Teaching kids about homosexuality

[Zorrok the Merciless]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

 

[101flyboy]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

Um............funny trolling?

 

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I laugh at people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

That I can agree with. Lots of 'bisexual' kids running around because it's the cool thing to be this week. My point was just that in my oppinion, information is important when building tolerance. If she doesn't know about gays, they'll always be strange and different. Teach a kid from the start that people are different and like different things, and maybe the social stigma will eventually go away.

But there's a difference between learning about sex and teach kids about sexual orientations. Homosexuality is something for when they're a bit older methinks.

Heterosexuality is sex, and homosexuality is sex. Homosexuality is sexual orientation, and heterosexuality is sexual orientation.

 

[captainwolfos]

Being gay myself, this may seem somewhat biased, but here we go:

My parents, whether they admit it or not, are slightly homophobic. They didn't teach me about homosexuality at all, and reflecting back, I wish they had. I figured out quite early on that I'm attracted to wimmenz, and that scared me. It took me a full six years to come out and be comfortable with it. (But still not nearly comfortable enough to tell my parents...)
Still, I wish they'd have told me about it early on. Maybe that way it would have been easier for me.

So yes. I would say tell the kid. Maybe not at the same time, or whatever, but make sure she knows.

Spoiler: And now for something completely different:

 

[101flyboy]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

"When a man and woman love each other very much, the man puts his penis into a woman's vagina, and that's how babies are made. Also sometimes men love men and so the man puts his penis into another man's anus, but this doesn't make babies. Alternatively they rub their penises together, which is called 'frottage'. Also, some people like to tie each other up and then pee on each other, though you should always ask permission from your partner before doing that. Also, sometimes people have sex for reasons other than love, such as for money, which is called 'prostitution', or for revenge, like when you saw mommy in bed with a man who wasn't daddy, which is called 'getting pay back for four long years of oppressive patriarchal dominance'."

Heh, that got kind of long.
Anyway, my point is that your job as a parent is to make things less confusing, not more. It's up to the individual parents how to do that. If homosexuality isn't a major issue in their kid's life, why make it one? I mean, I could make an argument about the importance of teaching your children about the hardships Irish immigrants in America went through, and why the Lucky Charms leprechaun is a horrible throw-back to extremely prejudiced attitudes towards the Irish. But try explaining that to a kid who just wants to eat the damn marshmallows.

 

[The Stonker]

Pretty good Bob.
Keep them comming.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

Obvious troll is obvious?

 

[101flyboy]

I don't think kids should get lectures about homosexuality forced on them. Just as I don't think they should get lectures about hetreosexuality forced on them. Let kids by nice and naive for a while before dumping all this complicated stuff on them.

If they're curious about the subject they'll ask you in their own due time... Unless ofcourse they don't know yet when they're about to enter high school, then you need to have a serious sit-down.

This seems reasonable on the surface, but it isn't. Because kids encounter heterosexuality and these days in most cases homosexuality on an every day basis. So, it's not something you can hide. Instead you need to teach kids about the facts of life so that when they do encounter these things or start realizing "hey, I'm attracted to ____," they aren't ignorant going into the situation, which could lead to bad decisions being made.

 

[Zorrok the Merciless]

I'm not sure how this could be considered a troll...I'm serious. Homosexuality is on the same level as bestiality and necrophilia. They're all wrong, wierd things that shouldn't happen but do, but only among the strange and confused. Kids don't need to know about any of that weird stuff until they're old enough to understand crazy people.

 

[101flyboy]

Well to be quite frank, hetrosexuality is the norm, as such it should be taught first unless there is a particular reason that warrants the mention of homosexuality (such as a gay family member or school friend, this will come up on it's own anyway, there's no need to force it).

This isn't homophobia, this isn't gay bashing or encroaching on 'gay pride', this is cold, hard speculation.

When dealing with kids it's best to keep things as simple as possible (like I said, if there is a gay family member they see on a regular basis or they are curious enough to bring it up on their own then by all means take the time to explain it and answer their questions), kids are almost guranteed to see hetrosexual people in most places and in the media so it's reasonable enough that this should be taught as what is normal (and most of us don't start developing our sexuality and identity until our teen years anyway).

For a lot of people it can be very stressful and painful trying to discover just what their sexual orientation is, do you really need to bring this kind of stress and pressure onto a kid even earlier? (we already panic enough about kids losing their childhood and being pushed into adulthood, do we need this on top of it?)

