Personally, I don't want a funeral. I don't want people to cry over me just because I'm dead. Hell, I'd rather people didn't even know I was dead. I'd rather people just remember me for who and how I am and let my memory fade into their sub-concious.
IF, however, they do decide to hold a funeral for me, it would have to be very small... closest family and friends only... and nothing religious (no minster droning on, no hymns or church music, etc). If people are going to get up to speak, they'd need to be honest. None of this "He was a perfect man, could do no wrong." because that's bullshit and everyone knows it.
As for music, I chose mine long ago. Hammerfall's "Glory to the Brave"
I'd prefer cremation (or resurrection, but can't have everything). For any plaque or headstone, I really wouldn't know what to have. Fun as it would be to have something funny, I'm not nearly witty enough to come up with anything worthwhile.