So people think I'm gay...

[Worgen]

Somehow this seems appropriate for this topic Why yes, I can find ponies for anything, thanks for asking.

Anyway, there are a lot of little things that people pick up to make them think someone might be gay, way they walk, talk, etc etc. Most are probably wrong, but tv tells us them anyway so people notice them subconsciously at this point.

I'm going to guess its mostly a voice thing since that is the most noticeable thing to me. Something about the pitch. Still kinda weird that your boss would just assume like that, he must be pretty sure or he was drunk.

I haven't had anyone assume I'm gay but I have been hit on by guys. I always got the impression they were mostly hopeful but not assuming.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

Not being in a sexual relationship with a girl does not equal homosexuality. Logically speaking, assuming if one was gay and shy, wouldn't they have as much difficulty approaching the person of their desires as a straight and shy person?

Anyway OP: There's no point in conversing with those that assume you're gay because of how you present yourself and/or you're not balls-deep in a vaj on your off time. You're better off telling them to piss off as they continue with what can equate to slander (I say slander because they're trying to kick you out of the gene pool without getting their hands dirty by making you look bad in front of any future sexual prospects). But of course, words can only say so much before the need to stand up for yourself arises. If they try to maintain the status quo, an ass-kicking is in order, assuming you can take on your opposition.

 

[Something Amyss]

Yeah, immediately sprang to mind.

What is wrong with you people? Who cares if some people think you are gay?! Changing anything about yourself just so you don't appear "gay" is completely childish and absurd. How is this even a problem? If it's so important to you just tell them you aren't and that's that.

Yeah, why would you care about people making an assumption that would disqualify you in the minds of the sex you're attracted to? Who cares!

I'm bisexual, and even I can understand that.

 

[Something Amyss]

Somehow this seems appropriate for this topic Why yes, I can find ponies for anything, thanks for asking.

Isn't there pretty much speculation on ALL THE PONIES?

I don't watch the show, so I only really infer things from those interwebs thingies, but I think I've heard things about Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and the cowgirl at the very least. And that's a good chunk of the "mane" cast.

 

[Leemaster777]

I've had people ask if I was gay once or twice (Not counting that night I went to a bunch of gay bars. Long story.). Bugged the hell out of me when it happened, so I understand that feel.

Nowadays, I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality that it wouldn't bother me if they did.

But if this kind of thing is still bothering you, here's my fool-proof plan to stop it: If someone tells you that you're gay, have sex with their sister. And make sure they know about it. Boom, no more telling you that you're gay. Granted, they may beat your ass, but at least they're not calling you gay anymore, right?

(Disclaimer: Don't actually do this.)

 

[Worgen]

Somehow this seems appropriate for this topic Why yes, I can find ponies for anything, thanks for asking.

Isn't there pretty much speculation on ALL THE PONIES?

I don't watch the show, so I only really infer things from those interwebs thingies, but I think I've heard things about Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and the cowgirl at the very least. And that's a good chunk of the "mane" cast.

It's kind of to be expected from an all girl cast, I think the only reason Rarity escapes it for the most part, is that she has been shown to have an interest in guys.

 

[Lieju]

Unfortunately these kinds of steretypes of what a gay man or a straight man look and act like persist.

I have the problem that people assume I'm straight. My sexuality (a lesbian) is not a secret, but it's not really something that comes up in a conversation all that easily.

I've also been bullied for being in a straight relationship.
Since in high school my best friend was a guy and we always hanged out together, of course everyone assumed we were dating and having sex, and then I was bullied for all the imaginary sex-things and rumors...

I have also been told I'm not actually gay several times (or that I can be 'healed'), once by a nutter who was convinced that people who say they're gay just say that because they hate Jesus.

 

[LaoJim]

I was going to suggest that you start to make sure you drop hints as to your sexuality into the conversation. I'm not saying you should start to wolf-whistle at women in the street or make drunked passes at women in your office, but usually people will give off subtle hints. Things like if someone mentions how great their new girlfriend is just say something like "I wish I could find a girl like that". Once you start to get to know people, and have a feeling for what their reaction is likely to be, make a joke out of it, say "My old boss thought I was gay, can you believe that?"

But then I thought that it sounds like you are quite introverted and maybe not comfortable drawing attention to yourself in that way. You said that you spent a long time thinking about whether you were gay because you didn't want a relationship with women. It's funny that, while being gay is becoming more and more common, it's very difficult to come out and say "I'm asexual". Some people are just not that interested in sex, and that's ok too.

You say you are more interested in "romance". What do you mean by this? There are probably lots of girls who would like to meet someone without the constant pressure for sex. If you are hetrosexual and do eventually want to meet someone and fall in love, you are not helping yourself by appearing disinterested in women.

(Sorry quick edit to change "disinterested in sex" to "disinterested in women" which is closer to what I meant)

 

[bliebblob]

Oh yeah I've pretty much got the same problem. I just go "yeah um, buddy? I'm not gay..." and make an I-am-not-amused face. That usually clears things right up, and more often than not ends with whoever called me out apologizing.

However if he/she/they do(es) the thing where they claim to know your own sexuality better than you yourself (a.k.a. "Nuh-uh! I can totally tell!" or "You just haven't figured it out yourself yet!") a little sarcasm tends to do the trick. Something like this:

"Oh? Well, if you say so... Gosh I'd better be finding me a 'special' buddy then eh? How bout you/your boyfriend? No? Too forward you say? Sorry about that, I'm still pretty new at this whole gay thing you see... How bout you then? (Look at some other friend) Oh you're not gay? Drat. You sure though? 'Cause so was I until X over here enlightened me so maybe consult him/her first?"

