tell me some bad jokes

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Nightmar263

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Jun 15, 2010
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Zyquux said:
Did you hear the one about the farmer?
Nevermind, it's corny

A man wanted to buy 99 bricks, but the store only sold them in packs of 100. After the man built his wall with 99 bricks, he just casually threw it over his shoulder.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't.

There are 2 types of people in the world: those with short term memory loss and tho- *walks away*

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
It got hit by a falling brick.
There are two types of people in the world: Those who can finish lists.
 
Jan 29, 2009
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What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
Viola burns longer.

How can you tell if your lover is a french horn player?
You notice her hand up your ass when you make out.

What's the problem with string players?
They spend the first half of the rehearsal tuning and the second half playing out of tune.
 

Drakmorg

Local Cat
Aug 15, 2008
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Why do some experts consider Diarrhea to be hereditary?
Because it runs in your jeans.

Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen? They don't know who did it but they're looking for hardened criminals.

What do you get when you cross Holy water with castor oil?
A religious movement.

Name the source and win my respect.
 

SilentCom

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Mar 14, 2011
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CleverNickname said:
I'm just glad you guys didn't make any Holocaust jokes.

They're not funny.

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

He fell off the watchtower.
I see what you did there. =D

OT: Incoming racist joke

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family.

I'M SORRY D=
 

Nabohs

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Jan 18, 2011
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I learned this from the Adam West-era Riddler from the Batman Movie
Q: What goes up white, and comes down Yellow and white?
A: An Egg

or if you would prefer:
Q: What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is very dangerous
A: A sparrow with a machine gun
 

yman15

New member
Jul 11, 2011
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kickyourass said:
I've got two for you.
#1 So a Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam, all walk into a bar, the bartender turns and asks, "What is this a joke?"

#2 Why is a balloon, alot like Virginity?
One little prick and it's gone.
Damn that's like a quadruple post!! lol

OT: I got some. Why couldn't the little boy see the pirate movie? It was rated ARGH!!!

So I guy walks in to a bar he said oww
 

Doom-Slayer

Ooooh...I has custom title.
Jul 18, 2009
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A bad joke you say?

The US economy and healthcare system. OHSNAP..But seriously, the brown and sticky joke is bad and if your looking for tasteless then dead baby jokes probably take that prize.
 

ThaBenMan

Mandalorian Buddha
Mar 6, 2008
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An Irishman, an Englishman and an Indian chief go fishing together in a large rowboat in a medium-sized lake. Everyone has good luck: two or three big fish each. They stay out in the middle of the lake until sunset. On the way back to shore, as the sky purples and turns to night, they all sing a song.
 

oboeboy

New member
Aug 16, 2011
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How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.

"OH SNAP"!!!!
 

Tautology

New member
Apr 5, 2011
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Two men are fishing. The first man quickly looks up and shouts "Nuts to this! I ain't being the punchline to some crummy joke!" He dives off the boat into the water.

Joke's on him, he can't swim.
 

Harry Mason

New member
Mar 7, 2011
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Did you hear about the circus?
It was IN-TENSE.

Where do generals keep their armies?
IN THEIR SLEEVIES!

What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsssssshhhhhh.

And a personal favorite example of pure corny absurdity in humor...

How to you protect your house from pirates?
FILL YOUR YARD WITH BEAVERS.