So, you wake up, and there's blood in your bed...

[Zantos]

I once was in bed with my ex-girlfriend and she'd started *bleeding* in her sleep. With an amount of blood I suspect is actually more than exists in her entire body. Just went back to sleep and waited for her to freak before I started. Didn't help it was her best friend's little sister's bed.

 

[Ganthrinor]

Lets say you wake up one morning, and before you take the covers off, you notice a HUGE bloodstain around the other side of the bed.

What is your first reaction to what this is, before you take off the covers to see what it is? What is the most horrifying thing that could be in your bed, making that bloodstain?

I obviously forgot to shower after getting home from my murder spree.

 

[Wapox]

I'd think: "Meh... bloody nose..." I often turn around completely when I sleep... so it might just be my randomly occurring nosebleeds while turning the wrong way in the bed... actually happened once... xD

The worst thing I might think about would probably be... OMG! SOMETONE TOOK MY FEET!!!!

 

[littlealicewhite]

First I'd think it was my period. Then I would remember that I'm on birth control and can't get them. Then I would check to make sure I'm not fatally injured and I'm not sharing my bed with anything.

 

[repeating integers]

What... WHAT? NO! NOOOO! WHICH ONE OF YOU MONSTERS STABBED MY BED TO DEATH!?

*sob*

How will I ever live without you...

 

[Plurralbles]

What happened to that chick I banged last night?

First I'd think it was my period. Then I would remember that I'm on birth control and can't get them. Then I would check to make sure I'm not fatally injured and I'm not sharing my bed with anything.

OH God is my penis ok?!

I once was in bed with my ex-girlfriend and she'd started *bleeding* in her sleep. With an amount of blood I suspect is actually more than exists in her entire body. Just went back to sleep and waited for her to freak before I started. Didn't help it was her best friend's little sister's bed.

You guys are laughing but this shit actually happened to me two weeks ago. It wasn't one big wet stain, but many smaller ones.

What happened was that I was staying in Paris with my friends and one of them had sex with our neighbour (she was on her period) in our shared bed (it's an expensive city) without telling me about it when the rest of us was out drinking. In the morning I had one of my most intense "WTF!??!?!" moments in my life, since I couldn't remember anything from last night. I thought I was mortaly wounded. The fucker just left the sheet that way and went to sleep on the other bed.

How is any of this stuff less offensive than what I said on page 2 about virgins(who now aren't) being in my bed the night before?

 

[cryogeist]

....what happened last night?

 

[jawakiller]

Damn it. Last time I go with a virgin...

 

[katsumoto03]

Shit, there goes another housepet...

EDIT:

"You sleep rather soundly...

...for a murderer"

...

I love you.

 

[Tonythion]

Pray to the lord that I didn't go on another virgin raping spree.

So I'm not the only person who has those!

Oh no no, there is a whole group of us. We meet on Tuesdays

 

[Alphakirby]

My first thought..."WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!?" My second thought..."How did I kill,carry,and dispose of the body???"

 

[Spartan448]

Who do you think I am, Jack Woltz?

The bloodstain is most likely just the blood from the jugular vein of a horse's head that some Mafiosi stuffed in there to scare me into accepting a deal. Scary, but the answer is still no! You're gonna have to try harder than that, Hagan!

 

[SloshedUberman]

Meh. The blood is on the other side of the bed, i'll just go back to sleep.

 

[The Rockerfly]

Put the dead prostitutes body in the car

I'm Patrick Bateman

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Apparently someone tried and failed to assassinate me in my sleep. They realized my regeneration wasn't gonna kick the bucket so they said "fuck it" and quietly left without having the courtesy to clean up.