The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Ramthundar]

Ram was awakened by his nap as he saw a strange man in pink tights coming towards him, a gleeful expression on his face and what appeared to be a large Pringles can in his pants.

"Oh fun, someone else here to join me for some grassy relaxation. And he brought snacks!"

The odd man had almost reached him (arms held out in what appeared to be a traditional hug), before he was taken out by a frantic young man.

"SIR! SIR! Oh please by the Gods tell me you're the warrior sent by Thor to save us? Or if nothing else, that you have a can of soup in your pants."

"Scuse me, young man but the Servant of Thor thing would be muah." Ram declared, giving a small bow to the now confused boy.

"But....but you're just a lame goat!" he cried.

Ram's horns crackled for a second, before emitting a large thunder bolt that tore the ground before the teen.

"I prefer the name Ram, thank ye" he said casually, pretending not to notice the kids growing wet spot (or the Odd Pink man's can growing...)

"We are in need of your help, Oh Great and Grand Hero of Thor! An evil creature by the name of Maddawg is trying to summon creatures from the netherworld!"

Ram stood, a new determined gleam in his eye. "Then we shall make haste! Where'st be this creature of evil?"

"At the Grand Canyon!"

"Ah, that will be the perfect place for his...GRAND RETROBUTION!" Ram cried, jumping on top of a nearby rock and striking a pose.

".....if you could kill him, that be cool too..." the teen muttered.

"Or that! You, man in the Pink! You seem like the heroeing kind. Join me so that you may serve Thor and the GREATER GOOOOOD!" Ram declared, turning the last two words into a battle cry as he dashed off towards Arizona.

Spoiler: OCC

If'en you'd like to be a good guy, just meet up with Me and Orgazmo or meet us at Maddawg's Evil Plan. Remember, good guy=Guy who gets ALL the ladies!

 

[SteakHeart]

The alien slug crawled out of his hole into the sun. "Ahh, what a beautiful day!" he squelched. Suddenly, a pink-suited hero and a ram ran by, saying something about adeventure. "Adventure? COUNT ME IN!" He slithered after the pair, leaving a small trail of slime.

 

[Sam G]

IN THE OLD UNIVERSE... ...BY WHICH I MEAN, THE THIRD AND MOST RECENT OLD UNIVERSE...

"You'll never defeat me, Death! Not unless I decide you do!" Sam G yelled, and swung his lightsaber at Death's head.
"Well, I'm sure as goddamn hell going to try!" Death replied, ducked under the blade of energy and swung his own at Sam's feet. Sam hopped over it and kicked Death in the face, flooring him. He was about to deliver the killing blow, when suddenly he stopped. "A new reincarnation..." He turned to Death. "You'll regret not being able to die after this. There is a fate worse than a heroic sacrifice: The descent into obscurity."
"What? Are you saying the RP's restarted again? You'd best let me go then! I have a Ram to re-introduce myself to!" Death declared.
"I'm afraid not." Sam G turned and started walking away. "You see, frankly I've gotten bored with you, so I've decided to introduce a new player-character to the plot: Me."
"What? No!" Death started sweating profusely. "Take me with you then! We'll go together!"
"Idiot." Sam karate-chopped him in the back of the head, causing him to see a modified past of 90 pages ago, way back to the first post. "One character per player! Even if I wanted to take you, I couldn't!"
"But... I'm a major character! I've been prominent to the plot for almost half the RP! You can't just leave me here in a dying universe! Haven't I always been good to you? We made people laugh together! Come on! SAM!!!" But it was too late. Sam G turned away and vanished, leaving Death to the fate of the universe he was trapped in, and had no way of escaping as it rapidly vanished from canon.

