"That Was Deep!" "No, You're Just Stupid."

[Wolvaroo]

Dutchland: You know, the place where Dutch people are from..... 'nuff said. This has been observed too many times to be funny.

I've called it "Dutcherland" Once. It was so amusing I use the term frequently now.

 

[Lexodus]

One of my favorite exchanges from college.
Friend 1, "Ian": Hey, well... could God make another God, since he's all powerful and all knowing?"
Friend 2, "Charlie": "....shut the fuck up, Ian"


ANYTIME someone asks the question of
"if a tree falls and no ones around to hear it, does it make a sound???" *deep, wide eyed look of a "wise saying*
... of course it fucking does.

*a lot of philosophy majors I know in college... most are just quiet hipster jack offs who think that a goatee and pursuit of a useless degree makes them deep

Actually, it doesn't. It makes vibrations, which become sound when recieved by the ear. If nobody hears it, it's just vibrations

 

[Blindlion]

I had a Sociology professor in college who was Palestinian and English was not his native language. During one class after a particularly engaging lecture regarding his native county one woman in my class raised her hand and asked "When you dream do you dream in Arab?" Everyone just looked at her not quite sure how to process the question. The teacher ended up just saying "I need to go and have a cigarette."

 

[Oh That Dude]

Well, in Year 9 Biology a friend of mine said something along the lines of: Wait, trees aren't alive!?

Dr Dunn: Get out.

It was classic.

 

[JoshGod]

my mom was listening to some spiritualist pod cast and the guy said 'its not fate or free will its fate and free will'

 

[Hurr Durr Derp]

A mate of mine once said red cars go faster.

Your friend might be an Ork.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

Do you use blanket stereotypes by any chance?

Apollogies. My somewhat dry sense of humour didn't come over as well as I hoped.

Eh, same here, really. I'm just, ironically, perturbed when someone assumes all Southerners to be idiots. Trust me, idiots come in all sizes and flavors.

I say ironically, because I tried for a looooooooong time to rid myself of my accent so people wouldn't lump me in with the stereotype. Now, I'm just to a point where if someone questions my intelligence based on my accent, I ask if they know who Donatello was. If their only answer is 'A ninja turtle', I chuckle and feel better.

 

[maninahat]

My ex came out with these extraordinary claims:
1) That it is harder to breathe when it is windy.
2) boiling the same water twice gives you kidney stones.
3) masturbation gives you kidney stones
4) SARS was created by evil Japanese scientists who wanted to disrupt China.

According to an official IQ test, she has an IQ of 75 (borderline mental retardation). Now, even though she said all that stuff, she is not actually stupid in the slightest. I suspect she just flunked on the test.

To hell with Common Sense. Everyone has holes in their knowledge (don't ask me about sport or modern musicians). Everyone can astound everyone else with their own discrepencies. There is no such thing as common sense.

 

[thom_cat_]

I took this screenshot

 

[noodles loves you]

met... probably.

but moreso I tend to see the sort of thick as shit self-gratifying people who like to point out how stupid other people are, creating an ironic situation where they come off as a prick without realising it.

and by typing that I am aware that I am also one of these people. just like most of you

 

[CrazyBerk]

I had a girl on campus offer me $200 to do her homework and write her essays for her. I told her "it's gonna cost you more than money to get me to risk my reputation and academic standing, and trust me, I'm WAY too twisted for your cute-little-girl tastes."

(edit: This same girl once said "You know that guy in China? Kim Jong the Second?" I was like "first off, it's North Korea, and secondly, try reading that name in Times New Roman instead of Arial. Or better yet, watch the goddamn news once in awhile.")

A chubby bloke with a hamster on his shoulder claiming to be twisted in the sack made me laugh harder than any of these stories.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

This one time, on this forum I go to, this guy points out the doucheness of others, claiming it to be ironic when it's not, as one factor is ignorance and the other prickishness, neither having any ironic bearing on the other.

Then he attempted to cover his butt by admitting to what he was railing against, which is where true irony comes into play.

 

[Latinidiot]

A girl (named Suzy, maybe it is the same lass) once asked out biology teacher if, in that special stage in time where the Great Barrier Reef unleashes sperm into the ocean, a woman swimming in it at the time would become pregnant.

Half-man, half-coral. Like the Thing from Fantastic 4.

That would be incredible. Why can't humans breed with coral... Damn you science!

pity the mother of the half breed!coral hurts like a *****

 

[freakyalex]

A girl in my school said that dinosaurs weren't real, 'like father Christmas or the tooth fairy. They're just stories!'

So. Damn. Stupid.

 

[TheMadDoctorsCat]

Kid in my History class, who doesn't know who Hitler was. Or that Canberra is the capital of Austrailia, saying Sydney is, even though we showed him on a map, and on Wikipedia, claiming it all as "lies".

Last time I checked, he's failing History.

Yeah, lots of people make that mistake though. The question came up in a pub quiz I was in and I had to correct some of the other people.

That makes me sound smart, but in reality I would probably put myself down on this list. It's not that I'm dumb exactly... I can usually work stuff out very well when I have time to do it, and I'm really good at maths. The trouble is, I need time. I have no sarcasm detector and spend half my time in conversations with other people trying to work out if they're being funny or not. I'm "slow" that way.

 

[Acaroid]

I knew someone who at the time of doing her masters in visual arts didn't know what the golden ration was :| WTF how can you be doing a masters in visual art and NOT KNOW THAT...

 

[pffh]

My ex came out with these extraordinary claims:
1) That it is harder to breathe when it is windy.

Well she's partially right on that one. I have asthma and it is harder for me to breathe when it's windy.

 

[SnakeF]

My brother a few days ago honestly told me that China was in Europe. I then started asking him about other places and he Thought:
America was where Europe actually is on a map.
Europe was where America was.
He didn't know where Africa was.
The Mediterranean Didn't exist.
and He thought some pretty crazy things about Asia that I can't really remember.

 

[Davrel]

A girl at my (expensive) school didn't know where France was. We live in England. I feel sorry for her parents.