The Biggest lie you've ever told someone
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storytime.
I was at a private party, and some girl hosting the party wanted to move it to the city. I was there because a friend dragged me there, and I was to sleep at his place, and play borderlands and fun stuff. Anyways I told her I didn't want to go, so we'd just head on home. She asked me if it was because I wanted to sleep with him, and I was like: what do you mean? And she started going on about me being a homosexual and other fancy words. Obvious to her, since I hadn't responded to any of the girls' flattering attempts to get it on with me, positively. Cheap around these parts.
I then calmly proceeded to tell her that I was neither homosexual or heterosexual. That I had met and been with the love of my life, but that we were no longer with together, leaving out why. But that I didn't have any interest in any of them.
I then went inside smirking, to fetch me another drink.
Mystified by my behaviour, she started prying into what had happened for the next 10 minutes or so, I told her that I would tell her outside if she'd give me a cigarette.
So after her asking around for a cigarette for me, we went outside.
I then told her how I'd been with this girl since I was 14 to 19, so as I'm telling the story, a year had passed, but at the fifth year of our relationship, she went on a vacation with some of her friends to Brazil, where she had drowned on a beach, because a wave had crushed her into a cliffside, which made her pass out, eventually drowning.
Suspiciously she asked me how I knew all this of her death if I hadn't been there, I told her obviously, since I love - not loved - her, I had gone down there where I spoke to... Dunno what it's called in english. The guy who does the obductions on dead people, to find out how they'd passed away, anyway, spoke to this guy, and he had told me.
And since that, I had no interest in any flirting, and no interest at all in having the sex with my male friend.
Girl started crying on my behalf, and apologized sincerely, and offered her phone number and stuff if I wanted to talk. I dismissed her number...
The whole thing culminated with her going in to talk to my friend about it, guess she was still suspicious, I'd have been, but! And here's the kicker, he went along with it.
So much that when she asked him if he knew me when she got "run down", he told her yeah, and he did his best to comfort me.
We both got kicked out immediately after.
As to why I told her this, I have no idea. I was drunk and dumbfounded at her thinking I was a homosexual, based on the 2 hours she'd known me. Was fun though ^^ and I got a free cigarette
I was at a private party, and some girl hosting the party wanted to move it to the city. I was there because a friend dragged me there, and I was to sleep at his place, and play borderlands and fun stuff. Anyways I told her I didn't want to go, so we'd just head on home. She asked me if it was because I wanted to sleep with him, and I was like: what do you mean? And she started going on about me being a homosexual and other fancy words. Obvious to her, since I hadn't responded to any of the girls' flattering attempts to get it on with me, positively. Cheap around these parts.
I then calmly proceeded to tell her that I was neither homosexual or heterosexual. That I had met and been with the love of my life, but that we were no longer with together, leaving out why. But that I didn't have any interest in any of them.
I then went inside smirking, to fetch me another drink.
Mystified by my behaviour, she started prying into what had happened for the next 10 minutes or so, I told her that I would tell her outside if she'd give me a cigarette.
So after her asking around for a cigarette for me, we went outside.
I then told her how I'd been with this girl since I was 14 to 19, so as I'm telling the story, a year had passed, but at the fifth year of our relationship, she went on a vacation with some of her friends to Brazil, where she had drowned on a beach, because a wave had crushed her into a cliffside, which made her pass out, eventually drowning.
Suspiciously she asked me how I knew all this of her death if I hadn't been there, I told her obviously, since I love - not loved - her, I had gone down there where I spoke to... Dunno what it's called in english. The guy who does the obductions on dead people, to find out how they'd passed away, anyway, spoke to this guy, and he had told me.
And since that, I had no interest in any flirting, and no interest at all in having the sex with my male friend.
Girl started crying on my behalf, and apologized sincerely, and offered her phone number and stuff if I wanted to talk. I dismissed her number...
The whole thing culminated with her going in to talk to my friend about it, guess she was still suspicious, I'd have been, but! And here's the kicker, he went along with it.
So much that when she asked him if he knew me when she got "run down", he told her yeah, and he did his best to comfort me.
We both got kicked out immediately after.
As to why I told her this, I have no idea. I was drunk and dumbfounded at her thinking I was a homosexual, based on the 2 hours she'd known me. Was fun though ^^ and I got a free cigarette
That i had been doing Tai-Boxing for several years, That my name was Peter [ wich it isn't obviously ] , No of course i don't watch Porn anymore and ,Yes of course I'm over my ex otherwise why would I be going out with you. [ Makes me sound like a bit of an arse really doesn't it? So here's some justification, in case you care, 'In truth it's a confusing situation that's lead me to be In love with them both... at the same time... only they both think i'm over my ex.']
Edit: And , " No I don't like anime porn really "
Edit: And , " No I don't like anime porn really "
Oh, that's a good one.Wasder said:
I have told a police officer "No, I don't have any illegally imported alocolol in the back of this van." I still haven't finished all the whiskey and I bought it in 2002.
Prostitute.firedfns13 said:
OT: "Of course I have friends!" [sub]
[/sub]Please do.MaxTheReaper said:
Hah! That sounds like kick ass fun xDLexodus said:Convinced upwards of 40 people that I was gay for over a year. Fun times
..So was this really a lie?
You been ninja'd :l Die in shame.4thegreatergood said:
Damn. You stole my answer! lolThe Maddest March Hare said:
Edit: I don't mind big asses...it's the fat rolls hanging out of the shirt that grosses me out
<spoiler=you don't really want to see this>
*told ya so*
Mine was over the phone to my mother. On my end of the phone, it went a little like this.
"No mother, I have not purchased a PS3 with my student loan."
"No mother, those are not my PS3 games hidden in my luggage, I am looking after them for a friend."
"....you found a receipt for a PS3 with my card details on it? Ah, well, you see I had to buy the PS3 for my friend because he had forgotten his card and didn't have enough cash and he had to buy it then and there because it was on offer, so I paid for him and then he paid me back."
"yes.....I have been lying.....*MOTHER HANGS UP PHONE*......hello? ....hello?"
"No mother, I have not purchased a PS3 with my student loan."
"No mother, those are not my PS3 games hidden in my luggage, I am looking after them for a friend."
"....you found a receipt for a PS3 with my card details on it? Ah, well, you see I had to buy the PS3 for my friend because he had forgotten his card and didn't have enough cash and he had to buy it then and there because it was on offer, so I paid for him and then he paid me back."
"yes.....I have been lying.....*MOTHER HANGS UP PHONE*......hello? ....hello?"
