So, My Friend is Engaged... To a Psycho..

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

 

[Alon Shechter]

I refuse to stop hanging around horses because my life will never be at risk , ever.
Is that similar?

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

eh..... I meant long-term stupid. not spur of the moment "horse kicks my spine" thing.

 

[Queen Michael]

My mom married my dad. And then she wouldn't divorce him for fear that her kids wouldn't have a dad. Children Need A Father, she thought. Well, we needed that father like we needed AIDS. As in, not really.

 

[Daipire]

Yeah, I know a girl who's boyfriend tried to rape her.

It took 6 months before he broke up with her

 

[similar.squirrel]

I'm not entirely sure my parents made the best choice, staying together. But I think it has all worked out okay in the end, since they both have nice partners. And I appreciate what they do for us, despite some differences we may have.

I've seen a very good friend date a string of psychopathic and/or borderline retarded guys, so that wasn't nice. She's settled down now, so that's a weight off my shoulders.

 

[Macgyvercas]

God, that's horrible. In these cases, it's sort of like drug addiction. You've got to wait for them to come to the realization themselves, and then do all you can to help them. Be warned, that realization might never come.

Anyway, I have something similar, although not as extreme. My uncle is married to this horrible *****, who does everything to manipulate him, turn him against us, belittle us, and generally ruin our lives. We just avoid her though.

I have something similar to you, but far less extreme. My cousin married a guy who I can only desribe as an ass. He's not a particularly bad person, per se, but I think he enjoys starting arguements just because it's fun.

He also has an annoying habit of asking me "Team Edward or Team Jacob" when he knows damn well I hate Twilight.

 

[Darkwolf9]

I almost did that once. It all worked out that I didn't marry this crazy chick and her psycho family though, so all is well.

 

[Kurokami]

No Joke.
(Note: This isn't a relationship thread it's a story, so for all of those about to go "oh not again", bite your tongue.)

So one of my friends of 10 years has decided to get engaged to her boyfriend. Normally friends and family would be cheering and joy for the next step to tying the knot... except us.

Most of us, her friends, know he's a psychopath. He's hit her numerous times, has a very short anger fuse and we all know he's only holding onto her because she would be the only girl he could find. But the problem is she originally kept dating him out of fear and because she thought she wouldn't find anyone else.

Unfortunately, it's too late to do anything because we know she wont listen to us and all we can do is sit back until she actually realizes what she's getting herself into.

So, Escapists: Have you ever had a friend or family member do something as stupid as this?

Not a psychopath, technically. Not looking at this as an arse however I'd say that's interesting... What's her problem?

 

[Guffe]

Harassment is illegal where you live right? so this should be Police business since he's been hitting her? And besides, I'd like to throw a few punches at this guy, a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

 

[JRShield]

Harassment is illegal where you live right? so this should be Police business since he's been hitting her? And besides, I'd like to throw a few punches at this guy, a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

I know I'm taking a risk for saying this here, but SOME women do need a (soft) hit to make them come to their senses. I had a girl once who could go berserk and a soft slap in the face could make her come down to earth again.

 

[RanD00M]

a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

A REAL man doesn't hit anyone or anything.A REAL MAN can talk things over,be diplomatic,and generally stay calm when things around him start yelling.

OT:I have no real advice to give here.But an Intervention might help?
I know that you said that she doesn't listen to you,her friends.But an intervention could maybe,JUST maybe,make her see the light.
Although this is just a shot in the wind.

 

[Guffe]

a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

A REAL man doesn't hit anyone or anything.A REAL MAN can talk things over,be diplomatic,and generally stay calm when things around him start yelling.

OT:I have no real advice to give here.But an Intervention might help?
I know that you said that she doesn't listen to you,her friends.But an intervention could maybe,JUST maybe,make her see the light.
Although this is just a shot in the wind.

Thanks for fixing it, I am completely with you here, I have never been in a fight and I avoid them to the bitter end, but there are two things I would surely fight for, a woman harasser and if someone would be beating a family member of mine, especially my younger brother!!!
But you are so right on the never fighting part!!

