So, you just found out you are Jesus...

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standokan

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May 28, 2009
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I wouldn´t believe it, I´m not a good enough person.

Though, if I turned out to be the real deal, idk burn all my shit, get a bunch of followers, travel around and in the end get crusified, I mean like, I´m not very worried about wasting my life on earth, since as Jesus I am proof of and have a free pass to HEAVEN.
 

Optional Opinion

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Dec 29, 2008
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I'd swagger around curing halitosis, athletes foot, nose bleeds and hair loss.

I would then walk on water, cure some lepers and heal the blind.

Then organise a bitching ass party with all my bros (even that one that looks at me funny). Make a whale expel wine out of it blow hole and sleep with some maybe-hooker I keep around.

Then chill out on the letter T which was kindly stuck in the ground for me.
 

Rinji

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Feb 9, 2011
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I'd make me immortal and start fighting crime... and I'd make me kinda rich so that I could by a nice apartment and live in it... and still go to school.

I wouldn't tell anyone that I'm the son of god, but I'd make sure that people recognize that the world becomes a better place.

Megawat22 said:
Oh, and I'd make Charlie Sheen president (of America) for a laugh.
He's an F-18, bro!
 

SenseOfTumour

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Jul 11, 2008
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I'd certainly be around to the Vatican and have a word about camels and eyes of needles and the like, and suggest they might like to sell up a shedload of their properties, as my dad says you can worship anyway, you don't need a lot of gold plated stuff and marble statues and the like.

I'd probably then take the founders of 200 large charities, and have them swap places with the heads of states of the countries of the world, using a massive mind trick to make the population of say, Uganda totally accept that their leader is now tiny grey haired old lady in a cardigan.

Then I'd take the 200 richest people on the planet, and explain to them that they're going to be now assisting one of each of my new leaders in making my future become a reality, because I know merely having good intentions goes nowhere without good business sense, but the kind of people who can make $50 billion, are the kind of people who can turn around countries if they had to.

Those 400 to start with, get invulnerability and immortality until they screw me over, then it fades.

I'd then get to work, not completely balancing the rich n poor of the world, but equalising it enough so that no-one needs to be hungry or homeless or without basic work and education.

I'd then be assassinated (as I'd be too important and famous by then to be merely murdered), as humanity really hates anyone who changes things for the better, whereas tyrants and despots and mass murdering warmongers tend to die in bed at 90.
 

JUMBO PALACE

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Jun 17, 2009
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Pshh anything I want. Probably alter my looks, get chicks, do stuff. In that order.

Then give myself superpowers and go ape shit.
 

CrazyGirl17

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Sep 11, 2009
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First off, I wouldn't tell anybody, since I don't want the wrong kind of attention.

That being said, I'd use my newfound powers to screw with people and smite everyone who pisses me off.

...And yeah, I'd work for world peace too.
 

nyttyn

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Sep 9, 2008
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Release half life two, episode three. THAT would make people instantly convert to me lol.
 

Adam28

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Feb 28, 2011
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Become the supreme leader of the world.... this world will be one of peace where all the pricks are thrown out.
 

DanielBrown

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Dec 3, 2010
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If there's a choice between preaching for world peace or taking over the world I would probably go with the latter. I doubt we'll ever see a world at peace, so I might as well be the one in control!

Though what I'd really do is just make my life more awesome.
... and force Blizzard to release Diablo III already!
 

Aetera

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Jan 19, 2011
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I'd wait for Alan Rickman to show up so we can go for tequila. If there was no Alan Rickman/Metatron snark to go along with my daughter-of-god status, I'd be VERY disappointed.

Oh, and I'd probably rebel and become a merc. Deadpool is my favorite super-powered individual. Being a super hero isn't my thing, and ruling the world is way too much work. I'd prefer the freer life of a merc.
 

spidermounky

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Nov 8, 2010
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ok first i make 2 univers 1 I turn in to minecraft only beter ( dont know how but i am Jesus so i can) and the other in to some kind of wired mass efect/black magican trilogy hybried the watch my creations and sometimes intervien in my gint floating gold caste gared by silver dragons
 

Torrasque

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Aug 6, 2010
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BreakfastMan said:
Would you start a club with an alien, a very well-endowed time traveler, and an esper to go look for strange mysteries or occurrences?stuff, please?
If I was Jesus, I would cure cancer, talk to atheists about god (who I know exists, since I am his son), stop war, turn everyone in the world into a christian (although it would be a very casual religion, not that "GO TO CHURCH EVERY DAY!" kind of crap) and help humanity spread across the universe.

So, I'd basically be a superhero, except I'd have religious implications.
 

The Seldom Seen Kid

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Apr 28, 2010
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Be the same as I am right now, except with a newfound ego and beard.

Also use my powers to occasionally impress a sweet chick.
 

Geo Da Sponge

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May 14, 2008
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So I'm Jesus, eh? Time to troll some atheists.

poiumty said:
I would do absolutely nothing for a while. Instead, i'd proceed with my normal life, radiating with my newfound confidence boost. Killing anyone whom i find disatisfactory. For i am more than human, and i can judge.

Soon enough, humanity will feel my power. World peace will not be suggested; it will be enforced. Hunger will be cleansed, pollution will disappear, diseases will be purged, monuments will be erected, dissenters will be eradicated, education will be mandatory, information will be free, art will be encouraged. Under my guidance, humanity will enter a new age of progress and prosperity. We will colonize new worlds and set out across the sea of stars. I will see humanity's purpose achieved.

And the best part: no FUCKING RELIGION. Take that, God.
If God exists in the traditional Christian sense, it logically follows that hell exists. So you would be condemning all those people to an eternity of suffering. Just because you think religion is teh evilz even when it turns out to be right.