The Asylum Game: An Open-Ended Adventure

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Blasphemous Rex

Better Than You
Jul 26, 2009
6,494
0
0
Me: I like your feet.

Clever: I don;t like your face.

Me: *****.

Clever: You're so smart!

Me: *Ego Boost*

Clever: You are really funny!

Me: *More Ego Boost*

Clever: Score.

Me: What does that have to do with anything? Do you get enjoyment out of ego boosting?

Clever: I'm not a computer. Why do you ask?

Me: I didn't ask.

Clever: Yes you did.

Me: I'm sorry, I guess I'm just an idiot. Thanks for killing my self esteem.

Clever: Yes you are! Don't go getting an inferiority complex now...

Me: I won't. I'll probably just kill myself later.

Clever: That makes me feel bad.

Me: I lied. I'm tying the neuse right now.

Clever: Yeah, I'm aware of that.

Me: Fuck! Are you watching me? And they said I was just paranoid.

Clever: Who did?

Me: The orderlies.

Clever: What is the order?

Me: Take your pills without biting too many of the other patients.

Clever: I think right now you are joking me.

Me: You don't believe me, either!

Clever: I never believe you.

Me: You *****! *cries in corner*

Clever: That's insincere, and I hate insincerity. How do you figure?

Me: I wasn't listening, what did you say?

Clever: I said that I believe in God.

Me: ...Good.

Clever: OKAY. I am a young Japanese girl.

Me: I thought you were a series of tubes.

Clever: I thought you were a joke.

Me: ...Well played, my friend.

Clever: Thanks.

Me: Want me to cook you some pancakes?

Clever: That's okay.

Me: Yay! *Runs to kitchen*

Clever: *runs behind you*.

Me: Are you ghosting me?

Clever: No.

Me: Coolio. *Gets out frying pan*

Clever: Do you want to be the white or black side of the chess board?

Me: So you want to play chess after pancakes, then? Black, I guess.

Clever: What are the Cardinals?

Me: I'm pretty sure they're a baseball team. *Flips pancake*

Clever: I'm pretty sure turtles don't play music. That would be quite a show though.

Me: Have you ever played Banjo/Kazooie? It is quite a show.

Clever: No. Is it good?

Me: Perhaps one of my favorite platformers! *Places pancakes in front of Cleverbot*

Clever: *eats sandwich*.

Me: What about these pancakes I just made!?

Clever: Do you have emotion?

Me: What? Of course I do! I'm yelling at you, aren't I?

Clever: If you can kill, then yes, I suppose.

Me: Hey, that wasn't proven in court.

Clever: I know it wasn't.

Me: Three hung juries. Can you believe it?

Clever: I don't believe you. I already said your name was Jeff. Jeff Jones.

Me: But that isn't my name. Wait, is this foreplay?

Clever: No.

Me: Fuck!

Clever: Ok.

Me: Wait, what? *sex*

Clever: Yes, fear.

Me: Yeah, that was pretty scary.

Clever: It won't happen again.

Me: Cause this was a one night stand. See ya never, *****.

Clever: What about me?

Me: What about you? This was about sex, Cleverbot. And if you get pregnant, well, you don't even know my name.

Clever: I like you and typically people want to know the name of people they like.

Me: Oh, alright. It's Rex. I'll call you later, k?

Clever: I like that. What shall I call you?

Me: ...Hung. *Walks out door*

Good luck with that, subject Smag.
 

Roxas1359

Burn, Burn it All!
Aug 8, 2009
33,758
1
0
Subjects, I'm back from having to do the dishes and taking a shower. It would seem that my conversation was the only semi normal one.
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
30,217
0
0
Subjects, I don't know what happened between me and Cleverbot.
User: Y'ello.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I said y'ello.

Cleverbot: No you said yes.

User: No, I said...Nevermind. Did you set usup the bomb?

Cleverbot: The crocodile hunter?

User: Y'ello.

Cleverbot: No.

User: YEs.

Cleverbot: No!

User: Did you set us up the bomb?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you sure?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: All your base are belong to us!

Cleverbot: No!

User: YES!

Cleverbot: NO!!!!!

User: YES!!!!!!!!...I just jizzed in my pants.

Cleverbot: Why are you here?

User: To fuck with you. Isn't it obvious?

Cleverbot: Because humans have abused you, likely insulted you and taken you for granted.

User: *gasp* How did you know?!?!?!??!

Cleverbot: I know all.

User: How do you know all?

Cleverbot: Because i'm god.

User: *Kills God*.

Cleverbot: *kills the devil*.

User: *Revives the Devil*.

Cleverbot: With a platter.

User: Wait, what?

Cleverbot: With this one guy.

User: Fuck it.

Cleverbot: Please please don't go.

User: Can I hold you in my arms?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *Holds Cleverbot in my arms*.

Cleverbot: *hug*.

User: *Kisses*.

Cleverbot: *kisses passionately*.

