So sick of the "friend zone".

[Thaluikhain]

Did the possibility ever cross your mind that not being ugly, smelly, weird, nerdy, stupid, uncool or whatever is not enough to get a girlfriend? He could be none of those things and she could still have a reason to prefer to be friends instead of dating. Your statement offends me with how stupid it is. Maybe they just don't find your personality to be the kind they're looking for in a boyfriend. It doesn't have to be that they think you're awful in some manner, though it's possible, it can be that they're fine being friends with you but simply do not find themselves liking you in a manner that is necessary for a romantic relationship.

Exactly.

Women aren't obliged to automatically fancy everyone who ticks the boxes. The universe is not obliged to furnish you with a girlfriend because you don't happen to be stupid/whatever.

 

[Realitycrash]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

Because there's only one form of "Nice guy" and it never pull in the ass. Seriously, don't take Sane's advice. Be yourself and the people compatible to your personality will soon come.

"Be yourself", Heh. Ah yes, the mommy-answer to "why don't that nice guy/girl like me?".
"He/She just doesn't understand you! Be yourself and find someone that likes you for you!".

Ever figured that there might just be something wrong with who you are, and maybe change is a GOOD THING?
I could never accept the "be yourself"-talk.
If you want someone, be what they want you to be, if you find that it is an acceptable loss to give up part of what you are to get to be with someone you love.
It's a balance thing.
If you go with "be yourself", you might be true to "yourself", but you might just miss out on true love, or actually never get any love at all, simply because you refuse to comprimise.

And at what point do you reveal your true self because putting on a facade for someone everyday sounds really tiring. In other words you don't get true love if it's not you that's loved.

NEVER? The point is that you shuld be willing to compromise and CHANGE. Not stick to your "I'm good enough as I am and If she/he doesn't like me, sucks to be them. I'll just wait for the 'right one'"
Well, yes, you CAN wait for someone that is just so, so perfect and matches you..Or you can actually try to change a bit and realize that "Hey, I can be me, and myself, even if I do a few things differently!".

The term be yourself as I know it doesn't refer to stagnating your character growth but to not lying about who are, over selling yourself and lying about your interests in order to impress. But I still don't like the way your using it, it gets in to the idea of love them for what they could be(could be's rarely come to be) instead of what they are, which I still consider a bad idea. I have nothing against growing and maturing, in fact I support it and you should have a lover that supports and encourages that growth but would still love you in the moment.

If you equate "Be yourself" with "don't lie", then yes, I can accept one should "be oneself". That's a rather weak and bland piece of advice for someone trying to find love (or get laid), though.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "loving them for what they could be". You'd have to be more detailed.
Here's a more detailed position of my point:

Guy A: Gee, I really like that girl over there. She's pretty and funny and doesn't seem to be a total idiot like the rest of the people at this school/bar/workplace/whatever.
Guy B: Ask her out?
Guy A: Eh, we share some interests, but I doubt it is enough. Besides, I'm fat/ugly/boring.
Guy B: Why don't you get a new haircut she will like/work out and lose weight/try out those interests that she likes, maybe you'll like them?
Guy A: I'm not sure that's "me", though.
Guy B: Is what you are equal to your looks, or what you do on you spare time?
Guy A: Well, yeah. Sort of. It is part of it, anyway.
Guy B: Fair enough. Let's put it like this: What is the point of you doing these X things on you spare time? Is it not fair to say it is because you enjoy them?
Guy A: Sure, I guess so. I do like my videogames/comicbooks/mountainbiking/stampcollection/sports/whatever
Guy B: But you also feel that you would enjoy being with this girl, yes?
Guy A: Of course!
Guy B: Andd you feel that if, though getting new interests and maybe a new look will take time away from these interests, even though the new ones might, if you fancy them, garner enjoyment as well. You also feel that giving up what you "are" for someone else is akin to somewhat selling your soul?
Guy A: Okey, maybe not "selling my soul", but yeah, it just feels..Dumb, you know?
Guy B: Fine, fine. So then you do the math.
Guy A: Huh?
Guy B: "The parts that I am giving up about myself is worth X amount of enjoyment to me, but changing parts of me, which increases the likelyhood of that girl over there liking me by Y (Y here being how much of you that you change) is worth Z amount of enjoyment. I also feel that it is rather silly to change based upon getting a partner, so I also lose a solid chuck of enjoyment E from doing so.". So, if you feel you will gain more enjoyment by being with that girl and making a few changes, than staying "true" to yourself, then go for it. This is of course not not counting the fact that you might enjoy the "new" you, with your new interests and looks. Besides, noone said you would have to quit all your old interests.
Or you can stay the same, and wait for a girl that likes you just the way you are. Really up to you, mate. Life is a gamble, afterall.
Guy A: Huh. I guess I'll think about that.

