The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[maddawg IAJI]

Maddawg walked away to speak with his leading Admiral, Cap'n Sky.

"Argh, I don't feel comfortable with a guy who blows up moon's for fun. I like the moon damnit!"Said the Cap'n to Maddawg and Jeeves.

"Indeed sir. He does seem....a little erratic." Said Jeeves taking Sky's side.

"Damn it Jeeves! What did I say about calling people that!? You and I both know that people of his race have been battling prejudice all their lives and now you have to go and say that!" Said Maddawg wagging his finger at Jeeves.

"No sir, you misunderstand. Erratic isn't a raci-"

"THERE YOU GO AGAIN! What's wrong with you man, it's like I don't even know you anymore!"

"Argh back to the matter at hand please? I got a Skittle bath in 5 minutes and I don't want to be late!"

"Right right right, so what should we do then?" Asked Jeeves.

"I got an idea!" said Maddawg going over to Ganondorf. "Hey! Ganondorf!"

"What!?" Said Ganondof waiting for the gun to recharge so he could destroy another moon.

"There's no easy way to say this, but....you're fired!" Said Maddawg slamming his hand on the button of a control panel nearby.

Suddenly the Super Gamma Ray gun began to shake and thrusters below it began to pick up. The gun lifted off the bow of the ship and quickly accelerated into the sky. "IF YOU SURVIVE REENTRY INTO THE ATMOSPHERE, BE SURE TO CLEAN OUT YOUR OFFICE!" Yelled Maddawg before turning back to the others.

"So then....you were gonna show me the skill of your men Admiral?" Said Maddawg.

"Argh! FULL SPEED FOR NEW YORK!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHTHISISSOMUCHWORSETHANITHOUGHTITWOULDBEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!" Ganondorf screamed as he left Earth's atmosphere. Fortunatly, in laws of the universe do not apply here and there is air in space. Ganondorf fell back down to Earth, the Super Gamma Ray gun disentigrating, protecting him. He crashed back onto Maddawg's boat.
"*Cough cough*... THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! Can we do it again? Oh but wait... I have to go clean out my office..." And Ganondorf went below deck to clean out his office. He later returnned with a box containin pictures of his family, all his Gerudo pr0n (Hidden at the bottom of the box), the decapitated heads of many of his foes, his computer, his name plate, his Zelda figurine, and a dark book of evil magic spells not meant for the eyes of normal mortals.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

"Wow...okay who forgot to turn the air off in space? And how the heck did Gravity pull you back down? You left the Atmosphere! YOU SHOULD HAVE BECOME A MAN/MAN-MADE SATELLITE!" Said Jeeves trying to wrap his mind around what just happened.

Maddawg whispered to Sky who took Jeeves a few feet away from Ganondorf while he mumbled to himself. "Well, good to see you managed to clean out your office okay. I suppose the least we could do is supply you with a boat." Said Maddawg pointing to a now ready row boat.

"Well, that was nice of-"

"OKAY! BON VOYAGE GANONDORF! HAVE A NICE LIFE AND WHAT NOT!" Said Maddawg, cutting him off mid-sentence and pushing him toward the boat.

About a half hour later, Ganondorf was nearly over the horizon.

"Wow Maddawg, I'm quite surprised you just let him go. I figured you would have tried to rip his head off for not dying and defying logic." said Jeeves as they watched the small dot that was Ganondorf.

"And make a mess on the deck of the ship? Never," he said turning to the Captain. "How about now?" he asked.

"Argh, he be just out of range!" she said.

"Good." Said Maddawg as he took out a detantor and flipped the switch. A black ball began to grow where Ganondorf's boat was, for attached to the bottom the boat was a Subspace bomb, developed my R.O.B. The bomb engulfs everything within 5 miles of it and takes all who enter it into the subspace realm, an ancient realm ruled by the monster, Tabu.

" Now then where were we Sky?"

