my parents never lied to me much. they did the whole santa thing but turned around and told the truth when i was like 10. no idea why they did since everyone had figured it out for themselves years earlier.
The lies you were told as a child.
- Thread starter EeveeElectro
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Just Ignore the sheep bread golem, soon, once he realises his bleating is being ignored, he will leave for greener pastures.bread golem post=18.70277.687269 said:
The Iron Ninja post=18.70277.687273 said:
Oh I know that. I ignore the sheep, Except the ones I eat...
Wow, you people disappoint me... I saw this and thought to myself. "Oh it's a thread about Santa and whatnot." Nope,it's Troll-tastic Religin-bashing. I thought most of The Escapist was still pretty tolerant, But I see things have changed.
On-topic: I never found the little man that switches on and off the light in the 'Fridge.
On-topic: I never found the little man that switches on and off the light in the 'Fridge.
Oh boy, oh boy, have I got a lot.
Sitting too close to the TV will make your eyes explode.
If you swim on a full stomach, it will explode.
If you masturbate you will catch an STD.
If you obsessively masturbate your penis will be forever erect. (Disproven many, many times.)
You must suffer now, so you can be happy later. That's how life works. (Regarding school)
Self-respect means cutting your hair and doing whatever society tells you. (Still enforced)
Marijuana will make you go crazy and kill people.
If you insult George W. Bush, you will be jailed by the government.
Regarding the man on the moon: One day a young farmer spotted a fairy/angel on the moon and fell in love. So in order to get to the moon, he pissed on some plants that grew like Jack's beanstalk, left his wife behind, and something else, but I'm sure the bloke died from lack of oxygen.
And the best one,
When I was three, I wanted to camp outside but my mother wouldn't allow it. This was her reason:
There is a long-breasted (No, not big-breasted) succubus that will take you away and force-feed you her breast milk. Your uncle has met her on many occasions which is why he is now a good-for-nothing plumber. I believe this was her way of warning me about the dangers of drugs, but to this day I'm still mystified from the image of a shadowy woman with tentacle-like breasts.
Sitting too close to the TV will make your eyes explode.
If you swim on a full stomach, it will explode.
If you masturbate you will catch an STD.
If you obsessively masturbate your penis will be forever erect. (Disproven many, many times.)
You must suffer now, so you can be happy later. That's how life works. (Regarding school)
Self-respect means cutting your hair and doing whatever society tells you. (Still enforced)
Marijuana will make you go crazy and kill people.
If you insult George W. Bush, you will be jailed by the government.
Regarding the man on the moon: One day a young farmer spotted a fairy/angel on the moon and fell in love. So in order to get to the moon, he pissed on some plants that grew like Jack's beanstalk, left his wife behind, and something else, but I'm sure the bloke died from lack of oxygen.
And the best one,
When I was three, I wanted to camp outside but my mother wouldn't allow it. This was her reason:
There is a long-breasted (No, not big-breasted) succubus that will take you away and force-feed you her breast milk. Your uncle has met her on many occasions which is why he is now a good-for-nothing plumber. I believe this was her way of warning me about the dangers of drugs, but to this day I'm still mystified from the image of a shadowy woman with tentacle-like breasts.
Ok, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the last one. It is a historically proven fact that Jesus did exist and was crucified. Whether or not he was Christ the Messiah remains to be proven, but he did exist. And truth be told, I do believe God exist.Khell_Sennet post=18.70277.686568 said:
As for lies I was told: I honestly can't recall any. Oh, wait, Santa, but I figured that out soon enough.
wowbread golem post=18.70277.687247 said:
cliche example of y ur rong, "Can u see the wind?"
also i believe in God but im not reele crazy about the Bible
EDIT- Santa Claus did exist bak in Roman times...a guy named St. Nicholas who wood run across roofs nd drop little toys down to children
I can see the wind, with a molecular microscope, and I fixed all your spelling mistakes..JD4566 post=18.70277.687376 said:
I stopped believeing in the tooh fairy when i found a jar of teeth in my dads dresser.I then proceeded to throw the jar out the window.
As much as I want to agree with you, I just loved the delicious irony.bread golem post=18.70277.687400 said:
I noticed that the instant I pressed post, I was displeased with myself... so I fixed it...The Iron Ninja post=18.70277.687410 said:
Here's one me dear ole' Grandma told me and my cousins. "If you can kiss your elbow, then you become an Elf"
lol, I spent hours trying to get so far as to just lick it.
lol, I spent hours trying to get so far as to just lick it.