Teaching kids about homosexuality

[Saltyk]

First off, you can tell your child or step child whatever you think is appropriate in this situation. It's not for any of us to say.

I don't see any problem with not telling a seven year old about homosexuality. I'm actually surprised that they are telling the child about sex at all. Kids should be kids. We don't need to burden them with our own stupid prejudices or the truth of the world. There's a reason things were better when you were young. Your parents didn't make you face the dirty disgusting reality. Don't steal their childhood. If they ask about where babies come from, give them a very basic understanding of it. Something like "When a man and a woman fall in love, they can create babies. Often times, this process requires the help of doctors." If they ask for details, as a child, don't give them the gritty details. They are not mature enough to handle the facts of life. And what would a seven year old gain from knowing anything about sex or homosexuality? What seven year old would ask?

Even when they are more capable of handling it, I don't think there is any pressing need to tell of homosexuality. Not for fear of the catching teh gay, but to avoid overload. Sex is a lot for a young person to deal with. Adding to that with homosexuality or bisexuality is unnecessary. And when you do inform them of what it means to be homosexual, tell them in a non-biased way. Something like "Some people are attracted to others of the same gender. It is not very common, but there is nothing innately wrong with it."

Have some sense, people.

 

[Brain_Cleanser]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

I knew I was gay when I was in like... fifth grade. I'm pretty sure I like the dudes.

Anyway, since homosexuality is such a huge part of society now, it's pretty much not chill to not at least mention it. With my niece, she learned about it pretty quickly (she's 3), because both my aunts (her great aunts) are lesbians, and, like I said I'm gay. At least give it a passing mention, it'll come up sooner or later anyway.


My biggest problem with this whole situation is that she's 7. Isn't that still Stork territory? I didn't get the birds and the bees untill I was 10 or 11.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

My children would almost definitely be exposed to my gay friends from an early age and if they were curious I'd tell them, though I completely empathise with people that worry that their children might be conflicted because they can't be sure about their sexuality until at the least their late mid teens, and rarely even then (though I certainly have known people who came out at 16 after years of hiding it, unlike the horde of "bi" people at 13). However, they are going to be exposed to homophobia from quite a young age, and as soon as they hit Middle School or High School (depends on where you live, I never went to Middle School) they are going to either be accused of being gay, or they are going to be accusing other people of being gay because of a lack of understanding. So it is definitely beneficial for children to know about gay relationships, and indeed any sexuality they might come across as early as possible, before the lies and derogatory associations begin.

Young children should also be well informed, though as gently as possible, about sexual deviants that might try to abuse them. I'm not sure if the Just Say No scheme is still in place, but that was a good start when I was a kid, it should just make sure they're aware of what's right and wrong. Abusers are going to manipulate their lack of understanding.

So yes, children should definitely understand relationships between same sex partners, and that those people are just as important and good as any straight person like mummy or daddy. I certainly will be making sure they know. That other thing I mentioned will definitely be much harder, but it's important non the less.

 

[101flyboy]

Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, nonsexuality, etc, it should be said that none of that is important. None of that matters.
Kids should be taught that only love matters, it doesn't matter about the physical sex of the person.
Sure, tell them that only a heterosexual relationship brings a new life into the world (without the intervention of science), but don't make them think they have to go out and have kids. They can be who they want, and be with whoever they want. Plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted by loving parents anyway.

Yes, I agree with this. As long as you're in love and loved in return, what does it matter?

I don't understand people who think that teaching homosexuality to children at a young age either (a) encourages them (eh?) or (b) is somehow inappropriate. I mean, surely by the same viewpoint you could argue that just teaching them about heterosexuality is 100% guaranteed to make them straight, or warning them about child molesters is 100% guaranteed to make them a victim to one. Just by teaching a child that there are people who have sex with people of the same gender and that that's all right doesn't automatically mean your kid is going to be gay.

