So you discover that your girlfriend is transgendered.
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If I was in a relationship with someone whose gender is male but whose sex is female I wouldn't care.
If I was in a relationship with someone whose gender is female and who changed their sex to also be female there would be to points of consideration for me:
1) would I be able to tell if I had sex with said person
2) It is my understanding that MtF transsexuals can't get pregnant. That could be a deal-breaker for me though I might gamble that technology would overcome that problem soon.
If I was friends with someone and found out they are transgendered or transsexual I wouldn't care. I'd probably consider it cool.
Also, about the whole trust thing, I'd expect them to tell me eventually but I wouldn't expect for them to tell me from the beginning. I have more understanding than that.
Edit: This is all of course how I'd ideally react.
If I was in a relationship with someone whose gender is female and who changed their sex to also be female there would be to points of consideration for me:
1) would I be able to tell if I had sex with said person
2) It is my understanding that MtF transsexuals can't get pregnant. That could be a deal-breaker for me though I might gamble that technology would overcome that problem soon.
If I was friends with someone and found out they are transgendered or transsexual I wouldn't care. I'd probably consider it cool.
Also, about the whole trust thing, I'd expect them to tell me eventually but I wouldn't expect for them to tell me from the beginning. I have more understanding than that.
Edit: This is all of course how I'd ideally react.
I'd be grateful I had a girlfriend in the first place. Wouldn't it technically be a boyfriend though?
I'd say "Wow..." and then ask them about how long ago they transitioned and that. Presumably, if it was a girlfriend, the conversation would come up relatively early. =) I used to have some really major hangups about transgenderism, mainly stemming from my belief that gender roles aren't all that hard-and-fast to begin with. But gender does go deeper than that, so I can respect people wanting to be what they feel they are.
Besides, as far as the sex goes, use your imaginations. =) I've not really seen much that can't be done with a little ingenuity (and silicone). That said, I'm into men and women - so people who are in-between really shouldn't bother me in a relationship.
Besides, as far as the sex goes, use your imaginations. =) I've not really seen much that can't be done with a little ingenuity (and silicone). That said, I'm into men and women - so people who are in-between really shouldn't bother me in a relationship.
I'd fell hurt for having been lied to. I know this is terrible, but I'm not sure I could deal with it. Finding out my girlfriend was once a guy is just too weird to think about.
i`d remain calm and calmly say i wanted to break up if it was my girlfriend but an ordinary friend i wouldnt care
As a transexual woman myself, I tend to be very forward with those that I am dating. For me, it is a matter of safety when guys uncomfortable with their sexuality might flip and hurt me.Imagine how scary it can be for a transgender girl to tell her boyfriend.... some people might say barf and they are being lied to but imagine how you would feel if there was a chance that you would be killed and left in a ditch somewhere (and its happened many times).
I have read some really great comments that has given me faith in people, but I have also read some very hurtful things. No one wants to be referred to as an 'it'. If you are uncertain which pronouns to use either ask or use third person 'they'. Calling someone an 'it' is just dehumanizing them. Also the term 'trap' is pretty insulting too.
I have always known that I was a girl since the age of 5. Some people say that trans people are the best of both worlds, that we understand what it is like to be a boy and girl. Even though, I was raised as a boy, I never felt like one and to this day I don't understand why they do the things they do. Most people when asked if they would change their sex for a million dollars if they would, many said no. We all have a gender identity for some people it just doesn't match their birth sex.
For being myself, I paid the price of being bullied and beaten while teachers looked the other way, lost my family, and I was almost killed just because I am different (so it triggers me when I read people that would respond violently or crazy... I almost lost my life because of that attitude). Who would choose that life of such heartache, no one. It wasn't a choice, tranistioning physically to female was the only thing I could do.... asides from killing myself (which I have tried because this culture taught me to hate myself)
I think this society's attitude toward transgirls is due to the inherent mysogynistic nature of the culture. From what I have read and gathered from personal experiences, people can understand why a woman would want to be a man 'female to male' but why would a 'man' want to give up 'his' organ. That is also why ftm's are invisible in popular media and transgirls are hyper sensationalized and treated so poorly. Transgirls are used for supposed shock factor and we are considered the last group deemed "okay" to make slurs toward.
And for those people who view people's gender and sex being the same, I would like to think that people's identities are more than just their organs. It makes me sad when a woman says she is a woman because of her organs and views that as the whole reason for her identity. I refuse to be reduced to body parts.
Sorry to come on so strong; it's just sad to see so many people dehumanizing trans people. I think most people have never met a trans person and rely on Jerry Springer (which doesn't feature trans woman but actors playing that role) for representation.
I think the most important thing is communication in a relationship. I think it is important to be open to someone you are dating. If you are not cool with your girlfriend being trans, then politely break up. Don't go barf!! Ewww it!! Wishing they would die or go crazy on them. Many trans girls I know are total gamer girls so if you turn her away cause of her past then... you're missing out on having a girl to play games with (in highschool, that was my friends' dream to meet a girl who like really knows her games).
