The lies you were told as a child.

[Zand88]

If you work hard enough, you can be anything you want to be.

 

[ViolentlyHappy91]

God
Santa
Hell
'We love you'
'There's nothing under your bed'
'Of course you were planned'

I could go on and on.

 

[Carlston]

What lies did your parents used to tell you when you were younger, to stop you doing things or just to tease you?

Such as, "Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in."
Or, "Don't watch too much TV, because you'll get square eyes." etc.

I once sprayed deoderant on my face when I was little (don't ask me why, I was a strange child) and my uncle told me, "If you do that, you'll grow a beard."

It stopped me from doing it again though!

So how about you?

White Panel vans will kidnap you.
Pop rocks and soda blow up your stomach.
The Atari man (molster invites kids into a house to rape them)
The fact Adam Walsh's real reasoning of kidnapping was his crappy parents who left him at a sears atari demo)
The Halloween candy/poison/razor blade scare to force all kids to trick or treat in malls.
That god cares about if you eat red meat on Friday and will send you to hell like a murdering pedophile...

And the best "When you have kids, you'll know what to tell them from the leason I taught you."

 

[hippykiller]

That there was this all powerful benevolent being called god. That was a pretty big one.

hey please don't make this about religion. this is suppose to be fun.

 

[Nargleblarg]

Santa and Christianity


messed me up for years.

 

[hippykiller]

1)the tooth fairy

2)Santa Clause

3)If I eat too many bananas i will turn into a banana (that one scared the shit our of me)

you know that regular stuff.

 

[hippykiller]

If you are good all year, then a fat bastard will come down the chimney and leave some crap under a giant tree. Not only does this christmas tradition have major pagan undertones, but it is also incredibly creepy to think that this guy spends his time watching little kids sleep... He knows when you are sleeping... indeed...

well yes it dose sound creepy but you must remember that it is all in good fun.

 

[Harbinger_]

That there is good in people and that humanity is intelligent.

 

[UsefulPlayer 1]

That it tastes good.

It most certainly doesn't.

 

[ChainsawEnima]

God exists.

 

[mokes310]

I was a little hellraiser when at the dinner table at a young age, so to get me to eat certain foods, my parents would use substitute the actual name of the food with a different, similar woodland creature. One Christmas, we were havin cornish game hens, and to get me to eat them, my parents said that they were Blue Jays.

 

[Flap Jack452]

I was told if I masturbated then hair would grow on the palms of my hands.

 

[teisjm]

Just follow me little boy... i have candy

 

[The Iron Ninja]

That there was this all powerful benevolent being called god. That was a pretty big one.

hey please don't make this about religion. this is suppose to be fun.

Please read the date of posts before you quote them.
This thread gets necro'd about once a month, and I'm sick of people quoting me because they can't be arsed reading past the third post.
If you had read a bit further, you might have noticed two things.
One, that my post was by no means the only one saying something about religion (In fact, haf the posts of the last 12 pages have been saying something along the lines of"Religion, Nuff said")
Two, this little exchange.

Call me naive, but I believe in God.

You're (sorry, It just bothered me) naive.

Hey come on now, that was a bit uncalled for (oh wait.. I guess it was called for...)

Even though I was the first to say it here, Religion isn't a lie if your parents actuallly beleived it. My parents are agnostic (and leaning towards the athiest side of things) but they told me god existed to please my grandparents, at least until I was old enough to think 'well that doesn't make any sense at all' and give up on the whole faith thing myself.

I hate all the christian holidays that have been turned into some kind of gift festival. It makes no sense at all, plus I end up hearing more about it from ads and such months before they even happen. Christians are free to beleive whatever they want, but it's hard for me to ignore it with rabbits shoving chocolate at me.

Also:

I don't give a damn what you beleive in

Fucking Bigots

Pfft.

If I had a point, it would be these two.

1. Check the date of posts you quote. I'm getting sick of what I said last September being brought into question over and over again just because I was one of the first people to post here back in September.

2. Read on a bit before deciding what a thread is supposed to be about. This thread was about religion from page one. Admittedly I started that, but nevertheless.

And now that I'm here, I shall offer up something relevant to the thread that is not from last year.

I can't remember who said it, and I wasn't really (that much of) a child at the time, but

The escapist, last bastion of intelligence on the internet

Lies.

 

[Corneliusthederelict]

I recall being told not to chew my nails due to maggot eggs growing underneath and the unhealthy side affects of ingesting them.

Wow my parents are kind of disturbing.

 

[night_chrono]

That all the pills were good for me.

Hooray for not remember massive chunks of my life due to being a 6 year old taking more pills then rush limbaugh!

 

[rockingnic]

"The Earth is round and rovolves around the Sun."
Not it isn't and no it doesn't... It's polygonal and revolves me! jk lol
If you whack off, you go blind... I don't wear glasses, I can tell you that much

 

[SharPhoe]

I recall being told not to chew my nails due to maggot eggs growing underneath and the unhealthy side affects of ingesting them.

Wow my parents are kind of disturbing.

Ew. Seriously? That's just... Eeeeeewww... If my parents told me that, I'dve stopped biting my nails in a heartbeat.

As for me, I was told all of the usual things as a kid (Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, etc.), but I wasn't too bothered when I found out they weren't real. My dad even made a joke when I asked him what happened to the Tooth Fairy: He told me she died in a motorcycle accident.