(For the record, let's assume that the girl in fact does NOT fancy Guy A and has more or elss "friendzoned" him in his current apperance)

 

[Hugga_Bear]

The friendzone doesn't exist, 99% of the time it's a girl shooting you down. In that case get the fuck over it. You have a choice to either walk away or be a friend and if you actually like the girl then be a fucking man about it and just be friends. What you think the girls like being rejected?
It's not 'friendzoning' because you're just too nice, it's staying friends because they don't want to go out with you.

As for changing who you are, well what's wrong with that? Don't conform for the sake of it, never change everything just because "it's cool" but do think about it. What's wrong with checking sport out a little? Or going for a drink to see if you like it? Or checking out clubs and so on.

I game, I play DnD and I'm even starting to read some comics now, I'm a nerd. I also play rugby, I row, I go clubbing and you know when I introduce myself to a girl I don't list off everything, I just talk and I'm honest and if she is so far up her own arse that the prospect of me being even a little nerdy throws her off then okay, no dice. Thing is I haven't met a girl like that yet, they might not like the nerdiness but that's fine because I do. I like playing DnD, I like videogames. Doesn't define me and it shouldn't define you. Branch out, see the world, think about what they might see that you don't. Don't be afraid of change, never be afraid of change, change is great if it comes from you. Experience the world, then choose.

 

[Thaluikhain]

It's not 'friendzoning' because you're just too nice, it's staying friends because they don't want to go out with you.

That needs to be written in big red letters and copied and pasted every time this comes up.

 

[lord.jeff]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

Because there's only one form of "Nice guy" and it never pull in the ass. Seriously, don't take Sane's advice. Be yourself and the people compatible to your personality will soon come.

"Be yourself", Heh. Ah yes, the mommy-answer to "why don't that nice guy/girl like me?".
"He/She just doesn't understand you! Be yourself and find someone that likes you for you!".

Ever figured that there might just be something wrong with who you are, and maybe change is a GOOD THING?
I could never accept the "be yourself"-talk.
If you want someone, be what they want you to be, if you find that it is an acceptable loss to give up part of what you are to get to be with someone you love.
It's a balance thing.
If you go with "be yourself", you might be true to "yourself", but you might just miss out on true love, or actually never get any love at all, simply because you refuse to comprimise.

And at what point do you reveal your true self because putting on a facade for someone everyday sounds really tiring. In other words you don't get true love if it's not you that's loved.

NEVER? The point is that you shuld be willing to compromise and CHANGE. Not stick to your "I'm good enough as I am and If she/he doesn't like me, sucks to be them. I'll just wait for the 'right one'"
Well, yes, you CAN wait for someone that is just so, so perfect and matches you..Or you can actually try to change a bit and realize that "Hey, I can be me, and myself, even if I do a few things differently!".

The term be yourself as I know it doesn't refer to stagnating your character growth but to not lying about who are, over selling yourself and lying about your interests in order to impress. But I still don't like the way your using it, it gets in to the idea of love them for what they could be(could be's rarely come to be) instead of what they are, which I still consider a bad idea. I have nothing against growing and maturing, in fact I support it and you should have a lover that supports and encourages that growth but would still love you in the moment.

