So many men are whipped these days

[CrazyMofo]

I think it is quite sad that so many men are whipped to such an extent that they could pretty much be their girlfriend's pets. Only last night I invited my friend over for a night of Xbox and movies which he was quite happy to attend. He was bringing the games because he has quite a few multiplayer ones. 20 minutes later we get a call from him saying 'Oh my missus just called, she wants to come to mine to watch the tennis. Sorry guys I'm not coming.' WTF!!???!?!?!!

The problem is that this is not an isolated case either. Look at this forum for instance with all the 'Gaming or girlfriend' threads (those kind of prompted this).

I have another friend [this is a rather extreme case too] who will waste a concert ticket or a ticket to the footy (its the Aussie version of NFL if you will) by leaving half way through because his missus has a headache or she feels lonely. Not only the waste of money, but ditching one's mates for your missus having a headache or feeling lonely is pure BS. Tell your missus to take a panadol, eat some concrete, drink some water and harden the fuck up.

I have a few people I know [usually the ones that realise they are whipped] ask how they can be more like me. The answer is simple - treat your missus like you would your mates. Your mates would understand if you had prior plans with someone else instead of going to the game. As long as you don't constantly ignore one person or a group thereof all your mates will be happy. Spend time with them equally and you will have good mates. Apply the same principle with your missus. Sure if the shit hits the fan in her life, you would be more supportive of her and spend more time with her, but again this is something your mates will understand (she is your missus after all). For instance once I was playing tennis with my mates, when I got a call from my missus' boss telling me she was in hospital. I hopped in the car straight away and went to the hospital. My mates completely understood, in that case its a normal thing to do.

Now, at this point most of you are going to say "this guy is never going to have a girlfriend". I have been in a relationship for 2 years now with a girl who is not a gamer and doesn't like Star Wars. For the entire time I have practiced what I preach and my missus and I have been in a very happy relationship for that entire time.

Bottom line is you are whipped if you constantly put your missus before your friends. She is a part of your life, not the entirety of your life. This is the point that most guys struggle with and that is why so much of the male population is so so whipped. And it pisses me off!

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

I prefer the terms "supportive" and "empathetic."

Edit: ALso, this may be a bit of a shock to you, but being boyfriend and girlfriend, or boy/boy, or girl/girl, is a bit of a higher step than "buddies", and should be treated as such. If you treat your woman or man like you treat your buddies, then you may have a good friend, but probably not really any good the next step up.

 

[Erana]

Bottom line is you are whipped if you constantly put your missus before your friends. She is a part of your life, not the entirety of your life. This is the point that most guys struggle with and that is why so much of the male population is so so whipped. And it pisses me off!

Girlfriend: Noun, portmanteau of the words, "Girl" and "Friend."
1. Find a girl.
2. Become friends with her.
3. Propose a relationship between you and her in which you would add sexually-related intimacies to your current relationship.

I don't understand why you guys keep complaining about your girlfriend if you aren't actually friends with her.

 

[angelrubio]

This is true but furthermore, if you want anybody to stay with you, you have to show some love for yourself and put what you want (or think is important) before other less important things. Elsewhere you'll find people who just use you and in the end have no interest in you, (like a game in super easiest cheating mode) which will make feel bad about that person even if it's your fault.
Sad thing is people who put other's stupid shit before important things of their own: And funny it is how they do that in fear of loosing that someone and end up loosing him/her because of that.
Say no from time to time just to make sure you can

 

[ffxfriek]

i agree with the OP to a point.

 

[Erana]

And have you ever considered that your friend may enjoy spending time with her more than with you? I mean, he's calling her, "The missus."

 

[CrazyMofo]

Girlfriend: Noun, portmanteau of the words, "Girl" and "Friend."
1. Find a girl.
2. Become friends with her.
3. Propose a relationship between you and her in which you would add sexually-related intimacies to your current relationship.

Couldn't have put it better myself - thankyou. There is nothing more to having a missus than that really.

What about love then? Well think of the level of friendship you have with your 'best friend'. Love is one step above that.

And have you ever considered that your friend may enjoy spending time with her more than with you? I mean, he's calling her, "The missus."

I r teh confuzzled... Can you elaborate on that a bit, I don't quite understand what you mean.

 

[Erana]

Girlfriend: Noun, portmanteau of the words, "Girl" and "Friend."
1. Find a girl.
2. Become friends with her.
3. Propose a relationship between you and her in which you would add sexually-related intimacies to your current relationship.

Couldn't have put it better myself - thankyou. There is nothing more to having a missus than that really.

What about love then? Well think of the level of friendship you have with your 'best friend'. Love is one step above that.

Then how does someone have a girlfriend by that definition and still get, "Whipped?"

 

[CrazyMofo]

Then how does someone have a girlfriend by that definition and still get, "Whipped?"

Sorry in relation to my confusion earlier it has been cleared up, I understand what you are saying. "Missus" is my word for girlfriend. He doesn't say missus. The missus = my girlfriend in Crazy talk.

Well look at your best mate. Haven't you ever said no to your best mate because you had other plans. I sure as heck don't drop everything because my best mate suddenly decides he wants to do something together. With a missus (girlfriend) the step above 'best mate' is that there is more of an emotional connection. Does not preclude you from saying 'no' though. So, having a girlfriend by that definition does not make you whipped at all.

By 'whipped' (it might be an Australian term I don't know) I mean 'almost complete absence of free will once the missus says something'. It is however extended to neglecting your friends in order to be with your missus.