As I said in my post, this is an entirely different discussion. There's a big difference between explaining the mechanics of sexual intercourse to a child and teaching a child about different sexualities. Especially since this usually stems from kid asking "Where do babies come from?" Babies come from sperm meeting an egg and fertilising it, which generally only comes from, you guessed it! Heterosexual sex.

The birds and the bees are a discussion of sexual relationships. Heterosexuality is not the only open or available sexual relationship.

 

[101flyboy]

no, homosexuality is filled with political bs that kids just wont understand, keep it simple with what most people know, if she encounters it then explain it but otherwise thats a topic for later on.

Keeping it simple is simply telling kids that "some men like men, some men like women." That's as simple as it gets. Ignoring it is not keeping it simple, that's creating a stigma around the situation. Keeping it till "later on" will create a child confused when they start realizing they may not be, and that the society around them, is not 100% straight.

 

[Koski]

Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, nonsexuality, etc, it should be said that none of that is important. None of that matters.
Kids should be taught that only love matters, it doesn't matter about the physical sex of the person.
Sure, tell them that only a heterosexual relationship brings a new life into the world (without the intervention of science), but don't make them think they have to go out and have kids. They can be who they want, and be with whoever they want. Plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted by loving parents anyway.

Exactly that.

 

[One of Many]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

True, no sex no baby but sex does not equal love. While I would agree that kids should be taught about test tube babies and artificial insemination, what point would there be in adding a blurb saying something along the lines of "Gays are okay and have sex too", when we're teaching kids about the biology part of making a baby?

 

[mental_looney]

At 7 don't teach them about sex or sexuality you can still get away with when a mummy and daddy or even two people love each other very much they have a special hug and it makes a baby then it grows and then you go to the hospital and come back with the baby, it's nothing to do with either orientation just the basic where babies come from as those are two different talks

Yes relationships and orientation are really important but at this stage if it's just basic procreation you don't need to go into relationships or oreientation of either kind in any great details...

 

[Gigano]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

I still believe they need to be at an age where they can comprehend the concept of sexuality - rather than mere romancing - before engaging in explaining the many varied forms of harmless sexual attractions, innocent and equal as they are to any reasonable adult.

There are many varied sexual attractions which do no harm - coprophilia, consensual bondage etc - and which are thus all completely and utterly OK, but I'm not convinced that relegating them to the child without it giving any prior reason or showing any prior interest in them will always provoke a positive long-term reaction.

Let the child give reason for such discussion. If it see two men kissing, and ask questions, then explain it, and once it's ready to learn about sex and sexual attraction a wide range of sexual attractions - or at least the fact that they're all totally OK as long as they're consensual - should of course be discussed.

 

[101flyboy]

As I said in my post, this is an entirely different discussion. There's a big difference between explaining the mechanics of sexual intercourse to a child and teaching a child about different sexualities.

I can see where you're coming from, but if I were explaining the mechanics of sexual intercourse to my child simply as a way of making babies, they may then get confused when they are exposed to homosexual scenarios (in a book, films, classmates, whatever) where no child can be produced. Ergo, I would explain that heterosexual sex alone can produce children, but there are people who are attracted to people of the same sex, and this cannot produce children. From my own perspective, I would also tell my child I consider neither situation better or worse than the next one, so long as my child is happy. You can't really discuss the mechanics of sex by itself without considering the emotional impact, as it is a social situation that involves the feelings of two (...or more) people.

I can see what you mean, but in the edit of the post you quoted, which I put in after you quoted me, I said that usually this talk come from a child asking where babies come from. In that scenario, explaining homosexual sex would be bit confusing for them. Plus I can't really think of any scenario where a child of 7 would be exposed to homosexual themes and I believe if they were, they'd ask their parents about it, which they should then lead to them explaining it to their child. I'm not against explaining homosexuality to children by any means, but I think there aren't many situations where it's necessary.

