The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[Zirat]

*An indeterminate amount of time later*
-UUUUUCK

The Stig sent his fist crashing through a pillar, # 13 was looking at an ancient carving on a fallen wall that said 'KRATOS WUZ HERE'. If there were any gods, treasure, or power it's here then they were ages late to profit from them. He walked over to a large precipice, there was a carving of a eagle on the ground and an old sword laying there. Useless garbage.

The Stig kicks the sword away. "Hey, it may be old but it's probably worth something to someone" # 13 says as he runs over and tries to pick it up, but not really getting anywhere with it. He think's # 13 has a point and easily hefts the largeblade up in one hand. This entire thing was a bust, it was time to regroup with the others and come up with a new plan.

New sword in hand both The Stig and # 13 begin their descent down Mount Olympus. Both tired and aggravated at the lack of results this brought them...

 

[Orinon]

Little Ryan was now meditating his eyes glowed white with his clairvoyance. He was floating two feet above the ground his tail swinging like an upside down metronome. He knew the shrike would be gone but he had seen the shrikes return and knowing the shrike it would not be pleasant for the villains. speaking of Villains he would have to do something about Chell, she really needed to be stopped, he remembered the anti life equation and now it would seem Chell was the threat and not him, he would need to go to Chell but first there was another matter to attend to an Australian pub.
He then released Abby and got on her back like a horsey.
"Abby use quick attack to increase you speed we're going to Australia."
then completely ignoring the pipe he sped off into the sunset

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Where now? Aren't I already at the pub?"

Alice was extremely confused at his question. Just as Sam began announcing a new course of action for the heroes, Ryan showed up expecting her to come with him.

"Look, we're already at the pub and I'm listening to the boss. So just run along until he's finished. Then I'll make a decision."

 

[BoosterGold]

All the villians sat dejected on the ruins of Mt. Olympus.
"Well this sucks" said Sho
"I'm bored and my hair is singed, and I want to do omething fun" whined Chell
"Oh like what, what can we do every time we do something a group of 'heroes' shows up and beats us mercilessly, and I thought I was a troll" said Hazama.
The Stig grunts angrily


A swirling blue tunnel opened and spits out Chell, in a Lab coat and glasses.
"Oh hey guys, I'm Chell from a parallel world, I made this attachment for the portal gun which allows me to slide between worlds. I want you to have it now. she switches guns with Green Lantern Chell.
"I like you, you smell like cake and coffee and science." says GL Chell
"Yeah sure" says Parallel Chell while thinking by the combine she's absolutely bonkers.

"Here are your rules for the Timer, what I call the sliding device.
1. You have to slide when the timer hits Zero or wait forty years for the next slide.
2. Don't Die
3. Enjoy yourselves


"Yay we're going on an adventure" said Chell

 

[Orinon]

as the dimensional slider created a new dimensional portal there was a flash as little Ryan and Abby sped through the portal he had left a note at the pub explaining how he had to go inside a parallel dimension he feared the worst as the other villains entered they saw a peculiar sight little Ryan was standing in front of them
Hazama grabbed Ryan by the back of his shirt and lifted him up.
"Ryan what the hell are you doing here? this is for villains."
"What am I doing over here, what am i doing over there?" little Ryan then pointed to Ryan except this Ryan was grownup and had an eye patch
"Well well well, if it isn't the little wimpy weaklings came here for a beating did you? huh Hazama how did you get here so fast last time I saw you you were crying in that park because I ate your pet Bunny."
"What when did I have a bunny?" asked hazama really wondering why this Ryan was acting so strange.
"Isn't it obvious in this dimension everyone is different, I'm a hero in our dimension so in this dimension Ryan is a Villain. he probably thinks your the heroes. so now we gotta watch out, and yes I'm coming with you. I need to have a word with chell a lot of words."

 

[BoosterGold]

Chell takes out a red cell phone. "Hey Sam, Ryan's doing that thing he does again, wanna come pick him up"
"Damnit not again, we thought that he, was doing something stupid, I'll be right over, thanks for calling."
Sam popped through the portal, he looked quite angry.
"thanks catch you later." said Chell

"Ryan you little shit, get out of there right now." said Sam pulling Ryan back to the pub with magic GM powers.
"Bad Ryan no, you don't god mod your way into other peoples portals, now stay put, or I will boot you." he scolded
Issac ***** slapped him because Issac's cool like that.

