So, on a scale of 1-10, how bad is this?

[StBishop]

I'd have punched him square in the jaw.

He molested her while she's passed out? It's sexual assault man. Not cool.

As I said, I'd have been just as disgusted as you, I'd have hit him told him he's filth and then told her what he'd done and stop hanging out with him.

 

[ilspooner]

No. You are not wrong. If that guy was my friend... well, he wouldn't be my friend any more. That is just completely disgusting, and you should disown him as a friend. And tell the girl, of course.

 

[Tselis]

Does she know? If not, she should be told.

 

[suxturdman]

Get that guy out of your life.. And tell the girl, she has to know..

couldn't agree more!

 

[Headsprouter]

I'm not scaling this, since that honestly seems a foolish and immature way to criticize this scenario.
But that aside, the influence of alchohol might be an excuse, but I still don't see how his basic morals were still present and honestly beleive, someone doing this while they're drunk may still have those kinds of pervy thoughts while sober.
But, if you do decide to tell the girl, she might just like him enough to forgive him, mostly because he was drunk and that might help her excuse his actions. But obviously it can go the other way, and by the sounds of things they had a beautiful friendship, one that sadly now, I think the guy actually doesn't really deserve.

 

[Torrasque]

Thats 8/10 wrong, this guy kind of sounds like a douche.

 

[Random berk]

I'd give it an eight. While what he did was all kinds of wrong, at least it didn't cause any negative impact to the girl. To call it anything higher I'd say she'd have to have been awake while he forced himself on her (so either full on raped her, or murdered her basically) for a 9 or 10.

She was sexually assaulted...how was there not any negative effect? Or are we setting the precedent that anything that happens to you while you're unconcious is fair game because you're not awake for it?

Like, say, if someone fondled your kid while they were asleep, all bets are off? They were asleep! No harm no foul!

Ok, tell me exactly how she has suffered. Did he physically injure her? Mentally scar her? What lasting effect has this incident had on her? Assuming he doesn't tell her, then she probably will feel violated and insecure. But if he just gets his ass kicked, and she is allowed to remain blissfully unaware, then how will this incident prevent her from lving a full and happy life?

 

[Random berk]

I'd give it an eight. While what he did was all kinds of wrong, at least it didn't cause any negative impact to the girl. To call it anything higher I'd say she'd have to have been awake while he forced himself on her (so either full on raped her, or murdered her basically) for a 9 or 10.

She was sexually assaulted...how was there not any negative effect? Or are we setting the precedent that anything that happens to you while you're unconcious is fair game because you're not awake for it?

Like, say, if someone fondled your kid while they were asleep, all bets are off? They were asleep! No harm no foul!

Ok, tell me exactly how she has suffered. Did he physically injure her? Mentally scar her? What lasting effect has this incident had on her? Assuming he doesn't tell her, then she would probably feel violated and insecure. But if he just gets his ass kicked, and she is allowed to remain blissfully unaware, then how will this incident prevent her from lving a full and happy life?

 

[Random berk]

I'd give it an eight. While what he did was all kinds of wrong, at least it didn't cause any negative impact to the girl. To call it anything higher I'd say she'd have to have been awake while he forced himself on her (so either full on raped her, or murdered her basically) for a 9 or 10.

She was sexually assaulted...how was there not any negative effect? Or are we setting the precedent that anything that happens to you while you're unconcious is fair game because you're not awake for it?

Like, say, if someone fondled your kid while they were asleep, all bets are off? They were asleep! No harm no foul!

Ok, tell me exactly how she has suffered. Did he physically injure her? Mentally scar her? What lasting effect has this incident had on her? Assuming he doesn't tell her, then she would probably feel violated and insecure. But if he just gets his ass kicked, and she is allowed to remain blissfully unaware, then how will this incident prevent her from lving a full and happy life?

Triple post? How did that happen?

 

[TheDarkestDerp]

Bad, yes. Over-reacted, no. Taking advantage of someone when they're drunk is bad. Doing it after they've passed out is even worse. Doing it to a "friend" is just sad. Sounds like the desperate act of somebody craving affection in a messed up way, and no, not a good friend. He's lucky if she doesn't press charges, as what he did does count as assault in most any state I know.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Get that guy out of your life.. And tell the girl, she has to know..

couldn't agree more!

The girl shouldn't have to know, it's unfair on her.

 

[Justice4L]

You are not overreacting. Seriously stop being friends with that creep.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

it kinda depends on what he touched too. Was it a boob grab? did he reach under her clothes?

 

[Henkie36]

First of all, no this is not me I'm talking about here. Seriously. But I want your opinion on this because I don't feel right about it and got into a huge fight over it.

A buddy of mine went out dancing with his best friend last weekend. This best friend of his is a girl and they spend all their time together.

The other day we were hanging out and he tells me that that night they both got drunk and went back to her place, and while she was passed out drunk he "felt her up". I asked him what he meant. He said he just kind of groped her or whatever but not actual sex.

I was disgusted. And I am no prude. But this just kind of crossed the line to me. I told him he's not really her friend because a true friend would never do anything like that. I know he's always wanted more from this girl and they are super close. But that's why I was upset. Because she obviously trusts him, and then she passes out and he totally takes advantage of her. Again, according to him, he didn't actually do the deed and he said he only did it for a few minutes before crashing on the couch, but just the fact that he was doing stuff to her while she was out like that just seems wrong to me.

Am I overreacting?

You are right. He defenitley takes advantage of her trust. When i go out with friends, I like the feeling that I can safely hand them my wallet and not get it back empty, when I get drunk They won't put video's of it on the web. He should be ashamed of himself. Drunk or not. Because obviously, he wasn't so drunk that he didn't know anymore what he was doing. He told you, didn't he? Fuck it, if she files charges of sexual assault, there isn't a whole lot he can do against it.

 

[Hosker]

Why on Earth did he tell you? It would have been much cleverer to keep it to himself.

 

[thevillageidiot13]

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 for being the guy who worked the gas chamber at the Auschwitz Concentration Camp and 1 being Mohandas Gandhi, I'd rate your "buddy" a 6.5 or a 7. Which is still pretty bad, mind you.

I know for a fact that if a male friend did that to a mutual female friend of ours, I'd kick his ass. Especially if he didn't express a certain degree of remorse for it.

 

[thevillageidiot13]

Get that guy out of your life.. And tell the girl, she has to know..

couldn't agree more!

The girl shouldn't have to know, it's unfair on her.

How is it unfair? If a friend of mine got me drunk and then groped me in my sleep, I'd want to know so I could kick his ass.

 

[s0p0g]

1 being "not at all" and 10 being "hang him higher!", i'd say this is a pretty solid 8
that's just a no-go.
BUT i think it is very important how he himslef reacts on what he did. if he's disgusted of himself, give him a chance and see if you can get him to "confess" to his bestie. and if said bestie doesnt want to talk to him anymore, and he's all down, be a good friend and cheer him up.
BUT if he thinks this was fun or okay or whatever, shove your shoes so far up his ass that he can lick them clean, and then see if there is some good opportunity to tell that girl what happened.

also do you happen to have a good relation to her? do you have a girlfriend? because if not it *might* appear like you were trying to be her hero so she might engage you or sth like that; if she was passed out, and it's only his word versus yours, it's all about credibility, or you'll end up as the bad guy.

good luck on getting this sorted out.

 

[Gimelbub]

You're not overreacting, but I think most of the other posters are. If I had to assign a number to it, I'd call it a 5. 6 if he sounded proud of it when he confessed. I think rating it any higher would be an insult to anyone who's actually been forced into intercourse.