Suppose God gave you the keys to the car...
- Thread starter shadowstriker86
- Start date
Recommended Videos
You still could have prevented it by taking the godly powers though. Its honestly not your/gods problem.Screamarie said:
Lets assume god is real, I would not expect them to give up their life to save everyone else. It would actually annoy me having someone control everything so absolutely.
I'd for one go to some very strong news outlet and just come the f*** out with the truth:
I'm God, yes I exist, no I don't care if you believe, no the previous one wasn't doing anything about the world's problems either, the world and the universe pretty much runs themselves like clockwork so there's very little need for me to get directly involved with anything (hence evolution isn't a lie), no the bible isn't my word seeing as it was written some thousands of years ago by nomadic tribes in the desert who in no way shape or form are remotely qualified to write rules about how you live your lives in modern times, I do NOT hate fags, I was never in favor of slavery, I was never in favor of witch-burnings, the inquisitors and all those responsible for allowing them to get any semblance of power have been thoroughly punished, yes I will do something about the world's problems as I'm now all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresent and benevolent, allow me to kick-start scientific know-how by a few billion years so as to show humanity all secrets of the known and unknown universe and multiverse so we could more quickly develop into a Star Trek future and meet the Aliens.
I'm God, yes I exist, no I don't care if you believe, no the previous one wasn't doing anything about the world's problems either, the world and the universe pretty much runs themselves like clockwork so there's very little need for me to get directly involved with anything (hence evolution isn't a lie), no the bible isn't my word seeing as it was written some thousands of years ago by nomadic tribes in the desert who in no way shape or form are remotely qualified to write rules about how you live your lives in modern times, I do NOT hate fags, I was never in favor of slavery, I was never in favor of witch-burnings, the inquisitors and all those responsible for allowing them to get any semblance of power have been thoroughly punished, yes I will do something about the world's problems as I'm now all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresent and benevolent, allow me to kick-start scientific know-how by a few billion years so as to show humanity all secrets of the known and unknown universe and multiverse so we could more quickly develop into a Star Trek future and meet the Aliens.
Do absolutely nothing big and important and flashy.
However generally help people with the small stuff. Say your in the queue for groceries and your a euro short. BAM theres one in you back pocket you forgot about.
Your walking down the street and a bird is about to crap on you. BAM It misses you by a few centimetres.
That book you always wanted to read? BAM Look carefully at the back of the second hand bookshelf.
Just the little things in life. After all if God has given me powers it means that the devil is real and the last thing you want to do is upset the balance.
However generally help people with the small stuff. Say your in the queue for groceries and your a euro short. BAM theres one in you back pocket you forgot about.
Your walking down the street and a bird is about to crap on you. BAM It misses you by a few centimetres.
That book you always wanted to read? BAM Look carefully at the back of the second hand bookshelf.
Just the little things in life. After all if God has given me powers it means that the devil is real and the last thing you want to do is upset the balance.
Probably make some evolutionary jumps, get rid of some of those dead ends. And I'd try to steer humanity in an interesting direction...
...you know, play it like a video game
...you know, play it like a video game
Make myself a fashionable golden armor, and call myself the God Emperor of Mankind.
Then I would mess about different mythologies and historical happenings, so I could ride around the world on a T-Rex with a Valkyrie in each arm and barrels of beer in the trunk.
I will unite the world with the sheer power of awesomeness.
Then I would mess about different mythologies and historical happenings, so I could ride around the world on a T-Rex with a Valkyrie in each arm and barrels of beer in the trunk.
I will unite the world with the sheer power of awesomeness.
Make people collectively smarter then go be the largest troll ever and i shall call myself discord!
Eh, I'm not sure I could deal with all that power. Maybe I'd just ask for a bit of it, and use the power to screw with people...
I'd probably go with magic to. Except like really complicated magic that seems to follow the laws of the universe so that people would still be frustrated trying to figure it out.Latinidiot said:
I'm kind of a prick.
Completely fuck with people for eternity.
Seriously, Sheogorath would have nothing on me, I would troll the shit out of everyone, appearing to each of the world leaders and taking all their power from them, then go to all the religious leaders, tell them they have been doing it wrong, with all the wars and all, say the holy books were a joke I cooked up with me and my buddy Satan and am thoroughly disappointed with them. Then, I would spend the rest of time as overlord of everything, creating shit and ruling earth with an iron fist. Eventually when I get bored I would create humanity into something like the 41ST millennium in 40K, me being the emprah. Then, when I get bored of that, tell my main advisers that I am dying, and going to reincarnate, then I wipe my mind and teleport myself somewhere and relearn my awesome abilities and let my empire flourish over new command, letting new ideas flow and old traditions die. Then, finally, when I regain my memories, recreate every fantasy universe I can think of, from Lord of the Rings to My Little Pony, just wondering about the universes, taking on the role of the prophetic old wise man, travelling through space and time on a whim.