 

[Zirat]

"Sooo... we just go through a portal into another universe?' # 13 asked after watching the Ryan-esque escapade. "Sounds awesome! Can we go now? I wanna go now!" He begged, excited over such an awesome prospect.

The Stig was interested as well, profit could be raked in easily and massive destruction could be left without major worries of eventual commeupance... that is unless some of them have there own sliders but what would be the chance of that?

 

[Sam G]

"Wait, hang on a minute," Sam muttered, letting go of Ryan's collar and wiping the blood off his brass knuckles with his shirt. Sam flipped open his phone and pressed "re-dial". "Chell, what was up with that portal thing? Are you going on some "Avatar Adventures: Shattered Dimensions" escapade without us?"

"Yep!" Sam heard Chell grin.

"...Can we come too? Pleeease? I've got really bad writers block, and the team needs something to do..." There was no reply.

Sam waited a moment. "...Chell, take the phone out of your mouth."

"Mmglfl!" the voice down the line replied.

"Could you... possibly hand me over to someone else please?"

Grimm delicately extracted the phone from Chell, slowly licked it to savour her taste (everyone threw up) and answered. "What's up?"

Sam blew a whistle down the line, shattering Grimm's eardrums. "Hah, classic! Alright, hand me over to Sho."

"What?" Grim asked, blood trickling from his ears.

Sho walked over, casually snapped Grimm's arm at the elbow and snatched the phone. "Hi, fuck you."

"Sho, let us come with you to the other dimensions. It sounds like fun."

"Can I just reiterate my previous statement? Okay, here I go: fuck you."

"Sho, don't be an asshole! Let us come too!"

"Your mom's asshole. Here, take this for me, would ya?" Sho tossed the phone over to Hazama.

"I-"

"You suck!" Hazama yelled.

"No, you suck!" Sam retorted.

"No, you!" Hazama replied.

"...Is there anyone else I could speak to?" Sam asked, exasperated. Hazama handed his phone over to someone.

"..."

"...Hi, Stig." Sam hung up the phone. "Alright, here's what we're going to do!" he said to his team. "Let's all sit very still and pretend we're going on a quest with the villains, shall we? This could be fun! We'll use our imaginations; it'll be like a game!"

And then, thank Christ, the iSam crashed through the ceiling of the building, joined by five other, familiar-looking faces.

Naturally, it would be at this point that, were Sam in this position, he'd say something snappy and engage his enemies, but of course, the iSam didn't talk, so he and his consorts just stood there for a bit. Eventually, the one in the black jacket took the initiative and said something.

"We are the Exile Legion! Prepare to die, consorts of Sam!"

"...That wasn't very witty..." Sam muttered.

"Oh, what, 'cause it didn't contain the word "*****" it isn't snappy enough? Abstract, back me up here."

The one in the brown cloak cleared his throat. "Okay, so, something snappy... like, uh, it has to be insulting the enemies, and also rally our guys to rush forward and attack as one, so, uh... maybe a little rhyme'd help...?"

"Stop talking to yourself, it makes you sound thick!" the one with breasts quipped, grinning widely. She turned to address the heroes. "Um... we don't like you, so we'll kill you now, if that's alright!"

"It's not alright. Nothing's alright. Gods, I'm depressed..." the one clad entirely in black mumbled. "The only thing this team means is that there's five more of me to hate..." He started cutting himself.

"...Smack the emo," the one at the back of the group ordered, and the female gleefully complied. "And now... destroy them." And at last, the team of assembled Sams rushed towards the heroes.

And then the goddamn EPIC FIGHT MUSIC kicked in. [http://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/the-la2t-frontiier]

 

[BoosterGold]

"Um right, that stupid interupption made me lose my thought." said Chell
"Hey Chell, check thi and introduction to SLIDING, as performed by Jerry O'Connell." said Sho holding up a tape.

 

[Sam G]

"Ay ay ay, none o' that!" The barkeep ordered, stepping between the two groups. The goddamn EPIC FIGHT MUSIC ground to a painful halt. "No fightin' in here. Look, read the sign." The barkeep pointed at a sign hanging just next to the door. It read, "JUST. DON'T. DO IT."

"Now, what made you think you could go and disregard my nice sign like that? I spent me own blood makin' it, I did." The barkeep held up his finger to demonstrate; sure enough, the top jointy bit was missing. "Me wife said, "use a pen!" I said, "but then how will I make me analogy fit?""

"...You're a bit wierd..." the boy at the back of the iSam's group muttered. "Anyway... what's to stop us from just charging through you to get to them?"

