tell me a joke......

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G1eet

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Mar 25, 2009
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Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

You know why Michael Jackson liked twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them!

What do you call a black guy on your front porch?
<spoiler=nonracist punchline> Whatever his name is!
 

GrimTuesday

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May 21, 2009
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Three guys are sitting on top of a building smoking some weed. The first guy guy says "I bet I am so high that I can step off this building and just kind of float there." The other guys tell him that is imposable but never the less the first guy steps off the side of the roof and he just floats there in place and then sits down. the second guy says "hey man if you can do that I can do it three times better because I am three times higher. so the second man steps off the roof and falls to his death. The third guy looks at the fist guy and say youknow what, your a real dick when your high Superman.
 

ljd184

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Jul 5, 2009
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poncho14 said:
Sigel said:
Do not read if easily offended. Stop reading now. I don't know how to do the hidey bars.


A little boy walks by a priest and a rabbi. The priest says to the rabbi"I would like to screw him" The rabbi answers"Outta what?"

Q:How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? A: Even the pool table has no balls.

You do [ spoiler] blahblahblah [/ spoiler]

Without the space:)

This might be offensive to some people i've been told so I will spoiler it:|

There was a Scottish man English man and Irishman on a plane. The place was crashing but there was only 1 parachute, the irishman said I will jump for ireland so he jumped out of the plane, and then the scotsman said For Scotland and pushed the Englishman out of the plane(sorry that was terrible I barely remembered it)
this is how it goes i think
a english man a American and India man was on a plain and the plain was crashing so american said we need to lose sum weight so they chuck out what they have lot of in there country so the india man chucked out rice the American chucked out money and the english man chucked the india man out
and thank you for teaching me how to spoiler box
 

quiet_samurai

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Apr 24, 2009
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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic grocery bag?

One's white made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other you use to carry you groceries.


What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
A pilot you fucking rascist.
What do you call a Chinese guy that flies a plane?
A pirate.
 

Robert632

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May 11, 2009
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why did the baby cross the road

<spoiler=answer> cos it was stapled to the chicken

cookie for the reference.
 

SteakHeart

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Jul 20, 2009
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True story: I returned to the table at the restaurant with my friend talking to his girlfriend and saying, "but it dried up." And i said, "What your well of emotions? Oh wait, she did that."
 

Mr. PIP Boy

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Jul 24, 2009
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ok here's one its kinda long and messed soooo.....

So a woman is about to give birth to triplets, her car brakes down so she has to walk the rest
of the way. She knows a short cut through an alley and takes it, while she is walking a man jumps out and shoots her three times in the stomach. She runs to the hospital and explains her situation. She made a miraculous recovery and all three babies were born two girls and a boy. 14 years later the Mother is in the kitchen and one of her daughters show up she tells her mom she pissed out a bullet. The mom explains what happened 14 years ago and the daughter went on her way. The same went for the second daughter. Finally Her son bursts into the kitchen laughing really hard, he comes up to his mom and he says you'll never guess what just happened. The mom asked if he pissed out a bullet. The son said no, but he was jackin it on the back porch and he shot the dog.
 

Calobi

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Dec 29, 2007
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MaxTheReaper said:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck you.
You make me happy inside.

Edit: I really hope no one makes a "That's what she said" joke about that phrase. Except Max. He can.

Frank_Sinatra_ said:
A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet.
It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens.

The Setesh guard's nose drips...
YES! You make me happy as well.
 

Foxbat Flyer

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Jul 9, 2009
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possibly offensive... dont read if you get offended easily... youve been warned

there once was a man from china
who had a mini minor
he went to the docs and had it chopped
now he's got a vagina