If you equate "Be yourself" with "don't lie", then yes, I can accept one should "be oneself". That's a rather weak and bland piece of advice for someone trying to find love (or get laid), though.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "loving them for what they could be". You'd have to be more detailed.
Here's a more detailed position of my point:

Guy A: Gee, I really like that girl over there. She's pretty and funny and doesn't seem to be a total idiot like the rest of the people at this school/bar/workplace/whatever.
Guy B: Ask her out?
Guy A: Eh, we share some interests, but I doubt it is enough. Besides, I'm fat/ugly/boring.
Guy B: Why don't you get a new haircut she will like/work out and lose weight/try out those interests that she likes, maybe you'll like them?
Guy A: I'm not sure that's "me", though.
Guy B: Is what you are equal to your looks, or what you do on you spare time?
Guy A: Well, yeah. Sort of. It is part of it, anyway.
Guy B: Fair enough. Let's put it like this: What is the point of you doing these X things on you spare time? Is it not fair to say it is because you enjoy them?
Guy A: Sure, I guess so. I do like my videogames/comicbooks/mountainbiking/stampcollection/sports/whatever
Guy B: But you also feel that you would enjoy being with this girl, yes?
Guy A: Of course!
Guy B: Andd you feel that if, though getting new interests and maybe a new look will take time away from these interests, even though the new ones might, if you fancy them, garner enjoyment as well. You also feel that giving up what you "are" for someone else is akin to somewhat selling your soul?
Guy A: Okey, maybe not "selling my soul", but yeah, it just feels..Dumb, you know?
Guy B: Fine, fine. So then you do the math.
Guy A: Huh?
Guy B: "The parts that I am giving up about myself is worth X amount of enjoyment to me, but changing parts of me, which increases the likelyhood of that girl over there liking me by Y (Y here being how much of you that you change) is worth Z amount of enjoyment. I also feel that it is rather silly to change based upon getting a partner, so I also lose a solid chuck of enjoyment E from doing so.". So, if you feel you will gain more enjoyment by being with that girl and making a few changes, than staying "true" to yourself, then go for it. This is of course not not counting the fact that you might enjoy the "new" you, with your new interests and looks. Besides, noone said you would have to quit all your old interests.
Or you can stay the same, and wait for a girl that likes you just the way you are. Really up to you, mate. Life is a gamble, afterall.
Guy A: Huh. I guess I'll think about that.

(For the record, let's assume that the girl in fact does NOT fancy Guy A and has more or elss "friendzoned" him in his current apperance)

So your gonna take the time and effort to please a girl that has show no interest in you, that sounds like a waste of time. Being with someone that is forcing me into giving up something that's making me happy, just doesn't sound like it would work, I can't imagine being happy with someone if it meant giving up video games/martial arts/movies, whether it's self imposed or not, it sounds terrible. I'd rather be able to say I'm doing what I like to do, not what someone else wants me to do.

 

[TheEdgeofDespair]

Speaking as someone who has fallen into this particular trap four successive times and been inevitably left by the wayside each time, my only advice is to tell her what you feel and ask her if she still reciprocates. Regardless of whether or not you have expressed your interest before, let her know specifically how the situation is bothering you now. If you wait too long, you will lose your chance, and it will hurt all the more.

 

[Realitycrash]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

Because there's only one form of "Nice guy" and it never pull in the ass. Seriously, don't take Sane's advice. Be yourself and the people compatible to your personality will soon come.

"Be yourself", Heh. Ah yes, the mommy-answer to "why don't that nice guy/girl like me?".
"He/She just doesn't understand you! Be yourself and find someone that likes you for you!".

Ever figured that there might just be something wrong with who you are, and maybe change is a GOOD THING?
I could never accept the "be yourself"-talk.
If you want someone, be what they want you to be, if you find that it is an acceptable loss to give up part of what you are to get to be with someone you love.
It's a balance thing.
If you go with "be yourself", you might be true to "yourself", but you might just miss out on true love, or actually never get any love at all, simply because you refuse to comprimise.