"I'm glad you asked, me lad. Oh, wiiife!" The barkeep's wife stepped out from behind the counter, brandishing something.

"Oh, god, she's got the broom! Scarper!" The man in the brown cloak yelled, running for the exit. The one in charge sighed and held out a hand to stop him.

"She's an old woman with a brush. What's she going to do to stop six of the most powerful beings in the multiverse?"

"Common sense has no place in this universe, you fool! Now do as the nice man says and scarper!" the girl cried, grabbing the one at the back's hand and making a beeline for the door. The cloaked one swiftly followed, joined reluctantly by the emo and the iSam, who'd noticed his group making for the hills. The one in black (though slightly less black than the emo, obviously; maybe I should think of a better means of referring to him?) paused at the door, and spun around, calling to the heroes, "You can find us at the cavern of trials! Except, of course, you can't if you're too wussy to attempt to fight us!"

"Nice one!" brown cloak called back over his shoulder, before charging after his comerades. The slightly-less-dark-than-the-emo-but-slightly-more-than-Sky's-pirate-avatar one flashed him a thumbs-up before following.

"So, uh... we've got a quest!" Sam declared cheerfully. "I'm not sure who those gents were, though they seemed oddly familiar... but something tells me we should track them down and kill them one by one. Anyone interested?" Hesitant hands were raised. "Ah, good. Let's get on with that then."

With their first actual goal for about a week ahead of them, the Heroes set off with renewed vigour, vowing to defeat that strange group of people and restore peace to... and prevent the destruction of... bloody hell, to kill a bit of time between the cradle and the grave.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Where exactly is this 'cavern of trials'?" asked Alice.

"That... is a very, very good question. Anyone have any answers?" Sam yelled to the group. No one responded.

They had been travelling for several days. Their direction was extremely vague, the only knowledge of their destination being the fact that it isn't the bar. In fact, they didn't even really know what the cavern was beyond being a cavern with some kind of trials. Really it was just a hot mess.

Just then the Absol they captured dashed towards the group with Ryan on it's back.

"I think Abby has an idea for where we should go."

 

[Orinon]

Ryan then tossed several ropes which were tied around Abby's waste
"Hang on, Abby go to the cave."
Abby looked around then found the direction everyone was confused as to why they would need the ropes when Abby pulled them all with the speed of a race car.
"Why is she so fast?' screamed Sam dirt getting in his mouth
"Well she was lot slower before but then i thought why ride on a pet I can easily outrun, so I trained her to run at high speeds for long periods of time. don't worry at this rate we'll be there in no time."
"This is such a drag!" yelled Yoshi

 

[Sgt_Jakeman214]

The Absol came up to a cave and stopped milimeters from the wall next to the entrance. Everyone else however, didn't. The Hero's all smacked into the wall, shattering the rock in several places. As they all got up and began to dust themselves off and orientate themsleves, Ryan sat on Abby, proud as punch. Sam and Yoshi were the first to regain their senses, and Sam began to reach for his hyperspace bag. Yoshi put his hand out, stopping Sam. "No. I'll deal with this little god modding bastard. That hurt, and I'm sick of his insanely annoying habit of taking the fun out of life. Life is half about the journey to the destination, and I'm now outta half a trip."

Yoshi approached Ryan, who was getting off Abby. "Hey there Ryan. Thanks for the trip!" Yoshi said faking being happy. "O Rly? You liekded it?" Ryan replied. "Yep. I'd like to thank you, dinosaur to boy."Yoshi stepped closer, his hand out for a handshake. Ryan moved in, his hand ready when -BAM- Yoshi grabbed Ryan with his tongue! Ryan couldn't even scream before Yoshi swallowed the godmodding little boy. Yoshi's cheeks bloated, and then Yoshi layed an egg. The egg began to bounce up and down as Ryan tried with all his trenchcoating might to escape. Yoshi turned to the egg and began to clearly give a speech.

"Listen here Ryan. You cannot break out of that egg. You will stay there and think about your actions. You will not god mod. You will not trenchcoat. You will attempt to write in better paragraphs with thought out sentences and grammar, so that we can understand you the first time. I will give you two chances upon your release, and if you use both chances, on the third failure I will completely and utterly DESTROY you. These are the rules. Follow them, and have a nice day!" Upon completing his speech to Ryan, Yoshi picked up the egg and threw it as hard as he could against the cave wall. The egg burst into millions of peices, and Ryan lay in a messy heap in the shards.

"Oh, and you took us to THE WRONG CAVE!"