Feel free to email me. I am very open and if a question is not worded with hate, then I will be happy to answer.
I have read some really great comments that has given me faith in people, but I have also read some very hurtful things. No one wants to be referred to as an 'it'. If you are uncertain which pronouns to use either ask or use third person 'they'. Calling someone an 'it' is just dehumanizing them. Also the term 'trap' is pretty insulting too.
I have always known that I was a girl since the age of 5. Some people say that trans people are the best of both worlds, that we understand what it is like to be a boy and girl. Even though, I was raised as a boy, I never felt like one and to this day I don't understand why they do the things they do. Most people when asked if they would change their sex for a million dollars if they would, many said no. We all have a gender identity for some people it just doesn't match their birth sex.
For being myself, I paid the price of being bullied and beaten while teachers looked the other way, lost my family, and I was almost killed just because I am different (so it triggers me when I read people that would respond violently or crazy... I almost lost my life because of that attitude). Who would choose that life of such heartache, no one. It wasn't a choice, tranistioning physically to female was the only thing I could do.... asides from killing myself (which I have tried because this culture taught me to hate myself)
I think this society's attitude toward transgirls is due to the inherent mysogynistic nature of the culture. From what I have read and gathered from personal experiences, people can understand why a woman would want to be a man 'female to male' but why would a 'man' want to give up 'his' organ. That is also why ftm's are invisible in popular media and transgirls are hyper sensationalized and treated so poorly. Transgirls are used for supposed shock factor and we are considered the last group deemed "okay" to make slurs toward.
And for those people who view people's gender and sex being the same, I would like to think that people's identities are more than just their organs. It makes me sad when a woman says she is a woman because of her organs and views that as the whole reason for her identity. I refuse to be reduced to body parts.
Sorry to come on so strong; it's just sad to see so many people dehumanizing trans people. I think most people have never met a trans person and rely on Jerry Springer (which doesn't feature trans woman but actors playing that role) for representation.
I think the most important thing is communication in a relationship. I think it is important to be open to someone you are dating. If you are not cool with your girlfriend being trans, then politely break up. Don't go barf!! Ewww it!! Wishing they would die or go crazy on them. Many trans girls I know are total gamer girls so if you turn her away cause of her past then... you're missing out on having a girl to play games with (in highschool, that was my friends' dream to meet a girl who like really knows her games).
Feel free to email me. I am very open and if a question is not worded with hate, then I will be happy to answer.
I asked my boyfriend this, and he responded, "I would bemoan the fact that you got rid of your penis...if you still had it, I'd be able to make you cum faster! I should know from having a penis, and having cum quite a few times."
I asked, "wouldn't you miss my vagina?"
To which he replied, "anal is fine, too."
To which *I* replied, "...but I poop from there!"
I asked, "wouldn't you miss my vagina?"
To which he replied, "anal is fine, too."
To which *I* replied, "...but I poop from there!"
Female hormones pretty much make that part unusable so your boyfriend might end up disappointed then. hehehe
I would feel hurt that they lied to me, but I would forgive them and accept them for who they are now.
Transgendered women are hardly "Hes" anymore, in-fact spare the body they normally aren't men in the conventional sense as they see themselves as girls from the get go.hippykiller said:
Besides, considering the marvels of modern surgery and hormone replacement therapy it's not going to feel like that scene in Ace Ventura after they confess.
I can take being lied to very badly, but other than that I don't see any reason to have a problem with a friend or colleague being transgendered.
I must say, I am very disappointed in the majority of the answers on this thread. I've come to expect more from this site.
Yet, the ignorance displayed by some people is simply staggering.
If they are a transsexual MtF, then they are a 'she', no two ways about it, just as a FtM is a 'he', no exception.
And I'm surprised by some of the users who said some things... truly disgusting. But at least I know who are decent people, and who aren't, now.
Here is a nice little phrase: "I am what I make of myself"
Sound good? Indeed.
We are all what we make of ourselves, what we choose to be, who we are deep down, what we do about it.
And now, more on topic: If you love them, then being transsexual makes no fething difference. Your girlfriend is still a girl, they aren't male.
Argh, this thread and the number of stupid answers makes me rage...
Yet, the ignorance displayed by some people is simply staggering.
If they are a transsexual MtF, then they are a 'she', no two ways about it, just as a FtM is a 'he', no exception.
And I'm surprised by some of the users who said some things... truly disgusting. But at least I know who are decent people, and who aren't, now.
Here is a nice little phrase: "I am what I make of myself"
Sound good? Indeed.
We are all what we make of ourselves, what we choose to be, who we are deep down, what we do about it.
And now, more on topic: If you love them, then being transsexual makes no fething difference. Your girlfriend is still a girl, they aren't male.
Argh, this thread and the number of stupid answers makes me rage...