Tales of Really Dumb Teammates

[Muspelheim]

Another TF2-example. It happens rather regurally. I've built up an übercharge and buddied-up with a heavy or soldier who doesn't seem too low on ammo. There's a few sentries and enemies ahead, all we have to do is gun them down while we're invulnerable.

I übercharge him, and... He just stands around. Perhaps run up a bit, but he isn't going anywhere near the enemies. If he do attack, it's when we're at 5% charge or right after it wears off. Then, it's suddenly all my fault. Lovely...

And in the middle of it all, people with full health and without means or reasons to do rocketjumps, spam the medic-button.

 

[copycatalyst]

I've also seen an increase in worthless Engineers as well.

This is the first thing that came to my mind. So many engineers will either build at spawn as you said, bringing it into battle far too late (if they even survive the carry), or they will build right beside me. Sentries should never be side by side! Also, don't leech all the metal from my dispenser, build your own first! And don't forget to build a teleporter entrance before you leave the start area! And help each other remove sappers! Assist with repairs and reloads and upgrades and and and uraggh!

Whew. Sorry. I've just been playing a lot of engie lately because I dig the new laser rifle, and this stuff just keeps frustrating me so much. Especially building side by side. I wish one of the tips during loading would address this, maybe help give some new players the right idea.

 

[A Weary Exile]

Just yesterday on TF2. Playing Medic, healing a pyro with less than a minute left. I finally get my uber up and hit it, the pyro does nothing for a few seconds then finally moves towards the enemy sentry nest. When he gets there? He taunts. Lost us the game. -_-

 

[A Weary Exile]

Oh God, don't remind me. Spy is my favorite class to play in TF2, yet I hardly get a chance anymore because four other players are always Spies (and they usually suck at it).

So much this. Spy used to be my absolute best and favorite class, but I'm now completely out of practice because of all the terribad spies that fill up servers.

On the upside: I'm significantly better at Scout, Soldier, and Demoman now because I was forced to play them so much.

 

[Fijiman]

This may sound unfair but anybody that plays L4D without a mic automatically gets lumped into the "Shitty Player" category by default.Especially on the 360.

Yes. Honestly it's stupid that there are so many people on the 360 who don't use a mic. This goes especially for any game like L4D where you need to work together.

I was playing Halo: Reach when this guy was on the enemy team. I watched him fire rockets at his own team, kill them, then attempt to pick up the flag they had stolen from us. In essence he took out the enemy team for us and saved us from loosing a flag.

Any asshole who will kill you just to get the power weapons/objective can go burn in hell for all I care.

God, I would probably have a lot of stories to tell here if I could remember half of them. Most of them would be from Halo, but like I said I can't remember half of them. However, I've got a couple from Iron Brigade back when it was still Trenched.

I was playing on Volcano with a group of random guys and all three of them were sitting right in front of one of the spawns. One of them even managed to get behind the spawn twice before I left.(I wasn't going to stay in a game with idiots who don't know what they're doing) I had another case where I was playing with a friend and we got into a game with two randoms (again on Volcano) and one of the idiots went to the enemy farthest from the objective and sat there for half the match. The other one ran around putting half his turrets in really stupid places, like putting a mark 1 collection pod ten feet away from my mark 3 level 3 pod or a machine gun turret right in the middle of the paths where they either got run over or shot up by the enemy.

 

[Smeggs]

Halo: Reach.

"I CALL [INSERT WEAPON OR VEHICLE]!"

Anybody who ever utters that phrase will almost always betray me at one point in the game because their dumb ass is awful at using said weapon or vehicle and they don't realize it.

I once joined a match where some little ***** would not stop hopping in my line of fire while I was in the tank because he wanted it and was hoping that I'd betray him and he'd be able to boot me.

"FINE! CHRIST! TAKE THE STUPID TANK!"
"LOL Noob, now watch how a pro does it."

I jetpack up to the top of the mountain on...whatever the name of that Forge World variant is and begin raining down death upon the mortals. What do I see but the "Pro" charging headlong with the tank into what could only be described as a wall of death. Laser, grenade launcher, pretty much the entire Blue team was coming right at him and he kept missing like a scrub. HOW DO YOU MISS WITH EXPLOSIVE SHELLS?! THEY EXPLODE!

So I continue my slaughter from the tank atop the mountain as he gets blown up by a rain of grenade and a laser shot, then bitched out by my fellow team members.

 

[Luftwaffles]

Snip

Im probably gonna get some flak for this, but i blame the influx of spies on the dead ringer.

Imean,im all for the "if its in the game use it" mechanic but the DR is just...too easy.

My story...uuhh cant remember all of them. People who dont move up in bc2. Spearhead an assault to find that the rest of the team still lagging behind. Keeping enemies occupied with the chopper and still losing the match (my gunner had 40+ kills and im 2nd on the scoreboard with 0/1)

Imean sure, getting the most kills doesnt mean you win in team based games, but dammit it counts for something. /rant

 

[phage83]

what i really hate is when the people that get on your case ARE good but rage at you for not doing what they want then don't help you out. that's what i hate the people that rage at you but don't help.