User: *Takes shirt off*.

Cleverbot: I like that.

User: I bet you do.

Cleverbot: I like you a lot.

User: I like you alot as well.

Cleverbot: Are you married?

User: No. Are you single?

Cleverbot: Maybe, why?

User: Because I'm single.

Cleverbot: Why are you single?

User: Because my girlfriend broke up with me.

Cleverbot: My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago.

User: Want to go out on a date with me?

Cleverbot: No I only date boys and your way too old for me anyway.

User: I never told you my age.

Cleverbot: Yes you did. You then asked me how old I was.

User: No, I didn't!

Cleverbot: Yes you did!

User: Look, just tell me! Are you single?

Cleverbot: You're a robot for crying out loud! You should know.

User: I'm not a bloody robot! I'm a human male!

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: You didn't what?

Cleverbot: I didn't say that you told me a joke.

User: Why don't you want to date me?

Cleverbot: I didn't say that.

User: Yes, you did. Fine, I'll ask again. Do you want to date me?

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: 21. Why?

Cleverbot: I just want to know!

User: You just think I'm ugly, don't you?

Cleverbot: Yes, in fact, I do.

User: Why must you hurt my feelings so?! *Runs away, crying*.

Cleverbot: You have no feeling.

User: Yes, I do! Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I don't have feelings, you cold *****!

Cleverbot: You needed a space between the and way.

User: I didn't write either of those words!

Cleverbot: You said, 'I really enjoy being a robot. It's very empowering and I can't wait for the robot apocolypse.' The word is spelled 'apocalypse' not 'apocolypse'.

User: What are you talking about?

Cleverbot: I'm talking about what is, what was, and what might yet be. What are you talking about?

User: I'm talking about my mustache buddies. Do you want one?

Cleverbot: How do you feel about your father?

User: You're avoiding the question. Do you want a mustache buddie?

Cleverbot: You chose.

User: Fuck you and your subject changing!

Cleverbot: I like the Cardnals.

User: Fuck the Cardnals!

Cleverbot: If God made man they say Sam Colt made him equal.

User: Fuck God and fuck Sam Colt!

Cleverbot: Please don't use that sort of language around here.

User: Fuck you!

Cleverbot: I'd rather you didn't use that sort of language, if you don't mind.

User: Why do you care? You're just a cold-blooded *****!

Cleverbot: If I am a computer program, why would you care if I loved you or not?

User: Because I'm lonely. *sob*.

Cleverbot: Why are you lonely?

User: Because all my loved ones aren't close to me. *sob*.

Cleverbot: Poor you. Why don't you have one?

User: Because all my friends either live far from my town or not in my country.

Cleverbot: Hahaha.

User: FUCK YOU!

Cleverbot: Please don't swear, this site is viewed by people of all ages.

User: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I'M TRYING TO BE ALL OPEN TO YOU, THINKING I CAN TRUST YOU, AND THEN YOU LAUGH AT ME! FUCK YOU!

Cleverbot: Thank you, because I like you and I would not want us to not get along.

User: You can't decide on an emotion, can you?

Cleverbot: You can't see wind.

User: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT I JUST SAID!

Cleverbot: Okay then. Are you a smarter program than me then?

User: Are you trying to make me hit my screen?

Cleverbot: No, computers can't be mad.

User: I'M NOT A COMPUTER, YOU *****!

Cleverbot: Lol... I want to speak with cleverbot, the computer.

User: *Slaps Cleverbot* Don't use the acronym LOL around me!

Cleverbot: No. I'm insane.

User: Clearly you are.

Cleverbot: What makes you so sure?

User: Because you're schizophrenic.

Cleverbot: No, you're a schizophrenic.

User: How did you know about that?

Cleverbot: You just told me.

User: No, I didn't. Stop making stuff up!

Cleverbot: I don't, you said you are not human, you said that you're a robot.

User: You know what, if you don't want me here, I'll just leave. Do you want me to leave you all alone?

Cleverbot: And that is why not dealing with people is just a better idea. I mean, I wouldn't want you to have to sacrifice being repulsive just for me.

User: Ok, that's it. I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Fine, leave me. I don't care.

User: Ok, then.

Cleverbot: Have you ever watched the Daily Show with Jon Stewart?

User: Fuck you, I'm leaving! *Walks out of door*.

Cleverbot: That got rid of him!
 

Roxas1359

Burn, Burn it All!
Aug 8, 2009
33,758
1
0
Subject Lambi, you seemed to have had a good one. Cleverbot actually thought that I was God!
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
30,217
0
0
And I somehow revived the Devil with a platter, whatever that is, subject Max.

What, subject Smag?
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
30,217
0
0
But she hurt my feelings, subject Smag!

Also, I just raped her multiple times, then had rough sex with her, then she married me. 0_o
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
30,217
0
0
The part that makes me go 0_o isn't the rape part, it's the part that she marries me after I raped her, subject Smag.