SPIDERS, EVERYWHERE

[Quazimofo]

ok since all i have is a wooden stool next to my chair (i dont know why so dont ask) ima need this spider to have stolen some stool softener from the local pharmacy

then i shall say "Try Softening THIS stool!"

thats all i got.

Edit: Oh wait! i got a black and white printer i can wield, how about this?
(after bashing the spider's head in and causing the ink cartridge to break) "now Thats what i call a black widow"
P.S. i know im terrible at one liners

 

[Vault101]

Isnt it wear that humans are so scared of spiders?

 

[archvile93]

I've got an Arisaka rifle here. That'll probably work, assuming I hit it with the first shot.

 

[blue spartan 11]

Grab this baby
http://www.theofftopic.com/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=3877
And shout: We're in for some chop!

 

[archvile93]

Sorry, I don't know what causes this.

 

[Extasii]

Kill them? I live in Australia. I get spiders the size of dinner plates in my house all the time. I'm quite fond of them.

Spoiler: Click for cute puppy

"

"

So cute!

Jesus man use a spoiler!

[sub]that way it will REALLY surprise people![/sub]

You win the thread

 

[warprincenataku]

*grabs toaster* YOU'RE TOAST!

 

[aLivingPheonix]

Probably just grab my Machete, and confidently say "It's time to nut up, or shut up".

Yeah, I know I'm not original, but I suck at one liners.

 

[Nouw]

"EAT PRINTER ************!" Sorry but it's hard to be subtle when a huge spider has just entered through your window.

 

[captaincabbage]

Grabbin' my 12ga and hopping out the window.

Fisrt kill will undoubtedly be followed by "I bet you'd like to use those legs to get away now"

 

[Mr.Gompers]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr4PcOQYFAw

What more needs to be said? Really?

 

[XIGBARx13]

I would yell "WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOOOOOOOONE!?" while I chopped the spiders' legs off with my ninja sword.

 

[jamradar]

Who needs a weapon when we have the power of imagination.

*tries to kill giant spider with imagination*

Ok on second thought not such a good idea.

ALERT THE EDF

 

[SD-Fiend]

smashes with giant mallet to quote shinjiro: adios Asshole

 

[Irony's Acolyte]

The dagger I got in my room. I should be able to pull a Samwise and kill the spider with it if I'm quick enough.

As for what I'd say?

I'd just play "Spider" by They Might Be Giants while I kill them.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

You can spin silk eh? Silk can't stop a fist ************.

 

[astrav1]

A katana. "It's about time somebody knocked you down 8 pegs!" or, "I'll cut the silk from your spinneret and make a 3 piece suit!" or, if I'm against a trap door spider, "IT'S A TRAP!"

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

I'd get a larger pet spider to protect me. I like spiders that don't try to bite me.