And at what point do you reveal your true self because putting on a facade for someone everyday sounds really tiring. In other words you don't get true love if it's not you that's loved.

NEVER? The point is that you shuld be willing to compromise and CHANGE. Not stick to your "I'm good enough as I am and If she/he doesn't like me, sucks to be them. I'll just wait for the 'right one'"
Well, yes, you CAN wait for someone that is just so, so perfect and matches you..Or you can actually try to change a bit and realize that "Hey, I can be me, and myself, even if I do a few things differently!".

The term be yourself as I know it doesn't refer to stagnating your character growth but to not lying about who are, over selling yourself and lying about your interests in order to impress. But I still don't like the way your using it, it gets in to the idea of love them for what they could be(could be's rarely come to be) instead of what they are, which I still consider a bad idea. I have nothing against growing and maturing, in fact I support it and you should have a lover that supports and encourages that growth but would still love you in the moment.

If you equate "Be yourself" with "don't lie", then yes, I can accept one should "be oneself". That's a rather weak and bland piece of advice for someone trying to find love (or get laid), though.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "loving them for what they could be". You'd have to be more detailed.
Here's a more detailed position of my point:

Guy A: Gee, I really like that girl over there. She's pretty and funny and doesn't seem to be a total idiot like the rest of the people at this school/bar/workplace/whatever.
Guy B: Ask her out?
Guy A: Eh, we share some interests, but I doubt it is enough. Besides, I'm fat/ugly/boring.
Guy B: Why don't you get a new haircut she will like/work out and lose weight/try out those interests that she likes, maybe you'll like them?
Guy A: I'm not sure that's "me", though.
Guy B: Is what you are equal to your looks, or what you do on you spare time?
Guy A: Well, yeah. Sort of. It is part of it, anyway.
Guy B: Fair enough. Let's put it like this: What is the point of you doing these X things on you spare time? Is it not fair to say it is because you enjoy them?
Guy A: Sure, I guess so. I do like my videogames/comicbooks/mountainbiking/stampcollection/sports/whatever
Guy B: But you also feel that you would enjoy being with this girl, yes?
Guy A: Of course!
Guy B: Andd you feel that if, though getting new interests and maybe a new look will take time away from these interests, even though the new ones might, if you fancy them, garner enjoyment as well. You also feel that giving up what you "are" for someone else is akin to somewhat selling your soul?
Guy A: Okey, maybe not "selling my soul", but yeah, it just feels..Dumb, you know?
Guy B: Fine, fine. So then you do the math.
Guy A: Huh?
Guy B: "The parts that I am giving up about myself is worth X amount of enjoyment to me, but changing parts of me, which increases the likelyhood of that girl over there liking me by Y (Y here being how much of you that you change) is worth Z amount of enjoyment. I also feel that it is rather silly to change based upon getting a partner, so I also lose a solid chuck of enjoyment E from doing so.". So, if you feel you will gain more enjoyment by being with that girl and making a few changes, than staying "true" to yourself, then go for it. This is of course not not counting the fact that you might enjoy the "new" you, with your new interests and looks. Besides, noone said you would have to quit all your old interests.
Or you can stay the same, and wait for a girl that likes you just the way you are. Really up to you, mate. Life is a gamble, afterall.
Guy A: Huh. I guess I'll think about that.

(For the record, let's assume that the girl in fact does NOT fancy Guy A and has more or elss "friendzoned" him in his current apperance)

So your gonna take the time and effort to please a girl that has show no interest in you, that sounds like a waste of time. Being with someone that is forcing me into giving up something that's making me happy, just doesn't sound like it would work, I can't imagine being happy with someone if it meant giving up video games/martial arts/movies, whether it's self imposed or not, it sounds terrible. I'd rather be able to say I'm doing what I like to do, not what someone else wants me to do.