Explaining homosexuality isn't confusing unless you make it confusing. Simply saying that some are heterosexual and some are homosexual is not confusing. YOU may be confused but that doesn't make it confusing in general. And yes, it is very necessary to teach kids about homosexuality, since most kids have homosexual thoughts, a major amount of kids are homosexual themselves, and the truth is, most kids do encounter some type of homosexual situation in their youth. Keeping it all secretive is what creates confusion.

 

[Fleaman]

Just do everything. Hold a three-day seminar to cover all the crazy shit that's gonna go down between fourth and eighth grade: sex, sexuality, puberty, popularity, and drugs.

Monday: Where babies come from
Tuesday: Hair down there
Wednesday: Weeeeeeeeeed

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

True, no sex no baby but sex does not equal love. While I would agree that kids should be taught about test tube babies and artificial insemination, what point would there be in adding a blurb saying something along the lines of "Gays are okay and have sex too", when we're teaching kids about the biology part of making a baby?

The whole discussion is about sex. So, if you are teaching kids about sex, just say "when 2 people love each other"............then discuss the fact that a woman and a man come together, and they can have babies. Then say some men and men/women and women come together, and then discuss test tube/IVF/adoption etc, that while two people of the same-sex don't have kids in the same way two people of the opposite sex do, there are plenty of other ways for them to be parents.

I can understand not doing it all at one time, but since it's a reality of life, it needs to be discussed.

 

[Smooth Operator]

The kids are probably the only ones that could understand that concept without bias that we all seem to be so firmly set into.

I say teach your kids everything there is to this world, and someday they will teach you to understand it a little better.

 

[Tyr2440]

Homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality, nonsexuality, etc, it should be said that none of that is important. None of that matters.
Kids should be taught that only love matters, it doesn't matter about the physical sex of the person.
Sure, tell them that only a heterosexual relationship brings a new life into the world (without the intervention of science), but don't make them think they have to go out and have kids. They can be who they want, and be with whoever they want. Plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted by loving parents anyway.

I?ve seen a lot of good argument and speculation about this topic (with the exception of a troll or two) that made me sign up.

I think fundamentally the most damaging thing in teaching any child about sex at an early age is that it is something done for pleasure as well as procreation, that the whole process as a subject should be kept simple as possible between a man and a woman. I totally agree that there?s nothing wrong with teaching a child about homosexual relationships or any relationship but id have thought that would come under the love category, that it?s fine for two men/women to love each other and not sex which is being taught to a child in an explanation of where they came from, Personally I think that?s a failing of the education system. there is nothing wrong with teaching that there can be love love of any type, but I do agree that homosexuality , as well as the intricacies of heterosexual relationships (the bedroom part) should be covered in sex education and not the ?birds and the bee?s? which I find to be quite different.

I know when I was in primary school I was more worried about being able to run around in the park after my dog or dodging my bedtime to stay up an hour later, and that when it comes down to it I don?t think many younger children would even understand the concepts around it (i know i didn?t)

J

 

[101flyboy]

At that age I see no reason to go beyond the common romantic relationships the child is likely to encounter and pick up on.

When it eventually discover for itself that other forms of romantic relationships exist, then it's of course important to explain it properly and that there's nothing wrong with it. But let it occur in conjunction with the child's own development and curiosity.

By that time, it may be too late. A kid may be recognizing their sexuality, but they don't understand it, they see everyone isn't gay like them, and people are trying to keep it secret. Therefore it needs to be discussed so that kids understand that, no, not everyone is straight, and that you're sexual attractions may be this way, or may go that way. Simply not talking about it creates stigma and confusion, not openly discussing it.

I still believe they need to be at an age where they can comprehend the concept of sexuality - rather than mere romancing - before engaging in explaining the many varied forms of harmless sexual attractions, innocent and equal as they are to any reasonable adult.

There are many varied sexual attractions which do no harm - coprophilia, consensual bondage etc - and which are thus all completely and utterly OK, but I'm not convinced that relegating them to the child without it giving any prior reason or showing any prior interest in them will always provoke a positive long-term reaction.

