The Kingdom of Escapistia (Any relation to persons alive or dead is coincedental, shush)

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Hasido

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Jun 20, 2011
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Muspelheim said:
-snip-
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/192/802/1230024061774.png

We post standing.
i have to admit, i stared at that picture for longer than i think may be a sane amount of time, and continue to stare as i write this.

CAPTCHA: know your rights.

Just out of curiosity, what are our rights as citizens of Escapistia, anyway?
 

Muspelheim

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Apr 7, 2011
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Hasido said:
i have to admit, i stared at that picture for longer than i think may be a sane amount of time, and continue to stare as i write this.

CAPTCHA: know your rights.

Just out of curiosity, what are our rights as citizens of Escapistia, anyway?
Work for the Empress, fight for the Empress and die for the Empress, mainly.

We do have a rather generous dental plan, provided we live long enough to benefit from it, and we've got free admission to Jimothy Sterling's lectures. Plus, discount and happy hour at Yahwee's tavern!
 

Hasido

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Jun 20, 2011
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Muspelheim said:
Hasido said:
i have to admit, i stared at that picture for longer than i think may be a sane amount of time, and continue to stare as i write this.

CAPTCHA: know your rights.

Just out of curiosity, what are our rights as citizens of Escapistia, anyway?
Work for the Empress, fight for the Empress and die for the Empress, mainly.

We do have a rather generous dental plan, provided we live long enough to benefit from it, and we've got free admission to Jimothy Sterling's lectures. Plus, discount and happy hour at Yahwee's tavern!
sounds like a good deal to me!
 

PsychicTaco115

I've Been Having These Weird Dreams Lately...
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Mar 17, 2012
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That's it, EVERYONE'S GETTING DRAWN

Here's Daystar's:


And now here's one for Miracle of Sound!

 

GistoftheFist

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Jan 6, 2012
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I am Sir Galabadass. Could someone give us a Redwall-esque description of the food dishes we'll be eating in Escapistia?
 

The_Lost_King

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Oct 7, 2011
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Daystar Clarion said:
Andy Shandy said:
Susan Arendt said:
*gets popcorn, settles down*

Do please continue. This is endlessly entertaining. :D
Our queen! Quick, somebody get the jester. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/Daystar+Clarion] I'll try to entertain with a cat gif until he arrives!

[HEADING=1]God damn it![/HEADING]


Why am I the jester?

I don't even have a stupid hat!
Because sir thoust art the bane of threads. The one who takest them into he land of off-topica. The bane of serious threads with your jokes and utter sillines.
 

DJ_DEnM

My brother answers too!
Dec 22, 2010
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SpectacularWebHead said:
I recently had an idea for a fantasy game, named Ye Escapistia. I'd like to run by the concept and some characters to see peoples opinions on it.

The province of escapistia, within the land of Ye intranete. Escapistia is a land divided into 10 Holds, including Offtopicia and Userirevew. It is largely a peacful place, not often warring with the kingdom of forechan and the leser realm of neingag.

It is ruled by Queen Arendite, whom is merciful and benevolent (Mostly)
The regailed and respected Gray Nade-Carter, writer of the ever popular weekly scroll
"Critical Missive"
The admir'd and feared Benjamin "Yahwee" Crozhorr, whom is ever popular and trusted in his tales of adventurers who talk a lot of shit
The feared and loved Jimothy Sterling, Whom is always quick with his opinion and direction towards those that would seek to harm the peoples interests
The Reknowned, Respected and Adored bard Gavus Dunne, Whom won the hearts of the people with his line "you may fight like a dragon, Run like a leopard but you'll never be superior to the captain Shepard"
And of course, the ever lovable court jester, Clarion of the day star, ever present amongst the people, bringing hilarity in his wake.

Escapistia is policed by the feared and powerful Moderators(e) whom banish those that doth harass the general populus. In Escapia, you have become a new resident or user, and your goal is to ascend to the role of the mighty Publisher.

Currently my thoughts well has run dry, but, people of escapia Escapist users, feel free to tell me anything you believe would add to the story.
I think you forgot MovieBob.
 

Alternative

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Jun 2, 2010
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Hasido said:
Gearabelle said:
Hasido said:
Gearabelle said:
I guess I'm stuck being an NPC... Bound to just wander along my little track. Always observing, rarely speaking... Rarely being part of everything as a whole. Doomed to never have my tale told among the greats of the Escapist. Thus is the life of a generally quiet observer...

