So you discover that your girlfriend is transgendered.
- Thread starter chinangel
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Physically speaking, there is no vagina/functioning-penis (depending on what you seek from a partner). Even if you had no intentions of impregnating the new-woman, sex still wouldn't be the sex you wanted... Relationships need a triad to work: emotional interest, physical interest, common interests; Otherwise they're doomed to failureSuperMse said:
Transgender does not bother me at all. A fully changed person usually sees that part of their life as a sham, and a changing person is having enough problems with their identity without our judgement.
Its something that is very hard to describe (I know transgendering people) and to be honest, its their life. If you dont like it, then thats your problem, not theirs.
Its something that is very hard to describe (I know transgendering people) and to be honest, its their life. If you dont like it, then thats your problem, not theirs.
My father has Gender Dysphoria and is currently planning on his transitional phase to eventually living as a woman, and I am nothing but proud of him. 
Now, if I had a girlfriend who was, I honestly would not mind. It would lead to some problems with sex though, I am open minded to trying new things but I can't see myself really adapting to that situation; unless she had the full op and was then indistinguishable from other women - in which case it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. On the other hand, sex isn't that important to me, so I am willing to go without if I love her (as long as she is also willing to go without it for me.)
Now, if I had a girlfriend who was, I honestly would not mind. It would lead to some problems with sex though, I am open minded to trying new things but I can't see myself really adapting to that situation; unless she had the full op and was then indistinguishable from other women - in which case it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. On the other hand, sex isn't that important to me, so I am willing to go without if I love her (as long as she is also willing to go without it for me.)
I think it would bother me if it was a girlfriend. Otherwise, whatever. I don't care what bits somebody has if I'm not gonna see 'em. Maybe that sounds rude, but there you go.
If it was my girlfriend I might be a bit pissed that they lied to me about having ever been a man. Not a lie of omission, an outright lie because I always ask during those "so, have you ever...?" conversations.
Of course, if they weren't post-operative then they deserve international acclaim for BEST TUCKBACK EVER.
If it was a friend, I wouldn't give a shit... although if they were newly post-operative I might ask to have a look at their new undercarriage. No, I have no shame.
Of course, if they weren't post-operative then they deserve international acclaim for BEST TUCKBACK EVER.
If it was a friend, I wouldn't give a shit... although if they were newly post-operative I might ask to have a look at their new undercarriage. No, I have no shame.
This. I found that I didn't really know much of it until I met my transsexual friends, and, while I had sympathy for them then, it became a lot more profound after the first one came out to me.Maelgwyn said:
Now I know 7 transsexuals (6 MTF, 1 FTM - that I know of), and, it seems... positively normal to me actually. Once I told myself I would never get into a relationship with or have sex with one - this changed, and I suppose that some things just need direct exposure for people to understand.
I would just like to add that there is also a derogatory term that people throw around not knowing it's derogatory, and that is 'Shemale'. Seriously, I've heard it used to much when people are actually talking in support of these people, not having any clue that its viewed the same as '******' or '******'chinangel said:
I know you didn't ask that, I'm just showing you what the derogatory term is generally seen as.
generic gamer said:Or this guy:
Imagine what he could bring to the field of vagina design...
At last mankind's dream would come true:
FLYGINAS!
I've been through this one - So i have a bit more knowledge.
Also you have the types abit confused - transgender is mental and transexual is physical - is your question "What would you do if she used to be a man?" or "What would you do if she mentally considers herself a man, and wishes to have a sex change?"
The questions are different because in one, she plans on keeping her vagina.
My ex was the latter kind, cross-dressed talked about hormone pills and surgery, but i didn't really mind. Then again i'm very open-minded so i thought that since i don't particularly like sex anyway and that would be the only thing to alter due to all this, then I don't really mind.
Its all about how compatable you and your girlfriend are - and i don't mean Match.com compatable, i mean are you two into things that you see in each other.
I spilt with my ex for example, because i don't really like sex - and they LOVED to have it. I just felt used and unwanted so i decided we couldn't keep it together and as gently as i could, said that it couldn't work.
If it was just a mate i wouldn't care - normality is a lie anyway, none of my friends are 'normal', most are LGBT as it is. Full house actually; ones bisexual and doesn't gender define, his girlfriend is trans and wants to become a woman (born a man), I know a hardcore Duke (also trans), and i'm gay.
But yeah - its 2010 people; get with the times, Eddie Izzard said in 2000;
"By the end of the Millenium theres gonna be a lot more blokes wearing make-up and you've just gotta swing with it"
Also you have the types abit confused - transgender is mental and transexual is physical - is your question "What would you do if she used to be a man?" or "What would you do if she mentally considers herself a man, and wishes to have a sex change?"
The questions are different because in one, she plans on keeping her vagina.
My ex was the latter kind, cross-dressed talked about hormone pills and surgery, but i didn't really mind. Then again i'm very open-minded so i thought that since i don't particularly like sex anyway and that would be the only thing to alter due to all this, then I don't really mind.
Its all about how compatable you and your girlfriend are - and i don't mean Match.com compatable, i mean are you two into things that you see in each other.
I spilt with my ex for example, because i don't really like sex - and they LOVED to have it. I just felt used and unwanted so i decided we couldn't keep it together and as gently as i could, said that it couldn't work.
If it was just a mate i wouldn't care - normality is a lie anyway, none of my friends are 'normal', most are LGBT as it is. Full house actually; ones bisexual and doesn't gender define, his girlfriend is trans and wants to become a woman (born a man), I know a hardcore Duke (also trans), and i'm gay.
But yeah - its 2010 people; get with the times, Eddie Izzard said in 2000;
"By the end of the Millenium theres gonna be a lot more blokes wearing make-up and you've just gotta swing with it"
If my girlfriend turned out to be transgender, as in got the procedure before I met her... well, she's still the girl I was attracted to, still the girl I want to be with, still the girl thats great in the sack
A past that I was not a part of, that made the girl I love, and helped her to be who she really was, and I think that it would be far worse if someone continued to pretend to be something that even they know they are not. Have to accept that if you're in for a long relationship with someone- that is, all aspects of them
EDIT:
well, immediate reaction would be VERY surprised...
A past that I was not a part of, that made the girl I love, and helped her to be who she really was, and I think that it would be far worse if someone continued to pretend to be something that even they know they are not. Have to accept that if you're in for a long relationship with someone- that is, all aspects of them
EDIT:
well, immediate reaction would be VERY surprised...
duly noted. I hate the term 'shemale' too. >.<AverageJoe said:I would just like to add that there is also a derogatory term that people throw around not knowing it's derogatory, and that is 'Shemale'. Seriously, I've heard it used to much when people are actually talking in support of these people, not having any clue that its viewed the same as '******' or '******'chinangel said:
I know you didn't ask that, I'm just showing you what the derogatory term is generally seen as.
The kind of surprised that can only be fully expressed by having your monocle fall out?Caligulove said: