Stupidest Online Teammates

[Jailbird408]

Picture this: You're playing Smash bros and you've got an opponent stuck in a Pitfall, you're about to smash them out of the ring, when suddenly your other opponent, who is currently losing badly, smacks you upside the head, allowing your trapped opponent to free themselves. And the freed opponent is a Kirby, whose tactics consist of spamming his specials. And then the timer runs out and he wins by one point.

Yes, not so much stupid teammates as really annoying noobs, but this scenario happens to me so much I had to put it here.

 

[Existential Banana]

Every once in a while when I'm playing League of Legends I get the teammates who are pros and spend the entire match yelling at me about how bad I am. The sad thing is that they're in bot matches so I'm probably doing terribly because I'm testing a new champion or build. Also... anyone who feels compelled to kill me for the Sniper Rifle in Halo.

 

[BRMXJzjsoawk321]

-

 

[Worgen]

The griefers in halo reach. Not stupid just annoying. They pilot a falcon, then jump out nd hope you are stuck in an oean/off cliff or out of bounds.

The guys who dont go after the objective, BFBC2 was the worst gameI played for this. Everyone was pretty mch "hurr im a sniper, derp" go for the fucking objective, thats the fucing gamemode, destroying the objectives.

I dont get non combat snipers, when I go sniper I tend to always be aggressive as hell, pushing ahead to try and find a good spot to snipe but that I can also let my squad mates respawn from so they will be close to the objective

as for bad teammates, Im going to have to go with league of legends, it seems to have gotten much better since the tribunal came out but you still will either end up with a bad team or an ass or both

 

[Lullabye]

Heroes of Newerth and League of Legends for me, are notorious for stupid team mates. If you're not good at the game, fine, but don't go blaming everyone else on your team because you're playing pebbles and throwing the supports into all of the opposing team. >:/

This. Soooooo this.
'Pantheon skyfalls into a 2v4'
'An ally has been slain'
Pantheon:'WTF WHY U GUYS NO HELP WE OBVIOUSLY NEED HELP U ALL NOOBBBBB!!!!1!!111!!'
Meanwhile on the other side of the map....
'whats wrong with him?'
'dunno'

 

[Shakomaru]

Can I use myself? I was playing Engineer in TF2 and the same spy killed me about seven times in the exact same spot. It made me so angry I went Pyro and torched him. but really, I fell for that way too many times...

 

[Saltyk]

I play xbox, so I have far too many of these stories to count, here's my favourite;

Enter a game of sabotage in MW2, one of our team mates first 'tactical suggestions' is to "don't bother planting the bomb guys, I want to get some kills."

*Facepalm*

I think I have a comparable experience from MAG on PS3. Playing a game of Sabotage (oddly enough) with some clan mates and I was the squad leader for our group. We had to defend position A.

Spoiler: Quick summary of the game type for those that don't know.

Starts off with two positions that the attacking force has to take control of at the same time. Once this is accomplished, they have to set a bomb at a third position that will detonate after about 30 seconds. Worth noting that the round timer stops when the bomb is set.

Well, the Platoon Leader (highest leadership position in that game mode) comes across and tells the entire team to leave A and defend B. My group asked if we were going to listen to which I said "Hell, no!" So, my clan mates and I defended our position by ourselves while the Platoon commander called us idiots for not listening to him. The best part was when they lost B and we retook A. I took that chance to mock him to which he responded, "I didn't say you guys sucked."

Good times.

 

[Someone lost on TVTropes]

TF2: You're in a game with a medicless team that's getting steam rolled by the opposing team, when one of your team's 4+ snipers (or spies) at the bottom of the scoreboard decides to say something along the lines of "omG, tis team suks!1!" or "will some1 plz go medic." Or how about when no one goes for the objective and the game turns into team deathmatch. Then there are the medics that pay no attention to you, even if you're burning with <30 health mashing the e key. Instead, their attention lies on the overhealed heavy who's not even getting shot, nor near the frontline.

L4D: Of course there's the people who think they're John McClane or a T-800 and just go straight to the safe room and getting jumped by a hunter instead of helping their teammates or informing them of the rush. Then there's the people who carelessly shoot their teammates or the witch. This of course leads to them just blaming the team instead of accepting their mistakes and improving.

I try to maintain good sportsmanship and etiquette online and help struggling, new players. But sometimes the stupidity can get to me.

 

[Blueruler182]

My friend and I, we were playing Halo 3. My friend has a nasty habit of getting bored and trying to snipe me, and his aim is so bad that I've learned to ignore it. One of those times, after running with the shots sounding around me, there was a sudden silence followed by a bursting laughter. I turned around and found a dead guy and a sword behind me. My friend had killed an invisible sword player in mid lung trying to snipe me.

We decided to end the game session on that. I mean, how do we beat a night like that?

 

[FFHAuthor]

ANY Battlefield Bad Company 2 player who team kills you so they can fly the damn chopper and just uses the damn thing to nose dive into the objective hop out, and get shot. For FUCKS SAKE, use the goddamn Blackhawk or the goddamn Apache for their intended purpose, FIRE SUPPORT not a TAXI. If you want a taxi, use an ATV or a jet ski, NOT THE CHOPPERS.

