The Escapist Plays: Civilization V (MOAR PLAYERS PLS)

[Bohemian Waltz]

Pwn Geneva! If you let them recover than they shall try to kill you for revenge anyway

Welcome new senator of the great Iroqouis Republic! I like your thirst for blood, but I'd like to point out that we were/are war with Greece and Geneva is a city-state (1 city basically barbarian settlement). They won't be recovering from anything and probably won't even see it coming.

In this instance we would be the aggressors and the horrible evil empire on the horizon threatening to devour them. If/when we go to war with them I imagine it will be brutal, short, and filled with very much pwnage.

If you stick around long enough you have my word that it will be a glorious event. You'll also gain the added benefit of of having a settlement named after you in your honor if you hang about and demand things of our chancellor lackthenack with us filthy rabblers.

 

[lacktheknack]

General consensus: Obliterate Geneva as soon as our army has recovered.

As for now: PEARLS!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046329392/CF424B466B3713EBDDC127DCC5C4DC269314C275/

At Waltz's request, we shall now put a catapult in the queue, but I'm not sure we're going to wait for it (that would be seventeen turns, after all!).

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046316690/4687A2CF7793A9C63923E1F0E1BC23B45DE810A4/

Time to tie some bonds. Let's just check the diplomatic list and - HEY!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046325415/FBB92B5BC89EACBA8627D11256247A3F38EEA6FD/

Well, we COULD declare everlasting friendship with the Greeks now (?????????), which may not be a bad idea. Should we go for it? Or are we too bloodthirsty?

Anyways, let's try the Japanese.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046324085/16F1A5C12D054E751D7B02A51419F7C4F9275A87/

Fair enough. I doubt the Romans will go for it either. The Incas should, though!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046337211/E786EA647A81B58E7CFD01B8C1833E639E20B5B5/

Excellent.

Eumersiania requests Dyes.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046331528/2DB984F70D1114CC2FC2843221680E45864A3641/

They'll be coming soon, very soon.

Meanwhile, in the wild wild west, our scouts have discovered several British warrior platoons.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046327389/8146D9EDA4803B9DDF3EE2953E02BFE831FD6FC3/

What are they planning?

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046338569/597CA5E96A00EDA0DD0A9472A25A5615CE1DD174/

It's not like we're in desperate need of gold. Besides, we can probably buy it back. Sure, why not?

*image missing*

Well, Elizabeth darn well went to war with Japan. So THAT'S what the soldiers were for. Good thing we didn't sign a pact of friendship after all.

Compass: Done!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046341408/7B68F7ABBDE93FDB305D7805FECAF11F0A8290B2/

The only thing left in the Slingshot plan is the Hagia Sofia. Hopefully, we can get to the Renaissance Era before the next policy selection.

Until then, what should we research?

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046333682/14A1DED331173BD5B6D64FE278F5B1255A891D02/

Another Settler is finished. Where should we send it? What should we build next in Knackopolis?

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046334859/337F4F48157560B82E00DC8A551C52B53B7F2413/

And, for that matter, what should we do next in Eumersiania? They're almost done their workers.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046321946/91BD620D8405E2E674426BA1617C7DE10F51714C/

And, at Waltz's request, a map of the scouted areas.

West:

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046342554/CE49BD394668E89AC312E4ABC082C75E729A8893/

East:

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423046339855/A519BB57D6F137ED6040257F0A351EED3D44B38D/

By the way, Waltz, how about we build the catapult in Knackopolis, and the Porcelain Tower in Thinville? Doesn't the great engineer spawn in Thinville, or does it spawn near the capitol? At any rate, we'd get the catapult done quicker...

 

[Mr Thin]

Why is the catapult greyed out in all the build lists? That seems like a bad thing. I thought it would be best to build the catapult in Knackopolis myself and keep on the Haga Sophia in Thinville. If the catapult can't be built there though, I want that University. For science!

Also, why did you turn the resource display off for the scouting maps? I can't vote for where to send the settler without being able to see them clearly. Maybe others can, I'll let them decide.

Eumersiania... Market? Nothing's really jumping out at me as the best to build, and money's always nice.

What production focuses are all the cities set to? Do they get individual focuses, or is it a nation-wide thing? Curse my inexperience with Civ 5!

Finally, for research, I say Construction followed by Metal Casting, so we can get Longhouses! Because I looked em up, and they sound handy-dandy.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Nothing much to say again. Sorry.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

At Waltz's request, we shall now put a catapult in the queue, but I'm not sure we're going to wait for it (that would be seventeen turns, after all!).

