The most horrific thing that has happened to your nobler parts

[FinalHeart95]

Steel toed kick to the gonads.

I felt like I had to take a dump, it was awful.

 

[brunothepig]

Getting onto my bike and crushing them in an awkward position. We've all done it.

I haven't! I can't ride a bike. No bull, I never bothered to learn. Didn't care.
Anyhoo, for me it's just the usual stuff. I've been kicked, got hit by a ball of some kind (I forget)... Nothing exotic, thank god.

 

[omicron1]

Let me see, a cricket to the balls was not fun. Also any guy that had the 'operation' as a kid. Takes ages to heal and hurts everytime you move. Protecting yourself from getting hit in the balls is like watching out for a ninja.....it happens at the most unusal time. You just never see it coming. (Pun intended.hee hee)

Huh. I never woulda thought a cricket [http://asab.icapb.ed.ac.uk/exercises/alevel_psych/images/typical_cricket.gif] would hurt at all. Unless it bit you...

 

[Liquid Paradox]

Couple of guys at school held me down, while a 3rd did a pile driver into my nuts. the result was a twisted testicle. after three days of the worst pain ever, the doctors told me I needed an operation to fix it. so, the doctors took a scalpel to my groin, pulled put my testicles, and spent an hour untwisting the left one. it was well over a month before I could walk again, and even then, not without severe discomfort.

/thread

 

[Liquid Paradox]

Couple of guys at school held me down, while a 3rd did a pile driver into my nuts. the result was a twisted testicle. after three days of the worst pain ever, the doctors told me I needed an operation to fix it. so, the doctors took a scalpel to my groin, pulled put my testicles, and spent an hour untwisting the left one. it was well over a month before I could walk again, and even then, not without severe discomfort.

/thread

 

[Stoic raptor]

Couple of guys at school held me down, while a 3rd did a pile driver into my nuts. the result was a twisted testicle. after three days of the worst pain ever, the doctors told me I needed an operation to fix it. so, the doctors took a scalpel to my groin, pulled put my testicles, and spent an hour untwisting the left one. it was well over a month before I could walk again, and even then, not without severe discomfort.

/thread

Ouch.

Owww.

If I was you, I would get back at those guys. The Exact same way. Have 2 of your friends hold them down, then you pile drive.

 

[Naheal]

Beside from greater number of humans in the case of an alien war?

If you're thinking along my lines...

The children are sent first, as the meatshield wave, as we ready our weapons behind them...
Then I agree with you, good sir/madam.

i was more thinking of them as growing up into soldiers.

I know! We can create a sort of biotic mecha and have our kids pilot them! I'm certain that it's completely original and the aliens wouldn't know what hit them! [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BlatantLies]

 

[superbatranger]

Once i was out drinking with my friends and noticed during the night that I could not pee though i felt a strong urge to do so. This got progressively worse till at 5 in the night my stomach was swollen to pregnancy-esque size and I was in alot of pain. I rush to the hospital where they scan my bladder to find that it has over about 800ml of pee in it that for some reason cannot get out. So they decide to foley catheder me

IE. STICK A PLASTIC TUBE DOWN MY PENIS.

Now I have heard of this practise before and thought it would be some nasty shit to go through but being still very drunk and in pain i of course agree to the catheder.

Now the nurse fearing that i might go into renal failure if more urine is allowed to build up doesn't have time to wait for the sedative to work so she just jams that ************ down there (this is where the fun starts) - suddenly ALOT of dark nasty blood starts pulsing out of my penis much to the distress of the nurse who runs for a doctor who discovers that the reason that i couldn't pee was that my urethra had scar tissue in it (probably from being socked in the nuts at some other occasion) and that the foley catheder has:

PIERCED THE URETHRA!

Now desperate to prevent renal failure they attempt the catheder procedure 3 more times with different sized catheders increaseing the bleeding every time untill i am practically soaked in blood - at this point the sedative is finally beginnning to kick in - relaxing my muscles to the point where i am able to painfully pee a little (with chunks of coagulated blood comming out too). Considering renal failure now tempoarily avoided they rush me with ambulance to a uroligical special department on another hospital where they attempt (unsuccesfully) to catheder me 4 more times. Since they cannot get the catheder to work, they want me to go to another department and be submitted for gettting a catheder inserted through the stomach. As I'm walking to the other department after 5-6 hours of getting my dick molested while being drunk and not having anything to eat or drink, I pass out in the hallway.