Sam plummeted towards the earth. Well, there goes my single most beloved creation... I would have liked to kill him off in a dramatic way, but I had to go and make him immortal... Oh, God... He covered his face with his hands. Nothing to be done about it now. There's just one last thing I need to do before I hit ground zero... He spied the ram and the porn-star on the ground below him. Nobody wants to go adventuring with an overpowered stoic who has the ability to manipulate reality and cross through the 4th wall at will... And with that, he sealed his memories and powers in a pocket-watch, which he dropped into his Subspace Bag, never to arise unless the plot were to require it. Then he wondered why he did that. Then he wondered why he was plummeting towards the earth. Meh, I'll probably be alright. Just in case I'm not, though... He reached into his Subspace Bag and pulled out a trampoline, which he threw at the ground. The trampoline landed a split second before Sam did, and he landed directly in the middle of it. He turned to the goat and the man in pink who'd been watching his spectacle. "Evening, ladies."

Spoiler: OOC

Gee willickers, that's the single longest post I've ever made! What's more, I even changed my avatar for the first time since I joined the Escapist just for the occasion! Admire my dedication! Admire it, damn you!

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"Well.....this isn't something you see everyday." Said Maddawg giving a strange look at Darth Xandus.

"Well honestly sir, you're an evil alien who's traveling with a Crowbar wielding scientist who-"Said Alyx before Maddawg interuppted her.

"OH shut up Alyx! You don't even know how to spell your own name right!" said Maddawg before turning to the Sith and his robot. "Well if you must know we are trying to revive an army from the dead to fight for us so we may take over the world. You're welcome to join us." Said Maddawg before going back and finsihing the ritual and takes out a book full of incantations. "I was gonna have Alyx read it, but now that you are here you can. Just read the one on the page and we'll be right behind this rock!" Said Maddawg handing Xandus he book and hurrying everyone behind the rock. "WE'RE WITH YOU IN SPIRIT!"

 

[Sam G]

"By the sagging brests of Athena!" Yelled Orgazmo, as he saw Death.

Spoiler: DIE, YOU DAMN IDIOT!!!!!

The entire point of that post is that I'm wiping Death out of the timeline and replacing him with a new character! Maybe next time try reading it before posting a reply!!!

 

[SteakHeart]

The alien slug turned to Sam. "You're joining us on our quest-of-some-type?"

 

[SteakHeart]

The alien slug squelched angrily. "Can you idiots hear me?"

 

[Sam G]

"Yep! Not fully sure why though! It's just implanted in my mind that hanging out with you guys would be a fun thing to do!" Sam smiled and patted the gross little slug on the head. Then he turned to Orgazmo. "Hey, sorry about that."
"About what, you horny little man-beast?" 'Zmo asked him.
"Hmm... As a matter of fact, I don't know..." Sam pondered for a second, then shook his head and walked off after Ram. "Lancer! Dibs!"
"What?" Ram looked confused.
"Well, as there's four of us now, that practically constitutes a five-man band, so we need to assign roles. You're obviously the Hero and Orgazmo's clearly the Chick, so I'm calling Lancer!"

 

[SteakHeart]

"Ooh! Ooh! I call demolitions!" The alien slug pulled a rocket launcher out of his pocket and blew up a nearby building.

 

[Sam G]

"Alrite then, now all we need is a tough one! ...Phil can probably do that!" Sam pointed a finger at the air.
"...Who's Phil?" Ram asked.
"...I don't know..." Sam rubbed his head. He kept having these weird flashes of vision, as if he were seeing things no-one was meant to see, and his brain was preventing him from fully accessing them... There were all these words everywhere, and the odd name jumped out at him that he recognized... And he kept seeing things that he thought he recognized, but before he could concentrate on them they dissappeared...
It was like being in a room, only the western wall was made of glass. There were holes in it, and only his hands were narrow enough to reach through...

 

[Sam G]

Sam instinctively whipped his head forward and smacked Orgazmo in the nose. Then he got up and started apologizing profusely. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I did that." He reached into his subspace bag and pulled out a tissue, which he handed to 'Zmo. While he was in the bag, his hand brushed against something round and metallic, like a... Small metal turtle shell, or something... Probably best not to dwell on it.
Within a matter of seconds, he'd already forgotten about it.

 

[SteakHeart]

"Huzzah!" said the slug, firing off another rocket.