So eh, what are the "modern ways" to get women these days?

[artanis_neravar]

It is important to note that I am not the OP. I'm only mentioning this so you don't respond like I am

first off, knock 2 off your out of 10 score, that's a rule, so your between 5 and 7... shouldn't be a problem.

Is this a normal rule? cause that makes me a -2

2 hating people may be a problem.... in fact its a big fucking problem i dislike society these days but sex is SO worth some social interaction.

Completely agree with this

also be confident, mopeing about in front of a girl is not how you get attention, approach her and be funny and polite, HAVE FUN TALKING TO HER, fun and happiness are infectious. if your not overdoing it, it will help your chances.

I also agree with this confidence is the foundation of every relationship

.

it took me 2 hours, you should try to do better.

Challenge accepted

 

[artanis_neravar]

Now. Without changing a single thing about myself or my social nature, and just "adding" a few things...tell me videogame nerds of the internet, what the hell should a nearly 26 year old virgin do? I am very open to comments, criticisms, judgements...but let's be CONSTRUCTIVE about it. That is my one condition.

Go ahead.
Ready, aim, fire.

I'm going to go with nothing, the fact that you are unwilling to change is very limiting and seems like it will scare people away

 

[BRex21]

I know this has been beaten to death, but you really won't find much on the dating scene with attitudes like that, there is a general concensus on what is an attractive personality and you don't fit the mold, counseling may be able to help you redirect some of that anger either into something constructive or at least help you to see that it shouldn't be directed at everyone. As someone with a selection of both male and female friends I find it amazing how often the I dont get men/women, why do they have to be so... topics overlap.

If you really just want sex and not to have to spend time with someone you may want to look into prostitutes. Heck, there cheaper than most of the girls I've gone out with.

 

[bluepilot]

Well don't mean to sound like an ass or anything but the main thing is if you want to get a girl is drop that pretentious, smug, and arrogant attitude you have, it doesn't make you charming, it just makes you sound like a dick.

Remember the number 1 rule of getting a relationship, girls LOVE confidence, but girls HATE arrogance.

Lol I remember what my Dad told me, "Son to get girls you don't have to get them drunk, all you have to do is be funny and to feed them". And I gotta say that was the best damn advice he ever told me. Always be funny, always be confident, never be arrogant.

Ditto this. Your Dad is so smart. I love guys who make me laugh and feed me, yay.

Reading your post it seems like you need to relax, chill out a bit. I can understand that you hate people, I myself do not like people so much either but fir every one hundred or so jerks there is someone worth knowing.

I think you should try to be someone's friend first then see what happens.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

first off: our purpose is to spread genetic material. its so humanity continues. its not 'whoring around' or being slutty, its finding a decent partner.
anyway, what you want to do is go hang out with friends somewhere like a bar or a coffee shop etc. then talk to women. confidence will help, and who cares if they say 'no', you still asked them. ask someone else. and if you have a few decent female friends, they might be able to give you advice, or set you up with a friend of theirs.

 

[dryan21]

pretty much the only thing ive learnt from a long time of sexual pursuits, 'If you don't ask, you won't get'. You have to take chances, playing it safe wont get you anywhere.

I learnt from this when i was younger, it took me the majority of a night to sum up the courage to kiss a girl i was chatting to. Thankfully it all went well, however afterwards I realised that I would've felt worse if I did nothing, than getting rejected.

 

[William Keller]

ATTENTION: In the following post I will exhibit some of my very personal ideas and opinions on the thread subject. In case you do not agree with something, please accept that I have a right to state my opinion and feel free to state yours.

Sorry for the rather awkward introduction. I have had some very negative experiences in the past and I am trying to avoid them.

I myself am very much like Arsen. I am anti-social by definition and in essence, for I do not enjoy the standard "social activities", which are popular today. I hate opening myself to people and generally going along with the mass, because I simply have other interests.

