping I write "I see you " all over their walls.

It definitely gets their attention...

What?

LMFAO That may be the best comment I have ever seen...

On Topic: I agree with some of the others, drop the arrogance. Confident, yes, arrogant is a big no. Of course, some women will like it but mostly not (from my experiences). And I have a friend with roughly the same problem, he can't relate to people because he believes them all inferior to him until proven not. Stop that. Yeah, I think people are generally not the brightest but I let them prove me wrong. You on the other hand (like my friend) do not seem the type to actually let someone change the way you perceive people. That good sir, is definitely part of the problem. Just tone that down a bit and you might be surprised at the results....

 

[Cain_Zeros]

You're an overly-cynical, vindictive misanthrope. You admit it, and you almost seem proud of it. That's probably part of the problem. The thing about women is, they're people. As such, you need to deal with people in order to meet them.