The perfect murder

[tomtom94]

Step one: Kill Hubilub
Step two: Do away with his fans (should be easy)
Step three: ??
Step four: Profit
Step five: Everyone loves Zeeky again!

This plan has only one slightly obvious flaw which I think you should have foreseen.

A murder in which all the evidence points to wrong conclusion.

I can't remember who said it, but "The perfect crime is not the crime that is never solved; but the crime which is solved with the wrong outcome".
I reckon I first heard it in Phoenix Wright.

OT: Ironic murders are always the best.
(To give a fictional example, kill a French swot with an Eiffel Tower model, and a Geography swot with a globe, and if ANYONE gets that reference I'll be very impressed)

Seriously, what was the flaw?

Well, if you do it to Hubilub, surely someone's bound to think "Hmmmmmm..."
That someone may or may not be me.
That may or may not be a revving chainsaw outside your window.

OT: Ironic murders are always the best.
(To give a fictional example, kill a French swot with an Eiffel Tower model, and a Geography swot with a globe, and if ANYONE gets that reference I'll be very impressed)

Anthony Horowitz, one of the Diamond Brothers books, I can't remember which.

OT: Kill them, stick the body in a bath full of lye, ebay the bath and emigrate.

i think it was i know what yo did last Wednesday by Anthony Horrowitz

Congratulations, you very impress me.

 

[quiet_samurai]

Either create a gas leak in their home or poison. Both of them create minimal amount of forensic evidence that can be easily traced directly back to you.

 

[Sigmund Av Volsung]

I would pose as a stranger, and buy my target drinks until he/she is drunk, take him/her outside and 'accidentally' shove them onto an oncoming car.

What you got to say to that?

 

[Proctorninja]

take a person out to international waters then kill and dump overboard, no country has jurisdiction out there

Doesn't mean you can get away with murder o.o It's just bloody hard to extradict you. Whilst the laws of the land override laws of the citizen, if one cannot apply, the other will.

if done right there shouldn't be any signs of a struggle so claiming the person went over the side and drowned seems reasonable and without a body and witnesses they have to go on ur word

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

take a person out to international waters then kill and dump overboard, no country has jurisdiction out there

Doesn't mean you can get away with murder o.o It's just bloody hard to extradict you. Whilst the laws of the land override laws of the citizen, if one cannot apply, the other will.

if done right there shouldn't be any signs of a struggle so claiming the person went over the side and drowned seems reasonable and without a body and witnesses they have to go on ur word

Oh ... well yeah that's different .. I thought you meant you could just abduct people, take them on a boat and execute them. Law doesn't work like that.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

I completely agree. You never know. There are people out there that may uproar about this topic.

And besides there is no such thing as a perfect crime. Just really good conceald ones that the cops with their forenics team would eventually find out in due time.

Well, Richard Kuklinski would like to disagree with you... he killed over 250 people and was only caught because an undercover cop got him drunk.

 

[Kris015]

Leave your victim alone for 100 years. It's absolutely failsafe, and no-one could ever suspect anything!

But what if someone cures aging!

http://www.manhattanbeachproject.com/ They will.. Kinda scary, isn't it?

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

I think the perfect murder would be to go on holiday to another country. Find a random, married person who you have never met in your life. One day you knock on the persons door while they are at work and seduce their partner into having sex with you. You film it and then arrange this film to be shown to the person who was away. You use a tranquilizer on them and hypnotise them into killing their partner. Make sure that the film is not found by police. When the murder happens the hypnotised guy will be found guilty in court as it will just be a paranoid guy killing his wife on suspicion of cheating and you will live to kill another day.

For extra enjoyment, commit this act in a country where they have the death penalty. Double kill!
Better yet, find someone who is a violent alchoholic and skip the hypnosis.

Is it mentally healthy for me to think up these things?

 

[Cherry Cola]

Step one: Kill Hubilub
Step two: Do away with his fans (should be easy)
Step three: ??
Step four: Profit
Step five: Everyone loves Zeeky again!

Your plan has one fatal flaw!

By doing away with my fans, you must do away with the entire universe!

There would be nobody left to love you!

OT: I'd let Zeeky do what he planned, then he will kill himself out of loneliness.

IT'S FUCKING FOOLPROOF!

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

Pretty simple, really.


Step 1: Take your mark on a cruise out into the ocean. Preferrably in a private boat from a private dock.
Step 2: Sail into the ocean, passing the ruse that you're just out enjoying the ocean with a 'friend'. Once you pass into international waters, proceed to step 3.
Step 3: Restrain mark, including a gag. Ensure all of their personal effects are secured.
Step 4: add weights to ensure they sink
Step 5: Shove overboard
Step 6: Adjust your tie, drop a one liner, and return home. Providing the weights stay attached they will never even know your mark is dead. And even if they did find out you did it in international waters. Out of jurisdiction.

Wouldn't someone quickly report the victim missing?, leading to an investigation tracing back to you, the only person with them when they vanished?

 

[Gizmo007666]

i knew csi was lieing to me

It wasn't, assuming it was CSI and not another tv show that I'm thinking of they explained that you would never be able to get someone to just kill themselves through hypnosis. However if they were made to believe that they were going for a swim in the pool and the balcony on the was the diving board then you could get them to unintentionally kill themselves

 

[Dfskelleton]

I'm pretty sure a lot of us watch Dexter, right? That seems pretty perfect to me.

 

[jawg_t-j]

i knew csi was lieing to me

It wasn't, assuming it was CSI and not another tv show that I'm thinking of they explained that you would never be able to get someone to just kill themselves through hypnosis. However if they were made to believe that they were going for a swim in the pool and the balcony on the was the diving board then you could get them to unintentionally kill themselves

cool now i understand thankyou.

 

[Van Miranda]

I completely agree. You never know. There are people out there that may uproar about this topic.

And besides there is no such thing as a perfect crime. Just really good conceald ones that the cops with their forenics team would eventually find out in due time.

Well, Richard Kuklinski would like to disagree with you... he killed over 250 people and was only caught because an undercover cop got him drunk.

Yay for the undercover cop! But that proves the point doesn't it. Eventually he got caught. Though, I must admit there have been crimes that do go unsolved only because of lack of evidence or technology.

 

[Quad08]

The perfect murder/crime is the one no one knows about

 

[Nukey]

Well...

The perfect murder is, when thinking about it, impossible to achieve. There are just too many variables to account for, not to mention the random chance that something might go wrong. However, the closest a murder could get to being "perfect" is when all evidence points away from the perpetrator and towards someone who seems more likely to have committed the crime. For example, if a foe of the wo/man happens to be moving away, kill the victim a few days before they leave, it'll make it seem like the foe did it. To make it seem more like they did, kill the victim with something the "foe" has access to or, if possible, something that belongs to them.

It also helps if you have no connection to the victim whatsoever, as authorities tend to investigate those closest to them.