"FULL STEAM TO NEW YORK!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Wait... I know this! NO! NOT THE FUCKING SUBSPACE!!! GANONDORF SUCKS AT FIGHTING TABUU!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Ganondorf gets sucked into subspace were he encounters Tabuu.
"...........Shit."
100 tries later!
"FINALLY! Damnit! Ganondorf just CANNOT fight Tabuu! I'll be sure to introduce Maddaw to one of my favorite monsters..." Ganondorf says as he flies out of subspace on Kirby's Dragoon, which he stole.
He pulls out a cell phone and calls Frank the moblin.
"Hey Frank. Yeah. Yeah, hey Frank? Put Slender Man on the phone for me."
"FUCK! Do I have to go near Slender Man?" Frank said in fear.
"JUST THROW THE PHONE TO HIM! He'll catch it!"
"Alright boss..."
"Slendy? You there?
"....Huhhhhh...."Slender Man says.
"Ok good. I need you to go pay a visit Maddawg. He's on his way to New York or something."
".....Huhhhhh...."
"Ok, thanks."

Spoiler: Read this before Slendy comes.

It's creepy as hell but this is what Slender Man is.
http://www.mythicalcreaturesguide.com/page/Slender+Man

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Maddawg and the Locust army marched into New York, making quick work of the national guard. They rounded up all citizens who they could find and loaded them onto slave trains where they would be shipped to Locust encampments all over the country to mine and work for the Locust Horde.

"Well, that was easy." Said Maddawg as he watched the citizens of New York being loaded onto the train.

"Indeed sir, another great victory for the Locust army." Said Jeeves carrying a tray of tea and skittles for his commander and his friend.

"Argh! I want the entire Hudson river drained! Nessy may be hiding there-"

"Sky! How many times have we've been over this? Nessy doesn't exist, he's just a myth!"

"Oh really Argghhh!!!? Then what's that!?" she said pointing behind Maddawg at a tall, slim figure in a black suit.

Maddawg turned and looked at the creature as it walked toward him. "Don't be silly, that's just Slender M-"

"IT'S NESSY!"

Slender Man walked over to Maddawg, who was at eye level with the beast. It hissed as it got closer to him until they were close enough to touch. It raised it's hand to Maddawg, stretching it slowly, when it was a few inches from his face, it stopped. It looked down to find a chainsaw was lodged into it's hip.

The Chainsaw started back up and Maddawg cut Slender man in half and then quickly went to chopping off the limbs and decapitating it.

Jeeves and Sky stared at him for several seconds. "Who's bright idea was it to send a monster who's main power is to stretch against a guy with a chainsaw! That's like sending Spongebob to fight Kratos!" said Jeeves, the other two weren't listening though, as they picked portions of what was once slender man and began to stretch the arms.

"Hehehe, it's just like Stretch Armstrong!"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Lord Ganondorf! I'm afraid Maddawg has defeated Slender Man with... Reason." Frank said.
"Curses! Reason... my one true weakness. Send NESSY!!!!!"
"Right away sir!"
Frank approached a cage the size of Chicago and looked inside.
Inside was a humongous Plesiosaur
"NESSY!!! Lord Ganondorf has ordered you to ggo destroy Maddawg! Or brutally maim him, he doesn't really care." Frank unlocked the cage and released the beast.

 

[hopeneverdies]

As Iji had hoped, one of the Devastators hit its mark. There was a loud explosion as Ryan was tossed across the room. But the recoil of the shot had weakened Iji. Without a nanofield to cushion the blow and strengthen her body, her arms felt as if they were about to be ripped out of their sockets and her back was rattled by the fall.

Her condition was also getting worse. Her body's immune system had been on a very long hiatus and was unprepared to fight off infection. She was feeling more and more ill with each passing moment. To make matters worse, Ryan had come out of the attack only slightly injured. Iji had to think of something quickly before she would be annihilated.

"No.... Please don't do this. You don't--," she began to have a coughing fit, "You don't know what you've done. You may have--,"

She fainted from the exhaustion.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

The group had finished loading the rest of the New Yorkers into the train. They cried for freedom in there crazy accents. Suddenly, a loud roar came up from the depths of the nearby Atlantic Coast. Nessy peaked it's head up looking for it's targets.