 

[crudus]

I knew this couple who were really weird. She was promiscuous and would cheat on him constantly. Every time she was caught he would do something to her. After a while it turned into a game. They would both cheat on each other and get punished for it some how. I really don't want to go into detail since think about it makes me need a shower.

 

[Guffe]

Harassment is illegal where you live right? so this should be Police business since he's been hitting her? And besides, I'd like to throw a few punches at this guy, a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

I know I'm taking a risk for saying this here, but SOME women do need a (soft) hit to make them come to their senses. I had a girl once who could go berserk and a soft slap in the face could make her come down to earth again.

Isn't that self defense? ^^
Sorry about that, yeah but it isn't the same as the problem here, there are people who only calm down on a little physical touch but that's individual.

 

[SneakyBugger]

Had something similar with one of my friends, though they weren't on the path to marrige. We got suspicious when she showed up a with a few bruises here and there now and then.

What we did was gathered up everyone that cared about her. I mean REALLY cared, not just everyone she knew. Sat her down, talked to her, and she finally cracked, however bad that sounds. She told us everything, and she left the fucker.

Then he stalked her. And as wrong as it was, I snapped, and beat the living shit out of him. Never seen him again.

Point is, there's nothing at all to do, untill she realises what's going on there, and that it's bad for her. Once she realises that, that's the point where the friends step in, because she's gonna need alot of help.

 

[Danzaivar]

a REAL MAN does NOT hit a woman!!!!

That's sexist. You're a misogynist pig. Etc.

--

Thankfully everyone I know who gets engaged to a psychopath usually breaks it off with them around the time the wedding dates announced. You know, when they sit down and think 'Do I really want to spend the rest of my existence with this person?'.

Hopefully your friend will have the same clarity of thought before it's too late. =]

 

[Macgyvercas]

God, that's horrible. In these cases, it's sort of like drug addiction. You've got to wait for them to come to the realization themselves, and then do all you can to help them. Be warned, that realization might never come.

Anyway, I have something similar, although not as extreme. My uncle is married to this horrible *****, who does everything to manipulate him, turn him against us, belittle us, and generally ruin our lives. We just avoid her though.

I have something similar to you, but far less extreme. My cousin married a guy who I can only desribe as an ass. He's not a particularly bad person, per se, but I think he enjoys starting arguements just because it's fun. [1]

He also has an annoying habit of asking me "Team Edward or Team Jacob" when he knows damn well I hate Twilight. [2]

[1] I don't know if it's just me Then, but I really enjoy arguments. And most people I know enjoy arguing over things they like, or hate. It's human nature, if anything you are the weird one.

[2] Looks to me like he's just trying to be sociable, and you are being a douchebag about it. Honestly, grow up. It's obvious that the guy wants you to like him, and you are being an immature brat about it. And he probably got into the whole Twilight thing because he heard that "teenagers dig that". Perhaps he DOES like the Twilight books, but who gave you the right to judge him? Did it ever occur to you that he began saying that because he thought you, perhaps, liked it?

I say you don't even deserve a person trying for you, really, worthless person.

1) I enjoy arguements too. But he starts areguments when he knows that everyone else in the family doesn't like arguing with him because he is always such a jerk about it.

2) He knows I hate Twilight, and he asks me anyway for the sole purpose of getting on my nerves. I know that for a fact because he told me himself.

3) Personal attacks on other users of the forums are not tolerated on the Escapist. I won't report you this time, but please refrain from using them in future.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

There was this asshole guy I knew who was harassing this girl I used to be friends with. They were dating for a while, and they'd constantly break up and get back together, and he would frequently hit her. One time, he even got a knife onto her and threatened her not to tell anyone, in front of one of my friends... who told everyone. Naturally, nobody did anything, because he did it so fucking much.

I tried going out with this girl a while ago, but I gave up when she was being so stupid, until I eventually cut off all contact with her. The natural friend zone bullshit and her warped obsession with the guy who abused her made me get angry and cut off contact.