Eh... I suppose there are worse fates to have.

(Like the Jester! ... Kidding.)
You know what? us title-less lurkers should form a secret society! one wherein nothing is done, no one talks, and it is only occasionally referenced as some sort of shady organization that has a hand in everything!
The Legion of the Lurkers! =D

Ever do we lurk in the shadows... Lurking and... Lurking some more. xD

Edit: Or 'The watchers'. That could sound good too.
The Legion of Watchers? The Lurking Watchers? The Watching Lurkers? The League Of Those Who Do No More Than Lurk In The Shadows And Watch The Common Goings On?
We can be Escapistia's Legion of Madfellows
titlesless peasants who form a secret society in which they guard the ultimate secret.
 

Gabanuka

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Oct 1, 2009
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I, your humble Enchanter, am happy to announce the formation of:

The Escapist Guild of Guildsmen

Have you been in this land long enough to consider it home yet are not the stuff of legend?

Well then; become a craftsman!

We have places for all! Blacksmiths, Cobblers, Dragon Tamers anyone and everyone
([small]provided you've told at least 1500 tales[/small])

Join today!

 

INF1NIT3 D00M

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Aug 14, 2008
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wintercoat said:
*snipped all the extra quotes*

They have been given new lands on which to flourish. Where they may run free, unoppressed. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.380059-dont-read] And it is beautiful.
I don't know what I just clicked on, but I think I just saw forever. Everything is beiber now. I need to go lie down.
 

Clinky

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Jan 5, 2012
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Oh, what about a cult of doomsday prophets predicting the end of just about anything from the end of the world all the way to end of a series?
 

Hazy992

Why does this place still exist
Aug 1, 2010
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TopazFusion said:
What? ... 7 pages, and no mention of the great fuser of topaz?

*cough*5-digit post count*cough*
Forum Games don't count! :p I joke, I joke! I kid, I kid!

Anyway, as someone pointed out I helped defeat the evil Karutomearius and seeing as how you did just as much as me we should totally become badass knights! :D
 

Hjalmar Fryklund

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May 22, 2008
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I shall be a lowly farm boy, contenting myself to tend to the fields. However, should some unsightly brigands ambush me, they will taste the rusty but sharp metal of my cleaver and receive nothing else beyond that and my mockery.
 

shadyh8er

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Apr 28, 2010
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imnotparanoid said:
TLS14 said:
imnotparanoid said:
TLS14 said:
imnotparanoid said:
Will there be a murky swamp of sexism threads?
I thought that was the fiery mountain. Or am I thinking of the pony threads, or perhaps the Mass Effect threads?
No mass effect threads live in the great forest of butthurt.
Ahh. I shall gather a mob and commence the razing of the forest, then. Who's with me!?
You have my bow.

magic Fire bow that is, can't raze a forest with a normal bow can you know!
And my chainsaw axe!



The trickster Captchia has ordered me to repeat "find your happy" in order to post this.
 

shadyh8er

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Apr 28, 2010
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Daystar Clarion said:
trollnystan said:
Gabanuka said:
I'm very tempted to draw a map of this kingdom. Sadly it is 11:40pm.

I wish I had more of an impact on the site to be worthy of a title, I'll guess I'll become the resident enchanter

You and me both, you and me both. (referring to bolded part)

... *grabs some snacks and sits back to enjoy the show*
You are The Creator of Clouds.

The First Brovenger will be eternally grateful :D
What can I be?
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

Bringer of Words
Jul 30, 2008
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Do not use if printed seal is broken or missing.
                                                                            -Escape


"Speak the words as I have spoke them to you." Nuke began, mud entrenching his leather boots into the dank forest. "Though these be brigands and knaves alike, there be no reason to treat them as any but peers."

"Nonsense," the knight beside him asserted. "If these be the reputed rogues we've heard tale of, our only recourse must accompany flames and pillaging, as is our way."

"If ye be brigands yourselves, 'tis a reasonable assertion." Nuke replied evenly. "Be that as it may, the land may end worse for the wear. Waste not such efforts on cutting, the mods back us for a reason."

"Easy speech for a holding lord," spat a man from the middle of the ranks. "Unlike you pansies, knights errant have no work in peacetime."