Yes, it DOES sound like a waste of time, but it all depends on how badly you want this girl. If getting the girl would make you more happy than X hours spent on videogames each day, then it wouldn't be giving up someonething that makes you happy, it would be gaining something that makes you happy. Do the math.
And if you feel that you can't imagine having to give up a part of your time (videogames/martial arts/movies) to be with someone else, for their sake (remember, I never said you had to give it up completely), then I am not sure you really grasp the concept of love.

 

[albinoterrorist]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

EDIT: I mean don't be a doormat. Please stop quoting me about it.

AH!
ONCE AGAIN, VILLAINY REARS ITS UGLY HEAD!
NO MATTER, WE SHALL QUICKLY DECAPITATE IT!
WHITEKNIGHTS!
ASSEMBLE!

Spoiler

Huehuehue.
Seriously, though, you dun' goofed.
Second post can be misconstrued as misogynistic?
Endless tween rage.

 

[Sleipnir]

http://youtu.be/NSG97zCOlyo <---- Exiting the Friendzone

 

[lord.jeff]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

Because there's only one form of "Nice guy" and it never pull in the ass. Seriously, don't take Sane's advice. Be yourself and the people compatible to your personality will soon come.

"Be yourself", Heh. Ah yes, the mommy-answer to "why don't that nice guy/girl like me?".
"He/She just doesn't understand you! Be yourself and find someone that likes you for you!".

Ever figured that there might just be something wrong with who you are, and maybe change is a GOOD THING?
I could never accept the "be yourself"-talk.
If you want someone, be what they want you to be, if you find that it is an acceptable loss to give up part of what you are to get to be with someone you love.
It's a balance thing.
If you go with "be yourself", you might be true to "yourself", but you might just miss out on true love, or actually never get any love at all, simply because you refuse to comprimise.

And at what point do you reveal your true self because putting on a facade for someone everyday sounds really tiring. In other words you don't get true love if it's not you that's loved.

NEVER? The point is that you shuld be willing to compromise and CHANGE. Not stick to your "I'm good enough as I am and If she/he doesn't like me, sucks to be them. I'll just wait for the 'right one'"
Well, yes, you CAN wait for someone that is just so, so perfect and matches you..Or you can actually try to change a bit and realize that "Hey, I can be me, and myself, even if I do a few things differently!".

The term be yourself as I know it doesn't refer to stagnating your character growth but to not lying about who are, over selling yourself and lying about your interests in order to impress. But I still don't like the way your using it, it gets in to the idea of love them for what they could be(could be's rarely come to be) instead of what they are, which I still consider a bad idea. I have nothing against growing and maturing, in fact I support it and you should have a lover that supports and encourages that growth but would still love you in the moment.

If you equate "Be yourself" with "don't lie", then yes, I can accept one should "be oneself". That's a rather weak and bland piece of advice for someone trying to find love (or get laid), though.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "loving them for what they could be". You'd have to be more detailed.
Here's a more detailed position of my point:

Guy A: Gee, I really like that girl over there. She's pretty and funny and doesn't seem to be a total idiot like the rest of the people at this school/bar/workplace/whatever.
Guy B: Ask her out?
Guy A: Eh, we share some interests, but I doubt it is enough. Besides, I'm fat/ugly/boring.
Guy B: Why don't you get a new haircut she will like/work out and lose weight/try out those interests that she likes, maybe you'll like them?
Guy A: I'm not sure that's "me", though.
Guy B: Is what you are equal to your looks, or what you do on you spare time?
Guy A: Well, yeah. Sort of. It is part of it, anyway.
Guy B: Fair enough. Let's put it like this: What is the point of you doing these X things on you spare time? Is it not fair to say it is because you enjoy them?
Guy A: Sure, I guess so. I do like my videogames/comicbooks/mountainbiking/stampcollection/sports/whatever
Guy B: But you also feel that you would enjoy being with this girl, yes?
Guy A: Of course!
Guy B: Andd you feel that if, though getting new interests and maybe a new look will take time away from these interests, even though the new ones might, if you fancy them, garner enjoyment as well. You also feel that giving up what you "are" for someone else is akin to somewhat selling your soul?
Guy A: Okey, maybe not "selling my soul", but yeah, it just feels..Dumb, you know?
Guy B: Fine, fine. So then you do the math.
Guy A: Huh?
Guy B: "The parts that I am giving up about myself is worth X amount of enjoyment to me, but changing parts of me, which increases the likelyhood of that girl over there liking me by Y (Y here being how much of you that you change) is worth Z amount of enjoyment. I also feel that it is rather silly to change based upon getting a partner, so I also lose a solid chuck of enjoyment E from doing so.". So, if you feel you will gain more enjoyment by being with that girl and making a few changes, than staying "true" to yourself, then go for it. This is of course not not counting the fact that you might enjoy the "new" you, with your new interests and looks. Besides, noone said you would have to quit all your old interests.
Or you can stay the same, and wait for a girl that likes you just the way you are. Really up to you, mate. Life is a gamble, afterall.
Guy A: Huh. I guess I'll think about that.