Plus if you can't fly the fucking thing for more than two seconds, DON'T FLY IT.

Ahem...yes...anyway, enough rage.


Snipers are fine in BC2, if you can actually manage to snipe and kill opponents. Someone who plays the entire game with 4 kills 0 deaths is a maddening team mate. Someone who's got 24 headshot kills and neutralized the entire enemy team's sniper support is okay in my book, since he's actually contributing, and .50 round into the forehead from a Barrett somewhat curtails planting the charge on Rush.

 

[Dogstile]

6/0 KD at the bottom of our team's scoreboard.


So next time our whole squad dies on an objective, I spawn behind him and shoot him in the head.

Erm... How does that work out? I mean, if you shoot him in the head surely he'd have a few deaths

Mines TF2 "YES MR SPY, YOU'RE ON TOP OF THEIR SENTRY, PLEASE DISABLE IT SO I CAN SHOOT IT WITH MY MINIGUN"

"NO, YOU'LL STEAL MY SENTRY KILL"

...*facepalm*

 

[Biosophilogical]

Long sword/SwAxe users in Monster Hunter Tri. They just sit there tripping everyone, and they have some weird trip-proof thing whenever they are doing a combo so you'd get 2+ trippers spamming a monster (then getting buggered because they don't dodge, or go attacking my bomb or whatever) and no-one else can get in a hit[footnote]I am a SnS user all the way (I can use hammers and bowguns well, greatswords well enough, and could 'not fail miserably' with lances and longswords, I can't use SwAxes, but I am best with a Sword and Shield), so my favourite allies are hammer-ers and lancers, the former because with a combination of paralysis/sleep (my job) and K.O. damage (hammer's job which I help with between their power-hits) you can have a monster unable to move half the time, get all the parts broken and have plenty of opportunities for traps, healing, sharpening and bombs, the latter because they rarely interupt my attacks, can use high attacks (out of sword range), contribute to cutting tails, rarely need me to bail them out of tough situations, and all but the worst of them pull their own weight. But for a Sns user, your biggest enemy isn't the monster, it is those bloody tripping/launching bastards ruining any semblance of strategy and finesse because they are too pre-occupied swinging their over-sized swords around.[/footnote]. In case my footnote isn't obvious, I really hate longsworders and SwAxers. There have been a few cases where I've battled with talented fighters that favour those weapons, but those cases are few and far between, I'd much rather have a hammer user as my only ally than a full group of longsworders or SwAxers.

 

[Loonyyy]

6/0 KD at the bottom of our team's scoreboard.


So next time our whole squad dies on an objective, I spawn behind him and shoot him in the head.

Erm... How does that work out? I mean, if you shoot him in the head surely he'd have a few deaths

Mines TF2 "YES MR SPY, YOU'RE ON TOP OF THEIR SENTRY, PLEASE DISABLE IT SO I CAN SHOOT IT WITH MY MINIGUN"

"NO, YOU'LL STEAL MY SENTRY KILL"

...*facepalm*

It was 6/0. Then I shot him. He died. 6/1. Went on to go 14/19 and actually got a cap, could drive a mean Abrams, once he discovered that no-one gave a shit that someone had finally put a bullet in his head. And thus, a Gold Squad was born.

 

[Mute52]

Every person playing TF2 since after the War update.

Just go back and play Call of Duty or whatever game taught you how to play multiplayer shooters.

 

[Dragonheart57]

I don't get many stupid people on my own team, although I do hate medics in TF2 for focusing on heavies when I'm burning, but I have seen some other teams with incredibly stupid people. One guy in particular, in TF2, while playing as a spy, tried to sap my sentry 5-6 times with the same disguise, and the same tactic of running straight up to me.

 

[Leemaster777]

I won't say this guy was particularly STUPID, but he did hit me with a bit of a dick move.

It was L4D2, and at the end of a campaign, we were on the rooftop level, and the helicopter had just landed. All three of my teammates had made it to the chopper, but a gang of zombies rushed me, and slowed me down.

I was low on health, no health packs, but the chopper was DAMN close. Zombies on my heels, I sprinted to the chopper... and one of my bastard teammates used a sniper rifle and shot me in the head, just so they could get out of there right then.

I would have started cursing, but I actually found it kind of funny in the moment.

 

[Akyho]

Battlefeild 2. EVERYONE GRABS A TRANSPORT VEHICAL AND DRIVES OR FLYS AWAY!!!

1 person with a nice big helicopter that can seat 6 more people.......has flown off. Worst of it?
WE ARE ON A MOTHER AIRCRAFT CARRIER! and have to wait till another boat or helicopter spawns an pray one person just dosnt fly off with it.

 

[Kahunaburger]

In any objective/team-based multiplayer game, it is a universally acknowledged truth that when you are losing, it is because everyone on your team is worse than you are