 

[Erana]

Sorry in relation to my confusion earlier it has been cleared up, I understand what you are saying. "Missus" is my word for girlfriend. He doesn't say missus. The missus = my girlfriend in Crazy talk.

Well look at your best mate. Haven't you ever said no to your best mate because you had other plans. I sure as heck don't drop everything because my best mate suddenly decides he wants to do something together. With a missus (girlfriend) the step above 'best mate' is that there is more of an emotional connection. Does not preclude you from saying 'no' though.

I wouldn't know, I don't do the, "Best friend" thing.
Sure, I have some people that I hang out with, some that I can use as confidantes, but the whole, "Deticate myself to one person" thing has never worked out. People are just too unreliable.
I had a boyfriend once, and I thought of him a step above a friend, but he thought of me as a step above a girlfriend.
I think I broke his heart... I've never gone and asked, but I don't really want to know.

 

[Labyrinth]

There is such a thing as a naturally submissive male. There is such a thing as a naturally dominant female. Relationships between the two can often lead to what you're calling a "Whipped" man.

However, I don't see the major problem. It is his choice whether he spends time with his girlfriend or with you. If you find such a flaw in it, talk to him about that. Ask yourself this first though. Would his girlfriend do the same to her friends if he asked that of her? It's an important question.

Now to the actual point.

As I said above, it's the people in the relationship's choice. No-one elses. If either particularly wants to submit to the other, that's up to them. It can work quite well both in the bedroom and out. Is it an epidemic? Nah, it's just a thing which happens in some relationships, just as you have others in which the woman is totally at the beck and call of her partner.

 

[Raven28256]

I prefer the terms "supportive" and "empathetic."

Edit: ALso, this may be a bit of a shock to you, but being boyfriend and girlfriend, or boy/boy, or girl/girl, is a bit of a higher step than "buddies", and should be treated as such. If you treat your woman or man like you treat your buddies, then you may have a good friend, but probably not really any good the next step up.

This.

Sorry dude, but he is right: Being a boyfriend/girlfriend IS a step way above buddies. You claim you have a girlfriend, but I'd be willing to bet that, with your attitude, the emphasis is very much on the "friend" part. If you expect to actually GO anywhere in a relationship then you must be prepared to sacrifice for her/him, even if it means you can't hang out with your buddies sometimes. Your buddies are just your close mates, your boyfriend/girlfriend is a person you share a much deeper relationship with, and any decent lover is there for his or her partner.

Don't hate your buddies for putting priority on the friend they are actually in an intimate relationship with. If you can't understand what they are going through then you clearly aren't in the very close relationship you claim to be in.

By the way, I'm pretty sure that Erana wasn't exactly agreeing with your point.

 

[smallharmlesskitten]

There is such a thing as a naturally submissive male. There is such a thing as a naturally dominant female. Relationships between the two can often lead to what you're calling a "Whipped" man.

Punniful

 

[Adam Jenson]

Yeah I despise those kind of couples

 

[willard3]

Dropping all your plans at the spur of the moment just because your GF gets whiny is basically whipped. When she starts seriously cutting into "man time" or "me time" to the point where it's practically nonexistent, you really do need to sit down and have a chat, because an overly clingy girl can spell trouble.

Yes the girl is extremely important, but you cannot be joined at the hip during all your free time...I know from experience, and it's not healthy. Plus if you alienate your other friends all the time, you have little backup if the shit ever hits the fan relationship-wise.

Now if this happened 75% of the time you guys hang out, it's a problem. Otherwise, you're just overreacting.

 

[GloatingSwine]

The answer is simple - treat your missus like you would your mates.

Except, of course, you won't get a shag off your mates. And if you don't keep the missus happy, you won't get a shag off her either.

Which is rather where the issue stems from.

 

[Erana]

Dropping all your plans at the spur of the moment just because your GF gets whiny is basically whipped. When she starts seriously cutting into "man time" or "me time" to the point where it's practically nonexistent, you really do need to sit down and have a chat, because an overly clingy girl can spell trouble.

Yes the girl is extremely important, but you cannot be joined at the hip during all your free time...I know from experience, and it's not healthy. Plus if you alienate your other friends all the time, you have little backup if the shit ever hits the fan relationship-wise.

Now if this happened 75% of the time you guys hang out, it's a problem. Otherwise, you're just overreacting.

But if it happened 75% of the time, I doubt they are a compatible pair.

 

[Dramatic Flare]

The answer is simple - treat your missus like you would your mates.

Except, of course, you won't get a shag off your mates. And if you don't keep the missus happy, you won't get a shag off her either.

Which is rather where the issue stems from.

Whenever any woman tries to use sex as a way to control me, I immediately leave. Usually just the situation, but at times the relationship.
I have not had a serious problem. When the ask me what I'm doing I tell them. They respect it, and stop trying.
It's almost paradoxical that I tend to get laid more when I stop caring about getting laid.

 

[Arntor]

I don't see the problem.

I find it kind of insulting that anyone would treat their significant others' as just "one of the mates". You might as well find a girl to bang once in a while.
Besides, it's their choice. If they consider their girlfriend to be more important, then leave them be.

Now, if the woman is taking control over every single aspect of his life and the boyfriend is clearly not enjoying it, then there's a problem. Otherwise, stay out of his business. If he genuinely cares for his girlfriend and you pressure him to hang out with the mates instead, it'll look like you're whipping him instead.