That dick of a friend.

[retyopy]

I have (and this is me being generous) 3 freinds who aren't dickblisters. And you know what? That's fine. Because through all of the shit and annoyance, they'll say something that will remind you why they're your friend, and you'll feel good all over. Or at least that's me. I don't know how your brains work. Well, on a scientific level, I have a very basic understanding, but I don't know how your actaul MINDS work.Ummm... Never mind.

 

[The Lesbian Flower]

I had a friend who laced me with angel dust and then convinced me that I was going to die. I had a massive panic attack for about 2 hours while she just laughed and laughed. We've never been friends the same way again. She didn't even apologize.

 

[8OutOf10]

Some people here are really overreacting. "Punch him the face", "Abandon your friendship with him". Are you serious?

Listen, males tend do this thing, it's called banter. If it's really getting to you that much, talk to him about it. Make it clear to him you don't want him doing this type of thing to you. The issue is that from his perspective he just made a harmless joke, and he probably doesn't know that you feel so strongly about it. If he is a real friend he will cut it back.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Am I the only one who misread the title as "The dick of a friend"?

 

[Dogstile]

I've had that happen to me. I just said "UMAD or UJELLY? Stop being a dick".

Usually works, my friends realise that if I tell them to stop being a dick, they should probably stop.

 

[retyopy]

I've had that happen to me. I just said "UMAD or UJELLY? Stop being a dick".

Usually works, my friends realise that if I tell them to stop being a dick, they should probably stop.

I've heard UMAD but... UJELLY? Please don't tell me that's real, or the internet has gone too far.

 

[Switchblade1080]

oh boy, where to begin...

If you ask me though, I have little friends that like me back for what I am...

 

[Dogstile]

I've had that happen to me. I just said "UMAD or UJELLY? Stop being a dick".

Usually works, my friends realise that if I tell them to stop being a dick, they should probably stop.

I've heard UMAD but... UJELLY? Please don't tell me that's real, or the internet has gone too far.

... Seriously? UJELLY is too far?

Christ man, have you only been on here for like, a week? The internet is much worse.

 

[kebab4you]

Um that would be me myself, I just find it tacky when my friends hit on girls in bars so I do all in my might do fuck em up.

 

[MordinSolus]

So today, has to be the shittiest day i can just about imagine. I like this girl. Like really like her. I was sitting with her, and my 'friend' came over, accompanied by other 'friends'. So im sitting there, while he is just trying to make things as awkward as possible, and just fuck stuff up. He pulls the 'Boner' prank on me. I have my blazer next to me, and im just sittin there. He then calls 'Boner alert' and everyone starts taking the piss. He leaves, and the girl i like, thinks that i was looking up her shirt and now, things are made awkward. Basically, do you have, or used to have a dick of a friend like that? Explain experiences please

See, I take an interesting approach: Be a stone-heart bastard and make him know I don't like him. He leaves eventually.

 

[Nayr]

Sure do have a friend like that. Two days after my ex and I broke up he called her wanting to hang out. It is the only thing I will never forgive him for. He does lots of stupid stuff like the friend in OP but I just let that roll off me. That's just who he is, and he knows that as long as he never does something like the ex thing again we will be good friends.

But honestly if you can't treat them the same with the jokes like OP then they aren't a good friend.

 

[winter2]

I've had that happen to me. I just said "UMAD or UJELLY? Stop being a dick".

Usually works, my friends realise that if I tell them to stop being a dick, they should probably stop.

I've heard UMAD but... UJELLY? Please don't tell me that's real, or the internet has gone too far.

... Seriously? UJELLY is too far?

Christ man, have you only been on here for like, a week? The internet is much worse.

I can feel a net noob meme coming..

Edit: Oh yea, that reminds me... here's the 1999 Beatnuts video "Watch Out Now".. Listen around the 0:29 mark and out. See.. we all learned something new today.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

I can be that friend sometimes. I like to push people's buttons but the only people I do that to are the ones who know I'm only joking. I don't really have a large enough social circle to have one of those friends (unless you count me being the occasional dick of a friend).

EDIT: Wait, I remembered there was this guy I used to hangout with in high school and the only reason he's not part of my social circle anymore is because we all got sick of his bullshit. So yeah.

 

[thirion1850]

Oh no. You got cockblocked by being told you got a boner.

What is this, grade 7? I know you mentioned it's teenager logic but good lord mate as well as most of the comments on here. Is everyone that uncomfortable with them selves as to being unable to retaliate by pointing at your fucking crotch and saying "Does this look like a fucking boner to you, or should I create one to satisfy your secret wishes?" Seriously. Grow a pair - I'm sure the vowewy wadey will appreciate them too.

 

[baconbaby299]

Really? My mind is blown! This is like Christmas for me. I'll take your wisdom to heart.

 

[xcgillx2]

The only time my friends were dicks was when I had 2 different groups of friends and I started getting the 2 to mix so eventually they all became friends and started ingroning me and started being real assholes about it