I understand and sympathise that homosexual people want more people to be aware of what it is to be gay and that you worry about kids inadvertantly becoming homophobic because of a lack of exposure or familiarity but I feel that you may be worrying over nothing here (hell, statistics show that on the whole things have gotten much better in terms of understanding and acceptance, most people out there are opposed to homophobia, even from previous problem groups such as Churchs and now are very supportive of more rights and equality for people of differing sexualities).

The only stress is starting to understand you like the same-sex and basically being told only heterosexuality is possible.

Most kids have same-sex thoughts. Homosexuality is normal. And homosexuality is a very real fact of life. Most kids encounter homosexual situations or individuals in their lives. Saying homophobia is not real is BULLSHIT. Homophobia is extremely real, which is why LGBT teens are 3-8 times more likely to commit suicide. More or less keeping homosexuality a secret and in the closet creates a culture of stigma, a culture of kids not understanding their feelings, and creates confusion.

There isn't anything not simple about homosexuality, either. Some men like men, some men like women. It's that simple.

Gay/lesbian kids deserve the knowledge, advice, guidance and help that straight kids have.

 

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

I'm going to have to agree with you.

Me too, it`s not gay-bashing to say this it is merely stating the truth and that is that heterosexuality is core to the human design.

And procreation is just one part of the entire spectrum of sexuality.

 

[Calderon0311]

Kids aren't supposed to learn about "what gets them off" at the age of 7.

They are supposed to learn very basic biology of where babies come from.

Whats next-- should toddlers be taught S&M techniques? Remember kids: make sure you can pronounce a safe word with a ball gag in your mouth!

So wrong and yet so right about the topic.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Kids aren't supposed to learn about "what gets them off" at the age of 7.

They are supposed to learn very basic biology of where babies come from.

Whats next-- should toddlers be taught S&M techniques? Remember kids: make sure you can pronounce a safe word with a ball gag in your mouth!

..except that there's a world of difference between "It's ok for a girl to love another girl" and describing something as graphic as S&M. I'm not talking about going into detail on the physicality of homosexuality with a kid, just to let her know that some people like people of their own gender and that that's fine.

 

[101flyboy]

But there's a difference between learning about sex and teach kids about sexual orientations. Homosexuality is something for when they're a bit older methinks.

Why?

Do you actually believe that people only discover that they are gay or bisexual at an older and "more appropriate" age?

Imagine how it must feel for the early bloomer who have only ben taught about heterosexuality, but feels an attraction towards someone of the same sex. Is it really worth putting them through those years of self-doubt because one thinks that homosexuality is something you should only learn about "when you're a bit older"? :S

The difference here is I think what the kids mother is doing is just teaching her child about the biology side of things, the "mechanics" if you will, not the emotional side. Sexual attraction is something a 7 year old doesn't generally feel, so there isn't really a need to teach them about homosexuality just yet because they aren't likely too encounter it at such a young age. If it comes up during conversation with their child or they ask about it, that's a different matter altogether though.

EDIT: I'm not meaning to say this is how you should teach your child if you do have one, merely explaining the rational of both this parent and the general public. As I said, if asked, parents should explain it, but there's no point in confusing a child with homo and heterosexual unless they actually ask if it happens.

By 7, kids are seeing people holding hands, in relationships, have probably heard about sex, and kids are developing sexually throughout their youth. Kids encounter homosexuality daily in many places. DAILY. Most kids have same-sex thoughts. Hiding this is effectively saying it's not acceptable.

The only confusion comes in where kids are feeling an attraction to the same-sex but don't understand it because they think everyone is supposed to be straight. That is where the confusion comes in.

 

[Popido]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

Good point.

After all, the whole point is to make sure that they wont do anything stupid and repeat their parents mistakes.

...
Sorry if you people feel left out, but you're not really that special.

 

[101flyboy]

I'm not sure how this could be considered a troll...I'm serious. Homosexuality is on the same level as bestiality and necrophilia. They're all wrong, wierd things that shouldn't happen but do, but only among the strange and confused. Kids don't need to know about any of that weird stuff until they're old enough to understand crazy people.

Interesting. As far as I know, homosexuality doesn't directly harm something/someone, like necrophilia and bestiality does. Also, as far as I know, homosexuality isn't classified as an illness in any way and is rampant in nature. And, as far as I know, gay/lesbian peeps aren't confused, they are just not straight.

But maybe I'm just imagining these things.

 

[mumakurau]

You shouldn't teach a kid about homosexuality for the same reason you shouldn't teach them about bestiality or necrophilia. They're not legitimate forms of reproduction or sex, even. They're just weird things people do to things that shouldn't be done to them. Teach them to keep their privates away from animals, dead people, and people of the same sex and then we all win!

Good point.

After all, the whole point is to make sure that they wont do anything stupid and repeat their parents mistakes.

i c wat u did thar