they claim its because men need to be turned on and that means they were ok with having sex which counts as consent. these people havent heard of morning wood and viagra, apparently.Shiny Koi said:
i hope that i'm wrong.
So, on a scale of 1-10, how bad is this?
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i hope that i'm wrong.
I've actually been there. Or close, at least. I had the hots for one of my friends back when I was, like, 15 or something and one day, while we were watching a movie she fell asleep and I kissed her. I'm not proud of it, but somehow I'd convinced myself that she would wake up and kiss me back if I just made the first (real) move. I can only guess at how hard it would be to control myself if I'd been drinking as heavily as your friend seems to have.
I don't know, maybe I'm just saying that being in love and not having said love returned makes people do stupid things - things they would not otherwise do. I'm not condoning what your friend did, of course, but I don't think he's a pervert. Rather I think that he has some issues with this one girl that he needs to resolve - perhaps with your and the girls help?
Also, in case you were wondering I told the girl because I felt bad about it, she got angry, gave me the silent treatment and we don't talk anymore so...
I don't know, maybe I'm just saying that being in love and not having said love returned makes people do stupid things - things they would not otherwise do. I'm not condoning what your friend did, of course, but I don't think he's a pervert. Rather I think that he has some issues with this one girl that he needs to resolve - perhaps with your and the girls help?
Also, in case you were wondering I told the girl because I felt bad about it, she got angry, gave me the silent treatment and we don't talk anymore so...
Well, you are between a rock and a stone golem's rectum.
1) You know his true colors. Him being drunk does not justify his actions.
2) That technically is sexual assault. There was no implied consent as far as you know. Both of them being drunk in this case is not going to save him.
3) He abused a friend's trust.
4) Calling him out about this was the right thing for you to do
You have a few decisions to make. You have to decide whether or not to tell her or keep things quiet. No one can make this decision for you.
If I were in the position you are, I would have no choice but to tell the girl. She deserves to know. I am no expert, I do not know the players in this scenario, but in my experience with people like this guy, his behavior will only escalate unless he is given a rude awakening.
I like flammingjimmy's advice to tell him to tell her. I he won't, then you tell her.
Just be careful if you decide to follow his advice.
1) You know his true colors. Him being drunk does not justify his actions.
2) That technically is sexual assault. There was no implied consent as far as you know. Both of them being drunk in this case is not going to save him.
3) He abused a friend's trust.
4) Calling him out about this was the right thing for you to do
You have a few decisions to make. You have to decide whether or not to tell her or keep things quiet. No one can make this decision for you.
If I were in the position you are, I would have no choice but to tell the girl. She deserves to know. I am no expert, I do not know the players in this scenario, but in my experience with people like this guy, his behavior will only escalate unless he is given a rude awakening.
I like flammingjimmy's advice to tell him to tell her. I he won't, then you tell her.
Just be careful if you decide to follow his advice.
Because when Shiny Koi says "virtually any jurisdiction" what she means is "Australia". In the US and UK this would be a sexual assault. In the UK rape is:TrilbyWill said:
1-(1) A person (A) commits an offence if?
(a) he intentionally penetrates the vagina, anus or mouth of another person (B) with his penis,
(b) B does not consent to the penetration, and
(c) A does not reasonably believe that B consents.
(2) Whether a belief is reasonable is to be determined having regard to all the circumstances, including any steps A has taken to ascertain whether B consents.
(3) Sections 75 and 76 apply to an offence under this section.
(4) A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable, on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for life.
I draw the line to intoxication. If she's drunk and I don't know for a fact that she'd want me to fondle her even when sober, I won't take advantage even if she asks for it. If we've dated long and been intimate together, then some groping between us both being drunk isn't so wrong.
But if she's passed out, there is to be no touching. At all. That is sick and wrong. There is no excuse for the kind of behavior that you described and frankly I'd feel obligated to either get him to a place where they can help him with his illness or take him behind the shack and put one between his eyes.
But if she's passed out, there is to be no touching. At all. That is sick and wrong. There is no excuse for the kind of behavior that you described and frankly I'd feel obligated to either get him to a place where they can help him with his illness or take him behind the shack and put one between his eyes.
If their both of their tits and it was something as simple a boob squeeze it wasn't that bad. He was drunk things like that happen, and its not like he intended to do it. Its just drunken nature and its nice that he didn't do anything worse. Also he told you about it so he knows hes done wrong I hope.ckriley said:
By doing this, he's crossing a line into dubious legality, say if the girl found out, he could easily be prosecuted for Sexual Harassment/Assault, but even without, it's completely immoral. If he had honored her boundaries- hangon. I'm sorry to suddenly shift focus, but how would this look had the gender roles been reversed? Would anyone ever consider that immoral?
I'm with you here. I saw "a few minutes" and well that has to be crossing the line.Truly-A-Lie said:
If for example he had put his hand on her breast once then pulled away, it would still be a bloody crap thing to do to a "firend", but it sounds more like a prolonged grope which makes him seem more than a little creepy.
I take it the guy doesn't have the balls to admit this to her and appologise? Kinda makes it even more creepy in my eyes.
I think its bad, probably a seven or eight, but not any worse than that. So long as genitals didn't come into play, it remains at about seven or eight.
Do not ask the internet for advice.
We can't do anything about it, and we can't tell you what to do about it.
Since you asked, however; I'd say talk to 1. your friend, 2. the girl, 3. the police, 4. a counselor.
In no particular order.
We can't do anything about it, and we can't tell you what to do about it.
Since you asked, however; I'd say talk to 1. your friend, 2. the girl, 3. the police, 4. a counselor.
In no particular order.
I'm sorry, dude, but that's not true. Not in the UK anyway. Here, rape is defined as the penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus by the perpetrator's penis. It is very specifically that, to the point that a woman cannot be convicted of rape.Shiny Koi said:
This is definitely sexual assault, however.