The old belt (Parents using violence to correct you)
- Thread starter theloneassassin
- Start date
Recommended Videos
And my father used a spatula. Not fun times, I'll tell you that muchKheapathic said:
OT: I have no problem with people using a force such as spanking, because children are stupid and they only understand pain and enjoyment. I am refering to children under 6 or so, after that, they have a better sense of consequence.
Kids are individuals. They don't all respond the same way to the same punishments. Sitting down and talking never worked for me, when I was a kid. I was a little brat too smart for my own good. When my parents tried to teach me the importance of honesty, I was quick to point out how often the fibbed. Stealing is wrong? So why did dad always take pens from work? Time out was just another joke. So what if I couldn't go outside? I could easily sit in a corner for hours humming and thinking up crazy stories in my head.
But a spanking? I hated that shit. I rather enjoy sitting in chairs, thank you very much. So I made damn sure I avoided putting myself in a situation that I knew would earn me a fierce whack to my ass.
A wallop upside the head is not the same as running up and headbutting them. A slap to the hand is not the same fingernail pulling. A swat to the bum is not the same as a metal folding chair to their back. So stop acting like it is.
But a spanking? I hated that shit. I rather enjoy sitting in chairs, thank you very much. So I made damn sure I avoided putting myself in a situation that I knew would earn me a fierce whack to my ass.
A wallop upside the head is not the same as running up and headbutting them. A slap to the hand is not the same fingernail pulling. A swat to the bum is not the same as a metal folding chair to their back. So stop acting like it is.
This is a fallacious argument: peer reviewed studies trump anecdotal evidence every time.Hobo Steve said:
The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends against the use of physical punishment as a form of child discipline, as does the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health in the UK, and as does UNESCO, and just about every other paediatric institution. These are the foremost national and international experts on children; but no, your opinion trumps theirs because you have *experience*. Please...
My father is probably a rare exception but back when I was a young (3-17 years old) he would give me and my younger sister all out beatings. Keep in mind my father was a alcoholic and probably one of the worst people I know lol. I remember my sister broke his chair one day and I couldnt bear to think of how bad he would hit her so I took responsibility and man did I get it bad haha.
Overall the experience made me resent my sister(who never deserved it) and made violence second nature to me. I have a kid on the way now and I probably will spank but I don't believe he/she will ever know how much it hurts me to do so.
Overall the experience made me resent my sister(who never deserved it) and made violence second nature to me. I have a kid on the way now and I probably will spank but I don't believe he/she will ever know how much it hurts me to do so.
The European Paediatric Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Australian and New Zealand Association of Paediatric Surgery and the United Kingdom's Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health all condemn smacking and all provide irrefutable evidence that suggests smacking doesn't work and is actually detrimental to a child's well being and health.Hobo Steve said:
I only know of one pediatric professional who encourages beating your children, and I have actually read his thesis on the issue. So I don't see where you are pulling this nonsense about me not understanding the other side of the argument. Maybe your arse? Yeah, I think so.
The studies I posed above are excellent examples. They are incredibly reliable and offer a real insight into how we should adress the issue.
All you are doing is blocking your ears and screaming "YOU'RE WRONG, YOU'RE WRONG" without ever bothering to provide evidence of how I am, or ever bothering to provide some critique of the scientific method I posted above. This is why I am not taking you seriously. This is why no one will ever take your opinions seriously as long as you continue to carry on like that.
I agree, and there is something interesting about a person who so readily defends violence towards a child without providing any reliable evidence or any shred of a logical assessment of why, and all the while denying every piece of evidence that proves otherwise. It's a little disturbing, but it does interest me. Life would be a very simple place for them, I guess.dyre said:
I am glad they have no worthwhile medical or psychological association on their side though. Haha.
I remember my mom leaning over and whispering in my ear. I never understood what she was saying but it got me to stop, She would grab my shoulder and lean over and whisper to me... She slapped me twice, i deserved it both times for being a little shit (once at 12 and 15). I found out recently that what she whispered to me was usually "I love you" or "I love you but you need to stop".
Rather the end goal should be getting the child to a position where they can be a person they want to be and are able to make their own choices and respond to their own problems in a confident and logical manner. If you want to make your kid someone who agrees unquestioningly it is a much easier task. If you want to have a kid who can say no and look at the world and form their own ideas then your in for one hell of a ride.
That being said Slapping some sense into a demonically possessed teenager is sometimes the only way to go. It does not have to be hard it is the symbology of the action that has the impact.
Vast oversimplification of the situation but close enough to work. Parenting is a difficult task that does not come naturally to anyone, Physical Violence can be useful in reinforcing behavioral trends and stopping others but that approach sees the manipulation of the child to who the parent's will as the end goal of parenting.Dirty Hipsters said:
Rather the end goal should be getting the child to a position where they can be a person they want to be and are able to make their own choices and respond to their own problems in a confident and logical manner. If you want to make your kid someone who agrees unquestioningly it is a much easier task. If you want to have a kid who can say no and look at the world and form their own ideas then your in for one hell of a ride.
That being said Slapping some sense into a demonically possessed teenager is sometimes the only way to go. It does not have to be hard it is the symbology of the action that has the impact.
Lol what, since when were we discussing violence and video games? I know very little about it, and I simply said that the little I have seen has all been very bad science.Hobo Steve said:
You're really not having a great time at this, are you? You have completely ditched the topic and started bringing up something I said off hand a few posts ago. If you want to talk violence and video games, fine. I don't really know that much about it.
And when The European Paediatric Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the Australian and New Zealand Association of Paediatric Surgery and the United Kingdom's Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health all conduct studies that show an explicit and irrefutable link between smacking a child and complications later on, that doesn't mean anything?EvilPicnic said:
Like I said earlier, your opinion on those organisations yourself is irrelevant, but their studies show something extremely interesting and their use of the scientific method has been extraordinary. If you discount this, you're ignorant. Plain and simple.
Discipline implies that a rule has been broken, that the child has been confronted, and punished. Corporal punishment is fast and effective. Time outs and grounding can be just as abusive as spanking. I don't have to spank my daughter often because when she was younger I did it (rarely even then). Corporal punishment inflicts fleeting physical pain; time-outs and grounding inflict drawn-out emotional suffering. I guess it depends on which one the child is more effected by, or whichever one causes the parent less guilt - which kids pick up on. Positive reinforcement works as well, but doing it too much engenders a sense of entitlement, and this is a discussion about punishment not rewards systems.
All social animals use corporal punishment because pain and fear are primary motivators.
All social animals use corporal punishment because pain and fear are primary motivators.
Thats how my daddy disciplined me, and his dad, and his dad, and his dad....It was situational though, I think it really depends on the situation
I see a viscous cycle here. You conflate fear with respect as a child because your parents beat it into you, then if you gain power later in life you beat that same "respect" into others.jpoon said:
I hate this cycle, it causes so much suffering in the world.
So don't beat your kids, for the future!
break this tired old routine.
[hr]
please break the cycle of violencelullabykid said:
also, I take it you no longer resent your sister?
I think it's stupid when people say "I was hit as a child by my parents and I turned out okay, thus any child who is ever hit by their parents will turn out okay" It's such a lazy, uninformed and useless opinion. Hitting your kids is the easy way out, it's the absolute laziest and worst kind of parenting there is.
Damn, why am I so fucking forgetful to many aspects of write something that actually makes sense today. Humility is a great trait, same with being proud of yourself and once lose self respect and all that, but I could never find myself liking people only being proud of themselves or being completely humbling. But sir you are correct. I'll rephrase some things in my comment to hope that it makes sense, thank you Zarguhl.zarguhl said: