The Escapist Avatar Adventure: An Open RP (Now Re-Opened!)

[000Ronald]

OCC: Oh hell with it, what could it hurt?

Ganondorf laughed evilly. "TREMBLE BEFORE ME HEROES, AS I EAT THIS LOBSTER! NOTHING YOU CAN DO CAN STOP ME, MORTALS! BEFORE THIS DAY IS OVER, YOU WILL BOW BEFORE ME!" Ganondorf took a bite out of the lobster and laughed again for a moment before choking.

"Truly this is a horrific sight." Ramthundar said, shaking his head. "Not only are we completely unable to stop Ganodorf from slaughtering that poor lobster, but I'm hungry."

Rangorak's stomach grumbled. "Me too...I wish we saved something to eat..."

A robed figure shrugged. "I might have some chips in my bag."

Rangorak shrugged. "Yeah, I guess that would be better than HOLY CRAP IT'S THE LOGICIAN!"

The Logician ruffled through the worn black satchel at his side. "Yeah, I've got some-"

CybeRyan let loose a blast that shook the ground itself. When the dust settled, The Logician was nowhere to be found.

Ramthundar slapped CybeRyan on the back of the head. "That was The Logician! The Logician! One of the most awesome people in the history of the universe, ever! One of the only people even Maddawg is afraid of! Why did you shoot him?"

"Hello! Black robe? Pale skin? He was clearly a necromancer!"

"I have pale skin..." Phil said.

"And he had food, too..." Frank lamented.

"I still do." The Logician, said, stepping out from behind Frank. "I could order pizza or something, too, it's a snap over the internet."


"I JUST BLEW YOU UP! IN THE FACE!" CybeRyan yelled over Gannondorf, distruat. "HOW DID YOU SURVIVE?"

"HELLO!" Ganondorf yelled. "EVIL OVERLORD! RIGHT HERE!"

Rangorak shrugged. "He does that. Last time he was with us, it turned out he was just a bag of potatoes...or something, I'm not really clear on the details. What happened, Logician?"

"Mmm? Oh, I'm ordering pizza. Anyone else want some?"

"Yay! Pizza!"

"You are the most awesome person ever."

"Are you sure they'll come out here?"

"Oh GOD yes!" Rangorak said.

"Sure, I could go for some pizza." Ganondorf said.

ONE HOUR LATER!

"OK, so that's a grass and hay for Ramthundar, extra pepperoni for Rangorak, Sausage, and Motor Oil for CybeRyan, a lobster and live human young for Ganondorf, and two four cheeze pizzas for me and Frank. Do I have that right?"

"Why does Ganondorf get a pizza?" Phil asked.

"Well, we don't want him to go hungry." The Logician said. "He may be our enemy, but that doesn't mean we have to be asses about it."

"He was eating a feast before you got here." Ramthundar said. "He had lobster. Lobster."

The Logician turned to Ganondorf. "Is this true?"

"I...well..." Ganondorf stuttered for a bit before laughing. "I'm an evil bastard, what do you expect! I ordered a baby for pete's sake!"

"I thought you were joking." Loggy replied. "Fine then. No pizza for you."

"I...but...THIS ISN'T OVER, LOGICIAN! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE EN-"

The Logician snapped his fingers, muting the portal. "Don't care. Pizza'll be here in thrity minutes, guys."

"...or it's free?" Phil asked.

"No, it will be here in thrity minutes." Loggy replied. "You don't know these guys. They get the job done. I was once drifting out in the vast expanse of nothing and felt like having a pizza; they got there in fifteen minutes. True story."

 

[maddawg IAJI]

Spoiler: Not a plot moving post, just a happy moment

YAY! LOGICIAN IS BACK!

Sorry, I just needed to get that out of my system. Welcome back pal. =D

 

[Sam G]

"OH MY CHRIST, YOU'RE THE LOGICIAN!!!" Samantha yelled, hurling herself at the robed man's knees and hugging them. "You're everything I aspire to be... I could never have dreamed of meeting you, ever... many tried to fill the void you made when you left, not least of which me, but now you're back..." Sam gently rubbed her face against the Logician's legs. Then she drew herself up to full height and held out a notepad. "Here. I wrote about you. You can read it, if you like..." She rubbed the back of her head and grinned shyly.

Hey, Logician, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Logician

When the Logician looked up from the notebook in his hand, he noticed Samantha had moved a lot closer to him, so that their faces were almost touching. "You know," she mumbled introspectively. "It's awfully convenient I got turned into a girl a few pages back, otherwise things might get a little uncomfortable for you on the off-chance you're one of the 20 percent who isn't a raging bisexual in the AA... I mean, I'd be alright, as I'd try anyway, but still..." She edged closer, if that were possible.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Ganondorf sturggled to opne his mouth. "MPHMPHHPHHHHMHLOIPHIAPH!"
"Oh pipe down you overgrown pig." Said he logician.
"MPPPPPHHHH!!!!!" Ganondorf formed a lightning ball in his hands and threw it straight at the logician.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Frank suddenly realised something. "Wait, if a lot of us are infected, that means the angel will be able to find us." Suddenly there was a loud roar and the angel was back. At the same time, the pizza delivery guy arrived. "Hey I got your OMGWTFBBQ!!" The angel ripped his spine out with his mind. "No my double cheese!" Yelled Frank. He looked straight at the angel. "I've not yet had my moment of epicness, but that's about to change!" Said Frank, pulling out a shishekebab. "Cue epic music, let's dance!"

 

[Sam G]

"How's this? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXT_voYw9FY&playnext_from=TL&videos=Io9RDY05Fus]" Sam asked, riding around on the Logician's back like a horsey.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

"Fucking perfect!" Said Frank as he ran at the angel, dodging its missile attacks. He jumped onto the angel's back and rammed the shishkebab into its skull. As the angel shook its head, it threw Frank off its back and let out a roar. Frank fell to the ground, grabbing his head, trying to combat the angel's mind control.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Pa! Finally! I can talk." Ganondorf turned around and noticed the Angel. "YOU! You and your super diabetes! PREPARE TO DIE!!!" Ganondorf whipped out two blades instead of his larger two handed sword. "Since when do you have 3 swords?" Said Xandus. "Since the two from Wind Waker, which i'm usingg now, and the one from Twilight Princess. NOWW PREPARE TO DIE BAT THING!" Ganondorf ran up to the angel, while it was busy dealing with frank and leaped high and jammed the two swords into the top of it's chest and slid down, making two giant gashes in it's torso, then he leaped off and did a perfect 720 backflip. "HAH! How do you like that freak?" The angel screamed in pain and then raised one giant claw above Ganondorf. "Oh shit..." The hand came crashing down on Ganondorf. He tried to roll away but was sent flying by the force of the impact. He was thrown against a rock. "Augh!"

 

[000Ronald]

The Logician teleported, avoiding the electric blast. He then turned to the angel. Then to the side, then back to the angel. "OK, I've fought Those Who Cast Their Shadows Over The Mountains-" The angel fell to the ground, screaming in agony.

"OK..." Xandus said from the other side of the portal. "That was really wierd..."

Frank got up and kicked the angel in the side, then turned to The Logician. "Don't Steal My Thunder! I need this, man!"

Loggy rolled his eyes. "Fine, that's what I get for helping people."

"Giddyup!" Sam said.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Oh this is sooo fun to watch, my money is on the Angel destroying one of them."

"Ooh that looked painful for Frank."

Iji and Xandus turned towards the announcer from the fight.

"Do you mind?" they said in unison.

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Frank's eyes were red again. He looked at the angel on the ground screaming, he suddenly heard what it was saying. "Help me please, I'm in so much pain, kill the one who tortures me and, and, I'll get you a taco! Frank took out a desert eagle, aiming it at the lorican, trying to make up his mind. "He's become a victim to the angel's mind control!" Exlaimed Iji. Taco, or moral? Moral. Frank made up his mind, he put the gun to the angel's head and fired.

 

[000Ronald]

"OOh, he was just pointing a gun at you..." Sam said.

"Y'know, guys, these pizzas are still good." Ramthundar said.

"Are you ever going to get off my back?" The Logician asked Sam.

