The Guy above me is a troll because...

[Neonbob]

...for making that pun!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For paving the way to a futuristic puntopia!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For one-ting an old fashioned puntopia!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For polishing my spear!

 

[Neonbob]

...for waxing it with sand!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For missing an Elder Scroll's reference!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For not explaining it better!
[sup]Also: was that spear thing a innuendo?[/sup]

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For needing it explained beyond that point!

(Yes, it was. It was from a book from the Elder Scrolls series called "The Lusty Argonian Maid." These were the lines I hoping to recreate:

Count: Come here and polish my spear.
Maid: But it's so big! It would take me all night!)

EDIT: Okay, so I misquoted it [http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Oblivion:The_Lusty_Argonian_Maid]. So sue me.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For... Ah, that book... I never bothered to read it...

 

[Neonbob]

...for deciding to launch elves into space!

 

[Lazy Kitty]

For getting angry because you didn't think of it before me!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For wanting to save the whales!

 

[Scde2]

For not being on probation!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For being put on probation!

 

[Neonbob]

...for putting SAVE in the same sentence as them!

 

[Scde2]

For SHAVING the whales!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

For sending this card to a seal!

Spoiler: Card

I ♣ you!

 

[Neonbob]

...for being so easy to taunt!

 

[Heart of Darkness]

BECAUSE I <3< HIM!!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Because he goes on Youtube.