The idea that backing down is a sign of maturity

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2012 Wont Happen

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True maturity is not to always back down, but to know when you should back down, and when you should stand and fight.
 

Del-Toro

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You're also taught not to stir shit up. Surely this is a government conspiracy, one with the intent to force an Orwellian nightmare upon the world at large that will make use of the populace's self control and desire to not start an idiotic fight to keep rebellion in check. It all makes so much sense now.
 

PedroSteckecilo

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Feb 7, 2008
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I know we're all a bunch of Ayn Rand worshipping wankers who think that might is right and that Strength based Anarchy would be the best way to run the world yadda yadda yadda yadda

You sound like a bunch of 14 year olds who are displeased you can't get your way all the time and beat up people who make you angry without feeling guilt.
 

WhiteFangofWhoa

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We're no doormats. There's a big difference between fighting personally to avenge a slight and civil disobedience. Most people are smart enough not to attack someone when provoked (of course the provoker will often try to push them over the limit because they're assholes), but can you find a single person who would claim the government is always right?

In the event the government does do something truly insane we won't back down out of some deep-seated urge to always back down, but because fighting SWAT teams and cops physically would be pointless and painful. Of course in some third-world countries armed resistance seems to be the only option, but they aren't given nearly as much education in this department.

On a less extreme level, if an extremely dumb law or rule is made most people will not follow it, and many cops will not bother enforcing it unless under strict supervision because they're civillians too. The main example of this I'm thinking of is the bicycle helmets law in my Province. I've never seen anyone get arrested over it, and because people don't believe helmets keep us safe they refuse to wear them. I do, but then I'm one of the scant handful who've actually had their lives, or at least a good number of brain cells saved by a helmet while cycling.

It goes even smaller-scale too- the upper administration of my job decreed about half a year ago that we are no longer allowed to have drinks while on-duty. Of our five managers, two obeyed and enforced this while not being watched.
 

Zildjin81

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Well playground fights don't really affect anything, so yes it works there. But on a bigger scale, such as war, not so much.
 

geldonyetich

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Getting pissed off and acting out of anger is easy. Overcoming your emotions long enough to see something through logically is harder but more rational. It does not seem that hard to grok.

You're only a doormat if you've backed off long enough to cool down and have the rationality to know for certain an injustice is being done, know what needs to be done for the long-term benefit of all, but be too afraid to do anything about it.

Flying off the handle is entirely different - you cause more harm than good by not thinking things through.
 

JWAN

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Dec 27, 2008
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"counter intuitive" things have never struck me as being "More Mature".

Really, if someone wants to start a fight I'll take it to them.

Remember kids,
"Its not if you win or lose its how long the other guy will be in traction"
 

JWAN

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TheGreatCoolEnergy said:
Wayte said:
From an early age it was drilled into my head that walking away form a fight made me the bigger man. That laying low instead of standing up for myself would serve best. But my whole life I've always had an issue with this, it always seemed to make no sense. Why shouldn't somebody defend himself? Wouldn't the mature person be brave enough to fight back?

I was thinking about this today and an idea hit me: it seems that this lesson is drilled into our heads to make things easier for the authority. Parents teach it to prevent fights between siblings(or keep the favorite from being stood up to.) Teachers teach it to try and cut down on fights. And of course all authority everywhere benefits from a more docile populace.

And that's where it gets a bit screwy for me. Is walking away really a sign of maturity? Or is it just something we're taught to make it easier for the higher ups? I'm by no means a "might makes right" type of guy, but I've always been irked that we're encouraged not to fight back.
Interesting point, I have a few things to say.

First of all, perhaps the idea is ot that "Pussying out is the better thing to do" but rather "Pick your battles". You wouldn't hunt chipmunks with an RPG, so why would you fight over something that isn't worth it?

Second, generaly speaking, the less educated someone is, the more likely to fight they are. Look at the countries with little to none education. There is a good chance there is a war in that country currently. The kind of guy who fights is always portrayed as a big dumb jock, not a nerd. There is a reason behind this stereotype.

Third, I'm certain this idea is taught early because humans are weak. There are alot of things that can easyily cripple or kill us, and fighting each other is just one more way to make someone useless to society.

Forth, yes it probably is used to keep us in line. I'll agree there
I got a quick question, what is the "IT" people refer to whenever they say "Its not worth it"
 

justhereforthemoney

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Aug 31, 2009
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FanofDeath said:
Stanislav - The Aimless One said:
FanofDeath said:
Maturity is knowing WHEN to back down, not to always do it.
Nicely put.

Also, standing up for yourself isn't (allways) the same as getting into a fight.

I'm proud when I manage to avoid some fist-swinging idiot, and I tend to pitty anyone has to resort to violence to get their way, or even to get their point across.
It is a silly way to argue.

One cannot get their point across with a fist, anyway. It seems to be a marked inability to effectively communicate.
Fighting is also not being able to effectively use language, resorting to lower means to win an argument when a person talked circles around them.

I had a friend, once, who said that violence was the breakdown of reason.
 

DarkRyter

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Dec 15, 2008
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Just grapple up to a gargoyle and move rapidly between them.

Everything just turns out alright.
 

bigolbear

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May 18, 2009
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never throw the first punch
always throw the last
Sometimes it pays to be clever
but it always pays to be fast.

- i made that up on the spot ;-)
 

Megacherv

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You walk away, but leave on a high note. I'm waiting for the chance to say "The next time you want to talk to me, grow up first" and then not talking to them.
 

Summerstorm

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Sep 19, 2008
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Backing down... or ignoring someone is ONLY a sign of a great man if you could kill... umm defeat the foe with certainty. Also it helps if other know that. (Or you may seem like a coward)

But if someone challenges you, you have the right to dish out some asskicking. (Well in MANS laws anyway *g*) Losing on the other hand... its bad.
 

TheGreatCoolEnergy

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JWAN said:
I got a quick question, what is the "IT" people refer to whenever they say "Its not worth it"
Good question. I have always interpreted "it" as "that douche who keeps challenging you" so "it's not worth it" means "Dont waste your time on that douche bag"
 

yzzlthtz

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May 1, 2008
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Wayte said:
From an early age it was drilled into my head that walking away form a fight made me the bigger man. That laying low instead of standing up for myself would serve best. But my whole life I've always had an issue with this, it always seemed to make no sense. Why shouldn't somebody defend himself? Wouldn't the mature person be brave enough to fight back?

I was thinking about this today and an idea hit me: it seems that this lesson is drilled into our heads to make things easier for the authority. Parents teach it to prevent fights between siblings(or keep the favorite from being stood up to.) Teachers teach it to try and cut down on fights. And of course all authority everywhere benefits from a more docile populace.

And that's where it gets a bit screwy for me. Is walking away really a sign of maturity? Or is it just something we're taught to make it easier for the higher ups? I'm by no means a "might makes right" type of guy, but I've always been irked that we're encouraged not to fight back.
In martial arts, instructors always tell you to run from a fight if you can, for 2 reasons :
1, you could kill someone with what you learn in martial arts classes.
2, you never know if they have some kind of concealed weapon.

Standing up for yourself >nonviolently< is one thing, especial given certain contexts. Defending yourself and your family is your right. But committing yourself to violence, over ego, or when there are other options, is a bad idea in so many ways.
 

Baldry

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Feb 11, 2009
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I think its like if you do something big, summet bad usually happens, and thus leading to defeat and history is written by the victor soo all thou you may of done the right thing it will seam immature to the opposite side