---------

By the way, Waltz, how about we build the catapult in Knackopolis, and the Porcelain Tower in Thinville? Doesn't the great engineer spawn in Thinville, or does it spawn near the capitol? At any rate, we'd get the catapult done quicker...

Spoiler: My reasoning on the Catapult & Wonder placement:

Catapults require a source of Iron to build or operate at full STR. You might not be able to queue it up since you only have 1 source and if you are I'm pretty sure either your longswordmen or catapult will operate at half STR. I figured that the time allotted to build Hagia in Thinville and produce the catapult would burn through the rest of the 30 turns we sold our Iron off for and if it didn't by the time we positioned it for use we'd have our Iron back and it wouldn't be an issue.

A catapult is a STR 14 attack on bombard with a 10% increase for hitting cities mixed with the increase from a great general gives us a 19+ attack on a STR 16+ city. The biggest problem with capturing a city especially one with such high STR is that if you don't do it quickly then their city bombard and your inability to heal effectively wears down your units till they're not strong enough to take it. A catapult doing 19+ str damage plus an archer softening up the target should drop it's hp between 1/4 to 1/2 toss in your longswordsmen with the great generals bonus and the city is either captured or on it's knees if necessary 2 Mohawk warriors should be enough to finish the job. We'll likely have to burn a turn killing their archers and then the 2nd turn take the city given adequate support, leaving only 1 turn for them to retaliate and bombard us. Giving them 2-4 turns to soften up our units or rush buy units of their own will throw a very annoying monkey wrench and any potential conquest. Under that premise a catapult is a high priority if we're looking to capture cities.

We can probably take Geneva at any point in any case, but I'd prefer not to lose any/minimal units as the production time for building them makes every unit very valuable in Civ 5. Gone are the days in civ 3 of cheap disposable/stackable units.

I don't much care where a catapult is built as long as it functions correctly, but I'd strongly advise not trying to take the city without one or at the very least 3+ archers.

As for Porcelain Tower bit, yeah I think the engineer should pop in Thinville if I remember correctly. My thought process on rushing the tower in Knackopolis is simply that we already get +1 great scientist point from the great library and we'd get +2 great scientist points from the tower. This won't immediately effect anything, but will narrow the gap needed to fill up the requirements to get a free great scientist down the line in the far off distant future. So in terms of optimization it's better in Knackopolis, but if it's too much trouble rushing it in Knackopolis then Thinville or Waltzburg if we want to spread we wonders around isn't a catastrophe or anything. The Great engineer should cut it's production time to 1 turn so it hardly matters in terms of busying a cities queue.

My votes:
-Units: Horde military in Thinville (as usual). Plant that settler on the southern most yellow marker (Cotton is another luxury we can use, English proximity be damned!). When the workers in Eumersiania are done plow the hell out of that wheat.
-Eumersiania's Queue: Erect up Market then Library in Eumersiania.
-Knackopolis Queue: crank out a Mohawk Warrior, Settler, Settler. (Throw Catapult at the front of that list if possible and others deem it so)
-Diplo: Screw Alexander publicly denounce him and spread the rumor that he fellates his pony. (kidding about the specifics, but seriously denounce the hell out of him).
-Tech: Research construction (for lumber mills) and move towards getting metal casting for the Iroqouis Unique building (longhouse). Jump eras to astronomy when appropriate (engineer from Hagia rush PT, scientist from PT jump astronomy).
-Military: If you can't build a catapult anywhere then set an archer behind whatever is on the queues in Waltzburg/Thinville. Current priorities supersede warmongering, but don't invade Geneva with anything less than (1 Longswordsman, 1-2 Mohawks, 1 archer, [either 1 catapult or 2 archers]) Whenever you have that force. My vote is constantly for positioning them strategically on the border to eliminate their forces and invading.

 

[Mr Thin]

Nothing much to say again. Sorry.

leet, man, dude, brah, homie, friend, compatriot, brother-in-arms... you think I have half as much a clue as Waltz? No, but I post anyway, because by christ the point of this game isn't to play smart, it's to get a bunch of Escapians stewing together and see how long it takes for us to crash and burn.

Don't know which technologies to pick? Pick the two that sound coolest and flip a coin. Not sure which units we need? Choose ones who's names have the most amount of syllables. Just pick something! The more opinions the merrier.

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Nothing much to say again. Sorry.

leet, man, dude, brah, homie, friend, compatriot, brother-in-arms... you think I have half as much a clue as Waltz? No, but I post anyway, because by christ the point of this game isn't to play smart, it's to get a bunch of Escapians stewing together and see how long it takes for us to crash and burn.

