The problem with your analogy is riding a bike is a foreseeable end. It is easily comprehended. Being an upstanding member of society isn't. Yes, children will mimic you to a point like what you are wearing, reading the paper, etc. However, they will still run around in the supermarket and bite strangers. It is at that point you need to whip out the punishment(spanking, washing their mouth out with soap, what have you). Just be sure to reward them when they don't bite strangers the next time. Although I think we are agreeing on a lot of our points.pulse2 said:
Spanking
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Nyaa~Koroviev said:Damn, where is my laser gun when I need it <__<TehCookie said:Koroviev said:No, I have a friend over last night. I prefer being alone though.TehCookie said:Nothing wrong with having a night to yourself, unless it's every night...Koroviev said:
Wow this is getting off topic...
OT: I don't condone spanking cats. The animal animals. Not the other cats...
I wonder if a squirtbottle will work on babies...
Try words. If that doesn't work, fuckin' smack 'em. You can't shelter your kids or they'll become spineless pussies.
It will (though mace would be considered abuse). I was taught with a spray bottle to flinch when someone said "can" my junior year of high school.[/quote]crudus said:
You learn something new everyday, especially on these forums. You should also change your screenname to Sudowoodo.
Anyways, may I ask why taught you to do that?
there is a strong psychological differences to any person if you touch them, hit them, or do anything kinesthetic to them in the face, there is a strong emotional polarization compared to most other parts of the body. For example, I you hit a person in the arm, you know, for fun, they usually wont react with hostility if its a casual situation, however if you were to hit them in the face, even if it was intended to be friendly physical contact, you can invoke a strong hostile response. The same is true (but instead acting in an overly peaceful way) for non sexual intimate moments (I E parent and child friend etc).Koroviev said:
The point is If you slap your child across the face (especially this early) you will do one of a few things, alienate them in terms of closeness, family ties, cause them to hate you, even later in their life, cause repressive and/or seclusive personalties, and a whole host of other problems.
if you don't believe me you can at least test this a little in real life, for example, getting hit in the face (by any object even by accident as long as it was from a person), though its hard to purposefully get into a situation like that.
I think that name is taken. Anyway, I was taught to do that for a psychology class. The teacher was demonstrating classical conditioning. He read a list of words and sprayed me in the ear when he said "can". The point was to get me to flinch when he said "can", but didn't spray me. It worked. I was flinching randomly all day. I have had that reflex crop up a few times over the years.TehCookie said:
Agreed for the most part, however I think that there is such things as bad kids, but they're uncommon. Punishment differs from kid to kid. Physical punishment should always be an option, but it doesn't always need to be used. It can get to the point where the parent has the right to punch the kid's lights out, but that's only when the kid is becoming a danger to himself and to others. My mom always gave my the 3 strike rule. She'd tell me to stop. that would be 1. "that's 2" on the 2nd strike. "That's 3!" and from there I would at least have my ear grabbed and would end up looking at one pissed off mother, or she would smack me across the face and tell me to pick myself off the floor. *shivers* my mom scared me when she got angry. LOL because of how well I behave now, she is sweet as can be. Also I found out why I'm such a nerd... thanks mom for your genes lol.pulse2 said:
I got smacked on the hand a fair number of times, spanked every now and then.
It was more often I was glared at and angrily threatened with a spanking, and that was still fairly uncommon.
Even then, the only thing it ever accomplished was rooting a strange feeling of terrified resentment that only pops up when my Dad gives me the Do-You-Understand-Me?! look.
So, No. I really don't want to do that to my hypothetical children. If for some strange reason it's my only option to keep them from being awful people, I'll do it. But I truly hope I won't be a bad enough parent to let it come to that.
It was more often I was glared at and angrily threatened with a spanking, and that was still fairly uncommon.
Even then, the only thing it ever accomplished was rooting a strange feeling of terrified resentment that only pops up when my Dad gives me the Do-You-Understand-Me?! look.
So, No. I really don't want to do that to my hypothetical children. If for some strange reason it's my only option to keep them from being awful people, I'll do it. But I truly hope I won't be a bad enough parent to let it come to that.
I think it's good because it's a wakeup call for the child. They're going to learn the world is full of jerks someday, might as well get a hard knock when they're the ones being a jerk before they act like a jerk to someone who won't stop at just one smack.
I think it's just a cop-out when a parent doesn't know what to do. The does something bad. You don't know how to discipline your kid? Wack him! It's the brute force approach to punishment.
I turned out to be a great kid. I respect my elders and authority figures, I'm great friends with my mom, act nice in public, and never get aggressive unless provoked. Even then, there's never hitting, only firm and angry words. However, for all intents and purposes, spanking didn't work for me at all.
