So, you wake up, and there's blood in your bed...

[leady129]

A Silent Hill monster. Particularly one of the monsters from Silent Hill 2.

Bubble head nurse?

...Because even that would look attractive if you were drunk enough.

 

[Palindromes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M17aG_Po2Y

 

[Nickompoop]

My thought process:
"Am I still a man?...Good."
"Well, since I'm all right, let's get the hell out of this bed."

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

Okay, I think we can make a comprehensive flowchart for reacting to this situation, based on the responses:

Are you a woman?----->yes-----> It's that time again----> No it's not...---> check for horse head
l
l
l
V
No
l
l
l
V
Check Dick--->Dick is fine---> check for horse head and/or hookers and/or virgin sacrifices
l
l
l
V
Call a doctor

I believe you have won the thread. *tips hat*

 

[ensouls]

DEAR GOD! My ANUS IS BLEEDING!

Damn the illusion of movement! Damn the illusion of movement TO HELL!!

I'd leap out of bed, make sure it wasn't my own blood (although if I lost that much blood overnight, I wouldn't be waking up without some help), and then call the cops. Or start checking all of the closets with Psycho Knife in one hand and my phone in the other.

 

[Shuswah_Noir]

Ummm... Wait.. What? -sigh-

 

[Crimson King]

Well I'd pray to god that the cantankerous local mobsters have played a joke and slipped a horse's severed head under my bedsheets while I was asleep...is what I would say, but since every other comment here is saying the same thing, there's not really any point.

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

Well fuck, that nose cauterization and the whole septum surgery got fucked up. It's another nose bleed...

 

[K4ndY]

Seeing as how I have an unnatural fascination with blood, I'd probably be more interested with this find than afraid of it. I'd be worried though about what I might have been up to that night, and why the heck I can't remember any of it.

 

[TheTim]

I'd check my wiener first out of instinct, then my scars on my knee.

but the most horrifying would be someone's period bloodjuice stuff.

 

[OutforEC]

First thought: Black market organ harvesting.

Second thought: Is my dog alright?

Third thought: Is my girlfriend alright?

I realize the order may look a bit screwy, but I worry about him more frequently since he can't tell me when things may be wrong, whereas sometimes that's ALL she does

 

[GraveeKing]

Oh bugger me it would appear the corpse hanging from my ceiling fell from it's chains again.

 

[WanderingFool]

My first reaction is going to be three stages, 1: curiousity, "what the fuck is this?" 2: realization, "this... this is BLOOD!" 3: the finale, "OH GOD, PLEASE TELL ME I THAT WASNT FROM MY PENIS BEING CUT OFF!!!!"

Spoiler: I lift up the covers and see...

only naked and sleeping... but I see that neither of us are bleeding, and now im more confused, but to terrified to wake her to ask what happened last night. But that will be the last time I decide to get shit faced with an asain chick...

 

[Kuroneko97]

"Damn, that was some rough sex..."

 

[Drakmorg]

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that week old pizza...

 

[Elf Defiler Korgan]

Not again...

Stop, thief!

YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW.

Your stolen penises are now forfeit!

 

[NotYetForsaken]

Has happened to me before, I'd check my nose first, then check if I didn't cut myself on my sais, check my bedside for my survival knife, roll over and make sure my sword is in its sheath, halberd is on the wall, ammunition is still in nightstand, M16A2 still on the wall next to halberd. Check myself for any other bleeding.

Check my bed for any creatures.

Plunge a silver dagger into my bed (I should really get one.) to see if it screams. Get the laptop, google it, blog about it, post on the Escapist, back to sleep.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

damn this sleepwalking is getting out of hand.

 

[Tdc2182]

Not again...

Stop, thief!

YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW.

[Resist Arrest]

THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD!!

Edit: Wow.

Kinda embarrassing how late I was to this.