Don't know which technologies to pick? Pick the two that sound coolest and flip a coin. Not sure which units we need? Choose ones who's names have the most amount of syllables. Just pick something! The more opinions the merrier.

Fine, fine. Um...In that case, I'd say get a bunch of Mohawk Warriors (five) to deal with Geneva and I don't even know what we have left over in terms of tech or buildings! So just make a whole lot of Mohawks and kill everything in sight! BURN! BURN!!!!

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

Nothing much to say again. Sorry.

....the point of this game isn't to play smart, it's to get a bunch of Escapians stewing together and see how long it takes for us to crash and burn........The more opinions the merrier.

I agree with this sentiment entirely. My over-thought quasi-coherent ramblings aside this game gets more fun the more people involved.

I'm only contributing my verbose bullshit due to the luxury of having played civ 5 before. I'll probably cut it out once things become some massively large that it takes more than 10 minuets of thought to contribute anything worth while. At that point I'll probably just throw out vague random things I'd like to see happen.

 

[Mr Thin]

self snip

I agree with this sentiment entirely. My over-thought quasi-coherent ramblings aside this game gets more fun the more people involved.

I'm only contributing my verbose bullshit due to the luxury of having played civ 5 before. snip snippy snip

I just realised that the tone of my comment may have implied that I resent your, Doc Gnosis' & Ragnorak's "playing smart". Such is not the case.

For one thing, I'm gonna be so awesome at the game when I get around to buying it. For another, I am interested to see how long you can continue "playing smart" when you have people who mostly just pick, choose & vote for the hell of it, like the rest of us.

I somewhat look forward to seeing your best-laid plans fall apart around you. It will amuse me.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

self snip

I agree with this sentiment entirely. My over-thought quasi-coherent ramblings aside this game gets more fun the more people involved.

I'm only contributing my verbose bullshit due to the luxury of having played civ 5 before. snip snippy snip

I just realised that the tone of my comment may have implied that I resent your, Doc Gnosis' & Ragnorak's "playing smart". Such is not the case.

For one thing, I'm gonna be so awesome at the game when I get around to buying it. For another, I am interested to see how long you can continue "playing smart" when you have people who mostly just pick, choose & vote for the hell of it, like the rest of us.

I somewhat look forward to seeing your best-laid plans fall apart around you. It will amuse me.

Oh dear, really?! My overarching goal was to play relatively smart while the game was still small and attempt to give us a solid foundation with a good lead against our competing civs. That way when things get too large and complex for me to really bother we can afford to do crazy things without getting completely wiped out.

 

[Doc Gnosis]

I had no idea we were playing smart... Oh well.

Between Construction, Astronomy, and Horseback Riding, I'd recommend construction for the reasons described by Bohemian Waltz and Mr. Thin; that and we could gain access to building coliseums and Circus Maximus if we're going to be hurting for happiness later on.

If we're planning on building more cities, I'd recommend training more scouts to explore the surrounding west for more prime real estate. Speaking of areas, did I spy city ruins in the western part of the map?

Speaking of building, I agree with building a Marker in Eumersiania and building a Mohawk Warrior in Knackopolis. However I'd recommend queueing military units in that city than expansion; we may be reaching the point where we're going to stepping on Incan or English toes if we found another city. I don't know about anyone else, but I cannot navigate a diplomatic minefield even if you gave me a map.

One final note: Who's at war or going to be at war with England?

 

[lacktheknack]

After a bit of research, I decided that Catapult in Thinville and Porcelain Tower in Knackopolis looks about right. So with that in mind, LET'S FILL UP KNACKOPOLIS TO THE GILLS!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065295574/849E45FD8CF026810994195F3D62D8FDAA617772/

No, seriously. I can't make the queue go any fuller.

Also, queuing new techs!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065307353/9C3088CCEC753A0B842ED908FB78EFB62BC22D3E/

Yay!

Ooh, Japan wishes to speak to us!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065305955/9A69030BD55E87239E0157F49053A8D47A5F5AF8/

Considering how we tried this earlier... SURE!

OK, Alexandra. Get a load of this!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065303680/D6ADA92C5207D1FB4EAB0880D023ADD000F1F8AE/

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065300595/1FDD75D5DEEE3F95805A3D4F741DBE13B1A9A812/

Wow. That was fast.

Scouts have located Old Faithful!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065314907/22AACEA8F503AF5CB61835C268978C64BCCDA27D/

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065293147/76EB15F7BB7152E38FFF5F3742BA992563F96834/

Top half isn't bad!

HAGIA SOFIA: Complete (finally!).

