TEST: Are you a guy or a man? (Females welcome to take test and comment )

[Samurai Goomba]

Ugh, I personally despise this sort of "humor."

There's a lot I could say about how comedy like this is contributing to typecasting and the idea that there are traditional "gender roles" which people should be pressured to fill. Yeah, this isn't serious, but people look at jokes and laugh while thinking, "that's so true." And there are always some who think that's the way a man should or does behave. And that it's enviable.

I dunno. I'm not advocating censorship or anything, I just wish I could escape from this nonsense on a video game website. If I want faux-chauvinist humor this is the freaking Internet-there's only about 10 libraries worth of it floating around.

 

[sarge1942]

i couldn't answer most of them actually once i got to question 3 i sort of gave up. except for 6, a dog that eats cats, because cats are evil. honestly this quiz is not very good at all in my opinion.

 

[Daipire]

I got 1.
And it was pretty funny, I was taking it serious at the start, though.

 

[Ham_authority95]

I don't care what this test says, I AM A MAN!!!! *PUNCH* (cookies for reference)

Yay! Linkara!!!! /fanboyism

OT: I got a 2, but none of those really apply to me.

 

[CloggedDonkey]

Spoiler: What I got

B
A
A
NONE
A
A
A
NONE
A
B
NONE

So, to be a man, I have to be an evil bastard with no respect for women, children, life, death, love, friends, or anything besides beer, food, sex, and baseball? Call me sissy Mc.Girlypants, cause I have respect for things.

 

[Rogue 9]

Mostly As and Bs...in fact just one C, and it was on the Moses question... really god should have given him a better gps.

Same result here... I can totally see Moses as being too stubborn to ask for directions. "God put me in charge and he told me to go this way so we're going this way."

 

[Blindswordmaster]

Interesting, I seem to be very mature for my age. I guess that I'm a man, not just a guy. Let's see how I do next year. Though I know the joke in question, I would tell another one. Not at the actual funeral, that would be in bad taste. Comedy makes life better.

 

[BonsaiK]

Now that you know I want to know Girls, Women, Guys and Men do you see the difference between guys and men in your everyday life? I know this also applies to women so do girls make this distinction in males and do they have a split in their culture?

If you have read all this and are still not sure what the difference between a guy and a man is just figure a Guy is out for fun and thinks little acts on gut instincts (curiosity/mindset of a child in a grown up body) while man thinks things through and plans out how to do the most good in everything he does (true grown up male).

I can only assume this divide exists in girls, but as my time to study that species has been limited I must ask you fellow Escapists to help me fill that gap in this theory.

Edit:
It seems this post needs a quick disclaimer: This test was written by a comedian and is not to be taken in a serious manner.

Edit 2.0: As not everyone is understanding my wording. You want to get a low score unless you want to be a jerk. Also, Yes I know the test is biased and limited, but it is meant to show extremes of guys. You can be a normal person and get some c's, but this is afterall a joke so no need to take it too seriously.

You can't ask us seemingly completely serious questions about a survey like this, and then when you're called out on the incredible sexism, homophobia and dumb stereotypes in the survey, made some edits where you backpedal furiously and say "oh... but it was all a joke, honest".

I didn't even do the survey, I don't care if I'm a "guy", a "man", or an [insert whatever pigeonhole people want to put each other in here]. People worry too much about stuff like this, it would be a better world if people of both genders would just be themselves and forget about society's proscribed gender roles.

 

[olendvcook]

"1) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
a. Present it to the president of the United States
b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations
c. Take it apart"

I disagree that C is the "guy" answer, this much power should belong to no one as anyone in its possession would use it for evil so the only choice is to destroy it.

 

[2fish]

Now that you know I want to know Girls, Women, Guys and Men do you see the difference between guys and men in your everyday life? I know this also applies to women so do girls make this distinction in males and do they have a split in their culture?

If you have read all this and are still not sure what the difference between a guy and a man is just figure a Guy is out for fun and thinks little acts on gut instincts (curiosity/mindset of a child in a grown up body) while man thinks things through and plans out how to do the most good in everything he does (true grown up male).

I can only assume this divide exists in girls, but as my time to study that species has been limited I must ask you fellow Escapists to help me fill that gap in this theory.

Edit:
It seems this post needs a quick disclaimer: This test was written by a comedian and is not to be taken in a serious manner.

Edit 2.0: As not everyone is understanding my wording. You want to get a low score unless you want to be a jerk. Also, Yes I know the test is biased and limited, but it is meant to show extremes of guys. You can be a normal person and get some c's, but this is afterall a joke so no need to take it too seriously.

You can't ask us seemingly completely serious questions about a survey like this, and then when you're called out on the incredible sexism, homophobia and dumb stereotypes in the survey, made some edits where you backpedal furiously and say "oh... but it was all a joke, honest".

I didn't even do the survey, I don't care if I'm a "guy", a "man", or an [insert whatever pigeonhole people want to put each other in here]. People worry too much about stuff like this, it would be a better world if people of both genders would just be themselves and forget about society's proscribed gender roles.

I presented the test to you as it was presented to me, in a serious context. However as I took the test the first time I stopped at every question and laughed saying to my friend who gave the test to me, "this cannot be real". I did not want to risk spoiling the joke and the pretense of this being a real test. I am sorry if you are offended by this.

For those of you that liked this or wanted to know who Dave Barry is:

The book

His Web Site
http://www.davebarry.com/

 

[2fish]

"1) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
a. Present it to the president of the United States
b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations
c. Take it apart"

I disagree that C is the "guy" answer, this much power should belong to no one as anyone in its possession would use it for evil so the only choice is to destroy it.

Disassembling it to see how it works is a stereotypically "guy" trait - it might not necessarily mean deliberate destruction, just accidental.

I have seen this guy trait in my uncle who fits the I can fix anything guy stereotype. He can take it apart and put it back together. He just has a few extra parts left over and some duct tape on the item in question. I blame it on curiosity, this can be a very destructive trait depending on the person.

 

[Randomologist]

The first one, I'd keep it to myself, and profiteer from it. Then I'd use it to oppress, for both the irony and the general lulz.

I'm just a guy, by the looks. I don't think it makes you more manly if you forget how many kids you have, but meh, a joke is a joke.

 

[Wolfram23]

Look at your man. Then look at me. Back to your man. Now back to me.

 

[2fish]

The first one, I'd keep it to myself, and profiteer from it. Then I'd use it to oppress, for both the irony and the general lulz.

I'm just a guy, by the looks. I don't think it makes you more manly if you forget how many kids you have, but meh, a joke is a joke.

The C answers are the Guy aka moron answers. A is the man aka responsible male answer. So forgetting how many kids you have is the guy answer.

Joke has had to be explained too much

Downgrading to:

Huh...pretty clever I guess?

 

[Randomologist]

The first one, I'd keep it to myself, and profiteer from it. Then I'd use it to oppress, for both the irony and the general lulz.

I'm just a guy, by the looks. I don't think it makes you more manly if you forget how many kids you have, but meh, a joke is a joke.

The C answers are the Guy aka moron answers. A is the man aka responsible male answer. So forgetting how many kids you have is the guy answer.

Joke has had to be explained too much

Downgrading to:

Huh...pretty clever I guess?

Uh, yeah :S I know it's a joke, and I stated as such; I don't need to have it explained to me. I just don't personally see what's funny with this sort of humour, though I do understand it.