I guess this happens to everyone some times. Its tough, it can last for years, but you just have to get over with it.
The girl you like is going out with someone better
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A little, yeah. Either that's a loaded number that you're pulling out of your ass because you think shagging lots o' ladies makes you cool, or you started having sex very early in life, possibly because your family is really creepy.ELD3RGoD said:
I approve of the casual approach - it's a bad idea to look for 'true love' at such a young age - but that number suggests outright whoreishness, either from you, or the ladies you associate with.
Luckily, having gone to an all boys school for the entirety of my sexually active life I have never had this happen to me.
Although if it did, I would imagine I would cry about it and hope the guy falls off a roller coaster and breaks every bone in his body.
For the love of God, I'm not saying inner beauty is unimportant, so don't even go there.
Although if it did, I would imagine I would cry about it and hope the guy falls off a roller coaster and breaks every bone in his body.
You don't give a good body enough credit. Being physically attractive can often be the difference between the friend zone and a life long marriage.Athinira said:
For the love of God, I'm not saying inner beauty is unimportant, so don't even go there.
I think it's likely how you word your posts and sometimes through the opinions you express. I do believe I've quoted you a few times but I'll be honest your memory is better than mine in this instance.Caramel Frappe said:
Anyway, let me point out why I said as such.
Those you pointed out are pretty much baseline actions of a relationship, sure some guys don't hit those easy to achieve markers but that doesn't mean you qualify as "good enough".
If you're going off those alone then women would just settle for it. There is more to a person than that.
This is pretty legit although I do think that the harshness of your example is a little absurd. Point gets across however, you can still be friends, sometimes anyway. There are people who hold feelings too hard and refuse to let go of them
Friendship sometimes isn't an option because of the denied in this instance, friendship isn't good enough either and they too are settling. They want better.
I think this is what got me more than anything in your post; the part in bold obviously. That's not a woman being sour, that's her making her choice. She chose someone else because she feels that he is better for herself than somebody else.
It sucks to be the other guy of course but that's not to say that people are on an equal level. As I said prior, baselines.
You came across as if the woman has made some ultimate wrong by placing one guy as better than the other for her.
Like it or not people are rating one another on a day to day basis, who we like, who we don't like. Who we find beautiful, who we find breath taking.
To her the guy she chose is better, whatever the reason and you can't really say it's unfair on her for making that choice.
No matter what game you play, Call of Duty, game of life or love; you can always be bettered.
Better than me? Preposterous!
Nah, not really, but I do have self-esteem to think that I'm just as good as any other guy. Of course, people can have better chemistry than with other people, but that doesn't reflect on me. Although I used to think that girls were better off with other guys than me, way back when my self-esteem didn't exist.
Nah, not really, but I do have self-esteem to think that I'm just as good as any other guy. Of course, people can have better chemistry than with other people, but that doesn't reflect on me. Although I used to think that girls were better off with other guys than me, way back when my self-esteem didn't exist.
I would say thats the reason why you didn't get the girl in the end, to put it frankly. You thought someone else would be better for her. You lacked confidence, and confidence is one of the key elements in being attractive.
Don't mean to offend you in any way; take that as advice. Next time, don't think "Oh that other dude will be better for her" just go for it!
Don't mean to offend you in any way; take that as advice. Next time, don't think "Oh that other dude will be better for her" just go for it!
Ah yes the angsty teenage years. You are better off without me! I'll just sit here alone in the dark and wank my self to sleep :,(
Here is the deal, if you don't like yourself then others wont like you either, so start with the easy part.
And if you don't find you are compatible with someone, fuck it, plenty more where that came from, if only you can pry your claw hands off your penis for long enough to meet them.
Here is the deal, if you don't like yourself then others wont like you either, so start with the easy part.
And if you don't find you are compatible with someone, fuck it, plenty more where that came from, if only you can pry your claw hands off your penis for long enough to meet them.
There's more to life than sex. I'd rather experience a relationship, even if it has no long-term future. Casual sex is fine and all, but if you've done it once you've done it a hundred times, let's make some real memories.ELD3RGoD said:
But hey, if you're happy, keep it up. It's just that that number makes me raise an eyebrow for all kinds of reasons.
Because someone is so emotionally unstable and with such low confidence that they need to keep a number on their shallow meaningless encounters. If we're talking numbers i know i wouldn't be able to keep track of the meaningful times and encounters that are hundreds of times better than 'hey, random drunk slut? wanna fuck?'. But i guess '70' sounds impressive to a young, naive (and obviously with some pertinent psychological issues) 18 year old guy.Fugitive Panda said:
Still, the he'll will maybe grow out of it and the OP will grow out of their issues. Unfortunately a lot of people don't, but there's nothing you can do about it really, they have to do it for themselves.
Annoyingly, one of the best ways to seriously improve your self confidence is to be in a loving relationship
Which kind of sucks for those who are letting their confidence issues getting in the way of that.
Of course. You should have gone for it. Now that she's dating your friend (whom you've foolishly decided is "better than you," at least for her), you are obligated to keep your distance from both her and her panties until the end of eternity by section 213.69 of the friend provision of the social contract.
You should have gone for it.
Oh, well. Get over it and move on to the next one. Easier said than done, yes. Impossible, Hell, no. You are aware that there are more of them than us, yes? Get to it!
You should have gone for it.
Oh, well. Get over it and move on to the next one. Easier said than done, yes. Impossible, Hell, no. You are aware that there are more of them than us, yes? Get to it!