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065313550/392D877CBBD221DE49F88B0A72DEBFDBA640D684/

Thus begins the last step of the Era Slingshot: Great Peopleing our way to Astronomy.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065318340/E3BF5C6740DBD49D401B6738CA9A4405EE2FDA22/

While we could make it immediately with a Great Scientist, an extra turn lets us have a Wonder as well!

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065308634/7C46DD3E7FAA6C5D68C01B274CC7E996A42ADEFE/

I understand that you're in need, Japan, but we can't give you ALL our good stuff at the drop of a hat. Maybe next time?

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065299254/1AC833E1BE5C96491494687D8A4D5845717AD196/

Whatever, Alexandra.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065297647/09FA76482176E27477E917109AE6BC69CE5AEAA6/

Hmmm... maybe we should have shelled out for a research agreement after all...

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065294260/8D3814F19B5F123B3B8981DF473550EDED5180DA/

Boom.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065309967/DBCAEFA0B43D455AA5F429C71D1879BB0C162A37/

And we managed it by 300 AD. Take THAT, IRL continuity!

Gnosopolis founded. This may be a sticking point with the Brits.

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065311382/130E171A662976E5C726CE3AC552451456E700EB/

...Yeah, I can only see this going REALLY well. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

But hey, it's the only vote I remember getting.

So, for future:

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/542903423065301955/CC6C8CD48D4A4EEBE5E0C3335AECD2AF4DB3FFE0/

What policy should we go for next turn? (I can already hear Waltz going "RATIONALISM!!!!!11!1!11!!1")

What should we get going in Thinville post-Catapult?

What should we research next after Metal Casting?

EDIT: Oops! I didn't see you there Doc... I had already played out the turns before you posted. Japan is at war with England/Dublin.

 

[Mr Thin]

In Thinville, I say another Mohawk Warrior, then The Oracle, then Archer, then University, then Mohawk Warrior again, then Mint. I want that city armed to the teeth, but I also want there to be something worth protecting.

For Research, I say Engineering, because we're gonna need it sooner or later, it might as well be sooner.

I say adopt Rationalism; the final policy in that gives us 2 free technologies, that's just too awesome to pass up. Secularism specifically. More science!

 

[NerfedFalcon]

After Metal Casting, Horseback Riding. We don't want Steel too early, or we'll lose the bonuses on those Mohawks.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

Albeit Japans request for 55 gold and a source of horses was a bit irritating, but we really really should have agreed to that request for one of two reasons. The first being that RAs are one of the most broken mechanics in Civ 5 if you get the PT wonder and open up rationalism and is easily worth three times the price in gold plus a few luxuries. The second being that refusing requests when you've made a DoF conveys a negative modifier in diplomacy. We have another source of horses nearby we can settle if need be (since we're not using them anyways) and 55 gold is a drop in the bucket; even if it dumps our treasury we're making 28 G/trn so it's that big a concern.

Other than that little bit, I'm quite pleased with current events.

Spoiler: An Explanation on Tech Tree climbing by a Technocratic Whore-monger

First and foremost Research agreements. The basics of how they work is this after 30 turns each civ is given a science bonus calculated for each civ by half of the median cost of the technologies they can research for one turn, with any overflow being put into a random tech.

RA agreements are fundamentally a bit of an unfair deal for civs who aren't as technologically advanced as they pay the same cost, but receive a smaller benefit. Details aside building the PT wonder and opening up Rationalism makes RA science bonus 100% of a median tech cost rather than 50% making the broken mechanic even more unfair in our favor. To put it simply for every RA we sign we get 1 free tech that will be much more expensive science wise and our partner gets 1/2 of a cheaper tech.

RAs also become even more overpowered provided you have the gold to engage in multiple RAs at the same time. Say for example we engage in 3 each with a different civ that's lower in tech progression. At the end each individual civ will get 1/2 of a low cost Tech and will receive 3 high cost techs. Say you can achieve this modestly 4 times in 200 turns (1/3 the game); that's a 10 tech lead on every civ added to the likely 5-8 tech lead already likely held giving you a 15-20+ tech lead over everyone once you're in the industrial/modern era. This is how you achieve silly situations like having tanks vs. musket-men and gain access to Giant Death Robot [http://civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Giant_death_robot_%28Civ5%29] while others are still figuring out how radios work.

The only caveat is this sort of strategy requires an input of gold. The gold needed can be easily attained by building trading posts which are a very balanced easy to build improvement on forests The yield is 1F 2H 1G with a +1G on a river. Trading posts in addition to providing more gold also produce more science to the base yield which is multiplied by buildings/policies with the free thought policy. You can also jump up gold by building markets/banks/mints/stock exchanges & a national treasury and of course selling open borders to those who can't use them and excess resources/luxuries. Maintenance free trade routes through forests and coastal cities with a lighthouse for good food/gold focused cities don't hurt either.