You get the idea.

So basically:

1) If someone claims to know for a fact you're gay, and you call him/her out on it, he/she just emberassed the crap out of himself/herself in front of you, NOT the other way around. So act like it.

2) Claiming you still know better even after having been called out on the above blunder is downright arrogant. Respond to it as such.

That ofcourse still leaves the problem of some people assuming you're gay without ever actually talking about it. But does that even have any bad consequences? All I can think of is that homophobes will avoid you (ohnoes!) and woman won't make the first move on you, which they don't do anyway even with straight men they badly desire. (At least in my life that is.)

 

[rasputin0009]

My buddy gets this all the time so he overcompensates by having sex with every female that moves. Still doesn't help stop people from thinking he's gay. He dresses with more fashionable clothes, and says things like "I LOVE watching The Bachelorette!" and "Carly Rae Jepsen is my favorite!" (He says things with exclamation points because he's loud). And apparently his outgoing personality is what gets people to think he's gay, too.

Funny how you have to dress bad, not like any media that has anything to do with a woman (unless she's half-naked), and be very uncommunicative to be considered a heterosexual man.

I remember from high school how some guy always got upset whenever I wore a V-neck T-shirt. He got physically upset, as in, he would try and push me into lockers (he never succeeded because he was fat, and I was fast). Obviously, I would then tease him about his homophobia stemming from actual homosexuality. He didn't like hearing that because he was also very stupid. I also did Austin Powers impressions ("Do I make you horny, baby?") to make fun of him in front of everybody. And it's all because V-necks are the universal sign of homosexuality, right?

I guess I'd be considered gay, too if I didn't eye-fuck every girl ever (my bad, I know it's not polite, but I like girls because squishy). It was actually just a week ago when one of my friend's aunt exclaimed, "You're kinda femme-y, aren't you?". To which I replied with a smile, nod, and a "Juss a lilil bit" (I was drunk). And then I proceeded to hit on her.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

Perhaps an impassioned speech to your work colleagues on the reasons why you love boobs, ending it by saying you're leaving early today to go to a strip club and slapping a female co-worker on the behind on your way out would work? I mean if they still think you're gay after that then I just don't know anymore what a stereotypical straight should do.

Or more seriously, clearly state that you are not gay and tell those that still insist on calling you gay to fuck off. And certainly I would certainly insist on an apology from your boss as what he did by 'outing' you is not cool for a number of reasons. You shouldn't have to change how you act or dress just to appease other people's expectations of you.

 

[___________________]

Listen to Motörhead as loud as you can and you'll grow a beard so manly that no one will ever question your sexuality again.

But seriously, just keep doing whatever you like to do and sod all those wankers.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

No I've never had that happen to me, but then I'm kind of a social recluse and don't go to bars or anything like that. In fact I don't really interact with people much other than work (pathetic, I know). However I do imagine that would be quite infuriating, esp. when your boss announces to the entire room that he's ok with gay people, indicating you, when you're not gay. That would piss me off.

 

[lacktheknack]

Someone asked me if I was gay, I said no and asked "Why do you ask?"

He answered "Your name is pretty much the gayest thing ever."

Well then. I gotta say, I have a feeling that getting a girlfriend nipped a whooooole lot of questions in the bud.

 

[Verlander]

It's all totally dependent on where you are really. Sounds to me like you're in small town America. If you were in big city America, or Europe, people would assume difficulty. The reason isn't always hateful though, it's simply that when these people only have exposure to a small sample of people, with sexual "minorities" being a rarity, then they will project onto the closest person that they think fits the stereotype. When it comes to gay men it's usually worse, because it's still a difficult concept for many to grasp - there is no logical reason, in their minds, for a man to want to be with a man, and so they treat homosexuals illogically.

The way I see it, they've identified you as well dressed (stereotype check!), who isn't big on the straight dating scene, and who likes pursuits that are stereotypically feminine (or rather, non masculine).

What you should take away from this is that while they are ignorant, and are identifying based on stereotype, some of which is negative, they aren't being overly hostile towards you for it. That's a huge improvement in the last few decades, when being gay could earn you a terminal beating. They're wrong, but at least they're working towards being accepting. That's gotta be a win

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Next time some one tells you, you're gay.
Put on the gruffest man voice you have, punch them square in the mouth and then ride off on a motorcycle with a beautiful woman in one arm and an electric guitar in the other.

No one will question it again.

If that fails, or if you don't want to try that.
Just tell them you're not gay, if they don't believe you, why should you care? Haters gonna hate.

 

[Daverson]

You should ask yourself why other men seem to have a vested interest in you being gay.

Look, all I'm saying is, your boss may have been coming onto you, it's not often guys get a chance to fuck their way to the top, maybe you should take the opportunity?

 

[RickyChinese]

Pretty sure your sexual orientation is decided by who you want to have sex with rather than what you got called in high school.

Do you not date people you would like to have sex with? It's pretty fun and would from the sounds of things it would probably make your problem go away, so I guess that's a bonus.

 

[Guffe]

A guy that in real life has the "Chandler syndrome"

I can't really give any advice.
If someone asks, tell them no.
I hope people "judging" you won't be a problem and start you making feel insecure.
Just continue being yourself unless it's a problem for YOU I guess.

This has never happened to m, at least straight to my face, behind my back I don't know.
A friend of my moms thought I was a girl ones in my early teens when I had longer hair and still looked very child like but that was just an honest misconception.