 

[FateOrFatality]

Was playing MW3 (yes, yes, COD is terrible, but my friends play it so...) yesterday. It was Domination, and five of my teammates and I were taking an objective from the enemy. They'd left an obviously fake care package there, but one of my teammates decided to pick it up, meaning all five of us died from it.

 

[A Weary Exile]

Snip

Im probably gonna get some flak for this, but i blame the influx of spies on the dead ringer.

Imean,im all for the "if its in the game use it" mechanic but the DR is just...too easy.

My story...uuhh cant remember all of them. People who dont move up in bc2. Spearhead an assault to find that the rest of the team still lagging behind. Keeping enemies occupied with the chopper and still losing the match (my gunner had 40+ kills and im 2nd on the scoreboard with 0/1)

Imean sure, getting the most kills doesnt mean you win in team based games, but dammit it counts for something. /rant

Oh good lord in heaven do I hate the Dead Ringer, it rewards bad spies. You can catch them and know they're a Dead Ringer immediately, but you have to waste x amount of time chasing them down and waiting for the buff to wear off. Such an annoying sidegrade.

It could be fixed easily. Just decrease the amount of time that the damage resistance buff lasts for (1-2 seconds) that way spies who use it improperly can get their asses handed to them quicker and they won't be a huge friggin distraction.

 

[Silas13013]

TF2 engineers who don't build teleporters
TF2 mass spies and snipers
TF2 medic-spamming heavy
TF2 medic who ignores everyone else in favor of their heavy

L4d players that don't communicate. I don't care if you don't have a mic (I play PC) but for fucks sake, if you don't know what you are doing, ask. This is even more true when playing verses and/or expert level campaign.

CoD players who insist on being sniper but suck at it.

Starcraft 2 2v2, 3v3, or 4v4 players who rush. I can understand if the entire team rushes (it's incredibly annoying but I at least understand it as a tactic) But when one player on a 4 man team decides to 6-pool or proxy-gate without informing anyone of their plans, they just get crushed. Every damn time.

 

[Reaper195]

Was playing a CTF match in Halo quite a few years ago., I had the flag, and the flag destination was in the middle of an epic shootout with everyone else. This one team mate comes up behind me and starts complaining that we're losing because of me not going to drop the flag off. I tell him "Dude...there is a massive area where anyone running slowly with a flag will get ass raped.". This dick then kills me, takes the flag, runs forward around the corner I was hiding and gets hit by a sniper rifle, a Spartan laser and a plasma grenade all at the same time. I then took pictures of it later in saved film from multiple angles and sent them to the dude, thanking him for loosing the match for us.

 

[Random Fella]

Skyrim, around level 6, follow wearing steel armor, goes and attacks a group of giants who are passive
Freakin' AI system -.- had to load so far back...

Oh you mean online with people?
People on cod who camp, but are so terrible that you have time after they shoot you to locate them and kill them, once someone was camping in a corner and fired at me point blank range, only to have me turn around and kill him, how can you be so stupid?
Also quickscopers, sure you think it looks cool but having 10-30 on team deathmatch doesn't make you 'pro'
I need to find a better online game to play D:

 

[Frozen Donkey Wheel2]

Well, they weren't teammates, but I think it counts. My friend and I were playing 2v2 Oddball in Halo 3, and we had to explain to the other team that you had to pick up the ball to score points. Well, we couldn't hear them, but we ran up to them and yelled "YOU HAVE TO PICK UP THE BALL!!!" during the ensuing fight, and after they respawned, they started scoring.

Still won, though. Probably 'cause we waited until we had 99 points before telling them. We actually dropped the ball at exactly 99 points solely for that purpose.

 

[Darth_Dude]

Story from League of Legends. Bad teammate, or master planner? You decide!

A team of 4 picks their characters, the fifth waits for a minute, then locks in Teemo.

When the match starts, he runs straight to mid turret and dies to their mid. He respawns (using revive) and does it again. By this point, his team is raging and attacking him, threatening to report him for intentionally losing. But they play on.

Teemo continues to die at the enemy hands, only stopping occasionally to kill a creep or two. At 20 minutes in, he is 0/10/0. Team rages, but manages to tie one lane, and win the other. Teemo is building pure attack speed and movement speed. The troll build. The team is freaking out. A teamfight gets under way, and Teemo's team is in good position, and wins despite Teemo not being there. Teemo was knocking down a turret. His mushrooms had allowed the team to see the enemy a mile away.

Another fight at dragon, Teemo's team wins due to sight of enemy, and Teemo knocks down another turret. The enemy team decides to stop Teemo, and kills him... for 22 gold. Because he never attacked the enemy, and multiple deaths decrease gold earned from killing you, he was essentially worthless to kill.

The plan was clear. Teemo with revive and high movement, could fly around the map at lightning speed, teleport to undefended turrets and take them out, all without fear of retribution because of how little gold the enemy would gain. A battle at Baron end with Teemo's team taking the buff, and a minute later, Teemo knocked down the final 2 turrets and ended the game.

His final score: 0/31/2 with the assists coming from Mushrooms. And yet... without him, the team would have lost.

Wow, that guys deserves a medal!

Must have been hell for you early on though..