The major things to remember when conducting RAs is this:

• 1. Don't sign multiple RAs on the same instead sign 1 per turn; otherwise the science overflow will be giant when they're all finish on same turn and you can't pick where the tech bonus goes.
  2. Don't or be cautious about entering a RA with Civs that are unfriendly or those you expect will declare war with you.
  3. Doing a lot of RAs is good, but keeping a modest/small reserve in gold is good especially if you have a weak military or undefended borders.
  4. Spread the RAs around multiple civs so that not just one civ profits from the RA boost.
  5. For some reason certain civs will prompt you for a RA a few turns before entering a war with you in order to drain your gold before hand as RAs become null when war is declared and the gold is wasted. Be cautious about this.

Spoiler: On current events

As far as borders, We're too far away for the Incans to care about that. The English will be peeved, but their AI is programmed to be not nearly as bold or warmongering as Alexander. We also probably have a stronger military than her and she's already engaged in a war plus our score is double hers which will make her afraid of us. Queuing up a Mohawk Warrior on the city that borders her is not a bad idea though.

If anyone's interested in how the AI conducts it's behavior they each have set values for bias on how they usually behave. Here's a Link to a thread on a site that breaks it down and shows a color coded nifty little spreadsheet/chart on each civs behavior. [http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=409062] (if anyone's actually interested in that sort of thing).

I'm not normally used to having the ability to get 3-8 wonders so easily in a civ game so while I really like the oracle I'm going to advocate against it. Simply on the logic that Civs randomly covet wonders and having most/all is a surefire way to make a ton of civs dislike you. There is probably more pertinent stuff we can build anyways, but if we can't find anything useful to do I'll back the oracle building.

There is a great expanse of unclaimed land to the west so my position is colored by desire to use Knackopolis as a settler factory and expand out to the 2nd river/desert/enemy borders. We can afford 3-6 more cities happiness wise and still be alright plus I'm sure there are some unclaimed resources and luxuries out west. There is also an extra source of gold north near Dublin that might be worth claiming as well.

Anyways after another TL;DR wall o'text here's my votes:
-Diplo/Trade: Throw up a research agreement with anyone not named Alexander/Elizabeth; Priority being (Japan > Inca > Rome). Sell off all extra luxuries we can't use when they become available take no less than 175 gold for each. Sell off all but 2 sources of horses and 3 sources of Iron take no less than 75 gold for each trade.
-Gnosopolis: Queue up a regular warrior, granary, worker, market, library. (The Warrior is faster to build and we only need it if Elizabeth invades so simply keeping 80 gold around to upgrade it is better than wasting the 18 extra turns.)
-Thinville: Queue up Mohawk Warrior, University.
-Workers: Build lumber mills in Waltzburg. (Coastal cities get a lot of food/gold, but little production). Improve the dyes/spices with the workers to the south. Then move them to Gnosopolis to and build a farm by the river. Workers near knackopolis build a farm on the wheat at the north west.
-Military: build up in Thinville until sufficient then march on Genevas borders leaving 1 mohawk garrisoned in Thinville to delay Alexander if he declares war at an inopportune moment for us.
-Tech: Metalcasting > Horseback-riding > Engineering > Chivalry > Banking.
-Social Policy: RATIONALISM!

 

[lacktheknack]

Here, I'll repeat that to everyone who missed it:

Civilization V has <link=http://civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Giant_death_robot_%28Civ5%29>Giant Death Robots.

 

[Bohemian Waltz]

Another amusing quirk is that Gandhi's AI is designed to be completely obsessed with attaining and using nukes, which I find frankly hilarious.

 

[lacktheknack]

Another amusing quirk is that Gandhi's AI is designed to be completely obsessed with attaining and using nukes, which I find frankly hilarious.

Well, India DID become a nuclear superpower... but it must have been a joke they forgot to fix.

I mean, twelve out of ten?

 

[lacktheknack]

Escapist ate mah post. D:

 

[Mr Thin]

Here, I'll repeat that to everyone who missed it:

Civilization V has <link=http://civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Giant_death_robot_%28Civ5%29>Giant Death Robots.

I meant to comment on that, but the thread stopped working for me.

I love the simplicity of the name. None of that 'mobile mechanised combat utility vehicle' nonsense a real military would use; there is absolutely nothing left to the imagination.