"Short-sighted," Nuke replied. "In all times, there is work. The question being not whether 'tis present, but rather be the people willing. Steady hands with swords often make steady craftsmen. Not the easiest trade to learn, but one worth the investment."

The man snorted. "Permission to cut the pansy from his idiocy, Captain?"

Kargathia sighed, "Stay your tongue, Roberts. There's enough trouble come the moonrise. Needn't borrow any more."

"As the captain wishes."

"As he does, indeed." Karg said, turning. "Nuke, preparations shall be done soon. Any news from the auxiliary?"

"None by messenger. 'Tis straightforward work. Contain the perimeter until mods arrive, stay your blades unless necessary."

"Aye, sir." The captain stood from his crouch, addressing the ranks. "Gents! To arms!"

The men snapped to attention, rising as a squadron, and began to file out of the treeline on silent feet. Daylight had waned enough to make the dark armor only scarcely visible in the scarcely visible starlight. Ambient light from the camp cast dancing shadows on the hauberks and drawn blades. Nuke, though a lord, had little experience in the field, and feared for every highlight and shadow the armor gave away.

It wasn't until the squadron, and Karg, had completely cleared the forest and started establishing the perimeter that the counter-attack began. A deep, distant voice bellowed "Loose!" in the distance, and the thrum of synchronized bows washed out from the horizon.

The senior officers of the squad burst into action. "Shields up, lads!" The thundering of boots crashed into the Earth as the forty-odd man battalion huddled under shields. Less than seconds later, fire-hot arrows began hammering into the ground. The sound was thunderous in the stillness of the evening. "Flames!" Karg called out from within the roar of arrows. "Defensive positions! We hold the perimeter!"

Men began openly sprinting to positions, bowmen and fencers drawing arms and beginning combat in earnest. Though the bandit camp had gotten the surprise attack, once the men were in position, the combat became violently one-sided. Swords were met by two or three shields at a time, and the men had co-ordination and experience. The bandits, though some quite skilled, simply didn't have the numbers to make up for the hailstorm of reports coming down the line. The battle was going to be short-lived, either way.

Nuke had arrived at the final defensive position, thick war hammer in his primary hand. A few stragglers were attempting to spill out, but he pushed them back with the gnarled handle. Karg held the position beside Nuke's, horse heading off anyone attempting to charge past Nuke and the aged war hammer.

From behind, the sound of otherworldly voices rose into the evening. Karg sidestepped, clearing the road. Beside him, Nuke did the same. Nuke reporting to the leading mod, "Perimeter is secure, it's yours from here."

The well-armored woman nodded, grappling her weapon comfortably. She wore a wicked, battle-ready grin. "Well enough. Mods, to arms!" The assorted men and women behind her kicked their horses into gallops, steeds powering into the bandit camp. From inside, a metallic voice screamed "Swing the hammer!" Brief cracks of thunder and lightning crackled from inside the camp. Streams of scarlet and white seemed to explode from inside the tents around the camp, with the occasional body of a bandit landing bodily, and bonelessly, at the edges of camp.

The mods made short work of everything, all told, leaving nothing but shadows of the bandits within the camp. Miraculously, the rest of the camp rested as it stood, otherwise undamaged. The woman addressed the remainders of the camp. "As always, thank you for your cooperation. And remember, don't engage the bandits. Reports do more than swords." She paused briefly to turn to Nuke. "Thanks for the reports, Nuke."

"Not a problem," Nuke replied, nodding to the mod. "Give the others my regards."

"Certainly," she replied, still grinning. "Mods, there's more work to be had."

"Always," said one of the younger mods, her blond hair drifting in the wind as she rode. "Work, work, work."

The evening settled into dawn, with the sun rising over the valley. "Job done well enough," Karg said into the morning light. "Time to head back to the estate Nuke?"

"Of course." Nuke replied, setting course for his land.

"Think some got through?"

"Some always do," Nuke said honestly, sliding his hammer into place on his back. "We'll get them next time."
 

Hazy992

Why does this place still exist
Aug 1, 2010
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TopazFusion said:
Hazy992 said:
Anyway, as someone pointed out I helped defeat the evil Karutomearius and seeing as how you did just as much as me we should totally become badass knights! :D
Agreed.

So with the defeat of the evil Karutomearius, who's our next nemesis?
I'm not sure yet but we should remain ever vigilant!