The Misadventures of the Escapist

[LostTimeLady]

A 'it seemed like a good idea at the time' story hummm...

I decided, for reasons that don't need to be mentioned, one time to go for a drive around by where I lived and I ended up on a road that goes over the Pennine mountains (that's them there hills in the middle of England for those not clued up on UK geography). This road is a pretty hairy one as there's 30m cliffs on one side, and near vertical fellside on the other.
This, however, wasn't the bad bit. After pulling into a train station car park in the next town I had a look at a map and decided on a way to get back onto another main road. I knew which road I was aiming for and where it went.
However! As I travelled down this road, it quickly became single track, then it became a gated track on common land with a wall one side and steep banks on the other! I could only drive forward and couldn't turn around!

So I ended up driving down the rather hairy road, goodness knows how there wasn't another car coming along the whole thing and I finally made it onto a main road.

My miss-adventures were not over yet though when, as I was going over a bridge, I clipped the kirb on the otherside and nearly lost it, had I been going any faster than I was it could have been really nasty.

So the moral of my tale folks is this, always read a map properly to see what a road is going through and don't go for spur of the moment drives around difficult roads when you're a relatively new driver on your lonesome!

 

[Eisenfaust]

when i was about... 6, i got lost in a department store while "exploring"... more specifically the upper ofice levels of a department store... i got inside the elevator and pressed the top floor button, went up... got out, elevator left

pressed the call button, a different elevator came (ie: different shaft) and that one needed a key to access to lower store levels... kept getting out at random floors, trying to get the other elevator, turns out that elevator couldn't be called to the top floors, it could only be sent there... and i was 6, so i was too scared to ask anyone in a place i clearly wasn't meant to be (and... strangers...)

half an hour later, an office worker finally gets in the elevator at the same time as me and put his key in and we go to the bottom floor, only to find out that the elevator shaft for the offices opens into a completely difference area, so i had to walk outside and circle an entire busy city block (in Sydney CBD) to get around to the other side of the store...

only to have my father go "so, find anything you like?"

gee, thanks for noticing i disappeared for about an hour

 

[Mr Pantomime]

When I was Five i stuck my finger in an angle grinder. That was stupid.

 

[lettucethesallad]

Fairly boring stories here. Allow me to demonstrate a better one:

Acouple years ago when I was in a seaside town, I went out partying with some of my friends, needless to say, us being a bunch of manchildren with little caution, we brazenly tried a cocktail called 'THE TERMINATOR', which was served in what I could only assume was a bucket, but I'd had quite afew before that and was more than happy to drink more.

I later learned that the TERMINATOR had approximately 250ml Vodka, 250ml Bacardi rum and 250ml of 'Clear spirit' (The nastiest alcohol known to cheap drunks everywhere down that way). Plus an assortment of fruit juices to deaden the taste.

Collectively, our memories faded to black.

When I woke, the day after, I was still 75% drunk, 25% hungover, when my brain finally engaged, I found myself on the floor of the kitchen in our shared flat, surrounded by:

A traffic cone.
Six pint glasses filled with golden fluid of undetermined origin.
A mercedes symbol, ripped from a car, plus parking ticket.
One bottle of 'Balkan Vodka', empty, with 5 warning labels, (EXTREMELY FLAMABLE and NEVER DRINK STRAIGHT caught my eye, along with the shotglasses).
And what appeared to be an electric handrier, the name of of a local pub was written on it, along with six or seven bathroom tiles still attached.

When the rest of the guys woke up, we laughed, tried to recall what had happened, then disposed of the evidence. Lord help my liver.

You're my new hero.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

+

=

Ow.

 

[A Raging Emo]

as a small child i got the brilliant idea to make a parachute out of a big trash bag and jump off the top of the swingset. it didn't work.

Oh my God! I had that idea!

 

[mercr452]

I was playing tag with a cop and robbers theme when I was in elementary school. Anyways, we were playing in a hilly wooded area and I was being chased by a "Cop" down a hill. Little did I see (it was twilight) the clothesline hanging between trees. So I ran full speed into the clothesline and it happened to be perfect neck height. I was classically movie-like clotheslined.

However, not the end, there was also a rusted mobile gas tank, which I hit my head on and got knocked out. Came to and was bleeding all over the place from a deep gash on the back of my head. About a day or two later I developed a severe case of rope-burn from my collarbone to my chin.

Another time in elementary school and I was on a ski trip. I hit a patch of ice and did the yard sale all over the slope. However, I wouldn't stop sliding down the mountain after I fell. My bad luck that the ski trail was NOT straight. The trail turned, I didn't. I slid into the woods, hit a rock, hit a tree and finally dropped 5 feet into a bush. Got knocked out again, I was told what happened by my friend, I actually have no idea what happened. I got to ride down in one of those orange sleds that you see injured people in. Went to the Emergency Room for that one.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

I was classically movie-like clotheslined.

That happened to a guy I knew. Only instead of clothes line, it was that steel cable that you see supporting lightposts and such. He was chasing someone, they ducked, he didn't. His feet actually left the ground. It was quite impressive.

My feet left the ground on two memorable occasions. Once was when I was about 5-6 and I decided to run, grab the monkey bars, swing, and let go, sending me through the air and onto my feet. Wrong.

I didn't let go fast enough, swung almost parallel to the ground, then let go, only to land flat on my back.

The second time was in Aikido practice. I don't recall the name of the move and it'd be hard to describe without actually showing you, but Yuki, one of our more experienced members, made me go airborne and spin when I was parallel to the ground. It happened so fast that I didn't even realize that I was airborne until I heard the "BOOM" of my body hitting the mats and the rush of expelled air from my lungs. I was blinking and everyone came to check on me. When they asked if I was alright, I responded with, "That was AWESOME!"