The Escapist Advice Thread

[karcentric]

A tri-corner pirate hat with a BIG feather.

Dear Escapist, what should my next tattoo be?

((Capthca was first post!, nope, not even close))

 

[Scde2]

The names of the members of One Direction of course!

I have a kidney stone, wat do?

 

[Kae]

Nothing just let nature take it's[sub]painful[/sub] course.

How do I tie a tie?

 

[Scde2]

Ask your friendly neighborhood homeless person to do it for you!

How do you steal candy from a baby?

 

[username sucks]

Sedate the baby first.

What should I do in Minecraft now?

 

[Scde2]

Rule with an iron fist.

Dear Escapist, who can I trust?

 

[Dr.Susse]

Trust no one. They are all only in it for themselves.

Dear Escapist, How can I tell the time without a clock?

 

[Scde2]

Use Aboriginal smoke signals.

Dear Escapist, how can I force myself to finish Final Fantasy XIII?

 

[MrCollins]

Play better Final Fantasy games at the same time, that way you will be convinced you're not bored.

Dear Escapist, how should I get rid on a clingy friend i don't really like?

 

[username sucks]

A good hitman can work wonders.

How grammar do I?

 

[Scde2]

Goodly.

Dear Escapist, how can I be a better mod?

 

[Kae]

Ban all the other mods and you'll be the BEST one!

How can I ride a motorcycle without falling?

 

[username sucks]

Ride it in a zero-gravity environment.

How should I celebrate my completion of my C-CRaP paper?
[small][sub]Yes, that is the name of the paper.[/sub][/small]

 

[Scde2]

By cutting out its heart and feasting upon it.

Dear Escapist, people have called me unstable, how do I prove them wrong?

 

[MrCollins]

Show that what a really unstable person them to learn is. Be as wild as you possibly can. This will allow them to see what an unstable person looks like, and conclude that you are fine.

Dear Escapist, how do I get my neighbors to make less noise?

 

[Yuno Gasai]

Hit the mute button.

Dear Escapist, how I mine for fish?

 

[Scde2]

In a volcano!

Dear Escapist, how do I discover volcano fish?

 

[Kae]

By diving on lava of course.

Dear Escapist, how does one learn to play music?

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

Rock Band.

Dear escapist, I am terrible at getting into relationships, how do I get a girlfriend?

 

[MrCollins]

I believe there are a wide range of women available near you (at least, there are according to all the banner ads, maybe you should click them)

Dear Escapist, how can I increase my tolerance to alcohol?