So, on a scale of 1-10, how bad is this?

[ckriley]

First of all, no this is not me I'm talking about here. Seriously. But I want your opinion on this because I don't feel right about it and got into a huge fight over it.

A buddy of mine went out dancing with his best friend last weekend. This best friend of his is a girl and they spend all their time together.

The other day we were hanging out and he tells me that that night they both got drunk and went back to her place, and while she was passed out drunk he "felt her up". I asked him what he meant. He said he just kind of groped her or whatever but not actual sex.

I was disgusted. And I am no prude. But this just kind of crossed the line to me. I told him he's not really her friend because a true friend would never do anything like that. I know he's always wanted more from this girl and they are super close. But that's why I was upset. Because she obviously trusts him, and then she passes out and he totally takes advantage of her. Again, according to him, he didn't actually do the deed and he said he only did it for a few minutes before crashing on the couch, but just the fact that he was doing stuff to her while she was out like that just seems wrong to me.

Am I overreacting?

 

[Mr.Pandah]

If she was legitimately knocked out, like, cold on the mattress because she passed out, I'd say that is crossing the line. At least he didn't rape her or something. That would be a sticky situation...

Edit: Yes, I know what I said and there is a reason I said it. Congrats on many of you catching my joke.

 

[JoJo]

You aren't over-reacting at-all, that's absolutely disgusting and one of the most disrespectful things I can imagine to do to a friend, not to mention illegal since she didn't give consent.

Edit: Being drunk isn't an excuse as some people below are making out, most people get drunk every now and again and the vast majority of them don't do sick stuff like this.

 

[Akytalusia]

if she was passed out, and he was aware of this, then it was over the line. your reaction is justified.

 

[Brutal Peanut]

I don't think you are overreacting either. He violated her and took advantage of her trust. I find it abhorrent.

 

[Truly-A-Lie]

A few minutes?!
That's not even give in to temptation "shit what I am doing?" that's "hm. Yes this is nice. Yes, very good indeed. What if I get caught? I should stop now."

Yeah that's wrong. And if the excuse is "I was drunk, I wasn't thinking straight" then the next question is - what the hell will he do next time he's not thinking straight?

 

[flamingjimmy]

That's pretty much sexual assault in my book. I'd tell him to tell the girl what he did and threaten to tell her myself if he didn't.

 

[ArcticAssault74]

your in the right, that guy sounds like bad friend in my book

 

[lord.jeff]

That's pretty much sexual assault in my book. I'd tell him to tell the girl what he did and threaten to tell her myself if he didn't.

That's not just in your book but also in mean and the laws, he can be prosecuted for that. And I'd still tell on him.

 

[Limecake]

I agree with you completely, I know if I had any friend tell me they felt up one of their friends while they were passed out drunk I would kick my friends butt up and down the block.

If he wants to sleep with her he should have told her that's what he wanted instead of taking advantage of her while she was asleep. This is sexual harassment and I think it's pretty weird that he would let himself go there.

On the other hand, I don't know these two and how often they hang out or whatever. Has he spent the night at her house before or was there drunken partying the first time he had gone over there? maybe things were getting psychical before she passed out and he was just continuing on (still not ok) but at least it would give better context to the situation.

TL;DR - your buddy is a perv.

 

[artanis_neravar]

I'm going to echo everyone else, your reaction was justified, if you had punched him out on the spot your reaction still would have been justified. Tell him that if he doesn't tell her you will. And even if he does say he told her you still do to make sure.

 

[ckriley]

I agree with you completely, I know if I had any friend tell me they felt up one of their friends while they were passed out drunk I would kick my friends butt up and down the block.

If he wants to sleep with her he should have told her that's what he wanted instead of taking advantage of her while she was asleep. This is sexual harassment and I think it's pretty weird that he would let himself go there.

On the other hand, I don't know these two and how often they hang out or whatever. Has he spent the night at her house before or was there drunken partying the first time he had gone over there? maybe things were getting psychical before she passed out and he was just continuing on (still not ok) but at least it would give better contact to the situation.

TL;DR - your buddy is a perv.

I don't even know if I want to call him a buddy anymore, to be honest. I do know they hang out all the time and he always sleeps over at her place. I have no clue what they are doing over there, but I'm pretty sure they've never hooked up because she doesn't like him that way. He does, but I know she doesn't.

I think the most they've ever done was massages because she's always saying he's the best masseuse around and has great hands or some crap like that. I don't know and I honestly don't care. To me all of that is irrelevant. He took advantage of her while she was unaware of it and passed out.

 

[fenrizz]

That is utterly disgusting!

If any of my friends did something like that I'd disown them in a heartbeat, and tell the girl obviously.
That is a line one does not cross!

 

[ShindoL Shill]

If she was legitimately knocked out, like, cold on the mattress because she passed out, I'd say that is crossing the line. At least he didn't rape her or something. That would be a sticky situation...

is it wrong i want to laugh at that last sentence, merely because of the context of sex?
but yeah, i would say maybe a 3 if she was just drunk because its uncomfortable and kind of taking advantage. but out cold is about an 8. at least it wasnt rape.

 

[ThatDaveDude1]

If she was legitimately knocked out, like, cold on the mattress because she passed out, I'd say that is crossing the line. At least he didn't rape her or something. That would be a sticky situation...

heh..."sticky."

OT: He's an asshole. He's completely in the wrong here. You're not overreacting in the least.

 

[AbstractStream]

On a scale from one to ten, this is an eleven. What he did really is messed up. Good for you for calling him out.

 

[PatSilverFox]

I'm looking for one post that says that it was the woman's fault.
I don't think that but maybe someone does >.>

 

[Bloedhoest]

Am I overreacting?

No. I probably punched him in the face.