For example, I do not understand why sex is becoming more and more important today. OK, I know it's a positive experience, both in terms of bodily pleasure and psychological certainty, yet I believe it's beginning to take up a very large amount of our time and energy. I even know some people who have become obsessed with how sexually attractive they are to such a degree that they are developing serious psychological fears.

Anyway, my point is that "getting the girl" isn't at all that important as one might think it is. Once you get used to it, loneliness isn't at all such a painful situation. It is only when you become obsessed with finding your "special someone" that you constantly hurt yourself and perhaps the people around you. To put it simply, relax and let time do its work.

As for my method of approaching the lady in question (or gentleman, if you're a lady) is pure honesty. You don't have to lie to her or pretend you have a personality different than your own. Both women and men (women are perhaps better at it) can tell when you're lying and when you're not. Being honest, however, does not mean being provocative or hasty. Just tell her/him how you feel.

At least that's what I would do.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

Just be yourself.

...BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHH couldn't keep a straight face. That is fuck-all terrible advice.

But yeah, 18 year old virgin here (don't worry, I'll be a virgin for much longer, no social skills and crippling anxiety/paranoia coupled with nice amounts of sadly well founded self-hatred), so it's not like I can actually give you useful advice. Maybe tone back all that hatred and anger a bit. That would help. Not in an "I don't give a fuck" way, more like in a "just keep on walkin' " way.

 

[Jazoni89]

Have an asbo, or two.

Girls like a man who can smash someone else's face in with a glass bottle.

At least in England, that's the only way to get a girlfriend nowadays.

 

[Esotera]

- My basic problem is "talking" to people. I just...can't fucking stand people.

Greetings, fellow misanthrope. If you hate people, why do you want a relationship with one? I've been purposely single for what's nearly three years, and they've been the best ones of my life so far. Relationships take a lot of time & effort, you've got to decide whether its worth the benefits that are attached.

 

[CaptainLoserPants]

You know, I gotta be honest. The more and more society, human civilization, and the rest of the world go on...the worse things get. I accepted the fact that we're going backwards as a society, are becoming less and less intimate, caring, and overall human as a species and as a race. The 1990's attitude towards the open nature of sexuality, the less courtship and traditional aspects involved...we've devolved into a bunch of whores who believe their sole purpose is to spread their genetic material. It sickens me.

With that being said, the dating scale has tipped so drastically and in a direction that "some people", myself namely, just don't fucking know what to do anymore. It's been...roughly the span of about seven years since I have last dated. This could be the offset of several key indicators and the knowledge that I am either ridiculously judgemental of other human beings, or in the end, am just a very unorthodox, authoritarian minded individual with an outsider's perspective on a multitude of issues and problems.

Now, before we all jump on the bandwagon and feed each other a bunch of meaningless drivel, overstated facts, and exaggerations of the "alpha male" stereotype to "win and fuck the *****", allow me to just simply state that...I really don't even know what the hell I want. I refuse to go through with the embarrassment stage of life again, don't know the damned script to it all, and am quite possibly one of the most vehement, vindictive, wrathful fucking people on the face of the earth because of how things have gone sour for me in the past with this. Let me just say I was in the military, it was a bad time...and oh dear God did things not end well.

Now, just a few basic facts about myself:

- Basic, thin, runner's build.
- Not a 10 out of 10, not a 6 out of 10 either.
- I am not one who gives a shit about getting deeply involved with another until I feel they are of merit and worth.
- My basic problem is "talking" to people. I just...can't fucking stand people.
- The last part comes with a very simple flaw: Those I seemingly wish to date or have an interest in dating (upon physical appearance, minut interaction at a cash register generally) seem to be the one's which are "out of my league" in the sense that they mentally view as someone of a lower standing...however I have the mental, insightful, deep, and otherwise "intellectual" skillset, plus that "dark, brooding" outsider appearance. No. Not the threatening type. More along the lines of just...being a bit closed off to people.
- In the end, my entire opinions and worldviews are shaped by the hellish, grueling, empirical experiences I have had.

