So my mom still thinks I'm gay... (A Follow-Up)

[DuctTapeJedi]

Yeah, I posted another thread a while back when my mom first tried to get me to come out of the closet, but there's been some 'developments.'

One of her friends came up to me and made me "promise to never marry a girl."

Has my mom been telling her friends I'm a lesbian? Seriously, how am I supposed to react to this?

EDIT: For the record, I am in fact straight. I see nothing wrong with being gay, but some one spreading lies about their own child is, well, sketchy...


Discussion: What's the most horrifying thing your parents ever told people about you, true or not? This could be a situation like mine, an embarrassing story about your childhood, anything.

 

[PunkyMcGee]

this isn't as bad as yours but, back in high school i was meeting some guys trying to get a band together (I play drums). and my dad mentioned i don't practice too often. true or not that's not something to say in front of potential band-mates. I never got in that band.

i don't hate my dad for it, but it wasn't cool.

 

[spartan1077]

Nothing. My parents have never embarrassed me like that. Although my friends have...but no one cares about that story ^-^

Can't believe your mom would go around telling people that...although I don't know your mom so ;3

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Why does she think you're gay?

Perhaps I'm missing something here but I'd imagine a simple 'nah Mum, I'm straight' would suffice.

 

[Snork Maiden]

My Mum thought I was gay for a while (well, she's not far off the mark I guess) - I spent *all* my time with my then best friend. She once said to me "I don't mind if you're gay [with him], but I'm not too comfortable with you sleeping together in my house." Unfortunately (and I don't think this was intentional) he was absolutely in ear shot at the time.

 

[MAUSZX]

Are you lesbian or not?
And yeah it's easy to understand if you get upset about that, because is something delicate and even if there are a lot of gay people is already strange have someone in your family.
And because of that your mom feel like she needs to tell that to someone of her own trust, so also it's normal.
Be honest with your mom, if you are lesbian tell her you're and that you want a little privacy with that. If your not well tell her.

 

[Veldel]

Nothing that I know of but she thinks I have somthing wrong with me becouse I hate most of the world

 

[Armored Prayer]

No. My parents never went of and talked about bad or embarrassing things about me behind my back to others. They only talk about the positives.

I fell sorry for you OP. You should talk to your mother about that.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

Why does she think you're gay?

To be fair, I do fit the stereotypical image of a lesbian. I'm involved in the construction trade, I never wear anything feminine, or do my hair or make up, and I've never had a boyfriend.
The only part that's missing is that whole thing about liking girls.

Can't believe your mom would go around telling people that...although I don't know your mom so ;3

She is absolutely, bat-crap insane.

 

[Crazy_Dude]

Thank god I am not in your situation. So far I know none of my friends had a similar situation like that either. But you could be giving the wrong signals to your mother. Like always wearing guy clothes spending *A LOT* of time with your best friend. Have you ever had a boyfriend?

Those things aside I think its horrible that your own mother would tell something like that to your girlfriends. Seriously even if you turned out to be gay you would like to tell your friends yourself and not let your mother backstab you like that. Even more so some friends may have wrong impressions of you that could totally be a blatant lie.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

One of her friends came up to me and made me "promise to never marry a girl."

Ignoring your mother for a moment, but... Wow. If her friend asked you to never marry a girl, regardless of sexuality, that's just absolutely disgusting and intolerant. She has no right to say anything like that.

As soon as she said it, I responded with "On that note-" and walked away. I didn't want the discussion to continue, as it was at a party and one of my sister's friends was there with her girlfriend. Yeah, that's just plain ignorance on her part.

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

snip

I'm actually straight, which just makes this whole situation more bizarre.

 

[Saviordd1]

When my ex went around telling everyone i was bisexual (which is in my school worse then being gay almost) Albeit it was true but still, not cool

 

[Varrdy]

One of her friends came up to me and made me "promise to never marry a girl."

First things first, tell this friend of your mother's to sod-off and mind her own business! She has no call or right to make anyone promise anything they don't want to. Wether or not you'd want to marry another girl is irrelevant - that was bang out of order!

As for the discussion, my mother used to tout me as some kind of computer "genius" (this is despite me failing my Software Engineering course at Uni) and, without asking me, told a relative I'd be happy to design a 3D model to help them with their studies. When I explained that I wouldn't have a clue where to start on such a project, the relative got pissy and said: "What kind of computer-whiz are you?" to which I replied: "I never said I was and whoever did lied to you!" - That shut both parties up pretty quick considering they were stood next to each other. Awkward silence, much!

The same relative once phoned my Dad to tell him she'd seen me smoking a cigar while out in town. Despite the fact that I was 21 at the time and free to smoke if I wanted (which I didn't), I got an almighty bollocking off my Dad until I pointed out that the "cigar" was in fact half a Pepperami that I'd briefly held between my teeth while I searched for my car keys. Despite producing the wrapper and passing a "breat-test" (my breath smelled meaty and not smokey), I didn't get an apology off either. Mind you, I did call the relative who'd dobbed me in and informed her (angrily) to mind her own bloody business and get her facts straight next time.

Pretty lame I know but I suppose that's a good thing in this case!

Wardy

 

[JourneyThroughHell]

Tell her you're gay.

It probably won't help the situation, but at least this is one way you could take a stance on the quite obvious homophobia going on there.

Otherwise, stern talking. No, I'm serious.

 

[e2density]

Get your girlfriend, bang 'er on your kitchen table when your mom comes home, show her you aren't gay.

On a second thought....don't do that.

 

[DefunctTheory]

If you want, you can photo shop some pictures of me making out with you and say we had a wild, weekend love making fest.

That should dispel the gay myth... but probably bring up some additional awkward questions. Your call.

Honest answer: Ignore her. She'll figure it out eventually.

Cool Answer: Come down to Texas. Then it wont be a lie. ;D

As to the other questions... my parents have never said anything embarrassing about me, though they've had to stop talking about me being in the military as of late. I made the mistake of telling them how things really work... not as sexy as the movies would have you believe.

Get your girlfriend, bang 'er on your kitchen table when your mom comes home, show her you aren't gay.

On a second thought....don't do that.

That... would show thats she's a lesbian.

 

[Unesh52]

One of her friends came up to me and made me "promise to never marry a girl."

Ignoring your mother for a moment, but... Wow. If her friend asked you to never marry a girl, regardless of sexuality, that's just absolutely disgusting and intolerant. She has no right to say anything like that.

This. Well, I wasn't going to say "disgusting and intolerant." I was entertaining the possibility that she was acting out of some kind of misguided concern for your social well-being, or maybe your mother's. That's just pitiable quasi-prejudice ("I have no problem with homosexuals -- just homosexuality"), not really evil. But either is certainly an acceptable interpretation.

The point is, you need to have a talk with your mom and find out how she feels about the whole thing. Explain that you're not, and if she accuses you of lying or being defensive, then remind her that if you are just trying to keep it a secret, then she should respect your privacy by not sharing such gossip with other people. (And, to a lesser extent, you may want to discuss with this friend what legitimate investment she has in whom you choose to marry.)