Let the child give reason for such discussion. If it see two men kissing, and ask questions, then explain it, and once it's ready to learn about sex and sexual attraction a wide range of sexual attractions - or at least the fact that they're all totally OK as long as they're consensual - should of course be discussed.

Coprophilia and bondage are sexual fetishes, not sexual orientations. Sexual orientations, heterosexuality and homosexuality, are the basics of life. The overall concept of sexuality and romancing both include homosexuality. Saying "men and women fuck and have babies." Well, yeah, but that's not discussing like, why are they having sex, what does it mean to have a baby, and so on and so forth. And then discussing the fact that not all men are with women or women with men. These are the basics as well. And they are realities of life that kids will encounter.

If a child sees 2 men kissing, if you teach them beforehand about the reality that some men like men, then there wouldn't be any potential confusion or drama. They would understand it. If they start feeling some attraction towards the same-sex, they would understand it. Keeping it closeted would cause the confusion.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

I would totally teach kids about it. The more you sidestep or avoid discussing it, the more closed minded the child will be to the subject in the future. If you don't tell them, they won't think of it as appropriate or normal in society and may become homophobic.

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

well, i think your sister was right, if the girl is so young, you shouldn't overly complicate things with being "politically correct".

Reality is not politically correct.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I don't think kids should get lectures about homosexuality forced on them. Just as I don't think they should get lectures about hetreosexuality forced on them. Let kids by nice and naive for a while before dumping all this complicated stuff on them.

If they're curious about the subject they'll ask you in their own due time... Unless ofcourse they don't know yet when they're about to enter high school, then you need to have a serious sit-down.

This seems reasonable on the surface, but it isn't. Because kids encounter heterosexuality and these days in most cases homosexuality on an every day basis. So, it's not something you can hide. Instead you need to teach kids about the facts of life so that when they do encounter these things or start realizing "hey, I'm attracted to ____," they aren't ignorant going into the situation, which could lead to bad decisions being made.

I'm not saying hide it, just don't blindside them with lectures about sexuality. Little kids won't know what to do when a slew of information about something so complex is suddenly unleashed upon them.

If a kid encounters homosexuality in real life or on TV, he/she is going to ask questions about it or comment on it. And a good parent knows how to gage their child's inquisitory nature. Don't force the information, just let it gradually reveal itself.

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Well when I was taught about the birds and the bees, I was learning about how babies were made, not relationships. As far as I know, when a pair of homosexuals have a physical relationship, it doesn't end up producing a baby.

The birds and the bees is inherently discussing relationships. A sexual relationship. Without a sexual relationship, there are no birds or bees.

True, no sex no baby but sex does not equal love. While I would agree that kids should be taught about test tube babies and artificial insemination, what point would there be in adding a blurb saying something along the lines of "Gays are okay and have sex too", when we're teaching kids about the biology part of making a baby?

The whole discussion is about sex. So, if you are teaching kids about sex, just say "when 2 people love each other"............then discuss the fact that a woman and a man come together, and they can have babies. Then say some men and men/women and women come together, and then discuss test tube/IVF/adoption etc, that while two people of the same-sex don't have kids in the same way two people of the opposite sex do, there are plenty of other ways for them to be parents.

I can understand not doing it all at one time, but since it's a reality of life, it needs to be discussed.

Have people lost track of the fact this is a 7 year old?

Yeah, lets explain IVF, infertility drugs, and lots of other stuff that a 7 year old really doesn't need to know about.

Even if you were going to an IVF clinic a 7 year old doesn't need the details about what you are doing at the doctor beyond, at most "the doctor is going to try and help us make you a little brother or sister". Really that's all most 7 year olds care to know.

I didn't bring up IVF. I said IF you were going to discuss that, then that's how you should do it. That's something a bit more complicating that I would agree, is something that should be maybe held off until they reach an age where they can comprehend it fully, but if they do ask about it, be honest about it, in an appropriate way.