Now. Without changing a single thing about myself or my social nature, and just "adding" a few things...tell me videogame nerds of the internet, what the hell should a nearly 26 year old virgin do? I am very open to comments, criticisms, judgements...but let's be CONSTRUCTIVE about it. That is my one condition.

Go ahead.
Ready, aim, fire.

As a girl I can say this: you need to lighten up.
If you have such a hatred for people, and "can't fucking stand" them, then you will, well, of course, have trouble pairing up with another human being.

 

[Ilikemilkshake]

the best advice i can give is to calm the hell down your post seems rather rabid

 

[Semi-Human]

1) Stop being such a cynical ass. Its depressing. Girls, or just ppl in general, want to have fun. Complaining how humanity has gone to shit isn't fun. Also saying pll are acting like whores implies that the ppl your talking to, including the woman you like, are whores. Most woman don't like that. Not to mention its bullshit, while it might be true for some ppl it certainly isn't true for every one.

2) stop grading ppl. Your putting up unnecessary barriers, if some one likes you they like you period. Ppl are attracted to all sorts of ppl so you never know if you have a shot or not.


3) "- I am not one who gives a shit about getting deeply involved with another until I feel they are of merit and worth. " Yeah coz your such a wonderful guy, woman should just line up and prove there worth your time <.<. Are you f*cking serious? Ppl aren't here to impress any one else, if you want to know if some one is worth your time find out for your self. This isn't a one way street. Because get what. Most ppl aren't gonna be that interested in you either unless you give them a reason to.

4) "My basic problem is "talking" to people. I just...can't fucking stand people. "
Well then your fucked. Face it this is problem that lies with you not them. Maybe you need to talk to different kinds of ppl, but if its really just ppl in general.
Maybe you should just invest in a "real doll"

5) "dark and brooding" is just a fancy way of saying anti social ass. Yeah you don't have to me captain positive but don't think something like that is really gonna score you a lot of points. I know some popular fiction would have you believe other wise but realize that's just catering to frustrated fans.

6) "what the hell should a nearly 26 year old virgin do?" Well stop telling random ppl your a virgin might help. Seriously if some one loves you it won't be a issue.

7) "Those I .... "intellectual" skillset, " actually take the time to get to know them and show them these "skill sets" (and never refer to them as skill sets when referring to your ability to date some one, this isn't a rpg)

8) On a final note stop being so goddamn superficial. Seriously the only thing i'v heard you say about what you look at when approaching woman is there looks. Well if you act like a superficial douche that's what your mostly what your gonna find, and those few exceptions that you run across most likely aren't going to be interested in some one who's primary focus is looks

EDIT:
Also don't demand ppl be constructive when there is little to nothing constructive in your own attitude

 

[Lilani]

-snip-

I can't really tell from your post, but I'm guessing you aren't looking just to pick up women, but rather you want a relationship, yes? Possibly long-term? Well then, let me give you some womanly advice.

Out of college eh? Well I'd say, go to a club or something, a bar if you will. Don't come on to strong or to cheesy and if that doesn't work theres always those dating website.

Do not follow this guy's advice. The only women you will meet at clubs and bars are the kinds of women who like to hang out at clubs and bars. And given that you are a 26 year old virgin as you said, that probably isn't you.

My boyfriend and I met at an anime club run by some students at our university. It worked out great, because we already knew we had common interests. Then we both found out we liked video games, and it kept going from there.

However, here's the thing. We met last October, but we didn't start going out until late April. And we didn't even realize we really liked each other until about March. We started out as just friends, got to know each other on that comfortable level, and then moved up when we were ready. I think the strongest relationships I've seen start out as friendships. Guys always talk about the dreaded "friend zone," but that's just because they seem to keep "friends" and "relationships" on opposite ends of their brains. It his hard for them to accept that they are two sides of the same coin, and that it is possible for one to cause the other. Because they can't predict or control relationships blossoming from friendships, they avoid the whole concept altogether. If you can't be friends, then how are you supposed to work out as a couple?