(For the record, let's assume that the girl in fact does NOT fancy Guy A and has more or elss "friendzoned" him in his current apperance)

So your gonna take the time and effort to please a girl that has show no interest in you, that sounds like a waste of time. Being with someone that is forcing me into giving up something that's making me happy, just doesn't sound like it would work, I can't imagine being happy with someone if it meant giving up video games/martial arts/movies, whether it's self imposed or not, it sounds terrible. I'd rather be able to say I'm doing what I like to do, not what someone else wants me to do.

Yes, it DOES sound like a waste of time, but it all depends on how badly you want this girl. If getting the girl would make you more happy than X hours spent on videogames each day, then it wouldn't be giving up someonething that makes you happy, it would be gaining something that makes you happy. Do the math.
And if you feel that you can't imagine having to give up a part of your time (videogames/martial arts/movies) to be with someone else, for their sake (remember, I never said you had to give it up completely), then I am not sure you really grasp the concept of love.

That's still being true to yourself, because you want to be with that girl therefore your not being untrue to yourself, when you'd rather play video games then be with the girl on a regular basis and choose not to that's when you fail to be true to yourself.

 

[Realitycrash]

Be a scumbag.

No I'm serious. If you always play it nice, you'll end up screwed over.

Because there's only one form of "Nice guy" and it never pull in the ass. Seriously, don't take Sane's advice. Be yourself and the people compatible to your personality will soon come.

"Be yourself", Heh. Ah yes, the mommy-answer to "why don't that nice guy/girl like me?".
"He/She just doesn't understand you! Be yourself and find someone that likes you for you!".

Ever figured that there might just be something wrong with who you are, and maybe change is a GOOD THING?
I could never accept the "be yourself"-talk.
If you want someone, be what they want you to be, if you find that it is an acceptable loss to give up part of what you are to get to be with someone you love.
It's a balance thing.
If you go with "be yourself", you might be true to "yourself", but you might just miss out on true love, or actually never get any love at all, simply because you refuse to comprimise.

And at what point do you reveal your true self because putting on a facade for someone everyday sounds really tiring. In other words you don't get true love if it's not you that's loved.

NEVER? The point is that you shuld be willing to compromise and CHANGE. Not stick to your "I'm good enough as I am and If she/he doesn't like me, sucks to be them. I'll just wait for the 'right one'"
Well, yes, you CAN wait for someone that is just so, so perfect and matches you..Or you can actually try to change a bit and realize that "Hey, I can be me, and myself, even if I do a few things differently!".

The term be yourself as I know it doesn't refer to stagnating your character growth but to not lying about who are, over selling yourself and lying about your interests in order to impress. But I still don't like the way your using it, it gets in to the idea of love them for what they could be(could be's rarely come to be) instead of what they are, which I still consider a bad idea. I have nothing against growing and maturing, in fact I support it and you should have a lover that supports and encourages that growth but would still love you in the moment.