"Argh, I be knowing that sound! Its surely Nessy!" Said Sky.

"Of course it is miss." Replied Jeeves rolling his eyes.

"What'd you call me?..." Said Sky, a deathly glare in her eyes.

"I just said Of course it is Miss."

"THAT'S IT! HOW DARE YOU BE CALLIN ME MISS!," She yelled, grabbing Jeeves by the throat and began to strangle him. "NO ONE BE CALLIN ME MISS MISSY!"

Maddawg quickly broke them up, getting reports of a large sea monster waiting by the ports for them to come out. "Sky, for once you're right, it really is Nessy. What I want to know is why someone would send Nessy to kill us. We're on fuckin Dry Land!"

"Argh! No matter, we'll kill the beast and use it's hide as a sail!" Said Sky, "Nessy can't be killed by normal means though, it must first fight something of far greater strength, the giant octopus that rules the 7 seas! BURT!"

"Burt?"

"Aye, Burt! The only way to summon Burt though, be an ancient horn in the plains of Australia!"

"And how do you suppose we get to Australia while a giant dinosaur blocks the ports then?" Said Jeeves.

Several minutes later

"I love logic." said Maddawg as he leaned back in his first class seat on Delta Airlines.

Several hours later....or earlier...damn Time zones.

The group touched down in the down under and let Sky lead the way. They drove across the Australian plains in a jeep, moving closer and closer to Sydney Australia.

 

[hopeneverdies]

Hours later, Iji regained conciousness. The pain was gone and the illness that was about to consume her had disappeared as well. Not only that, but her nanofield appeared to be online and her Nanogun lay on the floor next to her. The room felt strangely familiar. It wasn't until Iji spotted someone that she realized where she was.

"Frohman?"
"What?"
"How did I get here?"
"Ask Xandus."
"And he is--"
"Right here. So you want to know how you're still alive?"
"Of course I do."
"Simple, I was keeping an eye on you through a scrying portal, saw you were close to death, and got you out of there."
"Well, thanks then."
"Now I have a feeling you'll want to know where the others are, right?"
"Sure."
"I'll just take you there."

He opened a scrying portal beneath Iji. She fell through the portal into the back of the jeep. The heavy thud caused the other three occupants to turn in her direction.

Spoiler: OOC

Sorry about the cop-out, but I really wanted to get that part done since Orinon hasn't posted in several days. Plus I just wanted to get back into the main story.

African plains, Maddawg?

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Spoiler: @hope

Yes, African Plains. The two continents collided and became Ausfrica. D= I think of Africa when I think of plains and don't worry, problem solved. >_>

Maddawg looked back at the girl who landed in the back of the Jeep. Sky followed his example and Jeeves had no choice but to look at her because she landed on top of him. After pushing lji off of him, Sky broke the silence

"Argh! It be-"

"If you call it Nessy one more time, I will toss you out of this jeep." Retorted Jeeves.

"I be about to say it was a young girl. No need to be snippy."

"Whatever, now then do you mind telling us who you are mi-"

"KANGAROO!" shouted Maddawg looking forward. Sky looked back to the road and quickly swerved out off the road and onto the African Australian plains, nearly hitting the marsupial.

 

[hopeneverdies]

Iji fell out of the jeep and onto the dusty plain. After a reluctant stop by Sky, she climbed back in.

"We never got yer name."
"Iji. And you are?"
"I be Cap'n Sky, he be Jeeves, and he--"
"Is already acquainted," Maddawg finished, "Now how in the Hell did you get here?"
"Scrying portal."
"Ah."

Jeeves still seemed to be bitter about being crushed and his features did not hide it.

 

[maddawg IAJI]

The Jeep entered the large city. Driving along the beach, they come across an old abandoned summer house. Sky parked the jeep in the driveway and got out of the car. "Okay you Landlubbers, we're here!" She said

"My goodness, what a beat-up old shack! The owners of this property must not have been very good at maintaining it."

"I know!," Replied Maddawg to the butler. Look at this, they left the trash out! That's just gonna attract Raccoons.