I wouldn't jump right to "He's messed up in the head." Takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, and everyone's allowed their time to experiment, especially when they're young.TheComfyChair said:
You can only hope they don't end up shooting themselves in the foot. A career pick-up artist saying "I'll settle down when I find the right gal" just makes me think of an alcoholic claiming that he can "quit whenever he wants".
Bah. I've never had a girlfriend. So, what did I do? I just worked on myself. I've done well with what I chose to pursue (that is, my academic studies, my french studies and my acting) and through doing well and being complimented for my work I have increased my opinion of myself. I now have a couple of girls who I think are mildly interested, despite the fact that I am not the most attractive male specimen on the planet. I'm witty, I'm intelligent and I help people if they ask for it. As you may have noticed, I also know my strengths.
All this, and I am also sometimes emotionally distant, as in I find it hard to express how I feel, except when I force myself to show it (such as when I act in plays) and that is why I feel like people would still be better off with other guys. I'm too shy to risk a display of affection in case people laugh at me or I balls it up or I get rejected.
Still, pain is only temporary. I can at least try. And so can you.
I used to feel the same as you do, but then I realised that I'm not worse, I'm only different. Good luck to you, sir.
All this, and I am also sometimes emotionally distant, as in I find it hard to express how I feel, except when I force myself to show it (such as when I act in plays) and that is why I feel like people would still be better off with other guys. I'm too shy to risk a display of affection in case people laugh at me or I balls it up or I get rejected.
Still, pain is only temporary. I can at least try. And so can you.
I used to feel the same as you do, but then I realised that I'm not worse, I'm only different. Good luck to you, sir.
Never experienced this in my life but if the girl I was attracted to was going out with someone better and she was happy about it then there is nothing else I can do. I shall take my buisness elsewhere, Good day madam!
Indeed, it's more for his sake in the future than anything. If what he says is true he'll soon be lying when meeting women by saying that he's only been with a few othersFugitive Panda said:
The people generally worth spending your life with are usually very nice people, and nice people don't generally sleep around.
Of course, most people don't have the empathy to be in a relationship (a real one), and indeed most relationships shouldn't be relationships at all with the constant arguing. So that leaves a lot of people with, sadly, little hope of finding that true happiness, so sleep around
I was lucky. If there is such a thing as a 'one', and i doubt there is such a thing (there is definitely not a 'one' for everyone), i've found mine, and i did so at a young age too, about 18. So that will skew my viewpoint slightly since I know already what being truly happy in a relationship is. I still feel stating numbers and acting all 'well, i'm the dumper brah' disrespectful in many ways, and as such was probably harsher than i should have been
There is nothing particularly wrong mentally with the guy, but he's actually not far flung from the OP, both have confidence issues (everyone does in modern society until they're old enough to not give a shit), both cope in different ways.
I do what I can.
Nothing's worked out yet for me, but I still manage by just moving on. There are plenty of girls out there I could be attracted to, lots of personalities. It's usually not worth the drama of trying to knock the other guy off to win your girl anyway. It's alright to have some enemies, but don't purposely go around making more - it might come to bite you in the back and screw with your chances if they know your subject of interest. Anyway, life's too short to mull over a single girl while others are being taken behind your back.
Due to my seven-year streak of failures stretching even beyond high school (all-boys school, GO!) I just work with opportunities. Try to talk to more people, hope that by networking I might chance upon another girl I'm interested in. Give her a go.
Here's the thing though: you can be genuinely charming, engaging, outgoing and a little humorously sly but if she isn't willing to take even a little time to know you properly then she isn't worth your time. That's not to say you can be a complete dick to a girl and expect her to overlook it.
Don't hesitate too much. Get to the point but keep conversations lively. If you're not all that physically attractive to her she'll label you a creep. (If you are then you might be called 'sweet' or 'shy'. Fucking double standards!)
As some previous posters have said, don't slip into thinking "Oh, he's better for her than I am."
You need to have confidence in yourself if you want her to have some confidence in you. Don't let it get to your head that you're the best person in the world for her though. That blinds you to errors and others' feelings.
All in all, it's still a game of chance no matter how you look at it. If you want to win, the best thing to do is to maximise your chances by meeting more people.
Nothing's worked out yet for me, but I still manage by just moving on. There are plenty of girls out there I could be attracted to, lots of personalities. It's usually not worth the drama of trying to knock the other guy off to win your girl anyway. It's alright to have some enemies, but don't purposely go around making more - it might come to bite you in the back and screw with your chances if they know your subject of interest. Anyway, life's too short to mull over a single girl while others are being taken behind your back.
Due to my seven-year streak of failures stretching even beyond high school (all-boys school, GO!) I just work with opportunities. Try to talk to more people, hope that by networking I might chance upon another girl I'm interested in. Give her a go.
Here's the thing though: you can be genuinely charming, engaging, outgoing and a little humorously sly but if she isn't willing to take even a little time to know you properly then she isn't worth your time. That's not to say you can be a complete dick to a girl and expect her to overlook it.
Don't hesitate too much. Get to the point but keep conversations lively. If you're not all that physically attractive to her she'll label you a creep. (If you are then you might be called 'sweet' or 'shy'. Fucking double standards!)
As some previous posters have said, don't slip into thinking "Oh, he's better for her than I am."
You need to have confidence in yourself if you want her to have some confidence in you. Don't let it get to your head that you're the best person in the world for her though. That blinds you to errors and others' feelings.
All in all, it's still a game of chance no matter how you look at it. If you want to win, the best thing to do is to maximise your chances by meeting more people.