Seriously, Sheogorath would have nothing on me, I would troll the shit out of everyone, appearing to each of the world leaders and taking all their power from them, then go to all the religious leaders, tell them they have been doing it wrong, with all the wars and all, say the holy books were a joke I cooked up with me and my buddy Satan and am thoroughly disappointed with them. Then, I would spend the rest of time as overlord of everything, creating shit and ruling earth with an iron fist. Eventually when I get bored I would create humanity into something like the 41ST millennium in 40K, me being the emprah. Then, when I get bored of that, tell my main advisers that I am dying, and going to reincarnate, then I wipe my mind and teleport myself somewhere and relearn my awesome abilities and let my empire flourish over new command, letting new ideas flow and old traditions die. Then, finally, when I regain my memories, recreate every fantasy universe I can think of, from Lord of the Rings to My Little Pony, just wondering about the universes, taking on the role of the prophetic old wise man, travelling through space and time on a whim.
Free Bacon and Irn Bru for everybody! And for those vegetarians or people who don't like Irn Bru, I make sure that scientists are working on the near impossible task of coming up with suitable replacements.
I make sure Scotland win the World Cup at least once, so the English commentators would perhaps finally shut up about 1966.
Then if I overhear any cool ideas from the Earth-folk I try to implement them as subtly as possible.
Otherwise, for the majority I'll play it like the way I play The Sims. Start off getting them all jobs and making sure they are having appropriate amounts of fun and not pissing on the floor, then eventually I get bored and place them in a room, surround them with highly flammable objects and put a fireplace there to let it burn.
Captcha: heavy metal
Good idea, captcha! We'll throw in some heavy metal as well. Although when I become God, captcha, I'm afraid you're out.
I make sure Scotland win the World Cup at least once, so the English commentators would perhaps finally shut up about 1966.
Then if I overhear any cool ideas from the Earth-folk I try to implement them as subtly as possible.
Otherwise, for the majority I'll play it like the way I play The Sims. Start off getting them all jobs and making sure they are having appropriate amounts of fun and not pissing on the floor, then eventually I get bored and place them in a room, surround them with highly flammable objects and put a fireplace there to let it burn.
Captcha: heavy metal
Good idea, captcha! We'll throw in some heavy metal as well. Although when I become God, captcha, I'm afraid you're out.
I would Create an exact copy of the world.
I would then use the copied world as my plaything, ending the world with all the apocalypses to see how the world would react to survive, I'm talking Zombies, fallout, natural disasters etc. Meanwhile I will be fixing the original world since it's so fucking broken....
I would then use the copied world as my plaything, ending the world with all the apocalypses to see how the world would react to survive, I'm talking Zombies, fallout, natural disasters etc. Meanwhile I will be fixing the original world since it's so fucking broken....
Who the hell wants that kind of responsibility? I'd legalize weed, eradicate the negative side-effects of other drugs, maybe get one last Legacy of Kain game made, change history so we elected Gore instead in 2000, then hand the omnipotence off to Morgan Freeman.
Edit: And make stupid people sterile. Biggest problem in the world is stupid people breeding.
Edit: And make stupid people sterile. Biggest problem in the world is stupid people breeding.
1: "Woah, what? Okay. Uhm. That is a little out of my usual every day experience Ultimate Deity Sir but I guess declining the offer by reason of sheer pants-on-head-inability is not good mojo? Da, si, I'll get started then".
2: Mark this particular moment of spacetime as a fallback point, so that, once unintended consequences causes everything to spiral out of control I can roll everything back to here and start over.
3: Thinking carefully about this and considering the ratio of madness / fun in the world, do just one thing - cause every, and I mean every, action done with the hostile intent of killing someone sentient petter out into harmlessness. Murder? Sorry, your knife turned out to be a bit brittle and snapped. Firing shots at infidels? You miss and miss and miss and miss. Profesional constable in an army? Your grenades are all duds.
Naturally everyone is going to go rather batshit insane for a good while, but, hopefully, after the initial terror and shock by the worlds unified scientist community and every person who wants to visit violence on someone else, everyone will realize that killing others no longer work.
Oh i'm sure they'll work something out with deep holes or broken arms, but not every plan is perfect.
Kinda forces everyone to sit down and talk it out.
Then they can take it from there.
(also? Arcanum 2 sounds good. Definitively get my omnipotence working on that)
2: Mark this particular moment of spacetime as a fallback point, so that, once unintended consequences causes everything to spiral out of control I can roll everything back to here and start over.
3: Thinking carefully about this and considering the ratio of madness / fun in the world, do just one thing - cause every, and I mean every, action done with the hostile intent of killing someone sentient petter out into harmlessness. Murder? Sorry, your knife turned out to be a bit brittle and snapped. Firing shots at infidels? You miss and miss and miss and miss. Profesional constable in an army? Your grenades are all duds.
Naturally everyone is going to go rather batshit insane for a good while, but, hopefully, after the initial terror and shock by the worlds unified scientist community and every person who wants to visit violence on someone else, everyone will realize that killing others no longer work.
Oh i'm sure they'll work something out with deep holes or broken arms, but not every plan is perfect.
Kinda forces everyone to sit down and talk it out.
Then they can take it from there.
(also? Arcanum 2 sounds good. Definitively get my omnipotence working on that)