"ARGH! BE QUIET YE MORONS! For I shall tell you the tale of this here home," said Sky, now standing on top of the jeep. "Long ago, in the time of the great depression, this home belonged to an elite fighting force bent on protecting humanity from the dangerous paranormal forces."

Maddawg leaned over to Jeeves "That's the longest I've heard her gone without saying Ye or Be or Me or Argh or skittles."

Sky continued, "In this home is the one key to bringing back Burt, the giant octopus! He will be able to defeat Nessy, the wretched beast!"

"That's nice and all Sky, but how do you know this. Better yet, who were these elite guys?" asked Jeeves.

"Why they were known by many names, the elementals, the Guardians, the Destroyers, but they were offically known as, PIE!"

"PIE?"
"PIE!"
"Really? PIE?"
"Yes, PIE!"

Maddawg broke the conversation/cycle going on between Jeeves and Sky "Great...now I want Pie."

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Somehow, Ganondorf managed to project his face high above Maddawg and friends, making it look gigantic.
"You want PIE maddawg?!" He said.
"Yes! PIE!"
"Really? Want some PIE?"
"YES! Give me the PIE!"
"*NomNomnom* I'm sorry, I can't here over the sound of me chewing this delicious PIE"
Ganondorf moved the pie to where it was in full view.
"*Gasp!* You fiend!" Maddaw shouted.
"ARGH! I be preferin skittles!"
Jeeves slapped Sky.
"Be quiet!"
"ARGH! WHO ARE YE TO TELL ME TO BE QUIET?!"
"SHUT UP! I'm tryin to look at PIE!" Maddawg shouted.
"Oh, hey Maddawg! Wanna see something else?!" Ganondorf said.
"PIE!" Was the only answer he got.
"Well look at this!"
Ganondorf took a moblin and put it's crusty butt in full view.

 

[sky14kemea]

"Yarr, no worries! I know another beast that can eat hologram images." Sky said calmly, rooting around in her pockets for something.

"What is it this time?" Jeeves asked.

"I be calling the Leopluradon!" Sky said triumphantly, producing a small bell from her coat pockets.

"The... What?" Maddawg asked, shielding his eyes from the horrifying image on the hologram.

"Don't ye know any mythical creatures?" Sky rang the bell, and a large lizard-like creature popped into existance in front of them.

"Oh great Leopluradon! Please rid this horrible hologram from our sights!" Cap'n Sky yelled at the creature.
It snorted at them, before opening it's mouth, revealing something so terrifying and disturbing that it cannot be written here, for it would be immediatly censored anyway.
The hologram disappeared into it's jaws, and the Leopluradon slowly crawled away into the sands.

"All better." Sky said, now that the image had disappeared.

"You call that better?!?" Jeeves cried out, his eye twitching from watching the Leopluradon eating.

"Argh, don't be such pussies. Into tha house we go!" She yelled, leading them through the front door of the beach house.

Spoiler: OOC

I'm back! Temporarily... for like a few posts :/

 

[maddawg IAJI]

The group walked inside to a trashed house. The building was probably no bigger then 2 stories and 80% of it was covered with trash from the parties that teens had held here. Beer cans and prophylactics littered the ground as they stepped around.

"So what are we looking for again?" Asked lji

"Argh, we be looking for the staff of Herman! The last master of the mighty octopus!" Replied Sky, being careful not to touch any of the trash.

The 4 of them split into two teams, lji and Maddawg took the second floor and Sky and Jeeves took the first. Jeeves complained about this, but Maddawg just yelled at him and told him it was for the sake of the comedic relief.

The two seperated, and Sky and Jeeves wandered into the study while Maddawg and Iji searched the bedrooms up stairs.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Ganondorf was busy vomiting in his Evil Bathroom after seeingg the horrifying image from the Leopuparatidonto-whatever.
"Oh god... *BWARF!!!*"

 

[sky14kemea]

Cap'n Sky and Jeeves searched through the study. As Sky started flipping chairs and tables, Jeeves studied a nearby bookshelf.

