Super Villain Plot Game

[username sucks]

Secretly alter them so that all taxes in the US are payed to me!

A burrito

 

[Scarim Coral]

This but on a global scale!!!

An action figure

 

[username sucks]

Put an AI in it, then I will have the best minion ever!

A ruler

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

WITH THIS RULER, I WILL KNOCK OUT A GUARD AND TAKE 40 CAKES!

An extra soft rubber ducky.

 

[username sucks]

Use the light on the bottom to blind any would-be heroes!

A deck of cards

 

[Fractral]

I use secret bar codes on the cards to rig games in my favor. Eventually I win enough money to buy the whole world.

A copy of 'Big Rigs'.

 

[username sucks]

Kroagan women love scars, so I will use the flask to get them to conquer the galaxy in my name.

A can of soda.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I will shake it for so long that once I open it, it will become a carbonize bomb!

A comb

 

[PsychicTaco115]

I can't go on TV with my demands for the safe release of the hostages without looking my best!

An empty cup

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Break the cup, use one of the shards to carve my way out of my, break open the prison's sewer system, do not appear for morning checks... Wait till one of the guards is climbing through the pipes to release "Buffalo Taco Special" on one of the toilets.

A pure orphan child of undying goodness.

 

[username sucks]

They always make the best hostages.

Jingle bells!

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

A rough house street urchin who has the unstoppable desire to shank you.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

There's no one better to practice sadistic medical surgeries on!

A copy of Atlas Shrugged

 

[Sean Renaud]

I'll force them to read John Galt's speech until they can recite it from memory and then send them off to the RNC, I'll make quite certain to imbed a subliminal hint about commiting suicide.

A Virtua Boy

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: Easy

The Bible.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I don't think you have to kill anybody with a Bible. I think you actually have to actively prevent people from enacting a criminal plot with any religious book.

Rule 34

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Spoiler: CORRUPT THE INNOCENT!

A sinking boat.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Put everyone on the sinking boat!!!

A pair of mittens.