<spoiler=OOC>Orinon, you can post better than this. 3 freaking days before I could think of a post to continue the plot. Your grammar needs to improve, and PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy to everyone, CAN YOU STOP GODMODDING AND TRENCHCOATING! I want a complete list of skills and AT LEAST 2 weaknesses from you in your next post. You keep pulling skills out of nowhere dude. I don't like being hard on people, but your character is so far overpowered in even this wacky place, that it is driving me insane. We (by that I mean Sam and BoosterGold) had to stop you from participating in battles because of your godmodding and overpowered-ness.
Could you try and interact better, and ask for help if you can't figure it out. I'd rather help you than get mad at you, because if we help you, we'll all feel better rather than you and me fighting this out. That'll just make it worse, and one or both of us will end up getting banned.

 

[BoosterGold]

"Sorry this timer took forever to reach zero, and I was busy watchin Kamen Rider" said BoosterGold.
"No Bad Booster back on the otherside of the 4th wall." shouted Chell, wearing here holloween costume.

She opened the portal and every villian jumped in, leaving this dimension, behind.
the fell out in the old west dimension

 

[Sam G]

"CHILDREN OF MAN..." A deep voice rumbled from the depths of the cave.

"What could that be...?" Alice asked, looking a little worried.

"Doesn't matter; we're leaving," Sam said, kicking Ryan on the way past as he walked out of the cave's mouth.

*****

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Phil said once the whole gang was outside.

And then the ground exploded.

"Shit; wasn't expecting that!" Sam cried, flying upwards away from the ground, and the horrible-looking devilbeast residing beneath it. He smiled a little, almost comforted by the pleasant breeze he felt as he soared to the heavens. Then he started falling, though, and that was a whole different kettle of fish altogether.

As he fell, the devilbeast opened its' mouth, and Sam had to swerve to avoid plopping clean into its mouth. He shot past, along with his numerous advocates, straight downwards toward the centre of the earth. Fortunately, they didn't fall quite that far; less fortunately, they did land rather uncomfortably in the branches of an enormous oak tree.

"An oak tree? A few hundred feet beneath the earth's surface? Seriously? Ergwah-" A branch slammed into Sam's chest, knocking the breath out of him. He tumbled a bit more and came to rest on the ground, joined shortly later by his allies.

"So..." Sam glanced around. The Heroes appeared to be in an underground forest. The trees glowed with an unnatural sheen, and tiny little frolicky figures flitted from treetop to treetop, giggling as they did so. Having absorbed, these fresh marvels, Sam rounded on Alice and Phil.
"..." He opened his mouth, pointed at Phil's wings, waved his hands in the direction of Alice's feet which were hovering slightly above the ground, then sighed and gave up. "Let's look around a bit, shall we?"

 

[BoosterGold]

The Stig picked up a newspaper, from a near by garbage can, and handed it to Sho.
"It says here that we are in the coutry of Texas, which is currently at war with the United States of Canada...What the Hell is this shit!"

"How much time till the next slide Chell?" asked Grimm.
"NOMNOMNOM" Nomed Chell.
"WTF No bad Chell don't chew on the slide portal gun thing" screams Sho.
"Sorry, it says about 48 hours, give or take forum RP time conversion." said Chell with no regard for the 4th wall.

"We should explore" said Chell.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Oh, sorry." Alice landed with a soft thud on the forest floor and Phil followed suit. "I'll make sure to grab you next time we spontaneously fall."
"Look, don't worry about it."
"But you seemed a bit annoy--"
"Don't worry about it," Sam repeated with more force than before.

The subterranean forest was unlike anything the crew had seen before. Everything seemed to have a power of its own. The rocks, the trees, even the air exuded a magical aura. Everyone could feel it, the energy swelling inside them and restoring their strength. The heroes gave a collective sigh of relief that broke the silence of the woods. The strange, giggling creatures stopped their frolicking and turned to the newcomers. They were small, thin, and appeared to be quite nimble.

"Um, hello, we don't want to hurt you," greeted Sam.

The creatures simply looked as if he were speaking a different language. Probably because he really was speaking a foreign language. He tried a whole slew of tongues, even those that were really only tongue clicks and funny noises. They recognized none of them and actually looked a little bit frightened. Thankfully, the creatures didn't look very hostile.

 

[Orinon]

Little Ryan Had pulled out red fear in case if the foliage was too dense. he looked around the large trees had an inviting feel, as for the new creatures he was wondering what to do about them, they wouldn't understand language but he did think of a way to appear friendly he went over to Sam
"Hey Sam you got any food?" he nodded his head towards the creatures
"Ummm yeah my bag has everything and nothing, don?t you remember" at which Sam pulled out a bunch of graham crackers.