If you equate "Be yourself" with "don't lie", then yes, I can accept one should "be oneself". That's a rather weak and bland piece of advice for someone trying to find love (or get laid), though.
I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say "loving them for what they could be". You'd have to be more detailed.
Here's a more detailed position of my point:

Guy A: Gee, I really like that girl over there. She's pretty and funny and doesn't seem to be a total idiot like the rest of the people at this school/bar/workplace/whatever.
Guy B: Ask her out?
Guy A: Eh, we share some interests, but I doubt it is enough. Besides, I'm fat/ugly/boring.
Guy B: Why don't you get a new haircut she will like/work out and lose weight/try out those interests that she likes, maybe you'll like them?
Guy A: I'm not sure that's "me", though.
Guy B: Is what you are equal to your looks, or what you do on you spare time?
Guy A: Well, yeah. Sort of. It is part of it, anyway.
Guy B: Fair enough. Let's put it like this: What is the point of you doing these X things on you spare time? Is it not fair to say it is because you enjoy them?
Guy A: Sure, I guess so. I do like my videogames/comicbooks/mountainbiking/stampcollection/sports/whatever
Guy B: But you also feel that you would enjoy being with this girl, yes?
Guy A: Of course!
Guy B: Andd you feel that if, though getting new interests and maybe a new look will take time away from these interests, even though the new ones might, if you fancy them, garner enjoyment as well. You also feel that giving up what you "are" for someone else is akin to somewhat selling your soul?
Guy A: Okey, maybe not "selling my soul", but yeah, it just feels..Dumb, you know?
Guy B: Fine, fine. So then you do the math.
Guy A: Huh?
Guy B: "The parts that I am giving up about myself is worth X amount of enjoyment to me, but changing parts of me, which increases the likelyhood of that girl over there liking me by Y (Y here being how much of you that you change) is worth Z amount of enjoyment. I also feel that it is rather silly to change based upon getting a partner, so I also lose a solid chuck of enjoyment E from doing so.". So, if you feel you will gain more enjoyment by being with that girl and making a few changes, than staying "true" to yourself, then go for it. This is of course not not counting the fact that you might enjoy the "new" you, with your new interests and looks. Besides, noone said you would have to quit all your old interests.
Or you can stay the same, and wait for a girl that likes you just the way you are. Really up to you, mate. Life is a gamble, afterall.
Guy A: Huh. I guess I'll think about that.

(For the record, let's assume that the girl in fact does NOT fancy Guy A and has more or elss "friendzoned" him in his current apperance)

So your gonna take the time and effort to please a girl that has show no interest in you, that sounds like a waste of time. Being with someone that is forcing me into giving up something that's making me happy, just doesn't sound like it would work, I can't imagine being happy with someone if it meant giving up video games/martial arts/movies, whether it's self imposed or not, it sounds terrible. I'd rather be able to say I'm doing what I like to do, not what someone else wants me to do.

Yes, it DOES sound like a waste of time, but it all depends on how badly you want this girl. If getting the girl would make you more happy than X hours spent on videogames each day, then it wouldn't be giving up someonething that makes you happy, it would be gaining something that makes you happy. Do the math.
And if you feel that you can't imagine having to give up a part of your time (videogames/martial arts/movies) to be with someone else, for their sake (remember, I never said you had to give it up completely), then I am not sure you really grasp the concept of love.

That's still being true to yourself, because you want to be with that girl therefore your not being untrue to yourself, when you'd rather play video games then be with the girl on a regular basis and choose not to that's when you fail to be true to yourself.

And thus, whenever you are "true to yourself", you have chosen whatever gives you most enjoyment, no matter what that might be. For certainly, if you would rather play videogames than be with the girl, but you aren't doing it, then you are not having an "optimalized" life when it comes to picking the path that gives you most happiness.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

The friend zone simply doesn't exist.
It was made up by guys as a reason to why they can't get girls, other than their personality/appearance/other
If she doesn't want to go out with you, she likely has a reason, yeah, maybe it's the case in a few situations, but not as many as presumed.