"Nnnnnnno!"

The Logician sighed, too kind and polite to just teleport him/her off his back. "So...pizza-"

A sword barely managed to miss The Logician, cutting a few hairs off his head. "DIE, LOGICIAN!" Ganondorf screamed, his voice brimming with fury. "DIE LIKE A STUCK PIG!"

Gannondorf rushed at The Logician, sword ready to swing. The Logician teleported, summoned a shotgun, and shoved it in Ganondorf's mouth. "Don't make me angry. Much greater fiends than you have trembled in fear of my fury. Seriously, I'm like a friggin' demigod, man."

"He is, too!" Sam said.

"So...truce? We've got some pizza here, and only one of them has grass on it. Maybe we could all sit down and talk out our problems."

"Or he could shoot you in the face with a shotgun!"

"Choice is yours."

 

[the infected (teamkiers)]

Frank got up, now he really was pissed. "Fucking bastard, I'm gonna go over there and rip his head off!" He shouted. He walked out into the middle of the road and a car nearlly hit him, the driver was honking his horn. Frank pulled him out of the car and put the desert eagle in his mouth and fired. The driver's brains splattered across the road. Frank jumped in the car and drove off, next stop, nexus, mission: massacre.

 

[hopeneverdies]

"Hey Xandus, I really need to use the restroom."

Iji left the game room. As she went down the hall, she looked out of the window and saw someone coming towards the castle. She couldn't see much, but those eyes. She knew something bad was going to happen.

"Er, Frank is here," she yelled down the hall, "He doesn't look too happy."

Iji grabbed her Nanogun and readied it. 'Well if he thinks that he can just kill us, he has another thing coming,' she thought.

 

[Ramthundar]

An hour before Iji's post

"Say friend, you look a little frazzled." Ram said, chewing a some pizza while he fiddled with the seat-belt on the passenger seat.

"GAH! The hell you get on here?"

"Thought you needed someone to talk to, what with the killing of the innocent and all. Not trying to put blame or anything on yah, but totally not cool. Anyways, what's up?"

"XANDUS WILL DIE!" Frank growled, his anger staining this words with red font.

"Hey, I know he's a big jerk and does want to kill us, but that doesn't mean we should go and kill him! That's just crass." After seeing Frank run over a pedestrian and concurring his little speech didn't work, he pulled out a board-game. "Perhaps some Monopoly will cool you down?"

An hour later...

"F*CK YOU AND YOUR TRIPLE HOTEL BOARDWALK! You can't even have more then one hotel!" Frank said while giving another wad of phunny-money to Ram.

"D'aw, wittle Frank jealous cause I'm KICKING YOUR DISEASED ASS!?" Ram cried, throwing up his massive collection of fake dollars.

"Weren't you trying to calm me down?!" said Frank accusingly.

"Yeah? Well, aren't you supposed to be driving?!" Ram shot back.

Frank looked back on the road, finding he was in a massive tunnel (the Nexus is underground) and speeding right at a large castle.

"SHIIIIIII-"

 

[Fury Is Me.]

"Fine... Whatever... Where's my baby pizza?" Ganondorf said.
"It's right here." Ram waised up a pizza with a crying human child on it.
Ganondorf walked up to Ram and picked up the pizza slowly.
"There there little one... It will be alright... Papa Ganondorf is here..." He said in a fatherly voice.
The baby stopped crying and looked at Ganondorf with love in it's eyes, then it began to laugh.
Ganondorf smiled back at the baby then picked up the 3 slices it was lying on.
"Who's a good baby? Who's a good baby? That's right, you are, yes you are." He said.
The baby began to laugh.
Halfway througgh the baby's innocent giggling, Ganondorf bit it's head off.
"Holy shit dude..." Sam said.
"Whoa... That's totally evil." Said Ram.
"Sho, *Munch Munch*" Ganondorf sat down. "What dish you guysh what tosh talk about? *Chew Chew*"

 

[000Ronald]

"That's odd...I told them not to bring that pizza...and they told me they discontunued the 'Human Young Special' after The Christian Leauge blew up all their building..."

"I'm not complaining." Ganondorf said.