So, you're in the desert...

[astrav1]

Use sand to blind them, disarm during the distraction, cut them up while they're still recuperating, then do a victory dance.

 

[Crash 9000]

I am currently wearing a machine gun...
Do I win?

 

[captainwolfos]

Which desert? What kind of desert? Is it hot or cold? Day or night? Why are they there to cut me up into little pieces with machetes and/or axes? What am I wearing? What are they wearing? What are their names? Is that Steve? What are you doing with a sharp object, Steve, you'll hurt yourself?

Uh, yeah. I have no idea where I was going with that.
I'd go all aikido on their asses. And nick their stuff. [small]Oblivion makes you a kleptomaniac whether you like it or not.[/small]

 

[Kiefer13]

Throw sand in the nearest hostiles eyes, and attempt to disarm them and get the weapon. If there are any rocks lying around, throw those as well. Realistically I'm probably dead, but I might as well go down fighting.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Being a dragon I am not amused at their attempt on my life. So I-...

What? I can't do that?
Oh, fine. I get brutally murdered because I forgot to bring my Handgun of Topic Convenience with me.

Never mind that murdering a man in cold blood in the desert seems particularly stupid if he doesn't have anything worth taking (my present clothing wouldn't be worth a damn in the desert unless you happen to like my smell. In which case...ewwwwww!).

 

[Madara XIII]

*Summons Jumbo Cactuar*

They ain't gonna do shit now!!!

MWHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Flames66]

I quickly jury ridge a small cactus into a spike club and try to put as many poisonous snakes between me and them.

*Jury Rig*

Impress them with my ability to move my eyebrows independently.

 

[Thundero13]

I would say there's no point robbing me because all I have are my clothes, and there's no point wasting bullets because i'm gonna die here anyway, also why are you in the middle of the desert, actually why am I in the middle of the desert?

 

[alrekr]

Use my glasses to focus the energy of the sun into ray of searing heat that I would use to ignite the thugs

 

[Klarinette]

Fling shit at them? Cry a lot? Eat some sand and try to look as insane a possible so that they might change their minds? Hm...

 

[iBananaCrazy]

I would let them kill me. I would rather die than be in that kind of heat, I hate heat.

The Arctic is a desert too, so you could be REALLY cold.

If I was in a sandy desert, I'd probably throw sand in there highs, and try to grab an axe and chop them up..

If I was in the arctic, I'd probably already be dead. Cold sucks.

 

[PurplePlatypus]

Well, I?m probably already exhausted and dehydrated at that point so not much of anything apart from collapse to the ground if I?m not already there. If I?m in better condition and haven?t been wandering around in the hot sun without much water.... Probably collapse to the ground if I?m not already there. What the hell am I supposed to do? They have big sharp things and I?m short and not that strong and I don?t do well with an English summer never mind the heat in the middle of a bloody desert. I?d probably beg them pathetically not to cut me.

 

[Nouw]

Help me Gorillaz! [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALKt_yjjB0s&ob=av2e]

In all seriousness, I will jump in the lake. Get it?

 

[niege]

I would let them kill me. I would rather die than be in that kind of heat, I hate heat.

i second that opinion

 

[spartan1077]

I ask for one last wish. If they are honorable thugs they will honor that and I will wish for a machete as my last meal. Being honorable thugs they will give it to me and I will eat a machete and die a happy death.

 

[The Eggplant]

I do nothing, because the thugs don't exist, and neither does the desert...because there's no way in hell I would ever let that happen to myself. I hate heat too much to even consider getting into a situation where I could get stuck in a desert.

 

[Free Thinker]

I'll ditch my unnecessary clothing. Shirt, shoes, socks, etc. Then, I use my shoes as shovels and bury myself in the sand and become a sand ninja. Once one of the thugs walks above me, I burst out, snap his neck, take his weapon, and kill the rest. I will then keep their bodies, use their clothing for tinder during the nights, eat their flesh, boil their blood and drink it, and survive as long as possible so that I can leave this stupid, harsh, wasteland.

And that is EPIC/MANLY survival answer #1.

 

[C95J]

Falcon Punch.

 

[Adventurer2626]

You didn't say how many so we'll say three okay? First I kick up a nice dust cloud. Then I step (flail/dive/barrel-roll) over behind them and attempt to destabilize the slope, grabbing legs where I can to trip them up. If I'm lucky they'll fall in a tangled mess and sustain some injuries. Kick up some more sand to keep them disoriented. Then through liberal application of metacarpelling/joint-locking, disarm a machete from one. Failing that, I'll get a choke hold going have a nice body shield. I'll try to get in a couple cuts to the arms of the still armed foes then they should be easily dispatchable after that. Then I just leave their water as a gift to Shai-Hulud and be on my way.

 

[FolkLikePanda]

I'd have one of my bursts of glory and use my clothes to disarm them and then do some Jackie Chan stuff and kill them all.