Tantrums were stopped in their tracks when I was little, I rarely cried, and I was even polite as a kid. The only problem was schoolwork. Every now and then, after a little slip in concentration or a desire to play rather than work, I'd get an F. My mom spanked me for it. I learned immediately that Fs were very, very bad things to get, as were Ds and Cs. But as intelligent as I was, I hated doing homework instead of playing, and I'd still get them. And I'd still get spanked. By the time I was in middle school, I'd become a horrible student due to some bad happenstances outside of my power, and I was a liar. The only thing I lied about was homework. I was terrified to tell my mom. I wasn't spanked by then, but there was still that terrible fear of punishment for something I *knew* was bad and that I shouldn't be doing. I had no will to do it. Bad, yes, but making me feel worse about it never helped. To this day I still lie when I do less than perfect or forget an assignment or two, and I'm a straight A student.
But I've seen the other kids. Sometimes, it's necessary. For me, other forms of punishment/reinforcement should have been used. I didn't need it. But some kids are impolite little shits who hate authority and don't respect anyone but that kid down the street who stole his big brother's weed that one time. Spanking is a way to associate something undesirable for the parent with something undesirable for the kid. I understood it from the get-go, but my work barely improved because I was in a bad mental state.
tl;dr: Works for some kids, but not for all of them.
Tantrums were stopped in their tracks when I was little, I rarely cried, and I was even polite as a kid. The only problem was schoolwork. Every now and then, after a little slip in concentration or a desire to play rather than work, I'd get an F. My mom spanked me for it. I learned immediately that Fs were very, very bad things to get, as were Ds and Cs. But as intelligent as I was, I hated doing homework instead of playing, and I'd still get them. And I'd still get spanked. By the time I was in middle school, I'd become a horrible student due to some bad happenstances outside of my power, and I was a liar. The only thing I lied about was homework. I was terrified to tell my mom. I wasn't spanked by then, but there was still that terrible fear of punishment for something I *knew* was bad and that I shouldn't be doing. I had no will to do it. Bad, yes, but making me feel worse about it never helped. To this day I still lie when I do less than perfect or forget an assignment or two, and I'm a straight A student.
But I've seen the other kids. Sometimes, it's necessary. For me, other forms of punishment/reinforcement should have been used. I didn't need it. But some kids are impolite little shits who hate authority and don't respect anyone but that kid down the street who stole his big brother's weed that one time. Spanking is a way to associate something undesirable for the parent with something undesirable for the kid. I understood it from the get-go, but my work barely improved because I was in a bad mental state.
tl;dr: Works for some kids, but not for all of them.
I would do it, if I had kids, however only if they were truly doing the wrong thing, and wouldn't listen to you.
However I still feel that most conflicts could be solved with words, it just depends on the child.
My parents probably hit me a total of 3 times, and even then it was barely hard, and it was only if I was being a real douchebag.
However I still feel that most conflicts could be solved with words, it just depends on the child.
My parents probably hit me a total of 3 times, and even then it was barely hard, and it was only if I was being a real douchebag.
It worked on me. I have encountered many children that have need a good spanking. Many parents these days are too afraid that it will permanently scare a child, mainly mentally. It just isn't the case.
This last Thanksgiving when I was at my aunt's house for the big family get together, one of my cousins brought his kids over. His oldest kid, she's like six or seven, I don't remember. She was up in the upstairs tv area with my brother, another cousin, and I. She was running around screaming and knocking stuff over and touching some of my aunt's stuff that she shouldn't touch. The cousin that is the father, just yelled up to her to settle down, of course she didn't stop. Then later my uncle yelled up to her as well. Not once did they come up and do something about her. My brother and I did the best we could to stop her from breaking stuff, but we couldn't doing anything that would really make her stop be wild, because we aren't the parents.
If I have a kid, there will be spanking if things like verbal warnings and time-outs prove unsuccessful.
This last Thanksgiving when I was at my aunt's house for the big family get together, one of my cousins brought his kids over. His oldest kid, she's like six or seven, I don't remember. She was up in the upstairs tv area with my brother, another cousin, and I. She was running around screaming and knocking stuff over and touching some of my aunt's stuff that she shouldn't touch. The cousin that is the father, just yelled up to her to settle down, of course she didn't stop. Then later my uncle yelled up to her as well. Not once did they come up and do something about her. My brother and I did the best we could to stop her from breaking stuff, but we couldn't doing anything that would really make her stop be wild, because we aren't the parents.
If I have a kid, there will be spanking if things like verbal warnings and time-outs prove unsuccessful.