The next day i wake up in a hospital bed scheduled for surgery where they stuff a camera and a scalpel down your urethra and cut away the scar tissue that is causing the block. The surgery is succesful, a foley catheder is finally inserted and i walk around with a catheder in for 14 days while my penis heals.

Since the nerves in my penis seem to have suffered some damage making sex feel like less. On the bright side I will never have problems with premature ejaculation as it usually takes me about half an hour.

Worst thing that EVER happened to me

Oh my fucking God why did I just read that?! My eyes! Aaaaaaagh!!!!!


EDIT: Well, actually the same thing happened to me. Sort of. Had the surgery, no catheter needed though. It still burned whenever I went to the restroom. Burned like living hellfire.

 

[Still Life]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.236492-Testicles-Lets-talk-about-em#8431887

Spoke on this already.

Fascinating how broke the search bar is.

When I searched for testicles, I only got some unrelated newspost from back in June.

Why on earth were you searching testicles? o.o

Probably feeling a bit peckish.

 

[ArcticSquirrel]

Have you guys ever played a game called Ninja?

I played with a 10 year old once(and last time), and my hand was kinda infront of my "Noble" area.. Instead of going for my hand, he decided to do a spear-hand thingy right into my ballsack.

http://bstk.game-engine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/shihon-nukite-four-finger-spear-hand.jpg

 

[Tsunimo]

Last week actually.
In Aikido, I was the Uke for someone who needed to work on pins, and when he dropped me, I may or may not have landed on them... luckily I'm not particularly heavy.
Although reading this makes mine sound quite minor.
EDIT:

Spoiler: I decided this would be appropriate

 

[Jewrean]

1) Got shot with a paintball gun in the balls. No box / cup. Fairly close range.

2) When I was just hitting puberty but still young enough to enjoy play-grounds I fell from a high up place on top of a wet play-ground straight down onto a pole which went between my legs. Comically I then slowly rotated upside down and fell to the ground. I was speechless.

 

[Tekkawarrior]

Taekwondo sparring without a cup.
Kicked with stilettos at school for being mean.

 

[Lynx]

But. Which is worse: Being kicked in the groin continuously for the duration of a childbirth, or being the one to give birth?

I have nooo idea. All I know is both are extremely painful, but I have never given birth and I don't have testies. The closest I've gotten is the once-a-month cramps.

Which, incidentally, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with.

I imagine that if the kicks are too frequent, the man'll just become really numb though. Or maybe pass out. It's just that I've never heard of a woman vomiting in pain during childbirth. But I digress, they are probably very different kinds of pain.

That is true - although many women black out for periods of time during childbirth if it's too lengthy/painful/not enough anesthesia.
And let's not forget: Women are built to handle that sort of pain. It's natural. Groin-kicks are not.

 

[BabyRaptor]

Having my son without any pain meds. 9 pound baby, almost 3 feet long at birth with a 26 CM around head...Yeah.

 

[Jonluw]

But. Which is worse: Being kicked in the groin continuously for the duration of a childbirth, or being the one to give birth?

I have nooo idea. All I know is both are extremely painful, but I have never given birth and I don't have testies. The closest I've gotten is the once-a-month cramps.

Which, incidentally, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with.

I imagine that if the kicks are too frequent, the man'll just become really numb though. Or maybe pass out. It's just that I've never heard of a woman vomiting in pain during childbirth. But I digress, they are probably very different kinds of pain.

That is true - although many women black out for periods of time during childbirth if it's too lengthy/painful/not enough anesthesia.
And let's not forget: Women are built to handle that sort of pain. It's natural. Groin-kicks are not.

Indeed it is a complicated issue.

 

[RoyalWelsh]

I've had my man parts punched a few times, but that didn't hurt as much as getting hit very, very, very, very hard by a football that was travelling at a zillion miles an hour.