But here's the thing: both of you have to be on board for the relationship to come out of the friendship. She has to discover she likes you just as much as you have to discover you like her. So just go and make some friends--and treat them like friends. Don't get so wrapped up in the idea of every possible female friend you know being "the one," because then you won't be able to enjoy any friendships normally.

Asking for a relationship on the first meeting just makes you come across as desperate and creepy, in my experience. Go for the friendship first, and if things are looking good proceed from there. And if nothing comes of it, then you still have a good friend. A good female friend to be exact--who could possibly in turn give you even more hints and introduce you to a few of her friends.

 

[sheah1]

Buddy. No one here has the courage to say this, but I will.

Women don't want to date you because you're an abusive misogynistic prick. When they were seven years younger, they didn't understand or see the signs... so they'd put up with your shit. Women in their late 20s, early 30s... they've grown up. They've dated pricks. They've lived with pricks. They've had long and horrible relationships with pricks. And they see you, and the first thing they're going to think is... 'Oh fuck. Another bitter, self-absorbed, judgemental prick.'

Your opening paragraph isn't describing your problem of feeling lonely... it's blaming society for it. It's not society's fault you immediately think that everyone is whoring around. Who the fuck wants to date anyone who's willing to date them, and then thinks they're a whore for saying yes?

You need a modicum of empathy.

With that being said, the dating scale has tipped so drastically and in a direction that "some people", myself namely, just don't fucking know what to do anymore.

Grow the fuck up. That's what you do. The problem isn't that 'things changed.' It's that you didn't bother to learn fuck all.

It's been...roughly the span of about seven years since I have last dated. This could be the offset of several key indicators and the knowledge that I am either ridiculously judgemental of other human beings, or in the end, am just a very unorthodox, authoritarian minded individual with an outsider's perspective on a multitude of issues and problems.

Your outsider's perspective is like watching a building with blacked out windows trying to tell others what he thinks is going on inside. You are clueless.

I really don't even know what the hell I want. I refuse to go through with the embarrassment stage of life again, don't know the damned script to it all, and am quite possibly one of the most vehement, vindictive, wrathful fucking people on the face of the earth because of how things have gone sour for me in the past with this.

Seek therapy. You're not even comfortable with yourself, and you have the potential to take this clear self-abuse you're imposing on yourself... and turning it on to your woman. That's not good, mate. Smart women... women who respect themselves... women you CLAIM to want to be with... can see through this shit and avoid it because they give a shit about themselves. They KNOW you'll hurt them and in a very bad way.

Seek. Help.

I just... I want to touch you? Is that... Is that bad?

 

[DracoSuave]

yeah i know what i said here

I just... I want to touch you? Is that... Is that bad?

That's what the hat is for.

 

[Dags90]

Greetings, fellow misanthrope. If you hate people, why do you want a relationship with one? I've been purposely single for what's nearly three years, and they've been the best ones of my life so far. Relationships take a lot of time & effort, you've got to decide whether its worth the benefits that are attached.

He probably doesn't actually want a relationship. My guess is he wants a fuck trophy he can show off, and stick it to regularly. A relationship is something he's willing to concede to for that privilege.

He should look for someone in need of a green card or browse one of the many "buy a bride" services.

 

[Galad]

Way I look at it, you either look good or die alone. So if you can fix the way you look, do so. If not, get used to your own company, cause it's the only company you'll ever have.

Had to correct that. Looks don't matter, and "picking up" women (no negative nuances attached to the expression) is a skill that can be learned by anyone, like a sport. If you want to get more/better advice, I'd recommend realsocialdynamics.com. Their stuff is excellent, even just the free newsletters.

 

[Duskwaith]

Find the most beautiful girl in the bar/club/hobby/workplace. Find something that makes her unattractive(like a slightly strange nose etc.) focus on that and just talk away.

Sounds kinda mean but its what I do as guys tend to freak out when it comes to beautiful women when in reality they are just flesh and blood like you or me.


Get a good aftershave aswell/maintain good hygiene at all times.

Good Hunting