"Hrmm.. If this house is anything like the Wayne Manor, then there should be a hidden passage behind this bookshelf Mi- Uhh.. Captain." Jeeves said to Sky, interrupting himself at the last second when he got another glare from her.
He picked a large looking book and tipped it, causing the bookshelf to slide back and reveal a small elevator.

"Well done Batman." Sky said sarcastically, going into the elevator with Jeeves.
"I thought Alfred was Bruce Wayne's butler anyway." Cap'n Sky said, looking confused.

"Only on Mondays and Thursdays." Jeeves said slyly.
"I got Wednesdays and Fridays, and Robert got Tuesdays and Saturdays....Bruce has to wipe his own ass on Sundays."

The elevator stopped, making a small 'ding' as the doors open. They walking into a strange underground part of the house.
"Arrr, this isn't at all foreboding." Sky mumbled to herself, as they walked down a corridor and entered the room straight ahead.

Inside was a small houseboat floating in a giant pool of water. The pool was very deep, and looked like it led into an underwater cave somewhere nearby.

"Might I suggest looking in the houseboat?" Jeeves said, holding his arms out for Cap'n Sky to go first.

"Ye can suggest all ye want. Now get moving." She said, pushing him ahead of her in case there was someone hiding inside.

They cautiously opened the door, finding it empty inside.

"Scaredy-puss." Cap'n Sky growled at Jeeves, marching ahead of him and rooting through the cupboards.

"[small]It's 'Scaredy-Cat' actually...[/small]" Jeeves corrected her quietly. They searched until they found a small collection of canes in a warddrobe.

"Which one is it?" Jeeves asked.

"The hell would I know?!?" Sky raged, grabbing all of them and marching back out of the houseboat. They made their way back to the elevator, bickering the whole time.

 

[hopeneverdies]

Moments before...

Iji and Maddawg were searching the even more filthy bedroom.

"Urgh, this is disgusting! It smells like Herman died in here."
"Yeah, I think he did."

Iji kicked over a pile of rags, incensed by the stench. There was a muffled cry of pain. The rags lifted themselves up and approached the pair.

"And how do you think that happened?" asked the man.

Soon after, it seemed as if the entire floor stood up and edged towards the intruders.

"Get'em!" cried the first, the leader.

Iji and Maddawg scrambled to the bed now that the door was blocked and began firing at the mob. Iji noticed a strange circular carving in one of the bed posts. She elbowed it right in the hole and a noise from below could be heard.

 

[sky14kemea]

As Sky and Jeeves made their way back into the hallway, they could hear yelling from upstairs.
"Sounds like fun!" Sky said eagerly, but before she could start climbing the staircase, a very loud alarm rang out.

"Someone tripped the alarm!" Jeeves said.

"arr, no shit Sherlock!" Sky said, as they climbed the staircase. Behind them, more rag-covered figures started shambling out of the other rooms.

"Urhh... Captain?" Jeeves said, slowing down and spotting the figures behind them.

"No time! To battle!" Sky roared, jumping into the bedroom where Maddawg and Iji were. She began beating some of the figures with the various canes she was holding.

"Have at ye!" She challenged them.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Don't you have something more effective than a machine gun, Iji?"
"If you want me to bring this entire shack down on our heads, then yes I do," she replied while giving a rather hungry hobo a boot to the head.

The mob of hobos seemed to be neverending, the floor a mix of dirty colored cloth. The smell was becoming dramatically worse, until Jeeves and Sky burst through the door, brandishing several canes.

"Have at ye!" cried the Cap'n.

She charged into the fray, beating the homeless senseless, assuming that hobos had any sense in the first place.
Their numbers finally started to thin, but the stench of death was just as tough.

Once the last hobo was subdued, the group fled the shack and hopped in the jeep, bundle of canes and all.

"So, who be the idiot that triggered the alarm?"
Iji raised her hand meekly.
"Course it were ye, don't know why I asked."
"It had a pie engraved in it and--"

The fact that they may not have found the staff of Herman was not something to say out loud.