So sick of the "friend zone".
- Thread starter Drake_Dercon
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You obviously weren't ready to have a relationship with this girl. Yeah, it's blunt. You valued her friendship over a romantic relationship, and you suffered the consequences of that.
You can't be half in, half out (disregarding friends with benefits). Either you want to get romantically involved, or you don't. I did the exact same thing as you, although mine ended with both of us hating each other's guts. I was so worried of losing her completely, that I never was up front about it. I was her friend for months until I finally told her how I felt, and we eventually got together. But it was doomed before it even started, because I was a friend to her before I was a boyfriend, and it became very apparent that she was interested in kid-with-the-douchebag-haircut. I tried to end it cleanly, with the hopes of remaining friends, yet it's never the same after you've both had feelings (Or I had feelings. I think to her, it was more a series of zeroes and ones feeding into the radioactive battery that was posing as a heart). We practically were at fist-a-cuffs before the end of it. Haven't talked to her in a year.
(Though I have to say, this thread it really making me want to reconnect with her, and work it out)
You really shouldn't be that worried about the "rebound". I know a couple that was the product of a rebound, and they're due to get married this summer (hell, I'm still half convinced that she only started dating the other guy to get back at the breakup-ee).
You can't be half in, half out (disregarding friends with benefits). Either you want to get romantically involved, or you don't. I did the exact same thing as you, although mine ended with both of us hating each other's guts. I was so worried of losing her completely, that I never was up front about it. I was her friend for months until I finally told her how I felt, and we eventually got together. But it was doomed before it even started, because I was a friend to her before I was a boyfriend, and it became very apparent that she was interested in kid-with-the-douchebag-haircut. I tried to end it cleanly, with the hopes of remaining friends, yet it's never the same after you've both had feelings (Or I had feelings. I think to her, it was more a series of zeroes and ones feeding into the radioactive battery that was posing as a heart). We practically were at fist-a-cuffs before the end of it. Haven't talked to her in a year.
(Though I have to say, this thread it really making me want to reconnect with her, and work it out)
You really shouldn't be that worried about the "rebound". I know a couple that was the product of a rebound, and they're due to get married this summer (hell, I'm still half convinced that she only started dating the other guy to get back at the breakup-ee).
I was in the friend zone once... until I did something completely insane. I came clean to the person that put me there (me).
I eventually got the girl I had pined over for years aside, and told her which side the bread was buttered on. It took a full night for her to figure out who had been there the whole time, right in front of her face. The man that every other man will be judged against, me.
The best advice I can give you... come clean. You already have nothing to lose. A 'friend' that would treat a friend like that, isn't a 'friend' at all. You've already lost that.
Captcha: Lose face
I had to lol at that.
I eventually got the girl I had pined over for years aside, and told her which side the bread was buttered on. It took a full night for her to figure out who had been there the whole time, right in front of her face. The man that every other man will be judged against, me.
The best advice I can give you... come clean. You already have nothing to lose. A 'friend' that would treat a friend like that, isn't a 'friend' at all. You've already lost that.
Best advice ever. What's the worst that could happen? She says 'no'?beniki said:
Captcha: Lose face
I had to lol at that.
Ok tough guy. Your avatar offends me with how dumb it is.Mortai Gravesend said:
Look, if you are the type of guy that believes the shit, it's because you are the exact guy I am talking about. Sorry, but it's true. You're that guy. Keep telling yourself that your little mantra about genuine friendship is true, I'm gonna go have sex with the prom queen.
You say
Dude,Mortai Gravesend said:
One look at your profile tells me all I need to know.
Knowing everything
Immortality
Crushing your hopes and dreams
Those are your hobbies and activities. Followed by of metaphysical bullshit about identity and power of self. And I'm the loser? Hah! Nice MSN name.
I LOVE what the internet has done for people like you. Words don't make it so. Get off your high horse on sexuality and worthiness. You're some pariah because you're waiting for the one true girl/guy that will respect you for you? Great. I will treat you the same way I treat all the Mormon virgins I come across. Get familiar with pre-nups.
You should probably find a real girlfriend and replace her. That way you end up happier because dealing with a girl who is insecure enough in herself to like a guy for the sole reason that he does not like her will only make your life more difficult.
I think at this point, it's best if we agree to disagree. We have gotten so far off the point of the original post it's dumb.Mortai Gravesend said:
Back on topic.
I feel the only way to avoid the friendzone is by not being "friend" material. I'm not arguing against being a friend, or friendly with your mate, but if you are trying to mate with a girl, don't be the super friend. That is just my experience talking.
Hoo boy! Totally missed the point. I was simply trying to say that being an asshole is not a good idea, especially if you genuinely aren't/ do not want to be one. And a "long term relationship" would be about a year plus, which is actually a pretty long time in the grand scheme of things.Monoochrom said:
.......no fucking wayBradeck said:
you shouldnt have to change your hobbies just for the prospect of romance..sure trying new things and having a variety of interests is good...but you shouldnt do things just for the sake of others
a girl you like doesnt like videogames? well fine...if she thinks their "stupid and for losers" then I don't know...mabye show her otherwise? she may learn somthing new..or even gain a new interest
or just tell her to go away
because people like that arnt worth your godamn time...not in this life
Dude! Never scare me like that again!Drake_Dercon said:
What 30 words into the text and after "some backstory" you give me "about nine months ago...", almost had a heartattack!!!
(sory just had to -.-)
On Topic
You pretty much have to tell her how you feel about it.
Easy for me to say over the internet but it's either that or trying to find another girl.
exactally..somone that closed mined probably isnt the kind of person you want to go out with (then again, its best not to judge people too harshly)Mortai Gravesend said:
also
are you like...still in highschool? because judging by your other comments that would explain alot...Bradeck said:
well...I think once you leave school the age difference is less of an issue..of coarse some of it does depend on where you are in life at the timeMortai Gravesend said:
also the phrase "having sex with the prom queen" actually sounds kind of creepy to me (in that "age difference" kind of way)..amd Im only 20
I think its because I now see highschoolers as kids