Ryan turned to the creatures, they didn't seem to find him threatening probably because they were the same size, and he had food, one of the little critters crawled forward its nose sniffing the food, Ryan gave it the cracker the creature brought it to the others who took turns nibbling the crackers.
"I had a feeling their primitive nature would make them be friendlier if we had food. There?s only one thing that animals like more than food."
"What's that?" asked Alice
"What else partying."

Spoiler: Ryan

Spoiler: stats

Strength: high
Speed: High
Intellect: average
Rage: EPIC
Zen: probably fake

Spoiler: Powers

katana called Red Fear, it cuts through anything and Ryan has an ability that when he screams Red Fear the whole blade glows red it also spreads out a wave of energy, but the direction and shape depends on the type of attack, essentially it allows him to hit a target that's out of normal range, the wave goes out by about 8 feet.
Clairvoyance (Can see future past or another location)
Transformation Dragonoid form, (like the form he used to have)
He can also turn into a giant dragon by starring at the full moon
Super form, is yet to use it but that is only a matter of focus.
Arm morph: mostly morphs his left arm into guns but with the right adjustment he can morph it into other things (Like a trumpet).
Anti-Grav-field: allows him the power to generate a field around himself where gravity is non-existent usually used for flight but could be used in other ways.

Spoiler: weaknesses

due to the bio-mechanical nature of his body EMP's have varying results sometimes it's the usual effect other times it takes an hour before he's knocked out in the meantime he's having a seizure other times it appears to not affect him but 10 hours later he'll go into stasis lock for 6 hours, without warning.
Another easier weakness is his sensitive tail if one were to get a firm grip it would paralyse him with pain but that would stop if you let go or even loosen your grip at which he would dart his tail out, at which point you made him very mad.
Super form itself has a weakness as after a while he will need to go into low power mode due to all the energy he used maintaining super form
.

 

[Zirat]

# 13 hit the ground with a thud, and picked himself up while dusting himself off. "Why are we in the middle of a wasteland?" He asked, coughing a bit at some of the fine dust he kicked up.
The Stig landed shortly after, sticking the landing and straightening himself up. He looked over and saw the other villains coming in and further behind them was a town.

"Yay, new destination!" Chell yelled as she ran off in the direction of the town at high speeds, but tripping over a lone skull of a steer along the way. "Ooow, I hate this place already" she pouted, The Stig just shook his head as he headed off to the town at a reasonable pace, # 13 following closely and now wearing a large black cowboy hat.

 

[Sam G]

"Well, as much as I hate to agree with you, Ryan, I'm never one to pass up an oppurtunity to get down with my bad self..." Sam reached into his bag and searched around for some sort of music-playing device. Before he was able to produce one, however, the creatures' ears perked up. Fear displaying in every inch of their being, they all turned tail and fled. Detecting a presence, Sam spun around and lobbed the DJ decks at full force at whatever was behind him. The turntables hit the statue directly and bounced off, landing in a screwed-up heap just behind it.

"What the hell...?" Sam muttered to himself. He moved closer to the statue. He could have sworn it wasn't there before, and on close inspection, it almost looked a bit like...

Sam placed a hand on the statue's face, checking to see if it would cause him to burst into flames or anything. It did not; however, touching it caused his vision to dim, and he could almost make out words flickering in front of his eyes.

You shouldn't have done that...

Ben drowned...

You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you...?

Sam heard a distant chuckling noise, coming from somewhere far off. It was immediately followed by a horrific scream, as though someone were experiencing unbearable agony, and they just wanted it all to stop...

"Run..." Sam said, turning back to his allies. Rivulets of blood dripped down from his eyes, and he collapsed onto the ground. The statue grinned, staring straight ahead at the Heroes.

And then it disappeared, re-appearing a few seconds later, slightly closer to the Heroes.

Sam had vanished.

Spoiler: F YEAH AA CREEPYPASTA!

Hey guys! Let's celebrate Halloween the only way we can; by turning the AA into a ridiculously silly and over-the-top, yet still maybe somewhat frightening horror thingy! You score points for how many people you manage to give nightmares.
Oh, and for anyone who didn't get the "statue" thing: read the Jadusable mythos [http://www.youshouldnthavedonethat.net/index.php/chapters/dayfour]. It's pretty creepy, and really well-done.